Hey, everyone, welcome back! So, I'm here again, and… (Ehem! Excuse me, but, did you say 'I'? Aren't missing something, or someone?) Sorry… so, we are here again, Angelica and yours truly (Much better.), for another famous fairy tale's parody. (The original author must be rolling on his tomb.) Come on, you don't really mean that. (Of course not… he must be reduced to dust by now, and there's nothing left to roll.)
Okay, Miss Sympathy, can you please read the disclaimer? (Do I detect some sarcasm here? Fine, here I go. DISCLAIMER: Acosta, as you guys already know, doesn't own any Rugrats/AGU character, all of us owned by Nickelodeon; the original 'Puss in Boots' story, apparently, was written by Charles Perrault, an awful bunch of years ago, therefore it's public knowledge and can be used without messing with anyone's copyright.)
Thanks, Angelica. Now, a quick author note; as must of my parodies, this story will have a lot of narration by one character, all of it written in italics.
(And, now we had finished… on with the show!)
Fluffy in Boots.
A Rugrats/AGU story by Acosta Pérez José Ramiro.
- Enter The Cat.
"Thanks for being here so fast, Taffy," Didi Pickles received the teenage nanny at her home. "I have to take Dil to the doctor for his check-up, and it's a little hard to take all the kids with me. My husband was supposed to watch them today, but he got a last-minute call from a carnival to make a deal involving one of his inventions."
"Is fine, Mrs. Pickles; I have no previous engagements today, and I like to spend time with the Minis." The girl replied while entering the house, "So, who I'm going to take care of today? Is the whole group, or just Tommy and the twins, or him and the Finsters?"
"Actually, is the whole group, including Angelica. Susie is the only one who isn't here because her family is out for the weekend." Didi explained while she and Taffy went upstairs, the woman to get Dil, and the teen to listen the rest of her instructions.
On the meantime, at the backyard, Angelica was pacing back and forth in front of the babies, who were on a line in front of her, while the blonde was trying to think on a good game.
"Well, since I'm stuck with you babies for today, at least let's do something fun… I got it!" Angelica exclaimed, getting a sly grin a moment later, "Let's play you guys are innocent villagers, and I'm the vampire that looks for victims."
"Vampire? That's scary!" Chuckie gulped and covered his neck with both hands.
"Uh… Angelica, we were thinking that maybe we can play with the blocks today." Tommy suggested. Angelica eyed him angrily, but returned to her sly grin immediately.
"That's not a bad idea… then, you can build a city, and I'm the huge monster that destroys it!" Angelica ended with a devilish laugh.
"AngeliKong strikes again." Phil rolled his eyes at Lil, who nodded and sighed.
"That's not nice, Angelica. You always want to break everything we do." Kimi folded her arms.
"Hey, it's not my fault breaking things is so funny!" Angelica snapped, and sighed in annoyance. "Okay, how about this? We are going to play you babies are looking for treasures… like, cookies or candy… and then, I, Pirate Angelica steals it from you, and…"
"You eat all of it and we have nothing, right?" Lil frowned; the rest of the babies got similar expressions, surprising the blonde.
"What's up with you babies today? Too much powder in the diapers, or what?" Angelica said, confused.
"Is just that we're tired of you always doing nasty things to us, Angelica; you break our things, say lies, fool us, scare us, steal our candy, and many other things we can not remember now!" Tommy groaned. Angelica looked at the other babies, who were nodding and frowning at her, except Chuckie, who had a hesitant expression.
"Come on, Chuckie, aren't you tired of Angelica always being nasty with us?" Kimi, noticing her brother's look, turned at him; Chuckie looked at her and the other babies, and then at Angelica, who had a half-anxious, half-stunned expression.
"Uh… you are… not a good girl?" Chuckie replied, talking nervously, and fearing Angelica's reaction.
"Oh." Angelica turned slightly to avoid eye-contact with him, and stood there, not knowing what to do; it wasn't the first time the babies stood up against her, but they had never been this serious before.
"Hello, Minis!"
The babies turned and smiled widely when spotting Taffy; Angelica shook her head and smiled as well, yet it was obvious the smile wasn't entirely honest. The nanny sat next to the group, and started singing at them, as she usually did when babysitting; after a while, she noticed Angelica wasn't in a very good mood, and decided to talk with her.
"Okay, Minis, I'm bringing some juice and cookies Tommy's mom left for you," Taffy said to the babies, and then turned at the blonde. "Want to come with me, Angelica?"
"Sure… whatever," Angelica replied, looking a little down. Taffy now was more than convinced there was something wrong with the girl.
Angelica and Taffy entered the kitchen, and the nanny opened the fridge to take out the juice while Angelica simply stood next to her, supporting her back against the fridge. Taffy placed the juice at the table, and kneeled to talk at Angelica's face.
"Angelica, do you feel okay? Are you sick or something?"
"Uh… no, Taffy… I'm fine, really." Angelica said in a very unconvincing tone.
"Angelica, I'm your nanny, and if you have a problem, it's my job to try solving it, or at least make you feel a little better. Come on, you can tell me." Taffy insisted; Angelica decided that, since Taffy was a grown-up, but still a lot younger than her parents, she could be trusted and maybe have an idea to help her.
"It's just that… well, the babies… not that I really care, of course, I mean, I'm a big girl and all… but… they no longer want to play with me."
"Well, maybe it's because they don't get how to play big children's games."
"No, we always play… played… games we all could understand, but… today I proposed some games, and even ordered them, but… still said they didn't want to play with me any more."
Taffy rubbed her chin; of course, the teen couldn't understand baby-talking, but she guessed Angelica was close enough to the babies' age so actually they could communicate at a certain level.
"And, when you play with them… what's your role?"
"Rock and Roll, but only when we play music, and we're still learning…"
"No, not 'Roll', Angie, your 'role'," Taffy explained as trying to hold a chuckle, "is the character you play as; you know, the leader, the princess, the nice girl, or whatever you normally play like."
"The villain." Angelica sighed and looked down.
"Hey, don't feel bad for that, Angelica. The villain is a very important role in any story or game."
"Is just that… I like playing villain, Taffy, but sometimes I wish I could be the good one for once!" Angelica said, a little bit too loudly, "But I can't stop playing villain! Even when I start the game as one of the good guys, I always end playing as the main bad one. And that's the only way I know how to play, and… I do it so good the babies no longer want to play with the big, bad girl."
Angelica was now at the verge of tears. The girl always claimed to not really need the babies, and be annoyed by them, but it was far from true; she loved the attention, and hated to be left out of anything, so she had to include herself on everything, even if needing to do it as the bad one. The idea of them no longer allowing her to play, or organize the games, was just too much for the blonde.
"You know, you can play the hero even if you act as a villain, Angelica." Taffy said as gently washing a little tear coming down the girl's cheek.
"Uh? What do you mean?"
"Well, that some heroes can lie, cheat, and do some naughty things once in a while, and still be heroes."
"But… heroes aren't supposed to always be nice and say the truth, and all that?" Angelica gave the nanny a puzzled look.
"Yeah, most of them do it, but I know someone who became a hero by acting as a mischievous little guy." Taffy said as standing up and motioning Angelica to follow her. The nanny grabbed the juice while Angelica carried the cookies' bowl, and they went back with the babies.
"Okay, Minis, let's sit down, and get a cookie, because I'm telling you a story." Taffy said as sitting at the lawn, with Angelica and the babies circling her and each picking up either a cookie or a little glass with juice. "Is a tale about a very smart kitty, and I know you'll like it."
"What's the kitty's name?" Angelica asked, feeling suddenly very curious about the tale.
"Let's see… you can give the kitty a name, if you want, Angelica."
"How about 'Fluffy', like my pet?"
"I can work with that. Okay, this is the tale of the Fluffy in Boots…"
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Once upon a time… I wonder why tales can't give exact dates… there was a kingdom on a very far away land. On this place, there was a boy who had lost his mommy and his daddy, and he had to take care of himself.
The scene shows an ancient barn, with a boy sitting at the hay. He is Tommy, on his 'All Grown Up' looks, wearing poor villager clothing, and reading from a large sheet of paper. Next to him, and looking at the boy, is Fluffy, Angelica's cat (on her 'Rugrats' young version), with an expecting face.
"Let's see what I got left." Tommy says to the cat as checking the paper, "According to the will, my dad left the mill, and the bank account, to my oldest brother… the donkey, and the DVD collection, to my other brother… and, for me, the youngest… I get the cat, and whatever money is left at the piggy bank."
Tommy gives a long look at the cat, and sighs, rolling his eyes.
"And Dad always said he wasn't playing favorites." Tommy starts petting the cat, and looks at his feet, with a little piggy bank next to them. "Guess it's just the two of us now, Fluffy; hope you can catch some mice to feed yourself, because I'll need the money for me."
The cat arches an eyebrow at Tommy, and gets a sad expression.
"Fine; I'll still buy you your cottage cheese and the sardines in tomato sauce… God, I'm that easy to convince?" Tommy says to himself as the cat gets a little grin.
That night, while the boy was sleeping, the cat left the barn, looking for a midnight snack.
"Just my luck," the cat talks to herself, with Angelica's voice, "One day I have a nice place to live, and suddenly I get stuck at this dumpster with that poor loser… and there's no way I'm hunting for food; at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if all the mice I catch have the plague."
The cat then hears a sound coming from a nearby bush, and gets an attacking position.
"Okay, pal, here are your options; if you're a dog, let me warn you I have the rabies, a 300 pounds cousin resting at the barn, and a black collar in Meow-Fu; if you're another cat, scram, because this is my territory; and if you're a healthy mouse, or a bird, get out with the paws or wings up, and bring some ketchup."
"No… please, I want no troubles." Chuckie's voice is heard, and, a moment later, a brown puppy, with a gray spot around his left eye, and a messy bunch of red fur on top of his head, emerges from the bush.
"Great, a dog… can't live with them, can't make them a sandwich either." The feline rolls her eyes, unimpressed, since realizing the dog is hardly her size and therefore isn't a menace.
"Sorry, I didn't want to bother you." The dog explains in a shy tone, "I'm just looking for a place to stay… I used to live at the palace, but I'm a stray now and…"
"Wait a moment!" Fluffy wide opens her eyes, "You lived at the palace…THE PALACE… with the King, the Queen, the servants, nice soft pillows, warm meals, and no need for hunting your lunch?"
"Uh… yes." The dog says, surprised at the cat's sudden enthusiasm. "I was supposed to grow up as one of the palace guard dogs, but… I got rejected for being a scaredy cat; no offense."
"None taken," the cat smiles slyly, "So, you know how to enter the palace, uh? Maybe I can go there, and, once everyone notices my nice looks and elegance, I'll immediately become the royal pet, and all my problems will be solved! Can you do me that favor, please, dog? Just show me how to enter, and I'll do the rest." The cat says in a surprisingly nice tone.
"Well, sure, if you want." The dog shrugs, and motions the cat to follow him. However, after a few minutes, the feline stops and gets a sad expression while looking back.
"Anything's wrong?"
"Is just that… well… I have a confession to make, dog." the cat sighs, "I'm not a stray; I actually have a collaborator…"
"Collaborator?"
"Yeah; cats have no owners, but collaborators; some people like to think they're our masters, but hey, that's their opinion, and as long as they can open our tuna cans and clean the litter box, cats are fine with that." Fluffy replies as getting back her grin, but the sad expression returns immediately, "Anyway, this boy had been taking care of me since I was just a little kitten, and now he's on a very bad situation. His brothers got all his parents' worthy things, sold them, and left to a very far away kingdom… I think is called Las Vegas or something… and he only has a little money left; I'm the only thing he has in the world."
"But… if that's truth, then you can't leave!" The dog exclaims. "Even if you claim to him not owning you, you still owe him for taking care, feeding and protecting, and abandoning him wouldn't be nice."
"I know… having a conscience isn't exactly easy, you know, dog? I want to have a nice, careless life, but I would like him to have a good one as well."
"Too bad you can't make him rich or something like that."
Fluffy is then hit by inspiration, and rubs her chin in thought.
"Who says we can't?"
"Wait, did you say 'we'? You mean, plural, as in, the two of us?" The dog gulps, not liking the cat's expression at all.
"Well, dog, you are the one giving me the lecture about loyalty, so is your duty to teach by setting the example."
"Me and my big muzzle," The dog says to himself, "Fine, but two things; one, if I help you, you must work as well. And two, stop calling me 'dog'; my name is Puppy."
"Who named you, the village's fool?" Fluffy chuckles slightly as placing a paw on the canine's shoulder. "Just kidding; okay, we'll need a brilliant plan to make my little collaborator a happy member of high society, and me, an even happier member of said society."
"And how are we doing it?"
"Cheating, lying, tricking… that's the feline way!" Fluffy says as Puppy arches an eyebrow at her. "Hey, it worked at Egypt."