Disclaimer: I do not own any part whatsoever of the Harry Potter franchise. And I totally didn't steal three of my made-up character names from real people/characters either. =D

Ruled by Secrecy

Chapter 1: Gingers

Percy dashed off the train to where his family were standing. He had insisted that he needed to get on the train early, but his mother, ever the voice of force, insisted that he come to see his younger sister on safely. And you don't argue with Molly Weasley. He was already in his school robes, and hastily polished the shiny, red and gold badge on his chest as he hurried back from the Prefects' compartment.

However, he soon found that his family couldn't care less whether he was there to see Ginny onto the train, they were all just standing about looking worried because Ron and Harry weren't there yet. Percy couldn't exactly be bothered to listen to what they were ranting on about; he was a Prefect and he took orders from no-one who didn't have a shiny badge like his. Why were they fussing over the younger ones when they should have been focusing on Percy and his shiny Prefect badge?

"Mother, could we please get this over with? I need to be on the train as soon as possible to begin my patrols!"

Molly gave his a such disapproving look that it would have made a weaker man falter and burst into tears. "Don't you care that your brother and Harry haven't shown up yet?"

Not ever having grasped the fact that you should think before you speak, Percy quite bluntly responded "No, not really, now if you don't mind-"

"Percy Ignatius Weasley!" his mother bellowed, "Just who do you think you are talking like that about your younger brothers? You ought to know that family always comes before everything else! And-"

Percy had stopped listening. He checked his musty old watch, and, noting the time, decided he didn't want to hang around. He promptly got up and walked off towards the Prefects' compartment, despite cries from his mother of "Percy! Are you even listening?" and mutters from the twins of "What a twat..."

He turned his nose up to the air. What did he care what anyone thought, anyway? And so what if he was a twat? At least he was a twat with a shiny badge and a sense of authority. And the thought that Fred and George would never be in the same position as him kept him warm at night.

As he got onto the train, he was accosted by his roommate and on-and-off friend Oliver Wood. "Hey Perce, guess what I got?" he asked jubilantly, his hands clasped secretively behind his back.

"That I would really rather it if you called me Percy?" he muttered sarcastically. Of all his years of knowing Oliver, that was the one thing he had NEVER, EVER gotten.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Oliver laughed. "And anyway, you're wrong. I got..."

He paused for effect, before whipping a broomstick from behind his back. "Ta-da!" At the blank look on Percy's face, he said "It's a Nimbus! Newest model! Straight out of the US of A! Flies like a feather!"

"Actually, feathers have quite poor aerodynamic qualities..."

"Oh, man, whatever! Anyway, as Quidditch captain this year, I'm going to need the best broom, so my parents got it for me! Isn't it awesome? And check this out, I had my name engraved over here-"

By this point, Percy had decided that he didn't really care, and felt that it was time to cut the enthusiast off before he was trapped. "Lovely, really, Oliver, but I simply must get to my Prefect duties, you know, patrol and all that..." At this point, he held out the part of his robe upon which sat his shiny badge.

Oliver looked a little hurt, but managed to cover it up quickly. "Yeah, you do that. I'll see you tonight then."

"That's inevitable," Percy said, smiling slightly as he walked off to start his patrols. He honestly felt a little sorry for Oliver. He was so good at Quidditch, and he was so popular with the girls, but his marks were never particularly spectacular. It was a pity, because if he was as dedicated to work as he was to Quidditch, he could be second in the grade! Second to Percy, of course.

And, Percy thought to himself with bemusement, even though a guy like him could have any friends that he wanted, he attached himself to Percy, quite inexplicably. This was a mixed blessing. For someone like Percy, no friend could go amiss, especially when you were as unpopular as he was, but then again, Oliver wasn't exactly Percy's "kindred spirit".

Percy's thoughts would've wandered further, perhaps even into uncharted territory, but his mental processes were interrupted by the arrival of Penelope Clearwater, a Ravenclaw 5th year, on the scene.

"Hiya, Percy!" she said chirpily, popping up out of nowhere and walking alongside him. "Mind if I patrol with you?"

He gulped. "No, not at all, Penelope, I'd love it if you patrolled with me because I have a massive crush on you and I have to rush to the bathroom every time you so much as look at me, so let's just walk along together, and you'll have to excuse me if I don't look your way or if you suddenly see me spinning around in circles as though to stop my robes from clinging suspiciously to my body. But by all means, stay and patrol with me."

As if.

What Percy actually said was "Y- um- ah- yes."

"Oh, if you do mind, I can just go patrol elsewhere..."

"N... no! What I meant is, um, yes, by all means patrol with me, which is in effect no, but you know, questions which require negative answers in order to be positive are very confusing, and, um..."

Percy was stopped by Penelope's laugh, which made his insides twist up, do a somersault, jump up his throat, attach themselves to a bungee rope and continue to bounce up and down. "Oh, Percy, you're so funny!"

Percy looked highly proud of himself. Funny and a Prefect. And highly sexy. He thought. It was distinctly hard to look sexy in the way that every boy of sixteen so aspires to do when you wear glasses as thick as an iceberg, second-hand robes and to top it all off, are ginger. Nobody finds gingers sexy. Nobody.

As they walked down the corridors together, Percy listened as attentively as he possibly could to all of Penelope's tales about her summer break.

His goal for this year was to become as popular as he could, seeing it was the only thing barring him from the trifecta of status that was marks (top of the grade, ohhhhh yeah), authority (shiny Prefect badge) and popularity (still working on that one). The main plan of attack to gain popularity was to get a girlfriend as popular, good-looking and buxom as Penelope. And seeing as she had been the main object of his affections since he had discovered hormones, she was his obvious choice. He had been writing to her for all of the break, and trying his best to flirt with his quill.

So while he listened to her talking about who-cares-what, his mind worked hard to formulate a funny quip for when they eventually lapsed into silence, which he knew they would. And they did.

"Y'know, there must be a rule that a Prefect's name should start with P. I mean, there's us, and there's the fact that that badge has a P on it..."

Again, that laugh. Percy gritted his teeth and, although he had never attempted a non-verbal spell before, tried his absolute hardest to transfigure his cotton y-fronts into pants of steel. (Please don't tell me you were under the impression that wizards went commando... ?)

"Oh, Percy, let's go back to the Prefects' compartment!" Penelope gushed. "I'm so bored of patrolling."

"Wonderful idea. I'm sure it will be empty, and we can make out and then you can be my girlfriend and I'll be amazingly popular and all that and maybe in the carriage my, um, affliction will be less noticeable."

Percy just nodded. When they reached the compartment, however, it was already occupied. The other 5th year Ravenclaw Prefect was slumped in a seat next to the window. As soon as he saw them enter, he got up and embraced Penelope in a not-at-all-platonic manner. Percy shuddered.

"Percy, you know Peter? My co-Prefect and boyfriend."

Percy almost choked. Peter was taller than him, much more muscular, a lot better looking, wore the very best of robes, no glasses, and most definitely wasn't ginger.

"Uh, no, I don't believe we've met."

"Nice to meet you, Percy," Peter said, taking Percy's hand stiffly, only to receive a rather floppy handshake in return.

"Percy made a joke about all Prefects' names beginning with P, so I thought he absolutely had to meet you!" Penelope said, followed by a laugh.

Percy clenched his fists. "I should get back to my patrolling."

Penelope looked a little downcast. "Oh, already? But you just got in!"

"Yeah, and now I've got to get out... I'll see you around. Maybe." And with that he fled out of the compartment. He felt as though he was going to throw up. He needed to get well away from anything that reminded him of Penelope, so patrolling was, unfortunately, out of the question. He also had to distance himself from any Ravenclaws.

On his way down the corridor, he almost bumped into the food trolley, which could have been disastrous. Hastily getting some coins out of the pocket of his robes, he bought a bottle of pumpkin juice and dashed on past, pursued by a very weird look from the trolley lady.

There was loud laughter coming out of a compartment nearby, and Percy glanced in to see Oliver showing his Nimba-whatsit to Jack, Thom and Daffyd, their other roommates, who sat transfixed with the amazingly aerodynamic broomstick. He pushed open the door and, slamming it behind him, flopped down on the seat next to Oliver. He flipped the cap off his bottle of pumpkin juice and drank it all in one mouthful.

Percy looked up to see all the eyes in the compartment on him. "Who said you could sit in here?" Daffyd asked scornfully.

Percy managed to look a little affronted, as much as you could with your mouth full of pumpkin juice. Before he could swallow it and say anything, he found himself not needing to.

"I did," Oliver stated matter-of-factly. "Percy's my friend, and so I think he's more than entitled to sit in my compartment."

The other three rolled their eyes, and gave Percy a "you're-lucky-he-likes-you" look. Then they just went on with whatever they had been discussing before as if he wasn't there at all.

Later, as Percy was walking off the train, he noticed Penelope and Peter standing a bit too close together, holding hands. Disgusting. He wished it was him instead of Peter, and that Peter was walking jealously a few paces behind them with murder in his eyes.

When they reached the entrance to the Great Hall, he watched angrily as the couple stopped for a bit of a snog, and, in his anger, stormed over past his usual place at the table with Oliver and instead made his way to the head of the table, sitting down opposite that girl that Ron had a fairly obvious crush on, Hermione Granger. He didn't pay any attention whatsoever to the usual speeches, or the sorting, and he didn't even cheer or shake any hands when the Hat cried out "Gryffindor!"

Once or twice Hermione might have asked him what was wrong, but he was much too engulfed in his own anger to pay any attention to anything else, and so eventually she got the message and shut up. Once he had finished his meal, he went straight up to his dorm without stopping to help direct the first years. Instead, he hid himself in his corner of the room and started reading his new Potions textbook. He didn't even check whether his brother had arrived safely. After all, hormone-fuelled teenagers have no interest in anyone but themselves.

No-one came into the dorm for quite a while, and Percy most definitely preferred it that way. It was the first day back, and everyone would be down in the common room having the obligatory catch-up session, how were your holidays, what did you get up to, et cetera. Percy never really had anyone to catch up with, though, so he usually retired to his dorm. Of course, he would catch up with Oliver, but that would usually be done on the train or over dinner, and would usually consist of Oliver telling Percy all about his holidays and then bombarding him with not-quite-intrusive questions.

At around ten, Oliver stumbled into the dorm room with a large grin on his face. "Perce, y've gotta come downstairs! We are having this EPIC game of spin the wand, and..."

"No thank you, Oliver, but very kind of you to offer."

"Aw, come on! You've been sulking in here all night!"

"Yes, and I'd much rather stay, but thanks all the same."

At this point, the ever-astute Oliver picked up the iciness in Percy's tone that had replaced the usual self-righteousness, and the fact that he didn't look up from his book as he spoke, which, as Percy very often reminded him, was impolite. He took this as his cue to sit on the edge of his friend's bed and ask him what the matter was.

"What's up, Percy? You're not yourself tonight."

Percy sighed. "Why should I tell you?"

"Because I'm your best friend, idiot," Oliver said, but despite his words, there was no harshness in his voice. "You'll feel better if you get it off your chest, I promise you."

Either Percy was very easily persuaded, or there was something very reassuring in the way Oliver spoke to him, because he responded with "There's this girl, this girl who I... who I fancy, and we've been good friends for a while, only today I discovered that she has a boyfriend."

"What's her name?"

"Penelope. She's a Ravenclaw."

Oliver nodded omnisciently. "Great tits."

"Oh, Merlin!" Percy snapped, "Is that all boys think about? YES, she has great tits, but that's not why I like her! ... Well, not the main reason, anyway..."

An uneasy silence came over them for a few moments, which Percy eventually broke. "Oliver?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you... do you think that gingers are sexy?"

"Gingers as in you and your brothers and all that?"

"Yeah."

Oliver paused for a moment, considering his answer. Finally, he decided on "Yes, yes I do think that gingers are sexy. Why do you ask?"

"I don't think that Penelope finds gingers sexy."

"Ah, but there's the matter of the eternal ginger enigma at play here, solved only by those who have had relations with a ginger!"

Percy raised an eyebrow. "What enigma? I'm ginger, so how come I've never heard of it?"

Oliver giggled childishly. "If you don't know, I sure as hell ain't going to tell you!"

"Tell me!"

"Promise you won't, um, get angry?"

Percy nodded.

Oliver, putting a hand over his mouth to stop himself from losing grip and bursting into laughter, muttered something softly that Percy couldn't quite understand.

"What was that?"

"Ginger pubes. The enigma is, do gingers have ginger pubes?"

Percy's face flushed red. "Are you being quite serious? Say that one more time!" It was more a threat than a command.

"GINGER PUBES!" Oliver screeched, giving into his giggles and clutching his side as he fell backwards onto Percy's bed, still laughing.

Percy, in all his rage, easily flipped himself out of his seated position and threw himself on top of Oliver, straddling him, and instructing his hands to grip him around the throat. "Say it one more time!" he spat through clenched teeth. He needed to know that he was hearing correctly.

"Percy-" he started, short of breath, about to request that he be released from Percy's grip before he said it again, when the door to the room flung open.

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you were Jack, Thom or Daffyd at this point in time. Your game of spin the wand wasn't going to well (Oliver tended to be the life of the party), and so you had decided to head back up to your dorm and pack it in early. Well, early for some. On your way up the stairs, you could hear muffled shouting and laughter from your dorm, and you started to get a little suspicious as to what was going on in there.

When you opened the door, the sight that greeted your eyes made you do a double-take and question your dependable vision. Your two roommates, the Quidditch Captain and the Prefect, were engaging in what for all the world appeared to be foreplay on the latter's bed, despite the fact that they were both fully clothed. You would have seen Oliver lying on the bed, giggling, and responding to Percy's demand of "say it one more time" with a call of the other's name that sounded remarkably orgasmic. But for all you know, Oliver COULD have been getting pleasure from being straddled and choked by Percy. You've always had your suspicions that he's been into the kinky side of things. And Percy... well, who knew what Percy was capable of? He was so quiet, but you know what they say! The quiet ones are the best, if you follow.

You may now step out of the body of whichever roommate you chose to step in to, as we return our focus to what was going on between Percy and Oliver. What was going on between Percy and Oliver?

Neither of them, in fact, noticed when the door opened. It took Jack's cry of "Get a room, you two!" to pull them out of their respective states of blind fury and breathless amusement, following which Percy released his captive and spun off to the side, mumbling "Oh, shit."

Oliver was still laughing as he sat up and gasped for breath, not a healthy combination. In response to the accusing eyes that gaped at them, Percy, in a high-pitched voice, said "It's not what you think! I was strangling him because he accused me of, um..."

Realising how stupid - not to mention suss - it would seem if he finished that with "having ginger pubes," Percy blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"... being a twat! Yeah, he called me a twat, so I, um... decided to strangle him..."

"Way to overreact," muttered Thom, as he walked noncommittally over to his own bed. "Freak," added Daffyd. They were all too firewhiskey-stoned to pick up on the fact that no-one, not even Perfect Prefect Percy Rod-Up-His-Arse Weasley would strangle someone for calling him a twat, otherwise half the school would be dead. Or that Oliver was grinning madly. No-one grins after being strangled for calling someone a twat. Their reaction would be similar to the three other boys': "What the hell?"

They all took to their beds, not another word being exchanged about Percy and Oliver's curious activities, but Percy noticed out of the corner of his eye that before Oliver got into his bed (mere feet away from Percy's), he flicked his wand off the bedside table and pointed it at Percy, still smiling.

Percy had flinched instinctively at first, fully expecting Oliver to jinx him for lashing out at him like that. When nothing happened, he remembered that Oliver hadn't look mad at all, only a little confused, and perhaps amused. Which Percy was pretty sure made "bemused". Before he could fall asleep, Percy always liked to sort out everything on his mind, and tonight that meant why Oliver had pointed his wand at him. After several minutes of contemplation (was he going to jinx me, but didn't? But then why was he smiling? Was it an accident? But then why was he looking straight at me?), Percy had all but given up, when a terrible, horrible, and totally unreasonable thought popped into his mind.

Spin the wand.

Author's note: Well, there we go. This is a bribe fic for my co-account owner Lacrima so that she would write her fic "Tiara". Watch this space. Anyway, I hope you like it. Please leave a review! Any criticism or "hey, that's not canon" would be greatly appreciated, and, oh, go on, flamers are welcome. I love a good debate. And... story-alert! You know you want to!

- Love from Legs