I just wanted to thank you for what could be the most exciting moment of my life.
What Sparky hadn't told Speed – hadn't told anyone – was that it was the happiest he'd ever felt in his whole life. No, not winning the Grand Prix. Of course he was damn proud; who wouldn't be proud to see their best friend win the most important race in the world? It was that moment right before the race: he and Speed standing together near the Mach 6. It was an intimate moment, Sparky felt; almost as if they were alone, as if the thousands of spectators cheering in the stands didn't exist.
He'd simply wanted to shake Speed's hand and wish him good luck – but Speed had pulled him into a hug, and he immediately flung his scrawny arms around the racer. It wasn't as if he hadn't hugged Speed before; in fact, they'd hugged countless times, as best friends often do. But this was different. This was going to be the biggest night of Speed's life, even if he didn't win (though Sparky knew, in his heart, that he would)...and he had wanted to see Sparky before the race began. Not Trixie. Not Racer X. Not Mom and Pops. Sparky figured that Speed had a last-minute question about the Mach 6; sure, they were best friends, but why would Speed have wanted to see him and not the others?
He trembled, slightly, in Speed's embrace. Partly because he was nervous – he always got nervous before a race – but also for the raw emotion he felt at that moment. That connection that only best friends can feel. It was at that moment that Sparky realized Speed Racer was the most important person in his life. More important for family, for sure – hell, the Racers were his family now – and more important than any lover ever could be.
He felt slightly out of place as he walked to the winner's circle. He'd told the rest to go along without him, that this was just for the family – but Pops had placed a firm hand on Sparky's shoulder and told him, "You are family, boy, and don't you dare for a minute think that you're not." Mom smiled. Trixie grabbed him by the wrist – "Come on, Sparks, let's go, let's go!" – and Spritle and Chim-Chim jumped wildly at his side.
A million bulbs flashed. The sound of shutters clacking was almost deafening. Sparky wondered if this was as surreal for Speed as it was for him. Their eyes met. Speed grinned widely; Sparky couldn't help but do the same. He ran over to his best friend, hugged him, almost knocked him over, really. Slinging a friendly arm around Speed's shoulder.
Then they had presented Speed with the milk. The milk that Sparky had jokingly insisted Speed share with him when he won. Speed had taken a small sip of the milk...and then passed the bottle on to Sparky, whose hands were shaking so much that he had to be careful not to drop it. The bottle chilled his bony hands. Sparky raised it to his mouth, pressing it to his lips – to where Speed's lips had been – and drank. Drank as if it were the last thing he would ever drink in his life. Savoring the sweetness of the milk – the milk that Speed had given to him. Feeling Speed's milk running down his throat. The cool milk on his lips. The same milk that was on Speed's lips, which were now locked with Trixie's, as the racer dipped his girlfriend into a classic Hollywood kiss.
Sparky wished it had been him instead.
But he never told Speed this, and he never would. They sat together on the couch all night, watching television – but the TV was mostly background noise. They mostly talked. About everything. "I can't believe it," they kept repeating to each other before erupting in sleepy laughs. Then, "I couldn't have done it without you." That was Speed. And Sparky had to grin and mumble something like, "Aw shucks, it was nothing, you were great out there, buddy," to keep tears from welling up in his eyes. Sparky threw a lanky arm around Speed's shoulders. Speed had leaned into it. Then, as he grew sleepier, rested his head on Sparky's shoulder. Sparky felt his heart pumping blood like a carburetor throttle, pounding in his chest like the rattle of an engine. Felt the warmth of Speed Racer's body next to his. Saw his best friend smile, eyes closed, perfectly content.
Sparky wanted to kiss him. Wanted to hold him like this forever. Wanted this moment to never end. Wanted to be the one waiting at the finish line. But there were some lines that shouldn't be crossed, Sparky realized. No secrets between best friends, but this had to be one.