TITLE: Candy-Coated Angels 1/1
AUTHOR: Angela, with the usual amount of GiGi help.
DISCLAIMER: If I owned them, I'd make them bow before the almight Wu-faerie,
but since someone else owns them, all I can do is abuse them like this.
DISTRIBUTION: Anyone who wants it.
DEDICATION: To Caro-chan, because she's one of the best sibblings I have, and
Gilly-chan, for putting me in a fluff frame of mind. See what happens?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Matt's a cat person, I tell you. Just one of those things.
He likes cats and ice cream. But he doesn't like Tai.
-----------------------
"Matt? Oniichan? Are you okay?" TK asked, softly stroking Gabumon's fur.
Matt tried to remain calm, but his frustrations grew steadily. After a
few minutes of still silence, he was flooded with a cascade of emotions, and
he ran.
He honestly did not know what to do, so he followed his base instincts,
which told him to run. *Hide the shame of your feelings,* His inner voice
told him cruelly.
"Fuck, why can't I control myself? I have to take care of TK! I
shouldn't care about the fact that we may never get home, that I may never
see my parents, or Yuri again."
He slumped to the ground, hugging thin knees to his chest. Laying his
chin on them, he stared out towards the horizon, watching the sun lazily make
its course.
"How long can I pull this off? The uncaring act, it sucks. I almost
wish I was Tai, he may be stupid but atleast he can express himself. He'd be
a better brother for TK, TK even admits that."
He pulled out his harmonica, looking at it intently. "This is the only
thing I have. A fucking harmonica that anyone could fucking play!"
Angrily he threw it as far as he could, listening almost contentedly to
the sound it made as it struck a rock.
"Yamato-kun?" Izzy's voice called, monotone as usual.
Matt didn't answer, hoping foolishly that Izzy would leave.
"Matt, I know you're here." Izzy called, stepping into view. "What's
wrong?"
Matt's voice cracked. "N-nothing."
"Liar." Izzy squatted on the ground, face to face with Matt. "You don't
just run off like that for nothing. TK thinks you're mad at him."
Matt sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm not mad at him, I'm just…" he
trailed off.
"Confused?" Izzy supplied.
"I guess. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to go home. I almost
wish we hadn't come here. But then, I think about all of the cool stuff
we've done, and it almost seems worth it."
"So why are you confused?" Izzy asked. "If the good outweighs the bad,
then you should be glad we're helping people. We saved the world!"
"I know, but I want to be normal. I want to go home, I want my parents
to get back together. I miss my parents, I miss my friends, I even miss
school. I miss Yuri, too."
"Who is Yuri, your girlfriend?" Izzy frowned.
"No, I've never had one. Yuri's my cat." He replied softly, almost
ashamed.
"You had a cat? What did she look like?" Izzy sat on the ground,
crossing his legs uniformly.
"She was all black, with these violet-purple eyes. When we all lived
together, Okkaa hated her, but Otou bought her for me. She's just always
been there for me, and reminds me of my life before they split up."
"Hey, when we get back, I wanna see this cat. I've never really played
with one, because my parents were allergic. So I never had a pet."
"…" Matt was silent, so silent that Izzy almost thought he had fallen
asleep. "You don't even miss your home, do you?"
"What? Why do you say that?" Izzy was shocked.
"You heard me. Do you miss your life back home at all?" Matt asked
hoarsely, eyes wide.
"I'm doing good for the world. What I feel doesn't matter in the long
run."
"That's shit. You just told me to be true to myself. Now it's your
turn. What are you thinking and feeling right now?"
Izzy seemed to tremble gently, but he did not answer. He just sat there,
thinking to himself.
'What do I feel? I know what I feel, but how can I tell him? I can't
just say that I've got all of these strange inclinations, that I can barely
look at him anymore without the blood rising in my body. He'd hate me, more
so than now. He probably just wishes I was Tai. Why wouldn't he? Tai may
be stupid seeming, but he really isn't. And what he lacks in intelligence,
he makes up for in everything else. He's brave, obviously attractive, and
can admit that he has feelings.'
"Izzy, you okay?" Matt asked, frowning. 'Whatever he's thinking, it
really seems to be depressing him. He's all but deflated visibly. I've
never seen him look so sad. He looks like TK right now, like he's going to
cry or something.'
Izzy shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. A nagging voice,
however, remained in the back. *He likes Tai, don't even try. You'll just
get hurt. Trust me, it's happened before, there's nothing stopping it from
happening again.* "I'm fine."
"So, what are you thinking? What are you feeling right now?" Matt asked,
genuinely interested.
Izzy fidgeted with his shirt, worrying the fabric between his fingers.
"I'm not really sure… There's a lot in there, but none of it makes sense."
He sighed. "Like, part of my mind is almost completely focused on the
DigiWorld, while another part is wondering what my parents are thinking, and
the main part is just…thinking."
"How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Think all of the time, like you do. I don't think I've ever seen you
relax, and just stop thinking."
"I don't understand."
"You're brain is almost a computer. It's just always going, processing
information, or just pondering, but it's always seems to be going."
'Atleast he's stopped asking what I'm feeling. For the time being.'
"Hai, I can see what you mean. I never really thought about it."
"Hey, Izzy, you never told me what you were feeling. Why are you
avoiding it?"
"I'm not avoiding it."
"Bullshit, yes you are."
"Why do you care? What is this sudden interest in me? Is Tai busy or
something?!?" Izzy turned his head, willing himself to calm down.
Matt's eyes widened, then narrowed. "What the hell do you mean, is Tai
busy? What does Tai have anything to do with this? Why does everyone seem
to think I don't care about anyone? Maybe I do care, but I just haven't
told you!"
Izzy tried to close himself off from Matt's wrath, but something managed
to break through the haze. '…Maybe I do care…' "W-what?" He allowed his
eyes to glance up hopefully.
Matt was blushing several shades of red, staring down at his hands.
"Umm…. Well, atleast I know you're listening now."
Izzy smiled, a genuine smile. "Matt, I-I know what you mean. About the
last part."
Matt smiled at Izzy, and they just looked at each other, lost in a world
of simplistic joy.
AUTHOR: Angela, with the usual amount of GiGi help.
DISCLAIMER: If I owned them, I'd make them bow before the almight Wu-faerie,
but since someone else owns them, all I can do is abuse them like this.
DISTRIBUTION: Anyone who wants it.
DEDICATION: To Caro-chan, because she's one of the best sibblings I have, and
Gilly-chan, for putting me in a fluff frame of mind. See what happens?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Matt's a cat person, I tell you. Just one of those things.
He likes cats and ice cream. But he doesn't like Tai.
-----------------------
"Matt? Oniichan? Are you okay?" TK asked, softly stroking Gabumon's fur.
Matt tried to remain calm, but his frustrations grew steadily. After a
few minutes of still silence, he was flooded with a cascade of emotions, and
he ran.
He honestly did not know what to do, so he followed his base instincts,
which told him to run. *Hide the shame of your feelings,* His inner voice
told him cruelly.
"Fuck, why can't I control myself? I have to take care of TK! I
shouldn't care about the fact that we may never get home, that I may never
see my parents, or Yuri again."
He slumped to the ground, hugging thin knees to his chest. Laying his
chin on them, he stared out towards the horizon, watching the sun lazily make
its course.
"How long can I pull this off? The uncaring act, it sucks. I almost
wish I was Tai, he may be stupid but atleast he can express himself. He'd be
a better brother for TK, TK even admits that."
He pulled out his harmonica, looking at it intently. "This is the only
thing I have. A fucking harmonica that anyone could fucking play!"
Angrily he threw it as far as he could, listening almost contentedly to
the sound it made as it struck a rock.
"Yamato-kun?" Izzy's voice called, monotone as usual.
Matt didn't answer, hoping foolishly that Izzy would leave.
"Matt, I know you're here." Izzy called, stepping into view. "What's
wrong?"
Matt's voice cracked. "N-nothing."
"Liar." Izzy squatted on the ground, face to face with Matt. "You don't
just run off like that for nothing. TK thinks you're mad at him."
Matt sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm not mad at him, I'm just…" he
trailed off.
"Confused?" Izzy supplied.
"I guess. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to go home. I almost
wish we hadn't come here. But then, I think about all of the cool stuff
we've done, and it almost seems worth it."
"So why are you confused?" Izzy asked. "If the good outweighs the bad,
then you should be glad we're helping people. We saved the world!"
"I know, but I want to be normal. I want to go home, I want my parents
to get back together. I miss my parents, I miss my friends, I even miss
school. I miss Yuri, too."
"Who is Yuri, your girlfriend?" Izzy frowned.
"No, I've never had one. Yuri's my cat." He replied softly, almost
ashamed.
"You had a cat? What did she look like?" Izzy sat on the ground,
crossing his legs uniformly.
"She was all black, with these violet-purple eyes. When we all lived
together, Okkaa hated her, but Otou bought her for me. She's just always
been there for me, and reminds me of my life before they split up."
"Hey, when we get back, I wanna see this cat. I've never really played
with one, because my parents were allergic. So I never had a pet."
"…" Matt was silent, so silent that Izzy almost thought he had fallen
asleep. "You don't even miss your home, do you?"
"What? Why do you say that?" Izzy was shocked.
"You heard me. Do you miss your life back home at all?" Matt asked
hoarsely, eyes wide.
"I'm doing good for the world. What I feel doesn't matter in the long
run."
"That's shit. You just told me to be true to myself. Now it's your
turn. What are you thinking and feeling right now?"
Izzy seemed to tremble gently, but he did not answer. He just sat there,
thinking to himself.
'What do I feel? I know what I feel, but how can I tell him? I can't
just say that I've got all of these strange inclinations, that I can barely
look at him anymore without the blood rising in my body. He'd hate me, more
so than now. He probably just wishes I was Tai. Why wouldn't he? Tai may
be stupid seeming, but he really isn't. And what he lacks in intelligence,
he makes up for in everything else. He's brave, obviously attractive, and
can admit that he has feelings.'
"Izzy, you okay?" Matt asked, frowning. 'Whatever he's thinking, it
really seems to be depressing him. He's all but deflated visibly. I've
never seen him look so sad. He looks like TK right now, like he's going to
cry or something.'
Izzy shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. A nagging voice,
however, remained in the back. *He likes Tai, don't even try. You'll just
get hurt. Trust me, it's happened before, there's nothing stopping it from
happening again.* "I'm fine."
"So, what are you thinking? What are you feeling right now?" Matt asked,
genuinely interested.
Izzy fidgeted with his shirt, worrying the fabric between his fingers.
"I'm not really sure… There's a lot in there, but none of it makes sense."
He sighed. "Like, part of my mind is almost completely focused on the
DigiWorld, while another part is wondering what my parents are thinking, and
the main part is just…thinking."
"How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Think all of the time, like you do. I don't think I've ever seen you
relax, and just stop thinking."
"I don't understand."
"You're brain is almost a computer. It's just always going, processing
information, or just pondering, but it's always seems to be going."
'Atleast he's stopped asking what I'm feeling. For the time being.'
"Hai, I can see what you mean. I never really thought about it."
"Hey, Izzy, you never told me what you were feeling. Why are you
avoiding it?"
"I'm not avoiding it."
"Bullshit, yes you are."
"Why do you care? What is this sudden interest in me? Is Tai busy or
something?!?" Izzy turned his head, willing himself to calm down.
Matt's eyes widened, then narrowed. "What the hell do you mean, is Tai
busy? What does Tai have anything to do with this? Why does everyone seem
to think I don't care about anyone? Maybe I do care, but I just haven't
told you!"
Izzy tried to close himself off from Matt's wrath, but something managed
to break through the haze. '…Maybe I do care…' "W-what?" He allowed his
eyes to glance up hopefully.
Matt was blushing several shades of red, staring down at his hands.
"Umm…. Well, atleast I know you're listening now."
Izzy smiled, a genuine smile. "Matt, I-I know what you mean. About the
last part."
Matt smiled at Izzy, and they just looked at each other, lost in a world
of simplistic joy.