Lily Evans and the misfortunate green hair incident.
Disclaimer - I do not own any of the Harry Potter world.
"My name is Lily Evans," I begin, my trembling voice betraying my nerves, "and I am not perfect". My hands are vices clutching anxiously at the sink for support: "My sister thinks being magical is a highly contagious, dangerous disease and hence hasn't spoken to me since '71. My best friend became a death eater and called me a mudblood. I am extremely hot headed which gets me into ridiculous arguments and I am too proud," I pause, wincing at the thought, "to admit I may have a teensy crush on," my mouth freezes as I attempt to say the name. It comes out as a minute whimper: "James".
This year, James had unexpectedly stopped asking me out altogether. No more requests to accompany him on Hogsmeade visits, no more pleads to discreetly visit his bed. Nothing. Nada. Zilch! I sigh angrily, stuffing my face in my palms. I've done it now… ruined any chances of him ever liking me again! I groan loudly, the primitive sound muffled by my hands.
"I'm head girl, which resulted in me being gifted with a private dorm with James," I continue breathlessly, growing increasingly hysterical with each word, "and now I have green hair and no-one else to help fix it!" I glance in the mirror uneasily, gingerly touching a piece of my bushy, lime green mane. I have no choice, I realise, huffing defeatedly, I have to ask him for help.
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BANG! Holy shit who is knocking at my door? I'm startled awake. I lunge for my glasses, scrambling blindly to locate them through the darkness of my unlit room. I knock over my cup of water. The shrill clap of smashing glass breaks the uneasy silence like an antique clock chime resonating through an abandoned home. I can hear the gush of liquid flowing from the shattered mug. It is spilling over my bedside table and pooling on the floor. I need to pee. My hands meet a hard object: My glasses! I whack them on triumphantly. AHH! I cry with bewilderment, my left eye weeping from the sudden attack. My quill! I gasp in exasperation, using a hand to stem the flow of tears streaming from the self-inflicted wound. BANG, BANG, BANG! I freeze, suddenly reminded of the cause of my sudden arousal.
"Potter, are you there?" A timid voice whispers warily, "Potter wake up, I need you right now!"
I would recognise that voice anywhere. I always knew this day would come. Lily needs some James Potter action, I rejoice with a small, gleeful jig. I glance down at my chest, covered by a lovely knitted crimson sweater, embellished with a golden 'J' in the centre. I shrug it off, swiftly stuffing it under the bed. Sorry Mum. I quickly puff a small sample of breath in my palm.
"Potter!" The voice exclaims impatiently and I clamber clumsily from the bed. I pause in the doorway, tousling my unruly hair and seductively leaning an arm on the doorway. I give myself a quick once-over, and finally open the door.
"Lily," I utter with a sultry groan, "I knew it would only be a matter of time before you surrendered to the sweet song of yo— MERLIN'S BEARD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?"
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I stand pathetically in the doorway of my sworn enemy, also known as possibly my one and only true love, as he examines the hideous monstrosity that is upon my head.
"Straightening charm gone wrong?" I offer woefully, my voice embarrassingly high-pitched.
"Well err.. ahh did yo- hmmm.." He spluttered nonsensically, his eyes glued to my crazed green locks."Did you try washing it out?" He suggests in a timid whisper, scratching his head feebly.
I couldn't help it, being admittedly hot-headed and all. I lost it, along with all hope that James Potter would ever ask me out again: "OF COURSE I HAVE TRIED WASHING IT OUT! I HAVE TRIED EVERY MAGICAL AND NON-MAGICAL SOLUTION I COULD THINK OF! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M HERE?" I cry with exasperation.
"Sorry, sorry…" James answers, glancing around the room helplessly.
"Potter, please," I repeat, my voice softer. I glance at him, my eyes pleading. He sighs and swiftly glances at the clock.
"Okay, okay. We have approximately one hour until our first class. Assuming you don't want to miss any of our lessons, that is?" James quizzes, his brow arched cheekily, checking on my reaction to the latter. I nod rapidly.
"We have sixty minutes to locate a professor and find a quick solution to this… issue. But first," He announces, grabbing a sweater and scarf, "we must disguise you to prevent anyone from see- well, you know."
He pushes his sweater over my head and bundles my hair in the hoodie. He wraps the scarf tightly around my neck and steps back to examine his work. He promptly reaches towards his quidditch gear, ruffling around the cluttered pile until finally pulling out his desired object.
"Quidditch glasses?" I question warily as he roughly fits them around my head.
"Noone will recognise you now!" He declares triumphantly, pushing me to the closest mirror.
I study the image. The person before me is wrapped in a black hoodie, their face concealed by a crimson scarf, their eyes shielded by large goggles. Their bottom half wears hot pink pyjama pants decorated with a cartoon cupcake pattern, their bare legs and feet at odds with the entirely concealed upper half.
"I look like an idiot," I grumble quietly, as James pushes me towards the exit of the heads dorm.
"Lets move, soldier!" He croons, determinedly.
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Stay tuned for the next chapter of Lily Evans and the misfortunate green hair incident!
What will the arousing Hogwarts student body think of a shirtless James Potter and his currently unidentified friend roaming the grounds?
Will Lily finally admit to James of her growing feelings for him?
Will James explain to Lily why he has stopped asking her out?
And most importantly, will Lily's hair ever be the same again?
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