Discaimer: I do not own anything from One Piece or Jeremy Kyle
This is a sequel to 'The Cavendish Show:Does My Soul Mate Have A Son!' but you don't have to read the first one to understand this. Cavendish is basically Jeremy Kyle thanks to Robin's antics. This story is also more serious than the first, maybe because it was a request and Mihawk is present, but I hope it's still a little funny. For those interested, the full title of this story is 'Years Apart, His Dream is to Surpass the Man Who Could be His Father'
I'd like to thank Lazy Ninja Pirate for the request! Please follow and review if you like the first chapter :)
Inside a dark castle, an upbeat tune, joined by applause, started to play in one of the larger rooms. Perona intently stared at the source with her arms wrapped around her large teddy and her small, hanging, chin resting on the soft toy's head. She loved The Cavendish Show. It was her guilty pleasure watching frosty family feuds, atrocious affair accusations and most of all: romantic reunions. Perona liked watching the love between boyfriends and girlfriends that caused them to reconcile their differences. However, what she enjoyed watching most was the love between a parent and a child. Those moments when the presenter announces 'you are the baby's father' can be the warmest moments in Perona's day.
She had completely blocked out the sound of pages turning during the first part of the episode. Her eyes were beginning to feel dry from the lack of them blinking. At the sight of Cavendish riding on his white horse, white writing and phone numbers scrolling down the TV screen, and the horse galloping across a beach and not inside the studio, Perona's mind began to register the signs of the oncoming adverts.
Luckily for her, this episode was a recording and she could fast forward past the them. Her hand readily grabbed the remote. "Horo-horo-horo-horo!" Perona cackled almost evilly as the adverts flew past the small TV screen. A moody humph warned her that she was laughing too loud for someone's liking. Silencing herself a little, the girl turned to the quiet man sitting on the other side of the couch. As usual, he had left his fancy hat on the desk beside him and his nose was buried in today's newspaper.
Although Perona rarely got a glance of eye contact from the serious man during her visits to his castle, the girl knew without a doubt that he somewhat enjoyed her presence. Dracule Mihawk showed his affection in his own, subtle, way. One of these ways was allowing Perona to take out an old TV from an unused room and set it up in his warm living room. And even though he was vocally unenthusiastic to record the girl's favourite shows, while she was away, he always did the action. As a consequence, Perona returned to the castle more often and stayed longer.
"Thanks Mihawk-sama," Perona said quietly while pressing her index fingers together. She felt her cheeks flush and tried to hold down any more blushing. It couldn't be helped that she felt embarrassed. As long as he understood her gratitude for doing this small thing for her, she could go back to watching her show. Mihawk immediately, yet calmly, looked up at her with an eyebrow raised. "For recording the episodes," Perona answered the unspoken question.
With a nod, he slowly looked back down at his newspaper. When he turned to the next page, Perona was sure that was the end of her embarrassment. She was wrong. "I only do it to stop your needless talking. Sadly, I have to suffer from that blonde's incessant voice instead."
"Huh?!" Perona growled, completely infuriated. She had kindly thanked him and he insulted her in return? Why did she bother sometimes with such idiotic, ungrateful and rude swordsmen! She got no respect in this castle.
Once again seeing the white horse gallop across the screen, Perona decided to focus her attention on her show again. "Cavendish's pony is so cute!" she exclaimed in an effort to annoy her company. She barely heard the host read the contact details for viewers to use if they wanted to be guests on his show. The young girl dreamily sighed.
"I wish I could be a guest."
"Honestly, this show is atrocious," Mihawk's voice shot through the room. "The only reason it's still on air is because of Crocodile's and Doflamingo's fiasco. It's been garbage ever since. You shouldn't want to be associated with it."
Perona's eyes widened. Digesting the fact that Mihawk had spoken so many words in little time, the pink haired girl put her thinking hat on. She had spent years with Gecko Moria and Dr Hogback who both thought they were very smart and cunning. However, upon meeting Mihawk, Perona quickly learned they weren't anything special. He was a careful warlord who wouldn't say such things to hurt her feelings. There must be more to his words.
After minutes of pondering and staring into space, a sly smile crossed Perona's face. "Old man?"
"Don't call me old man," he replied without looking up. Perona wondered if he was reading at all.
"Crocodile and Doflamingo were once warlords like you. So if you went on the show, would that episode not be considered garbage?"
A short pause. "Perhaps…"
Bingo! Perona thought with laughter erupting from her mouth and she levitated above the couch. The girl needed to take a deep breath before she continued. It took a while for her laughter to settle. She was so happy.
"Hypothetically, horo-horo-horo, if you were to go on the show, what would it be about? I mean do you have any family feuds? Or do you think someone like Red-Hair has lied to you? Mihawk-sama, do you suspect of having a love child? Horo-horo-horo-horo!" Finally the man reacted by closing his newspaper. Perona excitedly watched him as he picked up his hat and swiftly walked towards the door. "Huh, Mihawk? You think you're a father? Horo…"
"I'm going to bed," the swordsman announced before closing the door behind him and leaving the poor girl's imagination to run wild.
Serious and gloomy Dracule Mihawk. In a bed with a woman. Possible baby daddy.
It was shocking to Perona that Mihawk had even hinted such a thing to her. The man would surely die carrying hundreds of secrets to his grave; he was trustworthy but secretive. Yet he was prepared to go on TV and reveal this possible secret. And he was baiting Perona to make the call like it was some sort of pizza delivery. How odd of him. Oh well, she better get to work. She needed to make a call.
It wasn't necessary to wait for the second part of the episode to end to find out the den den mushi number. She had watched so many episodes intently that it was memorised into her skull for forever. Mihawk's den den mushi was easily found on his desk.
"Good evening, you have reached The Cavendish Show, how may I help you?" a familiar woman's voice answered.
"Hello…so this is the number for The Cavendish Show?" Perona shyly responded, unsure of herself.
"Indeed. Are you phoning for general therapy, a lie detector, a DNA test…all above?"
"Ah-ah-ha-a DNA test!" she stuttered.
"I understand. Who's being tested and for what sort of relation is the test detecting?"
Perona took a second to answer this. It actually surprised her how quickly she made the decision and how confident she suddenly felt about it. "A father and son DNA test for warlord Dracule Mihawk, greatest swordsman in the world, and pirate hunter Roronoa Zoro, the future greatest swordsman in the world."
The clock chimed, alerting those within ear-shot that another pitiful hour had passed by. A pair of desperate eyes watched as a hand picked up a glass, only to put it down on the table again.
"More wine," Mihawk curtly asked.
Perona's eyes went ablaze as hot exasperation was getting to her. She specifically got up early to deal with this stubborn man but she had no plan on how to deal with him. He knew that. They'd been sitting in his dining room for ages now, having their quiet showdown. At first Perona was very enthusiastic to convince Mihawk to do as she wished but like most things in life, it was harder than she thought.
"I'll fill your glass, I'll never let it be empty ever again under my watch, ever, if Mihawk-sama agrees to leave. Now…or in 5 minutes…5 minutes max!" Perona declared, straightening her broken posture and determination filling her eyes as she slammed her hands on the table.
The warlord appeared to be considering this once-in-a-lifetime offer of having a proper houseguest. In other words: having a maid. His yellow hawk eyes studied the girl's tired black pair, searching for any weakness. He wouldn't be able to find any. Clearly she was desperate. She'd agree to any other conditions he made.
Perona felt certain she had finally got him. Of course, wine was his weak spot! Big white teeth beamed in early victory. She wouldn't've cared if she had signed a deal with the devil; she was going to be a guest on The Cavendish Show! Everyone was going to see her cute new dress and she had changed her perfume for the gorgeous presenter's benefit. The only thing she wasn't sure on was whether to bring her teddy or not. Would it be embarrassing? But she took him everywhere with her, what if his feelings got hurt? She knew he didn't really have feelings…but she'd still feel bad. It was perhaps too early to know the right decision.
"We'll leave in 5 minutes so you better be ready," Perona announced happily, pointing at the grandfather clock.
"No. We will not." Mihawk calmly replied, picking up his glass before Perona's hands came closer to it. He burst out of his seat. However, Perona quickly stood in front of him.
"Oh, okay then. We'll go in 10 minutes and no later!" She tried to swipe the glass but it evaded her reach again. As did Mihawk. Perona didn't even see him move, it was like he teleported past the doorway. At least he wasn't running to his wine cellar, although his stride was so fast. Perona had to run to keep up. "Mihawk-sama, we made a deal."
"You seem to misunderstand; you made an offer and this is my response. I will refill my own glass," Mihawk called.
"N-no you did that eye thing! You totally agreed!" the girl's pace increased but so did her opponent's. How could he walk so fast? "Stop fooling around! If we don't leave now we'll miss the show! You really need to buy a faster boat - it's irresponsible. We're already late…" He gave no response. "If you can't do this for yourself, then do it for him- your possible son! He's going to suffer from major abandonment issues and it'll be all your fault because you're an alcoholic!" Still no response. She got down on her knees in prayer. "If you can't do this for him, then do it for me. Please Mihawk-sama, I really wanna see Cavendish's cute pony!"
The girl felt as if she had been rambling to a wall. A very thick wall. The warlord didn't react to a word she said. Her resolve had been stamped out by shrieking silence. The killing blow being the sight of Mihawk happily picking his bottle of vintage wine. He swiftly walked past a defeated Perona, who looked like a victim of her own self-loathing attack. If Mihawk felt guilt, he didn't show it.
So deep in depression, the girl didn't hear the doorbell ring or Mihawk's order for her to answer it. However, she did hear the "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRD BRAIN!" and the sound of broken glass, closely followed by a very serious "It's not my birthday."
Perona had a sneaky suspicion she knew who had arrived. Picking her miserable self up from the stone floor, the ghost princess stumbled towards the area of chaos. Sure enough, her suspicions were proven right. A certain yonko had his arm slung around an uncomfortable Mihawk's neck. Shanks looked too friendly to call whatever Perona was seeing as bickering. And Mihawk was being his usual 'polite' self. It was clear to anyone watching that the two were familiar and more than mere acquaintances.
"What are you doing here? And stop insisting it's my birthday. It's not," Mihawk repeated, pushing the arm off his shoulder. It was a fair question. In Perona's time staying at the castle, she had never met Red Hair. The man seemed like the type to always make a loud entrance. There must be an important reason for his visit.
"Fine…" Shanks muttered, his facial expression very similar to Straw Hat when he's annoyed. Very quickly he seemed to cheer up though and replaced his pout with a smug look. "I'm here because a little birdy asked me for a favour. So whether you like it or not, you two are coming aboard my ship."
Mihawk's eyes widened and he looked around the room, probably for his sword. "Is this about Blackbeard? I should've known he was going to-,"
"-Woah, slow down there Hawky," Shanks quickly interrupted with an apologetic look. "My visit has nothing to do with Blackbeard. But it's just as important."
"What is it then? And by any chance, do we have all day to waste guessing?"
"Oh loosen up!" Shanks said brightly, giving his host a playful shove. Suddenly his demeanour changed to somewhat serious as he whispered "I was asked to help Perona take you to The Cavendish Show by The Producer."
Mihawk rolled his eyes. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"
Perona felt daggers stab her in the heart. Yes he was supposed to be super impressed! She was torn between wanting to giggle, scream and cry all at the same time and the mix result was quite ugly. She was not worthy to be noticed by The Producer.
"Of course someone of your tastes wouldn't understand how cool the producer mystery is," Shanks muttered. Their reactions only irritated the warlord. Mihawk quietly told his new guest to close the door on his way out.
"Don't you want to find out the truth?" Perona finally shouted. The two men exchanged confused glances. "About you and Zoro duh! Although I'd love to find out who the mystery producer is too, horo-horo-horo…" The girl had started blushing again at the thought of meeting people who lived inside the small TV box. She felt so star struck.
"I'm not going," Mihawk vowed before walking away from this madness. "Make lunch, I'll be reading in my study. I warn you not to disturb me anymore with this garbage."
Perona's face fell. Garbage? Didn't Mihawk hint that he'd go on the show to help fulfil her dream? He said that it probably wouldn't be garbage if he was around and that got her excited. He had showed her a dream menu and just told her they didn't serve it anymore. That she couldn't have it. At first, Perona thought Mihawk was being stubborn out of pride but now she knew it was because of something else.
"You coward!" Perona shouted across the castle, confident that Hawk-Eye would be able to hear. "And you're an idiot, a cowardly idiot!"
"Listen, I know you're disappointed with Hawky but I'm not sure being angry at him like that is the best way little girl," Shanks said, placing his only hand on her shoulder and trying to catch her eyes.
However, Ghost Princess Perona was way too angry to listen. In her heart, she felt certain that her anger was the only way. She surprised the yonko when her body fell into his arms and seemingly fainted, then to simply see her murderous ghost form stomp out. The girl didn't react to his astonishment or his uncertainness on whether to take her physical body with them to wherever her ghost body was flying to or not. He decided to take the body.
Perona easily went through the study door. Shanks' eyebrows flew up at the sound of a crash when the girl's voice shouted 'Negative Hollow' and her evil laughter following behind it.
Unprepared to see what was through the door, Shanks carefully propped Perona's physical body against the wall like a true gentleman and then he turned the handle. It made a slight creek at the pressure.
In the room, Perona was looking happily over a bent down Mihawk. Like the loyal friend he was, Shanks immediately went to his friend's side.
"What did I say before?" Shank's glared at her.
"Don't know, don't care Red Hair," Perona honestly replied. "Now pick up Mr Grumpy and meet me at your ship while I go to get something. Your ship better be fast Red Hair."
With those kind words, the pink-haired girl left the two boys.
As far as Shanks could tell, a physical altercation hadn't taken place. But that didn't explain why Mihawk refused to separate himself from the floor. In the end, Red Hair had to be quite forceful. His ship might be faster than Mihawk's small boat but it wasn't like they had the time to cry on the floor all day.
"Come on buddy," the yonko started to say when he had Mihawk leaning against his frame for support. "This will all be over before you know it."
Their walk to the ship was painfully slow and silent. Shanks could actually feel his shoulder getting damp from Mihawk's silent tears. The pirate felt hopeful when the swordsman called his name. Honestly, he shouldn't have been expecting a positive response.
"Red Hair…"
"Yeah buddy?"
"When we get to sea…let this useless body of mine drown in the deepest parts of the ocean so I won't burden anyone ever again…What am I saying? I'm not even good enough to be eaten by the most wretched of fish…"
That night Shanks had to watch Mihawk and Perona's actions very carefully.