Disclaimer:I own noting. Star Wars was created by George Lucas.
A/N (PLEASE READ): This was written simply as part of a holiday story-trade for my sister. I fully admit that I have no detailed knowledge of Star Wars. The only part of the fandom I know, at all. is the original trilogy of movies - and the bits I grabbed. as they suited my fancy, from the wiki. So, please just think of this as a possible future from that point - and limit critiques based upon my divergences from the actual Star Wars cannon.
"He'd – we'd – I'd never want to do anything like that," the words uncharacteristically trip over each other out of his mouth and his eyes dart away from her. Han runs his hand through hair already messy from the night in bed and his mood abruptly shifts from confusion to anger. He rolls over away from her and sits up, on the very edge of the mattress, whole body radiating tension. "Why would you even say something like that, Leia?"
She does not move to follow her husband, (does not let it show how cold she now feels so abruptly bereft of his solid presence intertwined with hers) her body stays lying supine and lazy in a direct counter to him, her usually updone hair in a pool on the pillow around her head. But if he turned to look at her he would know different, would instantly see how much her internal feelings bely how she appears - Leia is sure her eyes are practically on fire with holding back her own words, doesn't know how he can't feel the heat of them on him as she stares daggers into his back.
But Leia knew he wouldn't give easy (she doesn't truly think she would love him nearly as much – wouldn't have fallen for him as hard and fast - if he weren't this stubborn). And she even has an early seed of hope for this all working out as she planned from what the what he accidentally blurted (the way he, himself, came third in that stuttering refutation) when she had stated her intent.
The stalemate does not last long between them and he finally looks over his shoulder, sighs, (and mutters to himself, "She's so fucking hot when she's angry" – which she pretends not to hear but is secretly utterly pleased by) and rejoins her lying back upon their bed again, arms wrapped tightly around her.
So very close again, looking him straight in the eye, she whispers, "Just because we chose each other never meant you had to give everyone else up, Han. I never asked that of you."
She can read irritation in the tightness of his jaw but he calms himself and the touch of his callused hand is gentle as he traces her face. "You're my wife now – my family. I love you, Leia," he says in a soft way that she knows is meant to placate her – melt her – and consequently table this conversation.
But she is far from done with this topic (is just about as stubborn as her darling husband) and remains unmoved. "Whether you love me has nothing to do with it," she says firmly. "I am not questioning that, Han. What I am saying is that you knew Chewie long before you met me – and that means something too. If anything I should come second."
And telltale frustration rears up again, Han tries to pull away but this time she doesn't remain cool and her hands shoot to grab him ending up twisted tightly, almost roughly, in his hair, anchoring him down firmly and causing his head to tilt at a particular angle. He is quite slow to return to their previous eye contact – taking a meandering path across her body (she was actually surprised their nudity hadn't been a point of distraction before this) enjoying her assets on display. And when brown and blue meet again there is a spark in his eye and that smirk on his face - it takes a minor miracle of her own will power not to give into that invitation, to hold onto the longer game here.
"You could never come second, Princess," he whispers, all swagger, going in for the kiss.
"I'm talking about love, Han - and equal isn't second," she whispers back against his lips.
He tries to pull away a third time, clearly not wanting to have this conversation, going on instinct she simply wraps her leg around his waist. Han sucks in a breath at the sudden unexpected intimate contact. She pushes her advantage, pulling her body flush against his and then yanking his head until she can hiss straight in his ear, "Listen, just listen to me. You can't tell me it hasn't felt wrong to you to live this way. Day in and day out without him simply around when-"
Not to be totally out done Han rolls his hips, making her breath hitch and interrupting her mid sentence. "I knew when I asked you to marry me that some things would be different. I was a goddam smuggler, Princess."
She narrows her eyes at him. "I didn't say different Han I said wrong. Stop for a second and imagine how he must feel – all by himself…."
Han looks down abruptly(not at her breast, this time, but simply avoiding eye contact suddenly) at the comment.
"…you have thought about it," she says with an oddly sinking clarity.
"Of course I have," he snaps but it is easy to hold her tongue because she can tell the anger isn't directed at her, but at himself. Can read, so very clearly his quilt and confusion over this.
"Of course I have," he repeats, almost a sigh, "– but it just isn't right," his eyes travel farther down, and his hands smooth over her stomach. She looks as well, struck by the image of his large hands spread wide over her protruding belly. "Chewie has his own place – he doesn't need to live here, Leia. We're a family," Han says. "This is my family now - this is all I need."
Leia is slow to look up, slow to answer this – but she does, because she loves Han. She loves him so very much, but it is only one kind of love – and she has seen so many kinds in this universe and they are all equally important. All love.
Han and Chewie flew together for years, for years they were the only important people in each other's world. Just because she was married to the man, why would she try to put herself between them, her bond above theirs? Why would she even want to try and do such a thing?
She does not understand why Han is fighting this so much – but perhaps this is one of those things where she will have to be strong for him. Work to make him see.
So, for now Leia simply places her hands over his and says quietly, "Family isn't always blood." (Something they both know quite well.) But she leaves it at that – kissing him before he can reply.
And Han is more than happy to take her lead in this change of subject.
Leia had solidified her thoughts on this after speaking to Luke about the issue - and actually her twin is one of the first she thinks of to talk to. Because now a days, she finds that with her brother, she is far more comfortable when they don't have to rely on small talk – are dealing with common people and problems.
Otherwise, it tends to get a bit uncomfortable – they still have issues with family things: the different parents they were left with when they were children (and the disparate experiences they had because of it), how they both see their father now (she still cannot let go of her torture and interrogation at his hands. Can still see when she closes her eyes Alderaan being destroyed. She never had the humanizing moments with him that Luke did and doesn't think she will ever let go of that part of her that thinks of him as a villain), and curiosity over their mother.
And neither wants to say things that will make the other angry – or really worse, hurt them. But they are left with all of this baggage, that isn't really theirs, that they still have to learn to navigate.
(And Leia would never wish her people to live that horror again, but on a highly personal level, when they were at war with the Empire many of her relationships were a lot less complicated to navigate.)
Luke is very at peace with himself though. Teaching others in the Force and occasionally going on missions. She likes to talk to him because he gives advice of a sort she does not expect, has an opinion often that comes from a place of both an odd sort of innocence (because for all of his adventure the past few years, at heart, Luke is still a boy who grew up as a moisture farmer on Tatooine) and wisdom.
And she can tell that, despite his now galaxy wide reputation of heroism, he takes a sort of surprised pride from her coming to ask him things – which makes her want to keep returning. Leia also likes keeping this connection to him, doesn't want to drift apart just because they don't have phasers fireing at them at the moment. When the baby is born, she wants to bring her child to run around at this peaceful school of his and laugh at her brother when he tries to catch them.
But when she had spoken to him about this - about how different Han seemed when he was away from Chewbecca (how she could almost track the amount of days it had been since they had seen each other by his general demeanor), Luke had suggested killing two birds with one stone – having the Wookie live with them.
Because another thing that had been bothering her badly ever since they had all settled into permanent residences, was how very big the house given to Han and her was. It was supposedly fitting because of her station – she was both a Princess and a Senator now (with talk brewing of making her Chief of State of the New Republic as well) but it frankly made her uncomfortable after the years of being in the field with the Rebel Alliance. She had grown far more used to barracks, a sleeping pod in a ship, a cot, or simply some sheets on the ground.
She would very much like to have more people living in the huge space, like it to feel like a home. Leia remembers how she barely noticed how large the buildings she lived in as a child were because they were always bustling with people – friends, family and business associates.
Leia does not want to raise her child in as much of a political environment as she grew, but to some extent it can't be helped. And she needs to be surrounded by people who will protect and love this kid no matter what.
Chewie will do that – she has no doubt.
When she walks through the door the next day, it is to see both a familiar tousled head and a familiar Wookie on the couch. Both brunettes are leaning against each other, laughing loudly over something.
After a greeting to the two, she gives him a significant look to her husband complete with an utterly non-subtle raising of her eye brows on her way into the kitchen. But Han still ignores these signals, purposefully walking past her.
So Leia gives a huff of frustration and turns into bed early that night. (Rather heavily pregnant, up on her feet all day, dealing with politicians - she honestly has no patience for this at the moment.) And is so deeply asleep that she does not even wake when he crawls in next to her at what was probably some un-godly hour.
It does mean though, that she wakes rather early and stumbles into the kitchen to be startled by an, obviously hung-over, familiar Wookie puttering around. His usual technical expertise apparently gone at this hour while still feeling the previous night's drinking.
Leia however, instantly feels more awake (and that is only partially from turning a corner to nearly run into someone nearly twice her mass – even pregnant). No one would ever accuse her of shying away from confrontation, and this opportunity for a one-on-one conversation is to good to pass up.
And after all, in the end of their previous discussion, Han had not really disputed the necessity of his relationship with Chewie - or even truly disagreed with her purposed course of action. He simply seemed to want family very badly and be uncomfortable with broaching the subject with his best friend. (Afraid, perhaps of messing up something that he knew worked - and simply not letting himself look at the ways it wasn't anymore.)
She was not encumbered by these things.
But she is hampered in other ways. Leia freely admits that she is still very much in the learning process when it comes to communicating with Chewie. She doesn't know his language - and their very different anatomy make him unable to speak hers. So talking with him, when Han isn't around. always falls to gestures, context clues, and distinguishing what he means by the tones of the sounds he makes.
And just now, he makes a low pitched groan and motions towards the door, makes as if to walk out right away.
Leia quickly grabs for his large, furry, arm, obviously startling him with the contact. "No, Chewie, stay – you're obviously not feeling great. I'm about to make breakfast anyway," she says looking up at him. "You know you always feel better after you eat," she teases and he grumbles but, after she lets go of his arm, he follows her into the kitchen.
"Actually Chewie," Leia says as casually as possible as she opens the fridge and pulls items out.; cracks egg after egg into a pan, " you can always stay here. Not just the night either. I honestly mean all the time."
She looks over because he isn't making a sound. His big form towers over her, even sitting down on the stool across the counter - but she feels oddly strong in this moment, can sense how uncertain he is - has such an urge to comfort him.
"We've talked," she continues, flipping things when necessary so they don't burn; putting in toast absentmindedly, "- and Han doesn't say it outright but you know how he is about admitting these sorts of things. It's always to the last moment possible with him. But from what he did say the other night, I know – for some reason - he thinks you wouldn't want to."
"Would you? Would you live with us?" she asks directly as she sets a large portion down in front of him (some, of course being for herself) not beating around the bush. Because Leia has no time for cowardice being renamed subtlety just to save face, gets tired with it in her work and will not stand it in her personal life.
He responds with a trilling tone that is questioning in nature - and his eyes on her stomach let her know what the inquiry is about.
"Don't be absurd," she snaps, sitting down on her own stool and stabbing a fork into some eggs. "There is plenty of room here for you with the baby coming. In fact I would welcome someone else around this stupidly large house with a child on the way - it's safer."
They eat in silence for a while then, around when she is finishing up, she checks the time, knows she must say whatever needs to be said now. So, after putting her dishes in the sink and washing her hands, Leia turns and looks at him. Just takes him in, sitting there eating in her kitchen for a moment – it fits, it works - they really can do this.
This could so easily be part of her daily routine; waking up early and having a quiet breakfast with Chewie before a long day at the building of the New Republic. It is peaceful in a way, the way they talk - and it makes her have to actually watch him, to concentrate on little movements and big gestures alike.
He looks up, noticing her staring and she just smiles before saying. "I can see the difference - in both of you when you are separated. You've been a pair for so long, there is no reason why that should suddenly end. You don't stop loving someone like that - at least I should hope not," she snorts.
Her eyes catch the time again and she gives a start. "Look, Chewie, I have to get to work . Just think about it alright?"
He nods – and she is left feeling like the conversation went rather well.
In the end, she does not know how they settle it amongst each other – but she definitely made the right choice to talk to Chewbaca, to make the offer directly to him. He is not the sort to keep things to himself and they must have had the talk as soon as Han woke up (that is unless he was just shaken awake right after she left – which is also a distinct possibility).
Because when she gets home again Chewie is still there – and instead of about to go back to his apartment, she can hear from down the hall, excited talk about adjustments to be made to certain rooms for him.
Walking over to the area of the house the boys are in, she gets a trill of greeting (that she almost recognizes) from a certain Wookie and is excitedly embraced and kissed passionately by her husband. When they break apart he is smiling widely; his hands slide down automatically to caress her pregnant belly and he is just so very happy.
There is a certain cockiness to his grin, a brightness to his eyes – just a certain Han-ness that is very present. And she feels a bit (well, perhaps more than just a bit) smug over this fact.
Han starts talking about an area where they could connect two smaller rooms to make a larger living space near the kitchen. But then moves on to pointing out possibilities for creating a work room to keep separate from the kid, where Chewie could freely use a welding torch to modify bots, or any other mechanical tinkering the two of them might do. (And she has no doubt of their capability – after all, that ship so dear to them, is not how a Millennium Falcon looks right out of the factory.)
Over his head she shares a knowing smile with Chewbacca – this is what she wanted. This happiness = this warm, content, safe, feeling when she gets home.
This is their family.