Title: Lost to Believe
© Abbie Layne
Dedication: Angel, you've been begging and begging me to write a MSR. Which could either mean you think I'm a brilliant writer or you want to see how I veiw their relationship. I hope it's both. Yet, whichever it may be, this is for you, kimosabe!
Lost to Believe
Wordless. That's how I feel.
My dreams are consumed by something I can't describe. Everywhere I turn. I look forward to them, tho. They're an outlet to what I can't bring myself to admit.
I want to, tho! So badly.
My phone rings in the middle of the night, I can only hope it's him. Not to assure himself of my safety or I of his, but because he can't live without my voice. All I think of is his voice. What it sounds like. How sweet it is. The soft gravel. The assurity. The knowledge. The hope. The searching. The way it caresses my ear every time he speaks.
It's been too long. I don't want to forget.
His eyes. They are always so full of hope. Of a knowledge beyond anoyone's years. Yet so naive at times. A willingness to believe, held back by an invisible barrier. The joy. And the sadness. It's all there. When they dance with glee, his heart is heavy with mourning. When they brim with tears I can see straight thru to the unbelief he has that he wants to be rid of.
He will return. I'm always so certain.
But will he? I don't see an end to any of it. But that would end the life I have come so used to. But without him, that life feels so useless. Sometimes I just don't believe I can go on without him.
I miss him terribly!
There is so much I want to share with him. So much I wish I had already told. Why have I waited so long. All this time, spent only to loose every chance I've been given? I never coordinated the right words. Never had the boldness to tell.
I am afraid I will never get the chance.
I wake sobbing into my pillow so many times. I think I hear his soft breathing, but it's not. But it is as close as I feel I can get to him for the time being. His eyes are a beautiful reflection. The trusting deamonor. It will no doubt leave with the years that are to come. I only hope that some day he will be here. I only hope that he will once again see this beautiful life he helped to create. I only hope he can come to live in safety to be together. I only hope.
I only believe....
© Abbie Layne
Dedication: Angel, you've been begging and begging me to write a MSR. Which could either mean you think I'm a brilliant writer or you want to see how I veiw their relationship. I hope it's both. Yet, whichever it may be, this is for you, kimosabe!
Lost to Believe
Wordless. That's how I feel.
My dreams are consumed by something I can't describe. Everywhere I turn. I look forward to them, tho. They're an outlet to what I can't bring myself to admit.
I want to, tho! So badly.
My phone rings in the middle of the night, I can only hope it's him. Not to assure himself of my safety or I of his, but because he can't live without my voice. All I think of is his voice. What it sounds like. How sweet it is. The soft gravel. The assurity. The knowledge. The hope. The searching. The way it caresses my ear every time he speaks.
It's been too long. I don't want to forget.
His eyes. They are always so full of hope. Of a knowledge beyond anoyone's years. Yet so naive at times. A willingness to believe, held back by an invisible barrier. The joy. And the sadness. It's all there. When they dance with glee, his heart is heavy with mourning. When they brim with tears I can see straight thru to the unbelief he has that he wants to be rid of.
He will return. I'm always so certain.
But will he? I don't see an end to any of it. But that would end the life I have come so used to. But without him, that life feels so useless. Sometimes I just don't believe I can go on without him.
I miss him terribly!
There is so much I want to share with him. So much I wish I had already told. Why have I waited so long. All this time, spent only to loose every chance I've been given? I never coordinated the right words. Never had the boldness to tell.
I am afraid I will never get the chance.
I wake sobbing into my pillow so many times. I think I hear his soft breathing, but it's not. But it is as close as I feel I can get to him for the time being. His eyes are a beautiful reflection. The trusting deamonor. It will no doubt leave with the years that are to come. I only hope that some day he will be here. I only hope that he will once again see this beautiful life he helped to create. I only hope he can come to live in safety to be together. I only hope.
I only believe....