"You've been wearing black for too long."
Her heart nearly stopped. She willed her next breath to come. His hand was on the stereo, starting the music again. He held his hand out to her, almost daring her to step out of mourning, and back into life.
She hesitated. It had been so long since their last dance, just before Rupert had learned of his illness. Clarisse had declared her place to be with her husband, the King, throughout his final days. A dutiful consort, with unspoken words Clarisse had told Joseph their friendship was on hold. She had concentrated on her duties as a wife and Consort since then, and beyond. Today that was about to change.
Her head was spinning with reasons to take Joseph's hand, and reasons to refuse. What if she forgot the steps? Stupid. This was their music, and she knew each step as she knew how his hands felt as he guided her through each turn. Was she ready? Was she ready to face him as just Clarisse, with no vows to prevent the outpouring of her feelings?
With a small smile and a nod, she accepted his hand and he lead her to the center of the empty ballroom. He would not rush her, it was enough that she had relented and agreed to his calculated request. His face betrayed none of the flood of emotion he was feeling to have her back in his arms after so long. He had known back then that he must bow out of her life as anything but her Head of Security, and bow out he had. Until now.
Rupert had died 11 months earlier, and this trip to San Francisco to meet Amelia was the first glimpse of the "old" Clarisse Joseph had seen in those long years. Amelia had brought a spark back into her Grandmother's life, and he intended to fan it into flame, to get back the vibrant woman that had taken hold of his heart nearly forty years ago.
Slowly, they resumed where they had left off five years earlier. Oddly, they felt like strangers to one another. Perhaps too much time had passed? Had they grown beyond the unspoken love they shared? All doubts dissipated as Joseph smiled gently into her blue eyes, both giving encouragement and seeking reassurance that she was all right. The dance continued, and with each step Clarisse grew confident that the time had come for her to move back into her life again. She smiled into the dark eyes that for so many years had been her lifeline; coming to her in her dreams for countless years.
Then she missed a step.
Joseph effortlessly moved them back in time with the music, responding to her cry of dismay by holding her more tightly in his arms, more firmly guiding her around the room. He spun her away, and pulled her back. He liked the way her dress moved with her, admiring her profile, and longing to… He wouldn't rush her.
Clarisse hadn't forgotten the dance step. She simply had become distracted by Joseph's close proximity, his scent, the familiar way his hand felt on her back. Her thoughts had wandered to the place forbidden except in her dreams and daydreams. Before Rupert got sick, she and Joseph were becoming dangerously close. They had been flirting, touching, and finding excuses to be together more often than necessary. That one night in the garden, following the annual Genovian Independence Day Ball, they had gone over the line. She'd danced with him in the gazebo, and when the music ended he'd kissed her, and she had kissed him recklessly in return. But there was no chance to explore the relationship further, for that had been the night Rupert had first collapsed. Five years ago. Since then, Philippe had died, and Joseph dearly hoped that his beloved Clarisse would weather the most painful days of her life. He stayed by her side, but at a respectful distance.
Today, the distance between them was shrinking with each dance step. They both knew the last notes of the music were seconds away. With uncertainty, their motion slowed.
They stopped; inches apart; each breathing slightly heavier than usual. Joseph was the first to break their silence. "Clarisse" he nearly whispered.
"Oh, Joseph, I, I don't know what to say…"
"I know. I've missed dancing with you."
She smiled, touching his face with her hand. "You are the most divine dancer, I'm sorry I wasn't a very good partner".
With both her hands clasped in his, he stepped back to look at her. "I want to dance with you for the rest of my life."
He knew he'd gone too far. The color that had been in her face, blushed from dancing, quickly drained as his words found meaning in her mind. She stepped back, unable to breathe, and when the next breath came, with it came a sob, and tears. She turned away, and fled the ballroom, leaving a bewildered Joseph kicking himself for rushing her.