Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

I tweaked the scene a little bit to fit with my muse I think this is officially a drabble.

Tamara Barnes. I don't know how one single woman could shatter my world into a million glittering pieces like the glass of the photo frame that is spread across my floor. It's the picture JJ took of us last summer when neither of us was paying attention to the camera, both too engrossed in the conversation – most probably the shameless flirting – that we were having. I loved that photo. Yes, Derek, I said "loved" as in past tense. Now it just hurts.

Sure, Hot Stuff, you didn't ask for my advice – of course not because you knew what I would say – but I gave it to you anyway. I wouldn't be your straight talking, hard headed best friend if I didn't. I tell you it like it is but I give you sunshine and rainbows along with it, usually. But not this time; this time it could not be sugar coated or disguised, you needed to hear it like it was.

The light dances on the glittering glass splinters and it takes me back – sure you'll laugh and say that it wasn't the way the light reflected off the glass, but that it was my subconscious or some other profiler mumbo-jumbo but I know it was that sparkling reflection. That exact same shine was in your eyes when I stopped you that day in the office.

I have never been that nervous in my whole entire life, handsome, my stomach churning, struggling to keep my hands from shaking as you turned those chocolate brown orbs to look at me. You looked at me with that look you always seem to save just for me, that makes me feel as if I am the only person in the room with you, that I am the most important person in the whole entire world and the shine in your eyes was as hypnotising as the light dancing on the flecks of glass.

But that wasn't a fight, we didn't fight us two. That was until recently. It all started with Tamara, she was the catalyst, even after she was out of the picture and you had come to me with your tail between your legs because your "all knowing goddess" had been correct. I had replied simply; I wasn't all knowing I just knew exactly what it was like to be in her position. Only I had been 18 and lost both parents. And someone had come along trying to pick up the pieces of me, but the difference was they stayed long enough to build me back up and just as I was on the cusp of emerging as me once again he was gone, it was too much for him to handle. He wasn't "All In". It was as if I back-peddled straight back to the second I heard the words leave the doctor's lips, and I would not wish that on anybody, not even the woman who had the potential to take my best friend, you my chocolate god, away from me.

My life began to crack, like little rivers in the glass in the frame when she walked into our lives, when you ignored my advice and pursued some form of relationship with her and then the cracks began to widen. It was then that you finally began to realise that you wanted a relationship that was going to last. You would think that would fill me with nothing but happiness for my best friend, wouldn't you Hot Stuff? But it didn't, instead I was filled with sadness and sorrow, a good dose of envy for whoever the lucky girl would be and some good old selfishness. I wanted you to myself, you are my best friend, and you can't begrudge me not wanting to share you, can you? However you really could. In this time and place in our lives I am taken and you are looking. It doesn't take a computer genius to do the math. It doesn't add up. But what if "me plus you" could equal magic? That's always been a stray thought of mine, always. And now I finally could act on it because you are in that place that would mean it wouldn't be "just sex". All that was stopping me was Kevin, sweet loveable Kevin. And yet, I didn't love him, not wholeheartedly "I-want-to-ravish-you-every-second-of-every-day-and-wake-up-to-your-kisses-for-the-rest-of-time" kind of love. So it should have been simple, easy, easy-peasy lemon squeezy even. It wasn't.

I crushed the poor man, he looked at me like he was a puppy I had just kicked, begged – no, pleaded that I take him back, that we try again because we were "good together". I didn't want "good", I wanted "great".

Too bad the "great" ship had already sailed, eh angel face?

That's why this picture is laying here in shards. She is the reason, you are the reason.

I knocked on your door, same time as always on a Wednesday and with no answer I used the spare key you had given me. I wish I hadn't. I walked in on you two feasting on each others' lips and my heart thundered to a stop. That was not what I wanted to see. You dancing with spritely, perky, young twenty-somethings in bars was different than this, this was too much. This was at your place when we were supposed to have movie night and I was going to put all my cards on the table.

I bet I looked like a goddamn goldfish then, mouth opening and closing rapidly as my eyes bugged out of their sockets. But I couldn't shield my reaction and my words of greeting died on my lips as I saw the image in front of me, and then you heard me. You broke apart from the lovely waif that was in your arms and looked at me, the same goldfish like expression on your face as you looked from me and my expression to the girl in your arms who was asking all the questions.

"Morgan who is that? Why is she here?...Morgan? Are you even listening to me? What's going on?"

What's going on? That was the question I wanted to ask. You hadn't had a girlfriend in a few months, hadn't brought someone back to your place in longer, or at least as far we spoke about it you hadn't.

"Morgan? What the hell?! MORGAN?!"

I couldn't move. I was rooted to the spot as your eyes bore holes into mine. But at her last shout of your name I was jolted from my state of total shock and I spun away from the scene, tears prickling at my eyes as I ran for my car. I definitely hadn't been expecting that Handsome, you breaking my heart.

I raced home, not really paying attention to the cars, my thoughts racing and my heart pounding and all I wanted to do was to hurt you, to make you feel the pain I felt. I was in my apartment before I knew what was happening. I spotted the picture out the corner of my eye and then...

CRASH.

The glass was everywhere and here I am, a crumpled mess in the floor of my own home watching the light reflecting off of the glittering splinters through a film of tears as I cannot help but think back to when all of 'our' problems started. My mind playing it all in a constant loop: Tamara Barnes. Kevin Lynch. Stupid skinny waif with her tongue down your throat. Shock. Hurt. Anger. Driving. Running. Crying. Breaking.

Silence.

And then there is another sound, a familiar sound. A familiarknock.