Characters remain the property of their creators, Ms. Harris and Ms. Evanovich, I just thought the two main characters should meet. I'm strictly a Babe & Northman fan, so fair warning if I choose to add more chapters that is likely where it will head. My first attempt at fan fiction and I've only read one Sookie Stackhouse novel and a little of its fanfic so I apologize if the voice or writing is not as good as I would like. If anyone would like to beta or has ideas where this should go, please let me know in the reviews.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Sookie ambled into the bar and threw her purse beneath a bar stool. She pulled her blond hair back in a ponytail and folded one leg underneath her. She was tired and sore from the long drive and was thankful there were only a few people in the bar to block out of her mind. The stress of driving all day, combined with the large number of strangers' thoughts she had had to put up with on the trip had given her a headache and she was looking forward to drowning herself in drink for the evening.

Must be my lucky night to have two hot single chicks at my bar tonight… maybe we can get some threesome action going on, the bartender thought as he slid a napkin in front of her. "Beautiful lady, what can I get for ya?" he said, his thick New Jersey accent nearly making her laugh despite the sour taste his thoughts had left her with.

"Gin and tonic," she replied coolly.

Thank God, maybe he'll stop hitting on me now, Sookie heard from someone further down the bar. She looked up to see a curly-headed brunette woman knocking back a shot. The woman put the glass down and caught Sookie looking at her. She looked briefly at the bartender then back at Sookie and rolled her eyes. Sookie smiled. The woman gave a finger wave. Allied forces, the woman thought.

Thinking the woman might be right and there might be strength in numbers Sookie slid off her stool, grabbed her purse and moved to a stool two down from the other woman.

"Stephanie Plum," said the woman, a large smile on her face, her hand extended.

"Sookie Stackhouse," she said, grasping the woman's hand.

Stephanie gasped, "That is the cutest accent ever, where are you from?"

"Louisiana."

"God, what I wouldn't give for your tan and the sunshine that gave it to you. What on earth are you doing in Jersey in the middle of the winter?"

Sookie paused but didn't hear any further thoughts coming from the woman, only the drone of the rest of the room's thoughts and a couple of lewd thoughts radiating from the bartender. "Just running away from my problems for a little bit."

"Denial, my favorite method…" said Stephanie.

Sookie raised an eyebrow.

How did she?...Stephanie gasped and covered her mouth, "Oh God, I'm sorry, I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Sookie smiled brightly, "It's kind of refreshing, not many people say what they're thinking… Is that a New Jersey thing?"

"No… Oh, my gosh no. No, that's just my mouth. It has no censor."

"Shame, I was kind of hoping you'd say everyone was that way here."

Stephanie looked up at the bartender, pointed to her glass and held up two fingers then turned back to Sookie. "I wish. Nope, I can't figure out half of what people around me are really thinking and yet they can hear every thought in my head." Damn Ranger and his stupid ESP.

Sookie tried to keep a blank face as she wondered what or who this other person with ESP was to Stephanie. "So are you running away from something or someone at the bar this evening?"

"Definitely."

"What's his name?" Sookie said, smiling and fingering the shot glass the bartender had set in front of her.

Which one? thought Stephanie.

Sookie laughed then cut herself short, hoping Stephanie didn't notice the invasion of her thoughts. A long moment passed as they both thought of their own pair of problems. Sookie let out a long sigh… "Men suck." She smirked and rolled her eyes thinking of the two vampires that had caused her to drive three days straight from Louisiana to New Jersey, spending her nights in which ever hotel she could find with the fewest people.

"True, and yet I seem to need them far too often." said Stephanie, throwing back the next shot.

"So what is this drink?" Sookie said suspiciously. "It smells like rum and fruit and something else but I can't tell what."

"Good nose."

Sookie shrugged, "Waitress."

"Ah…" Stephanie nodded, "It's called a 'Blue Hawaii.' Technically it's a cocktail but it seems I can't really handle having something so wonderful and actually enjoying it for very long so I have Marty…" she nodded towards the bartender, "put it in shot glasses for me."

Sookie took a sip. "It is really tasty. What's in it?"

"Vodka, light rum, sweet and sour mix, pineapple juice and blue curacao." Stephanie rattled off, tipping her nearly empty glass back to let one last drop hit her tongue.

"Sweet and sour, plus pinapple juice… yeah, somehow that seems just about right for a man-problem drink."

Freakin' man of mystery… Stephanie muttered in her head.

Sookie took a large swallow of her drink and tried to drown out the bartenders thoughts as he stared at her in the mirror over the bar. "I've got a two-man problem. I might need another one of these."

Stephanie laughed, "I like your logic, and Marty usually makes enough to fill a pitcher when I come in looking like this. Then he just serves them in the tiny glasses so I can shoot them and he can charge me more. I've got a two-man problem too so I've been in here a lot lately."

"In that case the next round is on me." Sookie said with a smile.

"I like you…" Stephanie said, raising her glass in the air. "To drowning our sorrows and denying our problems!"

"Cheers" Sookie said, raising her glass. They clicked glasses and both drank their shots in a single long gulp. Marty moved into action pouring two more.

"Sooo…Do yours know about each other?" Stephanie asked, her words slightly slurred.

"Unfortunately... And they go all macho-like with each other when I'm around. It's so frustrating."

"I know…" Stephanie slammed her hand down on the bar then jumped a bit at the loud sound. "And every time something goes wrong they get all protective."

"Totally."

"And Joe just wants me to be his and a good little wifey…" Stephanie trailed off.

"The first time Bill introduced me to someone he immediately declared I was 'his'… how territorial is that?"

"Ughh… I know. Like they can just mark us as property! Ranger told people I was 'his woman' even though he won't have a relationship with me. Ridiculous!"

"Right? And Eric is all cold and distant and scary and then tries to seduce me and convince me to leave Bill."

"And Ranger…" Stephanie's eyes glazed over for a minute before she continued. "Does all these things to make me… and then just walks away like nothing affects him." She turned and looked Sookie in the eyes, grabbing Sookie by the shoulders. "You can trust them with your life, sure, but you can't trust them with your heart, can you?"

Sookie put her head down on her arms. "You really can't."

Stephanie suddenly stood up and her head snapped towards the door. Sookie looked at Stephanie even as she heard the rushing onslaught of thoughts from the group of men entering the bar. Get him. Guns. Money. Quick score. Grab the girls. Sookie grabbed Stephanie's arm and yanked her towards the back of the bar. Oh great, just what I need tonight, another reason for Ranger and Joe to think I need protection, Stephanie thought. Sookie gave her a questioning look and pulled her down behind a table.

"They're here to rob the place," Sookie whispered.

"There's no back door to this place." Stephanie said, still slurring her words a bit. "Did a distraction here once and Ranger was happy we only had to cover one exit." She smirked, "There is however a disgusting ladies room at the back." Sookie nodded and they began crawling.

Stupid disgusting peanut shells. How long has it been since they swept? The one time I get to wear a skirt and now I'm going to have peanut shells imbedded in my kneecaps. Stephanie wordlessly ranted as the two women crawled towards the ladies room, sticking to the darkness closest the back wall. Sookie smiled at her new companion's thoughts, amused that she was thinking of such mundane things while men with guns took over the bar.

They reached the bathroom and pushed through the door. Stephanie stood up and locked it behind them. Sookie stood up and looked around her. "I think you over-sold it," she whispered to Stephanie.

Can't believe I let Ranger make out with me in here. I'm lucky I didn't catch a disease, Stephanie thought in return.

Sookie gasped as she heard clearly, Where did those little chickies go? I wanna have some fun! She reached out and grabbed Stephanie's hand just before the door burst open and large, strong, hands grabbed her around her waist.

Why me? thought Stephanie as Sookie saw the large figure swing something at her and felt a sharp pain in her head as the lights went out.