Physicals
By Wicketbear
Summary: Someone is underweight by 2 pounds. Yes please review, helps me learn. Enjoy.
Sequel to Weight Management.
"So, Bones how does my physical look?" Jim asked sitting across from the Doctor in his office.
McCoy was intently studying his PADD. Bones looked across the desk at the Captain, "Well its official your underweight. You need to gain at least 2 pounds just to get to the minimum Star Fleet regulation weight standard."
"Oh great," Kirk sulked and slumped deeper into his chair. "Bones we have been through this before, it never works."
McCoy scowled pointing an accusing finger at Jim saying, "I don't care. I have to file the results and you have to conform to the same standards as every other person in the Fleet, and you don't."
"Yeah right. The last time we tried this I gained a total of two pounds and lost both of them, though I was sorry to see them go, NOT! I lost those same two pounds on the next mission as well as two others. That worked, didn't it?" he scowled. Throwing his hands in the air with frustration Kirk added, "How much more cake and ice cream can I possibly eat?"
McCoy grinned at this. "As much as you want. I figure you will have to gain four pounds in order to keep two of them, and no exercise even with your brain."
"Ha ha, very funny, Bones. Not only will I not gain the weight but I'll go stir crazy just sitting around, and you know it." Kirk got up and started pacing the small office.
"Jim is it even possible for you to stop moving for a few minutes?"
"Yes," Kirk spun around, pointed at the chair and added, "I just did for 3 minutes in that chair listening to you babble about two pounds."
"I don't babble, Spock babbles." Bone grinned. Watching the Captain pace he added, "See this is exactly what I mean, too much activity."
"Fine, I'll eat the ship if I have too. Will that make you happy?"
With a smirk McCoy said, "Only if you gain two pounds doing it."
Growling under his breath Kirk stomped out of the Sickbay.
For the next several days, and to the irritation of the bridge crew, Kirk ate everything in sight. Never appearing without some form of food in his hand and a reserve in the other.
I week passed before McCoy called Kirk back into the Sickbay. "All right Jim, let's see what we have." McCoy ran his scanner and stepped away intent on the PADD.
"Well, Bones? What does it say?" Kirk asked anxiously.
McCoy scowled for effect. "It looks like you gained 2 pounds."
"Yes! All right! That's great! Thanks Bones." Kirk left the sickbay with a bounce in his step.
"Infant." McCoy went back to his duties, hiding the grin on his face.
Several weeks later found McCoy and Kirk relaxing, with a drink in hand, in McCoy's office talking. They were deep into conversation about their individual shore leave excursions, when out of nowhere McCoy says, "You lost the 2 pounds."
Kirk said a few more words until McCoy's words sunk in and he looked across at the Doctor. "Bones," he groaned, "you did not say what I think you said, did you?"
"Which part?"
"You know which part."
"Maybe you should tell me so I know if you got it right."
"Bones?"
"It's McCoy, Kid, Doctor McCoy."
Kirk throughout his chest saying, "It Kirk, Captain Kirk, Doctor."
The doctor rolled his eyes, tired of the game. Not giving in he said, "So what did I say?"
"You said, and I quote, 'You lost the 2 pounds'. See I was listening." Deadpanned he replied, "Bull shit."
The End
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Please review.