This fic was written for wlwbuffy, because she made me an absolutely awesome Alicia Lehane Moodboard/Aesthetic. She requested Willow x Fem!Oz.
In the universe imagined in this fic, Danielle "Oz" Osbourne was born female. Always has been a woman. Her personality, broadly speaking, is the same, and she still plays the guitar in Dingoes Ate My Baby.
Timeline-wise, it's set in Season 2, somewhere between Surprise/Innocence and Phases.
Willow Rosenberg had always thought of herself as straight.
Okay, no, that wasn't true. She had never really thought about it at all before. She'd just assumed she was...
And until the last month or so, she hadn't had any reason to question that inherent assumption.
But now she was. Constantly. Because of Oz.
She'd known who Danielle "Oz" Osbourne was, of course. Dingoes Ate My Baby had played at the Bronze and other places in town to be a known thing, and you couldn't not know the names of the popular kids in the school.
But she'd never interacte with the older girl just because... well, the popular people never talked to her, unless it was to make fun of her or her outfits or like, demand her help for something. And Oz wasn't the mean nasty type like Cordelia and too smart to need her tutoring help.
So until they'd both been in that back room with the computer people, Willow had never spoken with the guitar player. But then they were both there and Oz had just started talking to her like she was another person and... Oz had made her laugh and smile and there'd been a lot for them to talk about, especially with computers.
She'd spent more timing hanging out with since then, including bringing her to Buffy's birthday. She hadn't known why she had... at least not then.
Now, Willow was starting to think she knew why. Maybe. Possibly. She didn't know.
Willow was spending a lot of time thinking about Oz. Wondering about her. Wondering what she was up to, where she was, how she was. She'd thought about Oz a lot, and was always aware of her presence and closeness and... and sometimes when she saw Oz, she got this sort of... tingly feeling. She'd never really felt it before... at least, she wasn't sure, but there'd been a few times when...
If I like girls, then... well that would explain... things. And with Miss Calendar... Willow flushed just thinking about it. Did that mean she'd had a crush on her computer science teacher? She didn't anymore, but she was... Maybe I did... oh god...
Willow knocked on the door to Oz's house. She had mentioned earlier today at school that her parents were out of town – which wasn't actually common for the Osbournes, unlike the Rosenbergs, but...
When there was no immediate response – because of course there wouldn't be – Willow started to reach for the bell, then she pulled her hand back. What was she doing here? She needed to go back home. Forget about this. This was stupid.
I'm not gay, I don't have a crush on Oz and I don't want to kiss her!
Willow blinked as those thoughts ran through her mind. She'd never put it in such explicit words before, even in her own head.
But... Willow stopped for a moment, just standing there on the step, imaging kissing Oz...
It felt... nice. Imagining kissing Xander had always felt... nice, but in an abstract sense. She loved Xander and... she was still hurt by the fact that he was interested in Cordelia Chase and had never given her a second look, but... thinking about kissing Oz... it felt... nice in a much more concrete way. Despite herself, she closed her eyes and kept imagining it.
Willow was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening. Oz was there, her hair dyed green today and looking as cool and amazing and together as always... she flushed... she'd just been thinking about kissing the other girl and here she was and she was looking...
Looking so pretty!
"Willow. Hey," Oz stepped aside, silently inviting her in. Hesitating for only a second, Willow went inside. "What's up?" Oz asked as she closed the door behind her.
"I... I wanted to talk to you." Willow managed to get out, but that was the last of the firm voiced-ness she had left. "Can – can we sit?" She asked, pointing to the couch, unsure she could keep standing through this. If she could even do this at all, which she... Oh god I can't do this. Before she could stammer out apologies and just leave, Oz nodded.
"Sure." Willow followed her to the couch, and they sat down. Willow scooted away a little, very aware of how close Oz was to her. Willow said nothing, swallowing slowly. Oz, a slightly bemused expression on her face, like she usually did,
"I...I don't even know where to start," Willow said after a long moment. "I – I know we've only really known each other for a month and that's not a lot of time and I'm only seventeen years old and I never really thought about any of this but I'm-" Willow started to babble, her face going completely red and the flush spreading down her neck, but she couldn't stop herself. The pace of her words only increased as she kept "I keep thinking about you and when I think about you it feels nice and I really really like you and now I'm thinking about kissing you which is weird because I never thought I liked girls but I think I do now and that means I'm gay and I think I have a crush on you!" Willow finally let out her breath as she got it all out, feeling like she wanted to melt into a puddle and escape through the cracks between the floorboards or something.
Oz didn't say anything for a long moment, and Willow felt her chest and throat tighten unpleasantly.
I was wrong... oh god. She doesn't like me. She doesn't like girls – no, no, she likes girls but she doesn't like me. I mean, who would like me... her heart started doing backflips on its way up to her throat, but Willow managed to find her voice again.
"I-I'll just go..." She said, starting to get up, "I'm sorry... It was so-so silly of me to say that... I mean, you're obviously not-" Willow started, almost to her feet, but Oz grabbed her hand and pulled Willow back down to the couch lightly. Completely shocked into silence by the physical contact, Willow let her do it.
"No. Not Silly." Oz said slowly, then she reached up one hand to Willow's face, gently cupping one cheek and leaning in. Willow's brain shut down as she realized what was about to happen, every part of her aware of every part of Oz and then...
And then her brain really did shut down, all coherent thought leaving her as Oz kissed her. It started gentle, light, but it quickly deepened, Oz's other hand going around Willow's back.
The feeling of Oz's lips on hers... Willow leaned into Oz's touch, returning the kiss, tentatively at first, then with... something more. She opened her lips a little as they kept kissing, one hand going up to Oz's neck and around the back of it, holding onto her as if for dear life.
Which maybe she needed to, because right now, Willow felt like drowning. Her entire world was zooming down just to Oz and her hands on her and her own hands on Oz and their lips and then Oz's tongue pressed against her already parted lips and then she opened her lips and Oz's tongue was in her mouth and oh god! It felt good...
After what felt like forever and not enough time at once, Oz pulled back, someone breathing hard, an Willow realized was both of them.
"I've been wanting to do that for weeks," Oz confessed as they pulled apart. "I... I was starting to wonder if maybe you weren't... I thought you might be... gay, but I wasn't sure." Oz said, stringing more words together than she usually did.
"I didn't start thinking I might be until... well, you," Willow said after a moment to catch her breath. "But... yeah. I guess I am." She bit her lip and looked down. "Does anyone know you-" Willow started... at a school like Sunnydale, if it was a known thing that Danielle Osbourne was gay, it would have spread like wildfire on the gossip mill. Even Willow would have heard about it.
"The rest of the band, my parents. And you," Oz answered. "Just... hasn't really come up. Really no one else's business." Oz reached for Willow's hand and they interlaced fingers. "Might be their business snow."
"Wha-what do you mean?" Willow asked slowly, even though she was pretty sure she knew.
"I really like you, Willow." Oz said. "Dating you would be of the good." Then she squeeze Willow's hand, "but... if you want to keep this all on the down low... I'd understand." Oz said, sounding completely genuine and honest and...
Willow tried to process everything. She had no idea which way was up at this point. Oz had wanted to kiss her. Oz was gay. I'm gay. Oz wanted to date her, was willing to out herself to do it openly.
Do I- doubts circulated in her head. What would Buffy think? Xander? Giles? Her parents? Even as absentee as they were, they'd eventually notice that their daughter was gay, right?
"I...I like the idea of dating you," Willow said slowly. "A lot. I... I-I'm not sure about the whole... coming out of the closet to... I mean, I just realized that I was in the closet! I need... I need more time before I can decide on that one just now..."
Oz nodded. "I get that." Then she smiled a little, her mouth up-ticking just a touch in a way that that looked so pretty on her face. "While you're working on that... I really wanna kiss you again."
Unable to stop herself from blushing again – or maybe just more, because she wasn't sure she'd even stopped – Willow nodded, unable to trust her words. In response to her nod, Oz closed the distance between them and then her lips were on Willow's.