Disclaimer: Avengers belongs to Marvel.
What Makes You Beautiful belongs to One Direction.
What Makes You Beautiful *Parody* belongs to barelypolitical (check them out on YouTube)
Avengers Assemble! (song) belongs to screenteamshow (check them out on YouTube)
I do however own the story below and the computer I'm writing it on ^.^
Avengers Assemble!
"Crap crap shit balls crap." Darcy Lewis muttered as she rushed down the halls of the enormous S.H.I.E.L.D base. Day one and she was already running late. When she finally came to the doors of the Tesseract Receiving Facility, her boss Jane Foster was there waiting for her.
"Where have you been?" Jane asked.
"Lost. Did I miss anything?"
"He's just starting to come through now." Jane grabbed Darcy's wrist and pulled her through the automatic doors. Inside the high ceilinged room was a large platform. Different lab workers were scattered around, but also a group of…very different looking people. Of course all of whom Darcy recognized from TV; Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye- and one man she didn't know. But he had the same expression of not wanting to be there as her.
Tony Stark saw Darcy and Jane and made a beeline for them. "So this is the infamous Dr. Foster." He smiled. "You know I read some of your work on the Einstein Rosen Bridge- kept me up all night." Apparently this was a compliment. Tony turned to Darcy. "And who might you be? You'd think I know someone as attractive as yourself already."
"Darcy, I'm J- Dr. Foster's assistant."
"Fresh outta college no doubt. Come on; meet the rest of the gang."
Steve Rogers was very polite to Darcy- he had that whole 'Home Grown American Boy Next Door' thing going on for him- not really her style, but still nice to know such men existed. Clint Barton and Natasha Romanov had some serious sexual tension that needed to get relief fast. The guy Darcy didn't know was Dr. Bruce Banner-
"Oh I remember you!" she exclaimed when he introduced himself. "I'm a huge fan of your recent work-"
"What, when I turn into a huge green rage monster?" he asked half-joking.
"No no- well, that's kind of awesome too. But I mean your work in Calcutta-"
All of a sudden there was a lot of rushing around and commotion. Jane tensed next to Darcy and everyone watched as a blinding blue light filled the room. Two figures landed on the platform. Both dressed in Asguardian armor, Thor and Loki looked up at the crowd watching them.
Without warning Clint pulled out a bow and an arrow. Within seconds he had fired it at Loki's head. Darcy let out an involuntary scream, but it got stuck in her throat when Loki caught it inches away from its target (his face).
"Really? Are we still bitter about that?" he asked, snapping the arrow in two.
Oh my god. Darcy thought. Thor's brother's freaking sexy! Sure I saw his picture in that file- but paired with that accent. Dear Lord I think my ovaries just burst.
Thor stood next to Loki for a moment until he saw Erik Selvig. "My good friend!" he bellowed, sweeping the poor man into a bone crushing hug.
"So does that make me chopped liver?" Darcy called.
"Lady Darcy!" Thro went to hug her as well, but he stopped suddenly. "Do you possess that lightning weapon still?"
Darcy laughed. "That's only for the creeps on the street. Now hug me brotha!" When she felt like the air was being squeezed out of her lungs, Darcy realized she'd only brought that on herself. "Okay big guy. Let me go and make out with your girlfriend." Thor let her down and went to go greet Jane. And by greet there was lots of kissing.
"Oh isn't that sweet." Tony grimaced.
"Ha, try working with her. 'Is he okay? I hope he got home safely. Oh why doesn't Thor come for me like he said? God I'm so sexually frustrated I could hump a bagel!' " Darcy did a bad imitation of Jane.
Tony and Bruce laughed, while Loki shook his head and chuckled. Mortals. He thought, and then looked to the woman that had made the remark. Though I must admit this one has potential. She is lovely too…
NaNanaNaNanaNaNanaNa
Nananananananana Moves Like Batman
As part of his punishment, Loki was sent to Earth (under the supervision of Thor) to work with the Avengers and make up for what he had done.
Jane's research was moved to the Avenger's Tower- because the 'Bifrost' still wasn't working. Thor and Loki had simply used the Tesseract's powers again. So Darcy spent most of her time there along with her boss.
It happened one night when she was up late copying Jane's handwritten notes onto the computer. "Holy shit." Darcy groaned. "That cannot be a word; it's not in the Microsoft dictionary. It just…can't be." Deciding to take a break, she plugged her headphones into her iPod and went to get a coffee. But she didn't notice that they weren't plugged in all the way, so the music played through the speakers instead. Good thing that part of the building was deserted, right?
Wrong.
NaNanaNaNanaNaNanaNa
Nananananananana Moves Like Batman
Loki was up- like most nights- reading. Midguardian culture was quite fascinating. But he required more of this 'coffee' beverage Thor was so fond of. It aided in keeping him awake.
On his way to the kitchen, Loki heard a faint ring of what those on Midguard called music. As he got closer he could make out the sound of hurried drums and a strange growling. Bopping her head to the music was Darcy Lewis- her dark curls falling around her face as she put water in the coffee pot. The song ended and she looked up and blushed furiously. "I didn't have my headphones plugged in all the way, did I?"
Loki shook his head with a smirk. Darcy sighed, "Dammit, I've got to stop doing that. Anywhore, care for some coffee? I just put on a fresh pot."
"That would be nice, thank you." Loki nodded his head and leaned on the counter. He observed Darcy in her skinny jeans and tank top that showed enough cleavage to make any mortal (or immortal) man stop and look. Her feet were bare and her glasses were perched on the end of her nose.
Darcy puttered around the kitchen getting mugs, cream, milk, sugar and spoons. But she was also checking out the attractive god not five feet away from her. He was in a blue dress shirt, black slacks and dress shoes. His long hair was slicked back other than one loose strand that dangled over his face. So. Freaking. Yummy!
"So, kudos on not trying to take over the planet again." Darcy said, finally unable to take the silence.
"Well, considering I was beaten quite fiercely the first time, I didn't see the point in continuing the attempt." Loki shrugged.
"Yeah, I heard Bruce beat you into the floor- um." Darcy flushed again and stifled a giggle. "But I also saw a tape of your speech thing in Germany. Is that what you really think? The whole Freedom is a Lie thing?"
Loki sighed, Here we go again. He thought. Another freedom fighter. "Yes."
"I agree."
"Pardon?" was he honestly hearing what he thought he was.
"I mean, I wouldn't go as far as enslaving humanity, but there have always been people in the world supposedly fighting for freedom. But in the end, it's all greedy politics." Darcy shrugged. "I may not look like much, but I went to school. I learned this shit. And you're not totally wrong. But not totally right either."
For the rest of the night Loki and Darcy conversed about things that were important to some like global economy and freedom and peace. Eventually Darcy stifled a yawn and looked out the window.
"Holy crap- sun. Yikes." She took a sip of her coffee and grimaced. "And cold coffee. Wonderful. What a fantabulous start to the day." She sighed. "Well, as wonderful as it was talking with you- I've got to get some work done."
Loki stopped Darcy before she could leave. "I'm sorry for keeping you so late. Allow me." He touched her cup for the briefest moment and it started to bubble and steam like it was fresh.
"What the crap?" she took a sip and scalded her tongue. "What happened to being god of Mischief and Lies?"
Loki smirked. "Mischief, Lies, Tricks…and Fire." He bowed his head as he had been taught to do in a Lady's presence and took his leave. "I think I shall return here later. Perhaps you would join me?"
Darcy was dumbfounded. "Uh, yeah. Sure. Whatever you say…"
NaNanaNaNanaNaNanaNa
Nananananananana Moves Like Batman
What started out as innocent coffee soon became lunch runs. Followed by candlelit dinners and walks in the park. Most people wouldn't dare go to Central Park at night, but it was almost like there was a veil around the couple that kept muggers away.
Jane noticed an immediate change in Darcy- her work was completed before it was due, with little error. Like she wanted it done and not have to look at it again. Thor saw that his brother wasn't bitter about staying on the planet he'd attempted to rule. In fact he became an extreme asset to the Avengers.
Loki told Darcy of the wonders of the universe. Of Asgard and Elfinheim- of the Bifrost and his adventures with Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three. In turn she told him about Doctor Who, Harry Potter, anime, comic books and Cosplays. That was when the idea first popped into her head.
"So people dress up as fantasy characters, and all congregate in a single hall. Comparing stories?" Loki asked, holding Darcy on his lap while she showed him pictures of her favorite Cosplays on her laptop.
"Pretty much, yeah." She nodded. "See, here are some characters from that anime I told you about- Black Butler. There's Sebastian, Ciel, oh that's a good one of Grell…And here's Cloud Strife from a video game called Final Fantasy…" Darcy glanced over at the categories when she clicked on the Super Hero's icon. "And I think you may take interest and these." Up popped images for the sub categories- Superman, X-Men, Batman…and the Avengers.
Loki raised a dark brow as he looked at the serious Cosplayers in professional Thor and Captain America- and laughed at the sillier ones such as 'Iron Man' who was dressed in a giant iron- like the appliance. Or at the man in a skin tight Black Widow outfit. Finally they came to the Loki's.
There were the lamer, half assed attempts with fake wigs and cardboard armor. Then there was girls in sexy battle gear and horned helmets wielding spears. What made Loki stop laughing and pay attention was the ones of him in his Jötun form. Of course none truly resembled the real thing, but the fact that they had blue skin and blood red eyes…frightened him in a way. Because they were so close.
"Norse mythology always said you were of Jötun descent-" Darcy explained, clicking out of the web page. "Most people kind of ran with it. I'm sorry; I didn't know we'd gone that far into the pictures."
Loki shook his head to clear his mind. Darcy truly hated seeing him like this. She loved it best when he laughed- Loki's laugh was adorable. Like a deep 'Eheheheheh' sound. So, in an attempt to make him at least crack a shit eating grin, Darcy did what any interweber would do. She went to YouTube.
"This," she said, typing quickly. "Is called a parody." She hit enter, Loki saw the words One Direction Parody appear. Clicking on the first box, the screen lit up to show a beach scene. Five men dressed as boys jumped around for a while, and then it showed only one who began to sing in a deep, off-key voice.
"Look at my face, so sweet and pure. They let me sing even though I have a stu-u-ter." The scene changed to show all of them again."We're hanging tough, we punch the air. 'Cause like the honey badger we don't f-BEEP!-ing ca-a-are."
As the video continued, Loki found his smirk getting wider; eventually he was chuckling, hardly aware of Darcy smiling at him.
"This is the part where we Na na na na. Every good song needs a na na na na. You'll wake up at night screaming NA NA NA NA. My grandmother's nickname is Nana." At this point Loki and Darcy were laughing like lunatics. Having done his research, he understood a great deal of the references made. "I WILL BE IN MUSICLES!"the song finished.
"Eheheh. Ha…" Loki sighed, pressing his lips to Darcy's forehead. "Thank you."
"It's what I do." Darcy shrugged. "Loki, can I ask you something?"
"Certainly." He moved a bit of hair from her face.
Darcy took a deep breath. "You like me, right? As in, more than friends?"
"Am I not courting you?" Loki asked, a bit surprised.
Darcy held back a laugh. "Yeah I guess we're dating. It's just…You haven't kissed me. Ever. Other than that little thing right there. I mean hell; most guys would try and get in my pants by n-"
Loki pressed his lips to hers to silence her. Darcy melted into him, pressing herself into his body and wrapped her arms around his waist. Loki eased her back onto the couch they were sitting on and kneeled over top of her. Darcy ran her fingers up his back, beneath his dress shirt, through his hair. In turn Loki had one hand supporting her neck and the other rubbing her outer thigh. When he did finally pull away he gazed lovingly down at Darcy, who's eyes kept darting back from his own to his lips.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Loki muttered, kissing her again.
"Mm, tell me about it."
NaNanaNaNanaNaNanaNa
Nananananananana Moves Like Batman
Months later, in December, Christmas approached. Loki and Thor were explained the holiday and Thor was all for it. Somehow it was decided that the Avengers- should they have no plans- would dine together and have their own little Christmas party.
Darcy was determined to get something to everyone. But with her apartment rent to pay, there was no way she could afford much. She already had Loki's gift taken care of- that was where most of her cash had gone. It didn't help she had little to no idea what to give anyone else.
But there was always the idea that had been nagging at the back of her head. And she put it into action when the Avengers were out on a mission and Jane was visiting her family early- that way she could be in New York for the party. Darcy's pen flew across the lined paper in front of her, occasionally scratching out lines that she didn't like. By nightfall she'd finished writing, and then it was time to call in her friends. Darcy picked up her cell phone and dialed the number.
"Hey, Angie? It's Darcy. I'm great- but listen, I need a favor. Are you still doing videos with Chad? Well I've got a project I'm going to need help with…"
NaNanaNaNanaNaNanaNa
Nananananananana Moves Like Batman
The main room in the Avengers tower was completely decked out- wreathes, holly, mistletoe hanging from every doorway, punchbowls filled to the brim with spiked eggnog- and a tree that definitely should not have been able to fit in there. Darcy arrived with Jane, who wore a deep green colored dress that stopped at her knees with a slit up the thigh. Silver stilettos were strapped to her feet and her hair was loosely curled, pinned in it was a sprig of holly. Darcy had opted for a red dress that showed a generous amount of cleavage. Her hair was down but tamed, her lips were dark red and she wore black strappy heels. The two had decided to don Christmas colors and it looked planned as they were coming at the same time.
Upon entering the room Darcy was unable to greet anybody as she was swept into Loki's arms. "You are stunning." He breathed. "There's just one thing, Jane. My brother would have a fit should you enter wearing my colors." With a wave of Loki's hand, Jane's dress was transformed into a lovely ruby color, and Darcy saw hers was the same green as Loki's eyes. His black hair was slicked back, the sleeves on his green dress shirt were rolled up and the glint in his eyes made Darcy's heart hammer.
"How come you look so damn sexy all the time?" she asked.
Loki kissed her lightly. "To match you, my dear. I don't think I should let you in there though."
"And why's that?"
"As lovely as you look in this dress," Loki fingered the strap. "I think you'd look better with it off." The box Darcy had been carrying moved suddenly and she blushed.
"Down boy. Now come on, or your present is going home."
Loki pouted a bit, but followed Darcy into the main room. She placed the gold and green wrapped box under the tree- it was the box that her mother's ski helmet had come in, so it was fairly large. Nobody asked why there were holes in the sides. On top of that was another gift the size of a CD case. It was wrapped in black paper with red, yellow, green, blue, white, and purple curly ribbon.
Hours later, after dinner and lots of drinking (not to mention Thor mashing potatoes with Mjolnir) it was time for gifts to be passed around. It was mostly couples- Tony and Pepper, Clint and Natasha, Thor and Jane; even Fury got a new gun from Steve. Loki got a small parcel from under the tree wrapped in (surprise, surprise) green and handed it to Darcy.
Inside was a gold chain with a pendant in the form of a snake eating its own tail. Two green gems glistened as eyes and the serpent had every possible detail put into it- from the scales to fangs. The metal was cold against Darcy's skin as she put it on. "Loki this is incredible- thank you." She smiled.
"Putting your symbol on her already, eh brother?" Thor jeered from across the room.
"I'll pretend I don't see the hammer on Lady Jane's wrist." Loki called back, smirking. Those two were such…brothers sometimes.
"My turn." Darcy retrieved the large box from the tree and gave it to Loki. "Whatever you do, don't shake it." She said.
Loki removed the ribbon and lid and his eyes widened as he pulled out a pitch black kitten. She mewled at him, blinking in the new bright light.
"I saw her and thought of you- blame it on the eyes." Darcy shrugged and Bruce started laughing. Something about Loki and a bag of cats…? "Anyway, ones green like yours, but the other's blue like, well, you know."
The mismatched eyed kitten pawed at Loki's hands and he smiled- not smirked, but smiled. "Thank you, she is lovely."
"Awe, fluffy moment!" Tony declared. Darcy suddenly remembered her other gift.
"Wait a sec! Tony, DVD player- stat!" she yelled, tearing the paper off of her smaller gift. Tony pointed to the device and Darcy put a disk in. "My buddies and I made this up for all of you guys. Come on, gather round everybody. Someone get the lights!"
The lights were dimmed and all the Avengers gathered around the big screen TV as the show started.
Various clips of a man dressed as Captain America, Iron Man, the Hulk and Thor played as well as a woman dressed as Black Widow. 'Thor' came on screen and began singing.
"I'm mighty Thor, and this is war. You see my hammer better run for the do-o-or."Thor frowned as everybody else (including Jane) laughed.
Iron Man appeared next.
"A heart of steel, with sex appeal. I guess the super secret boy band is re-e-eal."
Tony could find the humor in the rendition of him.
'Black Widow' was next, along with a faceless man in a suit bopping his knees in time with the beat.
"Master assassin but with some fashion. Bashing in heads for you-ou."
All together the 'Avengers' danced in sync.
'Yeah we can light up the sky like nobody else. We're stopping all the bad guys, they're just overwhelmed. You say that you have an army, we have a Hulk. Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Avengers, Assemble!
"We are the ultimate fighting team brought together by S.H.I.E.L.D leader Nick Fury-"a black guy with an eye patch danced around onscreen. Followed by 'Thor' and 'Black Widow' standing next to each other, with a man in a green suit and gold horned helmet on a computer screen next to them.
Is that me? Loki thought.
"-Let's kick the crap out of Thor's brother Lo-ki-"
Yes that's me.
"Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Avengers Assemble!"
"Let's go-o-o." Widow sang.
"Avengers Assemble!"
Out popped 'Captain America', tossing around a Frisbee-like shield.
"Super soldier! I'll be your shield. And I can kick all kinds of ass on the battle field!"
He was followed by the 'Hulk' (who was really just the same guy, but colored green. He had by far the best moves out of all of them.
"So what I'm green, with cut off jeans? You. Wouldn't. Like. Me. When I'm AN-GRY!"
Again, Widow appeared looking sexy. This time she ran up to the Hulk holding a Shrek doll. "Master assassin but with some fashion. Bashing in heads for you-ou."
During the chorus' repeat, there were more dancing Avengers scenes, but also Widow shooting an attacker and Thor giving Loki a noogie. Also Thor hitting widow's ass with his hammer.
'Yeah we can light up the sky like nobody else. We're stopping all the bad guys, they're just overwhelmed. You say that you have an army, we have a Hulk. Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Avengers, Assemble!
"We are the ultimate fighting team brought together by S.H.I.E.L.D leader Nick Fury-"again 'Fury' was dancing on his own. "Let's kick the crap out of Thor's brother Lo-ki-" Thor stood behind Loki and hit him over the head with his hammer. Which was followed by a scene where Hawkeye shot the poor god with an arrow to the knee.
"Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Avengers Assemble!"
"Let's go-o-o."Widow sang.
"Avengers Assemble!
"Na nana na nana na nana na. Nananananananana mo-o-oves like Batman."Batman, Wonder Woman and Superman showed up onscreen, which made the 'Avengers' scoff.
"Baby I once jumped real far on my motorbike."Captain sang to Widow.
"I am the God of Thunder- I said God that's right." Thor boasted.
"I slept with twelve PlayBoy Bunnies, in one night."Iron Man kissed her hand.
"Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Avengers Assemble!
"Yeah we can light up the sky like nobody else. We're stopping all the bad guys, they're just overwhelmed. You say that you have an army, we have a Hulk. Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Avengers, Assemble!
"We are the ultimate fighting team brought together by S.H.I.E.L.D leader Nick Fury. Let's kick the crap out of Thor's brother Lo-ki-"This time the poor bastard was hit over the head with a chair. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Avengers Assemble!"
"Let's go-o-oh."
"Avengers Assemble!"
"Let's go-o-oh."
"Avengers Assemble!"there was a group shot before the credits started to roll.
Laughter and applauses filled the room. Loki had his arm around Darcy and held her close. "It's not over yet folks!" she said.
"How the Hell did you do this kiddo?" Tony asked.
"My friend Angie makes video's with this guy Chad- they've done a couple of parodies already. They mentioned their Batman one here- Moves like Batman instead of Moves like Jagger? Anyway, I wrote up the song and got them to put it together. Now shut up and watch."
The guy that played Fury came onscreen. "There's room for one more on the Avengers." He said. "So tell me, do you want to join our boy band?!"
Chad- who was dressed as Wolverine this time, appeared. "You're damn right." He growled before singing: "'Cause Avengers Assemble! X-Men too! And Wolverine-" one of his 'claws' flew off his fingers. "Woah!"
"And that's all she wrote folks." Darcy smirked.
There was a bit more laughter and the rest of the night continued. Eventually Darcy was yawning and more than a little tipsy. "I shall escort you home." Loki whispered in her ear.
"Mm'kay." She giggled and took his offered hand, almost falling over.
"Brother!" Thor called- quite hammered (no pun intended) "You must tap dat ass! Did I say that right?" he questioned Tony.
"You said it perfectly Thor." The billionaire laughed.
"Yeah, get some Loki!" Darcy laughed. "Seriously, come and get some."
Loki shook his head and he and Darcy evaporated into the shadows. They re-appeared in her apartment where he treated her as a doll- removing her shoes, unzipping her dress and laying it on a chair.
"At least start stripping too." Darcy complained, unbuttoning Loki's shirt.
"I'm afraid my dear we can't." He smiled softly. "Not in your condition."
Darcy snorted, but allowed him to dress her in her comfy sweats and tank top, placing her glasses on her nightstand. "At least spend the night." She pouted. "I want my cuddle buddy."
Loki sighed lightly and with a wave of his hand he wore his own sweat pants (but that was all- he may as well spend the night with his Lady) and climbed into bed after her.
"If you could do that, how come you didn't to me?" Darcy asked, yawning.
"Then I wouldn't get the pleasure of undressing you." He smirked. "Goodnight, my fair lady."
But Darcy was already snoring.
Bravo! Bravo! Go check out the Avengers Assemble music video created by screenteamshow on YouTube (I was not paid to write this- just inspired by the song) I tried to describe what happens, but watch it to get a better idea.
Also search the One Direction parody that I mentioned.
Thank you so much for reading- this was only meant to be a quick DarcyxLoki fluffy fic- somehow I got over 4, 000 words out of it :S
I kinda wanna be in the Super Secret Boy Band now… ;D Leave a review- I love them. PM me for any issues or requests.
Lots of Love! –Zelda2h2