Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis

***o***

"It's going to be okay." Eddie repeated in a hushed voice, over and over again, in her ear. Patricia didn't respond. She continued to let the warmth of the tea in her hands tickle the bottom of her chin as she stared absentmindedly at the blank, white wall of their kitchen. As another tear rolled down her cheek, and a quiet sob escaped her mouth, Patricia shook her head. She couldn't possibly imagine it being okay. The entire situation seemed unfixable.

Eddie let out a sigh, and tightened his hold around her waist from behind her. Leaning his head on the back of her shoulder, Eddie closed his eyes, and simply allowed Patricia to dwell in the moment. He didn't know what she wanted him to do to comfort her. He just was unsure of himself at the moment. He hated, so much, to see her so upset. It broke his heart to see her crying, and made him blame himself for something that maybe he could have prevented. And even if he couldn't have, he would have tried, tried so hard.

"Eddie?" Patricia's voice came out as a hoarse squeak, forcing her to bite her lip shortly after talking to keep from crying.

"Yeah?" Eddie placed his lips gently to her neck, stroking his fingers through her hair.

"Come here." Eddie didn't argue that he was practically on top of her – he knew what she meant. Un-raveling his arms from around her, he moved around her tired body that was leaning against the counter. He brushed away a tear from the corner of her eye with his thumb.

"I'm here." Patricia's lip quavered, as she leaned in for a hug. A real one. Eddie gratefully allowed her to fall into his arms, and cry onto the shoulder of his sweatshirt.

"Maybe I've still got some… mum hormones left in me." As she lifted her head up from his shoulder, Patricia wiped her eyes, and allowed a smile to cross her lips.

"Yeah maybe." Eddie whispered, tucking a piece of her red hair behind her ear. He wasn't in the mood to deny anything she was willing to smile about. "Look, I know it's not fair. But, you've been like this for the past week. Please, Patricia, is there anything I can do to make you feel better? To stop this?"

"Eddie. It's 5:30. He was supposed to be born, one week ago. I was supposed to be home with a little baby in my arms. I – I know I don't seem like an emotional person. But, I've changed. This is different, I loved him, and he's gone. I spent nine months watching him grow, and- and I didn't get to even hold him." A lone tear ran down Patricia's cheek.

"I know I miss him too. I loved him just as much as you did. But, it's not your fault. We can try again Patricia! I promise."

"No." Patricia's demand came out hoarse. "I never want children. It was a stupid thing to want anyways. Why do we need children? I don't. I'm perfectly happy the way I am. I don't want to try again."

"Okay." Eddie watched her stalk to the couch, and wrap herself in a blanket, burying her face into the warm material. "I understand."

"Do you want children?" Patricia asked, her voice muffled.

"Of course. Don't you want our home to be full of happy, lively kids? Don't you want to watch them grow up?" Eddie rested his elbows on the counter, and bit into a green apple.

"Not if they aren't given the opportunity." She spat back venomously.

"Yacker." Eddie pleaded. He absolutely despised her recent feelings. One moment she was sad, and then angry, and then sad once more, and it was torture for him to watch her like that. "This isn't fair, I know. But maybe you'll see life isn't always going to turn against us."

"But life turned against him! He wasn't given a chance… not even one actual breath of air. I'm never going to get over him Eddie. I loved him. He was supposed to be ours." Tears burned her eyes and stung her cheeks as they escaped. "I wanted his name to be Logan, and I wanted him to have your hair and my eyes and I wanted him to be witty and sneaky and cute and perfect, and, and I just really miss him, that's all."

"I know baby, I miss him too. And you're right; he would've been absolutely perfect." Eddie grabbed her from behind, wrapping his arms underneath her legs, and placing a kiss on the top of her head. "He would've had your gorgeous eyes, and you know I would've let you name him Logan." Patricia nodded lightly at his words. "But maybe this happened for a reason." Eddie placed a hand on her stomach, trying not to be disappointed when he wasn't greeted with a kick from their son.

"No." Patricia shook her head. "It wasn't supposed to happen. It's like when you play Life and one of the kid's falls out of the car, and then you can't find it because it's so small, and-"

"And then you give up on being upset and stressed over that one and grab a new one from the box?"

"That's not funny." Patricia pushed him away, burying her face in her hands again.

"Okay, I'm – sorry." Eddie hesitantly rubbed his hand across her back. "I'll do anything to make it up to you. I just miss your laughter, and childish pranks, and… kisses."

"Stop blaming yourself." Patricia demanded quietly.

"What?"

"I said, stop blaming yourself!" Patricia burst. "It's not your freaking fault Eddie so stop saying it is! It's mine. It's entirely my fault so stop covering up for me!" Patricia stormed into their bedroom, and slammed the bedroom door behind her, leaving Eddie gaping at her words.

"Yacker!"

"I said shut up!" She yelled through the door.

"Is that why you're so upset?" Eddie asked through the door, leaning his head against the frame. "Because you're blaming yourself?"

"I should've gone to the hospital earlier, or tried harder, or taking better care of him. I shouldn't have eaten of all of that crap, but I couldn't help it. I was craving it, and-" As she continued to talk, Eddie fidgeted with the door lock, using a spare bobby pin of hers. (They were lying all over the house.)

"Dear God Patricia." Once he was inside, Eddie scooped her up and held her close. "It's never been your fault. Never say that again, never, ever, ever." He tightened his hug around her, and buried his face into the crook of her neck. He felt her wrap her arms against him too, both of them refusing to let go. "I want you to know, that you can't blame anyone for it. And you are the last person to blame. I didn't mean to blame myself, and I am upset about it, but I can't possibly say that it's anyone's fault that he was stillborn."

Eddie lightened his hold against her, and continued on when she didn't respond. " Did you know I almost lost you too?" His voice was quiet as he told her this for the first time since he found out that it was possible he would be leaving the hospital without the two most important people in his life at his side. "And if I had, I know I would never have stopped blaming myself. I can't live without you. And I know that you loved him, we both did, but if I had to choose between you two, I could never let you go."

"That's absolutely awful." Patricia muttered into his shoulder. "You wouldn't want to watch him grow up?"

"Not without you. I couldn't look at him and be reminded of his mom."

"And if I hadn't made it and he had?"

"Then I'd be glad to look at him and see you. I'd be thankful. But you made it instead of him. He gave barely anything to save his mom. But I know you would've given up everything you have to save him. It might be mean to say this, but I'm so damn glad you didn't." He squeezed her again, placing a kiss on her messy auburn hair. "Seriously Yacker, me? A single dad?" He smiled, "you know I need you, or the kid would be out of control."

"You definitely wouldn't be the best guardian." She smiled back at him, for the first time in a week, showing her white teeth, and gleaming eyes as she brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Want to go down town for breakfast?"

"Yeah." Eddie placed a light kiss on her lips before she walked away to get a shower.

***o***

The cold air slashed against their faces, and both Eddie and Patricia snuggled into their coats, keeping a firm grasp onto each other's hands. It was the first time since they left the hospital, still childless, that Patricia had gone into public, and to be honest she was growing increasingly nervous.

Her eyes widened when she walked into their favorite downtown café, and saw her old principal seated at a small round table, calling both of their names out, and flailing his hand about, motioning them towards him. "You invited your dad?" She spat, releasing their hand hold and starting to walk back towards the door.

"Patricia." Eddie grabbed onto her arm, and caught her eye. "I want to talk to him, and you need to stop isolating yourself from human civilization."

"I've talked to you." She countered.

"No. You've been crying to me, and yelling at me for the past week. He's your family now too. Just one hour. Please Yacker."

"I hate you." Patricia growled, crossing her arms and stalking further into the restaurant and plopping down in the seat next to Mr. Sweet.

"Is everything alright?" Mr. Sweet asked.

"Fine." Patricia growled, pulling Eddie down next to her.

"Patricia I know that you're ups-"

"I didn't invite you here." She snapped.

"So maybe she's not feeling as great as I told you she was on the phone." Eddie rubbed her back. "Sorry." Patricia leaned into his chest, closing her eyes, and holding onto him. Just to show Mr. Sweet that she was much more Eddie's, than he would ever be.

"Oh it's fine." He smiled lightly. "You two have been going through a lot recently, I'm well aware."

As the two men continued to talk, Patricia looked around her surroundings. Besides the few elderly couples towards the back, families were scattered around them. At one table, a teenage girl and her father sat talking contently to each other. She had always pictured Eddie being the type of father who would take his kids out to breakfast early in the mornings while she slept, it was just something he enjoyed doing. She smiled lightly at the thought before turning her attention to another table, where two mothers attempted to talk while their babies tugged on the necklaces around their necks, and their young children shrieked in delight and ran around in circles, toys in hands. But the thing that broke her heart was when she heard the door chime and turned her attention towards the new customers. She couldn't help but feel jealous as a young couple, roughly her age walked in. The man's hand was placed on his wife's (or so Patricia assumed they were married) back, as she rocked their newborn baby, wrapped in blankets, lightly.

"I want a family." Patricia blurted out, whipping her head from the young couple back to the direction of her husband and father-in-law. Eddie stopped what he was saying to his father and turned to face her, mouth gaping.

"You want a what?" Eddie's smile grew wider as he pressed to her hear say it again.

"A family." Patricia breathed out again, a smile crossing her lips too. "I really, really want a family."

"I knew the idea would warm up to you." Eddie placed a sloppy, coffee tasting kiss on her lips, and then took her into a quick hug.

"You two need to go to a doctor first." Mr. Sweet took a sip of tea, and then wiped his mouth with a handy handkerchief from his pocket.

"Excuse me?" Patricia demanded, glaring at him.

"A lot of couples who suffer with stillborn children aren't able to bear anymore afterwards." Mr. Sweet bit into his scone.

"You're lying." Patricia accused, glancing over at Eddie for his thoughts.

"It's not really…a bad idea."

"What?" Patricia turned to him, and stood up angrily. "What?" She repeated. Eddie raised his hands in surrender. "You seriously want me to walk into an environment I'm not used to, sit near a genius I don't know, and talk about our personal lives?" She continued on, ignoring the several customers who were staring at them. "I'm not going there to hear them say the same thing he did." She pointed at his father. "I don't want them to go tell us we can't have a family and then get upset at us when we do anyway. Absolutely not."

"Babe-"

"No! I refuse."

"Do you want the same thing to happen all over again?" Eddie burst, immediately regretting even bringin up their recent experience.

"Not to interrupt, but how about you pay a visit to Miss Jaffray?" Mr. Sweet smiled and let out a chuckle. "Or Mrs. Clarke, as of three months ago. That way you can talk to someone you know. I'm sure Mara would be happy to do anything to help you out."

"Stay out of this Eric!" Patricia turned to him, emotions running through her eyes. "I hate you. And you!" Patricia turned to Eddie. "I thought you actually wanted a family."

"I-I do." He stammered.

"So you're going to take advice from the man who deserted you and left you broken and upset, and turned you into a rebel? Are you seriously going to do that?"

"Yacker-"

"Just save it." She grabbed her coat and purse from the back of her chair in one swift movement. "I'll see you at home." She turned on her heel and stormed out of the café.

"That went well." Eddie sighed defeatedly, lying his head on the table, and letting out a groan.

***o***

A/N: So what did you think? I'm not really used to doing anything sad or argumentative, but I had this idea in my head. At first it was a lot shorter, but I edited it and blah, blah, blah, left it at a sort of cliff hanger. So just let me know if you'd like a follow up chapter. Possible two, maybe, maybe, three shot?

Also, I have a Poll up on my home page for the next mulit-chapter Peddie story you want me to do! Don't forget to vote, I'd love to hear your thoughts! :)

Speaking on votes, What A Boyfriend Should Do was nominated for the Wikipedia House of Anubis Homepage and it WON! I owe so much to you guys, and I want to thank absolutely anybody who voted and made it possible. I love you all! Here's the link: wiki/House_of_Anubis_Wiki The featured fanfic is on the right column, and if you scroll down further you can view tons of amazing facts and fun about our favorite TV show! Thank you so much everyone!

For all of you A Peddie Carol readers: I promise I am working on the epilogue. I've been kind of stuck on what to do, and I have different things written, I just need to look over them and actually chose something good.

Love you all!
~Grace