First Night, First Try

All I can think is: It's our first proper dinner together since we've been engaged and the first evening we've spent together and maybe we might even kiss for the first time and if I even have to breathe then I'll go into a hysterical fit of excitement so don't move an inch, Beatrix.

I sigh.

But it's not a romantic candlelit dinner for two — it's a family dinner and Kai's whole family had to come along.

I tear bits off a dinner roll, internally fuming and buttering each bit with single strokes of a butter knife while rowdy table-time chatter plays out all around me.

Leonhard is trying to displace his vegetables from his plate; Bruno is caught between telling him off and retrieving Kai's napkin with the tip of his boot; Licht is borderline flirting with my mother and sister, and said sister is only five years old; Kai is eating in near silence; Adele is calculating the odds of a successful escape attempt under the table; Maria is chatting with my mother, and Professor Heine is watching the whole debacle with wary caution, likely being the only sane person at our little gathering. Although I don't exactly know why he's here — my cousins seem to drag him along to whatever they're doing in the way that you snag your favourite scarf as you head out the door.

The only person missing isn't even a person: it's the princes' dog, Shadow. And there's also the king, but there's more chance of the dog showing up than His Majesty.

Well, there went my potential date night!

I take a deep breath and steel myself. As usual, I jumped at the slightest chance of a romantic encounter with my fiancée and it blew up on my face. Beatrix von Lothringen: Exhibit A of an exercise in futility.

I'm sitting next to Kai, I tell myself. Next to him. The only bright side of what has shaped up to be a disastrous evening: I didn't hear that the princes were coming until their carriage was in the driveway; I didn't have the chance to change into a dress and literally got caught in my brother's clothes while cleaning out the stables; I broke the garden gate in my rush to get back to the house; and I didn't have the chance to sneak into the kitchen and help with the cooking — ugh!

I stab the table with my butter knife and it twangs back and forth, embedded three inches into the wood. Yet another missed opportunity to show Kai my feminine side!

Bruno stares at me in alarm from across the table. 'Beatrix?'

I smile brightly. 'My hand slipped. You know, butter.' I wave my fingers. 'Slippery.'

'Oh, right.'

I refrain from stabbing the rest of the cutlery into the table and making a mini forest of silver in reply to his blasé answer. I turn to Kai instead.

'How is it? Good?'

He glances at me, and smiles. 'Mm. Good.'

Then his attention is taken by Leonhard, and if I wasn't in company then I'd slam my head on the table. When Kai talks, he's lovely…

But he never talks! my internal voice shrieks.

Well, with one exception. To hammer in the final nail in my coffin of anguish, I finger the napkin in my lap and mutter, '…The linens are rather soft, aren't they?'

Kai snaps to attention and clenches his fists, nodding emphatically. 'Mm! Yes, soft!'

With a weary smile, I entertain a mostly one-sided conversation about the napkins for a few sentences, before letting it die out, whereupon Kai returns to his plate and polishes off his dinner.

As the wine runs dry and the plates run empty, the table clears, with the children scattering to the four winds to play and the adults retreating to their parlours and smoking rooms.

I get up with a clatter and push my chair in, Kai following suit. He's overwhelmingly tall, even to the point of making my tall frame look short.

Like so many other little things, it prompts the wish: We would make such a perfect couple!

I sigh. I've been sighing a lot this evening. This time it's at the prospect of having to play tiddlywinks and games of snap with the little kids. They're dears, and that sort of thing is fun, but it only serves as salt in the wound when Kai and I could at least have had some semblance of a romantic evening.

I could at least have been wearing a dress.

We walk towards the open door of the den, and yet a creaking and slamming outside pulls us both up by a window.

I cuss, then grimace, because nice girls don't cuss and that's yet another mark against me.

'Is the gate broken?' Kai asks.

The gate in question swings in the wind, banging against the garden fence every now and then.

I nod and head for the door, saying over my shoulder, 'It broke earlier today. I jammed it shut but it's not staying.'

And you basically admitted to breaking the gate — smooth, Beatrix, smooth.

'I'll come with you.'

Startled, I look up to see Kai at my back. I take my coat off its hook and open the door. 'You don't have to.'

I open the door. We both grimace. It's freezing.

And my coat is more of a jacket in this temperature, but I'll go regardless, I suppose. Suddenly, another jacket is dumped onto my shoulders.

'Waah…?'

Kai shrugs his heavy overcoat on and pushes the door open further. 'Leonhard's. He won't mind.'

'On the contrary, I think he will mind!' I protest, but Kai merely tugs the hood over my head — what on earth — and we squeeze out the side door into the frosty evening.

We walk, wandering at no particular speed, yet heading for the gate.

Vague thoughts tick in my head. Irritation at the broken gate. Wariness on account of the extra jacket. It's a nice shade of blue, yet trimmed with lace and fur to the point that it looks absurdly feminine. Who chooses Leonhard's clothes?!

Wait.

Kai and I are walking. Taking a walk. Alone and at night with a full moon and stars in the sky and in a garden!

I skid to a halt and nearly scream with excitement.

Well, technically in a garden — we're almost to the garden gate.

My excitement unravels like a decorative garland. Exactly that: we're almost to the gate.

We're already at the garden and Kai's already at the fence, fiddling with the gate's hinges, and I'm standing there like an idiot. That was over quickly.

Kai's brow creases as he struggles with the gate. I laugh guiltily. 'Sorry, that was my fault.'

He nods — which makes me grimace, even though he was just nodding in general, because way to go Beatrix, you broke the gate — and he pushes it shut again.

It falls open again. .

Repeat repeat repeat —

Kai finally gives up on the civilised approach and slams it shut, which rips the gate off its hinges and sends it to the ground with a crash.

We wince.

We look at each other. Then back at the house.

'Oops?' I venture.

Kai gives me a hesitant smile. 'Sorry?'

I choke back a laugh. Oh my goodness, he's cute when he smiles.

I wave a hand and shake my head. 'You tried. Thank you. We can get the gardener to fix it.'

Kai nods and props the gate against the fence, glances around, then turns to walk back to the house.

'Wait!'

Startled, he turns back.

I freeze like I've been dealt a bad blow in a game of musical chairs. 'I mean... you want to... walk? Or something?'

Please please please please please don't —

He nods.

I blink.

And he takes my arm in his, mainly because because I was still frozen with my hand outstretched like a ship's figurehead.

It's not that cold anymore.

I'm stunned. We're walking. Outside. At night. Together. Alone.

The sentence fragments pile up like glittering sweets in a candy jar, like filling a glass of lemonade until I'm positively overflowing.

I make some kind of noise and squeeze his arm, laughing for no reason. It takes him by surprise, but he smiles, hesitantly at first, but then more, the defined edges of his teeth, the softness of his eyes.

The moon breaks and melts the clouds, spattering the oil-painted sky with glowing flecks of white gauche paint, lighting the grounds with moonlight.

Kai sits. And I realise that I couldn't flop down beside him like I just did if I was wearing a skirt. Ha!

And because you only live once, I rest my head on his shoulder.

My face feels like it's on fire.

Yet he turns and nuzzles into my hair, breathing in the scent as we watch the stars cycling in the slowest motion. I can't even remember what shampoo I used last. Rose? Or lavender? Either way, he seems to like it. To like me.

Yet I can't keep it simple. I fidget, lick my lips, and look for something to say. But all that's been in my head this evening is Kai, dinner, Kai, date, Kai, kiss, Kai, kiss, Kai, Kai, Kai, and I blurt out, 'Have you ever kissed anyone before?'

Oh sugar cookies.

Oh sugar cookies what have I done.

I stammer, flushing wildly, panicking, stuttering like a scratched record because what just came out of my mouth —

'Yes.'

'Oh.'

He ticks them off on gloved fingers. 'Adele. My brothers. My father. Shadow.'

'You include the dog in the same category as your family members? Wait — you kiss your dog?!'

He stares at me in bewilderment. 'Yes?'

I can't help it — I laugh until my sides ache. 'Not family members or pets, I-I meant… boy-girl kissing.'

Kai blinks. He considers it. 'No. You?'

I stop. 'No.'

We can't take our eyes off each other.

And I think I left my sanity back in the house because I say, 'You want to try?'

Kai nods. And we kiss.

I don't even have time to work myself into a state or anything, or to reflect on how simple things are, how we're only seventeen.

Because it just… happens. Just like that.

I can't speak from experience, but if Kai is anything to go by... silent types are really good kissers.

My brain kicks in and my eyes widen. The softness, our hands touching on the grass, holding my breath while desperately hoping I'm doing something right.

We break it off. Catching our breath, our eyes wide with wonder.

His lips curve in a half-smile. Lips that taste like soap and tea and sweetness. 'Good?'

'Good. Great.' I shake my head and look him in the eyes. 'Fantastic.'

Kai hesitates, then touches a finger to my lips. '…Soft.'

I arch an eyebrow and say, 'So have I finally sold you on this whole kissing business?' then I burst out laughing.

He smiles. 'Mm.'

The realisation hits me in the aftermath — we kissed like teenagers, but one day we'll have to kiss in front of half the kingdom at a royal wedding.

If anything, we'd be expected to practice.

But I want to, and that makes all the difference. It's with someone that I love. And I could practice over and over and over and still learn new things, still discovering new facets of this man beside me.

And with the synchronicity of soulmates, we go in again.

We catch each other's eyes while we talk with our mouths. We smile through the kiss.

I could get used to this. Undoubtedly.

An abrupt noise and we turn, kiss snapped in two like a string, to see Professor Heine standing a short distance away with a pronounced fiery blush on his features.

He coughs. He fingers his cheek, avoiding our eyes. 'My apologies, I... was asked to check where you were.' He glances up at the brightly-lit house. 'I'll let you get back to it, I, uh…'

He glances at us. 'We can see you from the house.'

Kai's eyes widen slightly. I flinch. 'Oh.'

A quick smile flickers on Heine's face. 'I just wanted to let you know.' He turns and walks off, talking over his shoulder. 'Expect a fair amount of attention when you get back. You have quite a few supporters.'

Kai and I look at each other. We raise our eyebrows. And burst out laughing.

And we follow Heine back to the house arm-in-arm, snatching a kiss on the way — and a window slams open. I hear a piercing wolf-whistle, which startles me into looking up and seeing Prince Licht lean out of the window with a grin.

'Licht!' Bruno yells.

'What?! I'm congratulating the happy couple!'

'They're not even married yet!'

Licht completely ignores Bruno and says, 'Nine-out-of-ten, you guys!'

'Why not a ten?' I yell back with good humour.

He winks and says, 'Because Kai isn't carrying you princess-style over the threshold!'

'What? Oh, I see — Kai!' I yelp, as he picks me up and carries me up the steps. 'This is mortifying, please put me down! I'm not even a… princess!'

'Well…' He tips his head to the side and considers. He glances at me. 'Not yet, anyway.'

Rowdy cheering erupts from the window, and I don't think Kai even realises what he really said.

'Oh dear me…' I peek through my fingers with an embarrassed smile, and Kai gives me a crooked half-smile in return. On the other hand… may be he does know.

'Nine-point-five, you guys!' Licht jokes.

'Why do we not have the remaining zero-point-five — what more do you want?' I demand.

'Wellll…' Licht rapidly checks items off on his fingers with an infuriating lilt to his voice, 'It would be even better if you were wearing a wedding dress and the two of you were stepping inside your new home to spend your first night of wedded bliss together—'

'LICHT!' Bruno hauls him down from the window, saying, 'Keep it to yourself!'

'And who says I'll be wearing a dress at my wedding?!' I yell, storming inside to sort my younger cousin out personally.

'That was chaste! Get off of me already! I could have been wishing them luck with—'

'Will you shut up already?!'

'Seconded!' I glance back at Kai, and to h_ with convention and propriety — I place a hand on my hip and grin confidently, saying, 'Your future sister-in-law herself commands it!'

The End

A/N: Reviews welcome, and thanks for reading!