Hello. This is a one-shot, and songfic based on the song "Unbreakable" by Westlife. I loooove Mark Feehily, and the song's message as well. BTW, the song parts are a little bit in the middle because I made an intro sort. The lyrics are scattered and were separated from each other. Well, here it goes.
Summary: After the match with Ryoma Echizen, Akutsu leaves the tennis team. Soon after, Riann leaves for her grandparents' shack. It was winter and Akutsu was frantic. Riann would make a move and it would lead to a tragic series of events. Will their love be proven unbreakable, despite what they will go through?
Pairing: Jin Akutsu x OC.
Hope you like it.
Akutsu was sitting by the clubhouse benches. He does not know if the decision he made was right. After his match with the prodigy Ryoma Echizen, he decided that his career at tennis had reached its end. All were at shock, and even after he left, they made a few talks. Dan was the only one to approach him and he gave him an advice. Dan is aspiring, and he will do better if he follows Echizen, not him. And that was the last time he saw a member of the team. Not even Banji tried to halt him. He knew that Akutsu could decide on his own.
Akutsu remembers how tears streamed Dan's face. He knew that the little boy had liked him since Banji brought him in. The little boy would always follow him around, and he once confessed his adoration and feelings toward him. He even asked for Akutsu's hair band after he threw it away. After the confession, though, it was as if nothing happened. Akutsu was still cold to Dan and to everyone else as well.
All of these changed when he met Riann. She is a cheery girl who just wanted to be accepted in the society. She was born in America and was raised there until she was five. She spent the next years in Japan. She was the simple type, she lets her hair flow down her back, she does not wear make up, and what Akutsu somehow liked about her, she does not wear short skirts, or sleeveless blouses. Everyday that she comes to practice, Akutsu would see her wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, paired with rubber shoes or flippers, and a small bag.
The first time they met, she was studying in a no-so-known school, but ever since she got to like Akutsu, she went to school less frequently for she would rather spend her time in Yamabuki. Because of him, he thinks, she pleaded to be transferred. And so, a month after they met, they became schoolmates. She started showing up during practice. She would watch them, and would be at awe at their excellence. At first, he was irritated, but there was something in this girl that hooked him and brought him to a point of no return. He started to appreciate her presence, and his teammates would often find him distracted if she is not around. Two weeks later, he started to like her.
All the joys and sorrows that the team had gone through, the two of them would face together. They do not officially call themselves a couple, they both do not favor the idea, but aside from the name, they are a couple indeed. Sometimes Akutsu would go by her house, or rather, sneak in and they would chat until they grow tired. Akutsu has not met her parents before, and was surprised at how her parents greeted him one day. He was accepted in the family. After the said event, he had the guts to tell his mother about Riann. She accepted her, too. Since then, they were freely seeing each other.
And until now, when he decided to quit tennis, she was sitting beside him, not minding how quickly it was getting dark outside. She always understood. That time, his heart was filled with so many emotions, and it was as if an anchor had fallen on it. His eyes started to get watery, for even though he does not show it, he had found his family in the team, and it was so difficult to leave them hanging. Sensing his frailty, she took his hands, which were dead cold, and entwined hers with it. He felt his hands start to get warm. She moved closer, and rested her head on his muscular shoulders. They stayed there until he was ready.
I opened my eyes slowly, and just as I opened it, I closed it again. The sunlight that was coming inside my room seared my eyes. This was the first day that I woke up late enough to be caught by the sun still asleep. Oftentimes, or should I say, before, in a daily basis, my mother would knock hard on my door and fire off words that sounded nothing more than gunfire to me. She had not protested about Riann and me, but now, she would tell me things that I find unpleasant that I drag myself up and out the door just for her to shut her mouth up.
I tried to sit, but it seems that all of my energy had been drained. Well, it is partly true. I would be woken up early, and I would stay up late calling the number Riann gave me. All those days, she never answered. Her family went somewhere to visit her grandparents. She never told me where it was, the only thing she said is that it is reachable via land transportation. They would be gone for a month or two, she said. It had only been a week, but to me, it seemed like a thousand eternities. I am becoming desperate, yet I know that I have to be patient. She promised that she would return, and she will never break it.
I dragged myself up, and noticed, after almost a year of neglecting it, how pale I was, and of how paler I looked when the sun strikes his rays on me. I sat by the side of the bed, still not ready to start my day. I bury my face in my hands, and felt how cold they were. I remember the time you took my hands when they were cold, when we were at the clubhouse, while I gathered my things, and said goodbye to anything that might miss me, if ever one thing would. I remember how you touched my heart with words that meant the world to me. Those words that were simple, yet as how you uttered them they seemed to be part of a wonderful poem or of a majestic song. You told me things that I would never hear if I did not come across your way. You held me close so close that all the coldness that surrounded me vanquished in an instant and was replaced by warmth. You were always there, by my side as the first group of tears found its way down my cheeks. You told me that I will be seeing them everyday for we are still studying in the same school, and I started to feel less downhearted. I tried to make an excuse, tried to go independent, tried to leave, tried to go out and get some fresh air. You did not stop me. I went out, smoked a cigarette, and after a few seconds, you were right beside me again. Your cheeks had tears to. I wiped them and hugged you. You told me again that I need to move on, for they will be showing me their smiles next week, yet I stayed firm, thinking that you did not understand me, and told you that I will stay. I also said that if you do not want to stay with me, you can go. And to my surprise, you did. You were not mad; you just decided that it would be the best. Before you left, you gave me a light hug, and you said that you would be thinking of me night and day.
She had stayed by my side through it all.Whenever she fails to come to practice, she would be following me around apologizing until I squeeze her tight and tell her that I am not mad. If she failed to accompany me somewhere, she would prepare lunch and give it to me. I would be filled again by apologies and good food.
Friends, or even just people who know me, knows that I am short tempered. I often get mad if they do stupid things, repetitive things, or things that just would not work with me. Have she irritated me with her million apologies? Maybe. [Baby] Come what may, I always find myself melting like butter on a hot pan. I am the person who would shout at other people, I would command them like robots, I would tear them like paper, and I would forget them like problems. No person had been close enough to me to receive a different treatment. But that was long ago. Because of Riann, I have appreciated life a little. She helped me open up my heart a bit to let some air in. My patience started to lengthen, though shouting can never removed from my dictionary, and I was swept away on a wave of emotions, too, such as happiness and sorrow.
Oh, we're caught in the eye of a storm and I do not fear even by a bit. Everything's fine and it will always be, as long as you are with me. Now, how could I say that I'd be fine if you are off at your grandparents' house? I'd be thinking of the same thoughts every hour, and nothing replied except for silence. Everyday that passes would lead to my self, losing the warmth that you provided. The void in my heart is spurting out the cold. Whenever you held my hand, I feel my insides tingle, and whenever you smile, I feel warm all over. I feel like a phoenix, reborn and fresh from the flames. Each time I look into your deep-set, brown eyes, it felt as if I was being lured by the unfathomable ocean, yet I felt no danger. It was like looking down from the hundredth floor of a building and finding the colorful world below without fear. Each time you hug me tight, even when you say that you have no reason for doing it, I can hardly believe that you're mine.
I remember the letter, the letter that I secretly placed in Riann's room, in her travel bag, specifically, which I promptly labeled as 'Read Only if You Miss Me so Much'. I know that it was far too silly, and she would probably open it any time she sees it. Well, I hope would like it, for it was pretty hard for me to do something so 'cheesy' like that. I am not that type of guy. And I have a heart. I look outside through my bedroom window and wonder what she is doing now.
It has been a week since Riann and her parents arrived at the old shack of her grandparents shack. It was located in the outskirts of Japan, and it was winter. She was wearing two layers of jackets, yet the cold seem to penetrate deep within her. It has been a week that they have been doing family stuff, As she gazed on the snow falling outside, she became bored.
She sighed and sought for something to do. She stood up and went to her room. Right. She saw her travel bags, which have still been in almost the same position that it has been when they arrived a week ago, She decided to unpack it. She organized her clothes and other stuff by the cabinet that her grandparents told her to use during their stay. As she stuffed the bag inside, she heard the sound of crunching paper. She retrieved her back from where it was stuffed and checked the pockets. To her surprise, she found a slightly creased enveloped. She placed it on top of the bedside table, and placed the bag back in the cabinet. She sat down on her temporary bed and took the letter.
It was a white envelope, and as she looked at the front, she saw something that caught her attention. 'Read Only if You Miss Me so Much'. By the way the words were written, scrawled and in a hurry, she knew that it was undeniably Akutsu's.
She was suddenly filled with sadness as she remembered her lover. It was a feeling of pain, but nonetheless, she opened the letter for she missed him. Missed him so much. And more than that.
Inside was the same scrawled writing. A scrawled writing that brought tears to her eyes.
this love is unbreakable, it's unmistakable
and each time I look in your eyes, I know why
this love is untouchable
a feeling my heart just can't deny
but each time you look in my eyes,
I know why this love is unbreakable.
I may not be seeing you today, but you are in my dreams
i may not be holding you close, but you are always in my heart.
She could not believe that Akutsu would write something like this. She did not even imagine him to miss her, not in a way that would make him do surprises.
She held the letter close to her heart. Tears of joy and sorrow flowed down her cheeks. She missed Akutsu a lot more. Keeping her head down, she noticed something.
She smelled the paper. It bore the scent of Akutsu. The scent that was still a mystery to Riann. She does not know if it was his perfume or if it was just him. She kept on asking him before, but he would just shrug and smile at her. And now the scent is with her again. could it be that Akutsu really left his scent here, something to remember him by?
Perhaps, was what Riann thought. would it not be the answer to that problem? Though Akutsu has a hard time expressing his feelings, he somehow managed to convey it through this letter. He knew that she loves him very much, and he wanted to return the favor.
"Yes, Jin-kun. This love is unbreakable." She said with a smile as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
It has already been three weeks. I wonder if you are thinking of me, if you still do. And I remember all the things we got into. All the things you have done, and all the emotions and feelings that you have shared with me the team.
Shared the laughter. You were there with the team, every time we outwit other tennis teams. You cheered every time one or two of us was inside the court, playing for the teams pride and victory. You would frown if we miss, you would smile if the opponents do. You would be jumping in joy as you hand us towels and drinks after a clean finish. You would walk with us after the tournament, all of us glad hearted for bringing home yet another batch of glory.
As we celebrate the victory somewhere, you would be calling your parents home and tell them that you will come home late. I think they always protested, but you had that certain charm that made them agree. You would stay with us late at night just to party and celebrate.
The whole team will start walking home together and bring a member home one by one. We are the last two to go home, we had the farthest homes, and every time you enter the premises of your home, I think I could see the bad look on your father's face. The next day, the team would consult you about what happened when you got home. You would tell the story, and in the end of the conversation, every one was laughing again.
Shared the tears. And every time we lose, you are like a fly that buzzes around each one of us. As we walk, you keep your head down, tears silently streaming down your face. Silently, each member of the team would excuse himself and head home, until only you and I were left. You tell me you would escort me home, but I refused. Said I could do it myself. With utmost depression and sadness in your eyes, you agreed and watched me go, leaving you alone.
You know that each one of us was crying, whether internally or externally. You would try calling each one of us, but we always hang up. You would spend the rest of the day thinking of a plan to cheer us up. You would be filled with sorrow and dread as the night goes deep and still not a single idea crossed your mind.
But just like a wizard had lived in your place and charmed you back to life, the next day, when I come back to school, and often times I come late, each of the members were wearing smiles again. I would ask you how you do it, and it was your turn to shrug and smile at me.
By the lunch, I would not find the members by the school canteen, and when I search around, I would always find them with you, eating merrily. As I pretend not to notice you, you would call me, and I would be forced to eat with you. Each time, I would taste good food, and I would look at you. You would smile at each one of us, and tell us that there is still a next time, and with that, all will be exuberant with practice, as if nothing happened.
Remember when our love was challenged by the weird schoolgirl near Yamabuki? Well, I am always fucking bothered by that event. Yet, it always made me feel better at the same time, for I know that we really are strong.
One day as the schoolgirl took me by the arms and hugged me. That was after practice, and I was just done changing. I was waiting for you by the school gate. As you arrived, though I know that the schoolgirl did not know you were there, she took me by surprise and kissed me on the cheek. Good thing it was only on the cheek, or else I'd be suffering. All the time, as she blushed and hugged me once more, and left, you stood there, giving a straight, unemotional face. Ten seconds after she disappeared, you were still staring at me. I took a better grip of my bag and started to approach you.
"What. The. Hell." You muttered, and I stopped dead on my tracks. I thought that you would not be affected. I forgot that all we needed was a title and we'd be a couple.
"Don't give me that look. She's a fan girl."
"Ah. A fan girl. So fan girls kiss, too, despite the status of her idol? Never new that."
"Wait." I was chuckling. I approached you in a too cool walk.
You started walking, away from me, toward your home. "I said wait. Let me explain."
"Hmph." You continued walking.
As we were about half a kilometer away from school, where nobody was around to witness, I ran in front of you and knelt.
Well, of course, you were too serious to play with me that you just changed directions and continued.
I was getting mad now. I was not a fan of playing games.
"You are not thinking that I like her, are you?" I asked you as I stood up and followed you, unable to hide the slight amusement in my voice.
You gave me a scary glance, which did not scare me, but rather made me chuckle again.
"What?" I asked you once again.
"What do you think?" You said it with sarcasm that made me regret my actions.
I went near you, so near that I know you could smell my scent. The scent that you have always asked me about. "I think that you think that I like her."
"And?" You looked somewhat impatient.
"And that you are jealous."
"Your eyes are sparkling. Seems that you like it."
"Like what?"
"You like me getting jealous of you and that fan girl for it proves nothing but I love you." You were trying to say it in an angry voice, but you were starting to smile. "And you love it every time you know that I love you."
"Of course I do." And I hugged you, so tight that it seemed as if you were gonna get squeezed.
"Ignore that girl, okay? She's nothing to me. Not even a fan girl. Actually, she irritates me. Unlike you…" I stopped as I saw the blush developing in your cheeks. "Okay. Just hold on to this thing that we have between us. Nothing would break us apart."
"Why—how can you say that?"
I scoffed. I don't know if you are acting innocent or if you just want me saying these words. "We both know we'll go on from here."
"Why did you say that?"
Oh, come on. Don't ask me too many questions; I am getting irritated with that. "'Cause together we are strong."
You smiled a precious, genuine smile. "Okay, let's get going."
As I took you home, I held your hand. Just to make sure that you won't leave me. And as we reached the door of your home, I held you close again, and hugged you once more before we depart for the day.
"It's not yet the end of the world. Why do you keep on hugging me?"
"Just wanna make sure that you're still with me."
You smiled again and went inside. I went straight home, smiling, for I hugged you twice in a day. I was becoming a bit too showy, but it made me feel better.
And remember the time when you stayed in the clubhouse, crying? I arrived at practiced and they told me about you. They said you stayed there for too long. Of course, I ran toward the clubhouse as fast as I can and as soon as I was inside, I threw my bag somewhere and knelt in front of you. "What's wrong?"
You kept on sobbing. "You won't understand."
"Of course I'll do." I handed you a handkerchief, and you promptly wiped the tears from your eyes.
You told me your story, of how your parents are in a not too good situation, and you said you feel that you do not belong in this world. I was ashamed of myself for I was not able to take in the things you were saying. I was preoccupied by some things, and I had a hard time catching up with your story.
I rubbed your back gently as you sobbed and cried again after telling your story. I told you that it was fine. It would be.
"You don't understand. I don't even belong anywhere, and you expect me to feel fine?"
"What about here, in Yamabuki?"
"The team has been kind enough to me, but… I still don't. You are a world away."
I was running out of excuses, when something popped out of my mind.
"I know."
"What?" You sobbed while saying it.
"In my arms, that's were you belong." I smiled, hoping to make you smile, too. Seeing that you stared at me badly, I added, "No, I was just… well… I did not mean it, it was…just a try to…cheer you up, which I failed in… and…"
I knew that I succeeded as you snuggled me. "Really?" It was half-innocent, half-sarcastic.
"Yep. I even think that I've been touched by the hands of an angel and I've been blessed by the power of love."
You started smiling now. "Eh? Where did all those words come from?"
"From my heart."
"You… have a heart?!"
You laughed, and though I know I was insulted, I laughed, too. Finally, I made you laugh after a dreadful day.
"Yes. And whenever you smile, I can hardly believe that you're mine."
"Me, too." You hugged me tight.
"Shall we get to practice then?"
"Yes, Kutsu-kun."
I narrowed my eyes on you. "Just don't call me that."
"Yes." You said with a giggle.
this love is unbreakable, it's unmistakable
and each time I look in your eyes, I know why
this love is untouchable
a feeling my heart just can't deny
but each time you look whisper my name
Oh baby, I know why
It has already been a month and three weeks. I am beginning to get impatient. My 'manners' returned again. I would shout at anyone, even my mother, if they get in my way. I would keep on calling Riann, yet the phone is always fucking busy. I once threw it in exasperation. It was good that my phone did not break, though. It was my only means of communicating with her, and losing it was almost like cutting the thin cord that connects us. This night, it was unusually cold. I don't know if the cold that surrounds me is from the physical or emotional world. Yes, it is winter, yet it has been more than a decade that my brawny body had needed those damn jackets and sweaters. This cold, it must be from the void that formed in my heart since she left. Once I thought that she had found another. It pulled my plug and I had to throw a dozen of tennis balls on poor tennis players from the street courts just to get the bad thought from my mind. As I stood by my bedroom window, I fished for her number from my contacts. I hesitated, for it is most likely that it is busy, or a receiver. It was always the fucking receiver. I want to hear her voice, not some damn receiver to relay my message to her. I took the chances, and pressed the call button. I looked outside, where no person is visible. They are all inside; probably they can't fight the cold, the biting cold outside. An instant later, it started to ring. Hello fucking receiver. Answer the phone. To my surprise, it was not the recorded voice of a female saying she's either busy or that she's not around, but a suave voice of a female came instead. "Hello?"
It was Riann. She answered the phone. "Hello? I am pretty busy now, so if you have nothing important to say, at least leave your name and I'll call you back when I get the chance."
Her voice was like cool water extinguishing the bad ideas that exploded in his heart. Her voice was all he needed. I was feeling better, and a lot more relieved to hear her voice, seeming safe. "Sorry. I really am busy so I'm gonna drop the—"
"Riann." It took so much of my efforts to avoid stuttering. The shock was still obvious, but it seems that only I can hear it.
"Jin?"
"Where [the hell] are you?" I tried to sound cool, calm, but I can't help saying the words, and to prevent her from hearing it, I had to say the hell mentally.
"I told you I'm over my grandparents' house."
"You said you'd be gone for a month"
"A month or two. Jin, I've still got a week."
"But I-" Damn. I can't do this touchy-feely stuff. "But I miss you."
I don't know how she reacted. She may have smiled, I'm not sure. But her next words were full of joy. "And I you."
I did not expect myself to be able to utter those words. Another of those first times. But, having said those words made my heart feel a ton lighter. I feel that she knows I'm being true to myself.
"Jin, I have to tell you something."
"What?"
"Promise me you'll stay calm."
Silence.
"Promise first or I won't tell it anymore."
"Okay."
"Well… We are having some problems here, and… my parents decided that we stay here for a year or so."
"A WHAT?!"
"Akutsu Jin, you told me you'll stay calm." I breathed a few times, looked out to get distracted and slow my heart rate down, and replied. "Sorry."
"I know it's being hard on you, so I just want to ask if…"
"If?"
"If you think it would be better if we…"
Silence. I waited patiently. "If we cut off this relationship temporarily. This way you would not long for me so much, and so will I. There'll be lesser burdens in our heart."
"So, you want us to forget about each other?"
"Jin, that is not what I meant. I thought that it could just be better if we had a cool off. We are not closing the relationship, just giving it a rest."
"Don't you love me? Have you found someone else?" The thoughts escaped from my lips on their own. I know that her next words won't be pleasant.
"Jin. I want you to know that I am having a very, and I mean VERY, hard time here. I cannot divide myself from family and you. I was banned from keeping my phone; I was banned from doing anything unrelated to family. They say that this is one of the scarce times we can go there, and we might as well get the most of it. Jin, every night I would stay up late, sometimes not get sleep, for I keep thinking of you. Your eyes, your pale skin, your smirk, your hands. I keep on thinking where the hell they placed this phone; I'd stay up late searching for it as they slept for I want to hear your voice. And now you are accusing me of something?"
She was so angry. Normally, she would say a word to three sentences, but this time, she said to much, and used a phrase that caught my attention. "I am sorry. I was wrong. I just—"
She sighed. "It's okay Jin. I'm sorry, too. You know that I am just too pressured. I cannot deal with this, and so with our relationship.
"But you love me, and I love you. Is that not a good enough reason to ease the pain and wait 'til we see each other again?"
"Jin, I hope things can be just that easy."
"No. This love will work out. This love is unbreakable, through fire and flame."
She gasped. "Jin."
"I know that you are shocked to hear this from me, so am I, but that just proves how much you have changed me. And that is another reason for me to fight this love. You are changing me, or helping me at the very least, to change for the better. I may not be the cool and hot-headed tennis player that they note, yet I still am Jin Akutsu, in a better way."
She was starting to sniffle.
"Don't cry."
"Yes. I am sorry. Jin, will this stop, the pain and suffering?"
"Yes. It will. Soon. And when all this is over, our love still remains, and it always will remain. I know it. We will cling on to this. We will fight for it."
"We can't and we won't. Not now. Goodnight, Jin."
"Please. Have mercy on me. I'd rather die than lose you."
"Please, Jin. This is enough. We are cutting off our relation ship first."
"No, please. I love you."
"I love you, too, Jin, but it really won't do." The other line went silent.
She does not love me anymore. The person, the only person, that I have developed a relationship with, now a part of my past. I would not accept this. I threw the phone to my bed, walked to the small drawer directly facing it, and took the small, fragile glass with my hands. Beer. Something to keep me occupied without hurting anyone. I did not even care to remember where it came from or how long it has been there, I just grabbed it and thanked it for being there. My hands shook so fast, and it started to numb. As I started to spin around, I did not feel my hands holding anything. I cannot feel my hands at all. Just then, the bottle of beer shattered to pieces, and splinters spread around the room. Out of nowhere, a voice was telling me to get the pocketknife from the said drawer. I did as I was told. I was made to slit my wrist. I did not feel pain. I was growing numb.
I noticed that a small pool of blood was forming below me. The slit that was supposed to ran only on my wrist stretched to my upper arm. Out of being numb, I absent-mindedly slashed and slashed my pale skin until I was losing too much blood. I, Akutsu Jin, would be feasting if only I was a vampire. I let the knife slip from my hands, and it hit the floor, blade-first. I walked back to the phone, spilling blood around my room, and said 'I Love You' to whoever the fuck was there. I felt utterly dizzy, and I slumped to the floor. I heard a very loud thud, but I am not sure if it was I, I did not feel anything major after dropping the bottle from my grasp.
This love is unbreakable
It's unmistakable
And each time I look in your eyes
I know why
'I love you, too, Jin, but it really won't do.' Riann's eyes were swelling with tears. She hated to leave Akutsu, yet she had to make a choice. She kept herself silent to reduce the sound of her sniffles to nothing. Akutsu might have interpreted the silence to be a line disconnection, for she heard him grunt, and a loud thud and crackling followed. She heard footsteps, probably Akutsu's, then the opening and closing of a drawer. What is he planning to do? She was alarmed when she heard the shattering of glass. The drawer opened and closed again. She heard almost discernible winces, or maybe she just imagined it. The sound of a knife hitting the carpeted floor, blade first, brought her heart's pace a dozen notches higher. The last thing she heard was the phone being picked up, a weak 'I love you' from Akutsu, and a loud thud on the floor.
Her heart pounding against her chest, Riann had to decide. It's either she'll break her family bonds or lose Akutsu forever. Of course, family always comes first, but what if the 'love' part would never come again once you let it slip away? What would she choose? Her future or her happiness?
She wanted a clue, a sign, or whatever, that can help her. Help her to decide, and quickly. She has little time before she comes to the point where there is no turning back. She tried persuading her parents, asking them to return and stay for just two days, even one. They stayed firm and said that she'll stay.
"Stay."
'I need to see Akutsu. I know that by the phone he said he'd wait for me, but I know that deep inside he is planning something.'
'What did you say, lady? P-H-O-N-E?!'
She had been screwed, her only secret discovered. And she has no reason believable enough, to use as an alibi, or to cover up her mess. She was caught, caught off-guard. She knew that now, even telling the whole truth won't hurt.
'Yes. The phone. I have been searching for it and found it inside—'
'How dare you, lady, disobey what your father have said?!' Her father was speaking in a harsh and loud voice, and his face was red with anger.
Her mother looked at both of them, then to her father with alarm.
'Father, I am begging you only for a day.'
'Don't you dare change the subject.'
'Please father. You know Akutsu. He has a lot of things up to his sleeve.'
His father contemplated for a while, then said, 'That is why I never trusted that twit.'
By the way her father used the simple word was still as strong as a nuclear missile. She was breaking apart. 'It's either you don't understand your daughter-no, you don't know your daughter, or you have been hiding your thoughts all this time, you have been plastic.
Her father turned redder. She thought for a moment that he was gonna hit her face so hard. The pain the slapping will cause won't match half of the current pain she is carrying now.
'Go! Go, Dad. Slap your fine little daughter that only wanted you to give her two days… TWO DAYS to fix some things that she left behind for you made her go somewhere else without allowing her to prepare for it. Slap your great daughter who fell in love with a guy who'd bring you trouble, with a guy that served as a bad influence to her, with a guy who you don't find suitable.'
Her father stopped because of her sudden ferocity.
'I have followed you Dad. I wanted to stay back in America, you took Mom and I here, where you work. Our life socially is fine, but emotionally, we are degenerating. You don't understand it for you don't feel it. Since we moved in, I only asked twice, for you to allow me to move to Yamabuki-hard to say, hard to do, but nonetheless given, and now, for you to allow me to talk to Akutsu before we stay here.'
'He does not need you tailing around him.'
'He needs me. He says that I am helping him to change for the better.'
'Here's the deal lady. No matter how much reasons you make WE are not going back. We are staying here with your grandparents.'
'Fine. If you don't want to come with me, I'll go back alone.'
'You are not leaving this house lady. Not 'til I tell you so.'
'And I will not be following orders from plastic people.' With that she dashed to her room, grabbed her bag, stuffed in some clothes, her valuables, her money, and phone. Her mother followed her inside. Her eyes were streaming with tears. 'Please, my child, let this pass. Your father is just having—'
'Some problems. He always-no, you always say that, Ma. But I, too, have my own problems. Did either of you care to understand them? No. So now, I won't be understanding your problems either.'
'Please, my child, don't.'
'Ma, I can't understand it. My emotions are spinning out of control, and Akutsu needs me. Father hinders me, and so do you. I don't know if I am imagining things, but I think you are hiding something from me.'
'My daughter, we are not.'
'Are you sure? You, Ma, may not be hiding anything. But what about Pa? He is hiding something from you. I am sure of that.'
With that, she left, wrapping herself with thick jackets as she faced the snowy regions of the forest like place that the Shack stood on. She walked 'til she was were people waited for a cab. At the sight of one, she quickly embarked and said her destination. She noticed how weird the driver was.
This love is untouchable
A feeling my heart just can't deny
But each time you whisper my name I know why
'cause each time I look in your eyes, oh baby
I forced my heavy eyelids open and I closed them again, like before. It was not sunlight searing it now, however, but rather the eye-damaging light of…the hospital.
I was filled with an emotion undistinguishable as I forced myself to sit. Too many wires, too many machines connected to my body. I am irritated again. I want to bang a tennis racket to the head of someone. Damn, I cannot understand what I feel. It's as if a vital organ has been removed from me. Could it be my heart, or my brain? Fuck it. Fuck my heart, brain, kidney, liver, whatever organ that is. My mother was sitting on a plastic chair beside the hospital bed, her head covered by her hands. After sensing that I was conscious, she looked at me with a face full of worry. I know that she had been through a lot of hardships now, and that includes me, but it would not be my fault if I was born her son. She kept on asking me questions, which I either answered with one word, or ignored. She asked me to eat, but my system refused. The voice of the newscaster caught my attention not soon after. I gently touched what was left of my cut earlier as I listened to the announcer.
"…the driver has been identified as Inoue Matsunaga, an escapee from Japan National Jail, who also showed positive results in an insanity test conducted a week before he escaped. Witnesses say that Matsunaga was running naked around the streets and called a cab. He took it to a dark street, and there, stabbed the unfortunate driver with a pocketknife. He was said to have taken the cab driver's clothes, and drove the car away from the city, leaving the driver for dead. One of the witnesses had the courage to follow Matsunaga, until they ended up on the snowy regions of Japan, by the forest, near an abandoned-looking shack…"
"Snowy regions…Japan…Shack…" Thoughts were forming in my mind.
"…said that a girl no more than sixteen rode the cab, and they sped of. After getting his customer, he drove haphazardly now, driving in zigzags and taking dangerous turns. The snow got thicker, and the witness was having a hard time following them. To the witness's surprise, Matsunaga drove the cab over a cliff, which led to the tragic death of the passenger, who was later identified as…"
"…Riann Mellbournne…" The newscaster said, and I felt drained of everything I ever had. I was daydreaming, right? I have heard wrong, that's what it is. She is not dead. She told me she would settle things with me. We would work things out. I was frozen, nailed to the hospital bed. I started clenching my fists, and my insides were burning.
My mother gasped, and her eyes gave off a river of tears. She looked at me, and was probably filled with concern at how I looked. "Jin." My mother had said, obviously trying to calm me. But nothing would comfort me. Nothing but the presence of Riann here, at this very hospital, welcoming me into her arms.
"…Details about the hideous crime would be further explained in the Late Night Edition of Japan News. Have a good day." The screen went black for a while, and people from a certain TV Show appeared with smiles on their faces. I wanted to beat the spirit from their faces. How could they be rejoicing at a time like this? Of course, they did not know of this pain, but still…
"Jin, calm yourself. You have not recovered fully yet." It was then that I noticed I was trembling, very hard. I scrambled out of the bed, pulling all those tubes from my body. My mother was shouting. She was summoning anyone who could help, and addressing me, "Jin! Calm down, please!"
Yet, at this state, nothing could stop me. I ran out of the room, and I ran faster through the dim corridors. All the nurses and doctors who passed by looked at me in a way that made me want to break all their faces. I ignored them, though, and continued on my way outside. After getting out of the hospital building, guards where running after me already. Must have been alarmed of my escape. I ran faster, effortlessly, 'til they can't follow me anymore. Maybe they were forgetting that I moved faster than this inside the courts. The courts. Tennis. Riann.
I'd have to find a way to make sure of the news. Not that I want to make sure she's dead, I want to make sure she is alive. As I saw a phone booth, I got an idea.
Riann was getting more troubled. It had only been two minutes since she rode this cab, but it seemed like decades. The driver was going slowly, yet his driving seemed giddy and uncertain. The driver was whispering words to himself, and was making weird sounds. Riann noticed how red the driver's face was. The snickers never stopped, too. At first, she thought it would be Akutsu, but she remembered that Akutsu never wore his hair down, and never left his pale complexion. He also did not have this rough, peculiar voice. Akutsu's voice was firm and low with authority, yet it always had a touch of velvet to her ears. This man was starting to go beyond the behavior of a normal, of a sane person. His laughter was already flooding inside the cab, and as he glanced at her, Riann saw two, red eyes, and the face that seemed to belong to a demon.
I need to leave this cab, now. Riann thought, and she looked at the door. She slowly inched to one side, so that the driver won't notice. As she tried to opened it, she was filled with horror. LOCKED! The crazy man was going through the snowy regions of Japan with an innocent girl locked inside the cab with him. With that kind of situation, it is guaranteed that the girl won't be able to leave unharmed.
"Let me out!"
He just kept on laughing, saying inaudible words. It might have been of another unfamiliar language, or it could be just an invented language. I don't want to die with an insane man! I'd rather be massacred with Akutsu than to die this way.
It had been a surprise to her as the man sped up. The snow outside was becoming thicker and thicker by the second, and it was getting harder to see outside. This is what Riann thinks, but to the man, it seemed next to nothing. He did not even feel the slightest bit of fear as he raced across the snow, not minding whatever is on the outside.
The man stops the car, and he puts his head down. Riann took the opportunity. "Who are you? Let me out! I am innocent! I just want to go home and settle—"
"Silence." There was weirdness in the way he uttered the /s/ sound. It seemed like he was holding in an insatiable hunger.
"Let me out!" She was hitting everything now, pounding on the door, just to get out.
Akutsu, wait for me, please. I am just fighting for my life here. This won't take more than an hour. I am on my way. Please wait, and don't do anything stupid. She sighed as she thought of what may be her last words for the man she loves, but may never see again.
The insane man, who introduced himself as Inoue Matsunaga, propelled the cab forward, and it was enough to keep the girl on the backseat quiet.
The man behind them followed them. "How could he drive with snow this thick?" He knew that soon enough, his own car would not be able to go through the snow, either. How stupid of me to follow them. Yet, I could be a witness to a crime. Who knows? None did the man knew that he really was a witness to a crime, which was forming just a little meters from him.
"STOP THE CAB!" Riann was shouting now. The driver was not just insane. He was more than that. He kept on laughing as he stepped on the accelerator, crushing stumps, breaking branches, sinking through snow. He kept his foot on the pedal, and so his laugh. "STOP IT!" He does not hear her due to the loud noise of the engine struggling against the snow, and the man's laughs as well.
What will I do? I'd have to make a call. As she was searching for her phone, the man made the jump. The jump that ended their lives.
The man was very worried now. He felt so much behind them, and there was no way to find them in this thick snow. A sound made him lose hope, all of it. It was the crashing of metal, heavy, tons of metal, on steep rocks. After a few bounces of the metal, it was a loud thud, which was a little silenced by the thick snow, and then nothing. Not even the shout of the girl that she used as a guide.
"Pa, what you think was wrong. Riann thinks that you are hiding something. Pa, you can tell me, I am your wife, after all."
"Ma, it is just… I was being too narrow-minded. I am so sorry. I have been wrong to you, to Riann. The company was bankrupt, and they thought of firing some of the employees to lighten the burden. I was one of those who were on the waiting list. Ma, I am just scared. What if there was no more job for me? How can I provide yours and Riann's needs? How can I serve as head of the family? And what about the life I left, and forced you, too, to leave? It will also be gone, right? So I am being pressured because of these. I do not know anymore what to do…"
"Pa, I understand you. And so will our daughter, only if you have told her. Only if you have given her time. Now, we can only follow her and hope that it is not too late."
But it was. Just as Mr. and Mrs. Mellbournne grabbed their coats, they heard the sound that served as a signal. Crash, crash, crash, crash, THUD. All was silent afterwards.
The man was shocked. Despite the biting cold, he went out of the car, and took a look. Not a few meters from were his car was, he saw a cliff, and below, a bloody scene. The cab was broken, crashed. The glass from the windows were all broken and shattered.
"Hello?!" No one answered aside from his own echo. He decided to call the police. "Hello? I think there is an accident here…"
After calling for help, he had nothing to do but look at the unfortunate scene once more before retreating to his car, waiting for the Police to arrive.
Mr. Mellbournne felt his jaw drop. His wife shivered. "What is that?"
"P-pa, c-could it be…?"
"Impossible!" Yet Mr. Mellbournne was already running toward the door, and out into the harsh snow.
Mrs. Mellbournne followed soon after excusing themselves from her husband's parents. They were half-asleep, so she had no trouble. She ran 'til she was outside. The snow was falling harder, and it was aggravated by the strong wind. Even her thick coat seemed only as thin as her skin. She searched frantically for her husband. She yelled his name. He did not answer. She looked down, found footsteps, and, assuming it was her husband's, followed it. After a while, they were side by side again. They saw police and Investigator cars pass by them, undeterred by the thick snow. They followed the trail of cars, and were led to a cliff. Mr. Mellbournne pushed his way, and saw a man, leaning on a car, talking to his phone, frantic. He took the opportunity and had a chat with him.
"Good day, Sir. Perhaps you know what has occurred here?"
"Yes. I'll call you back later." After hanging up on whoever he was talking to, he looked at Mr. Mellbournne with eyes that depicted fear and knowledge. "Yes Sir. While I was at the city…"
"Sir, we need to talk to you for a while. Can you explain briefly what has occurred here?" It was one of the officers."
"Yes. While I was at the city, the man, who was driving the cab, caught our attention. He was naked, and he called a cab. The next thing, we saw the same guy driving the said cab, wearing the cab driver's uniform. Some of us went to the alley he came from and found the body of the cab driver, mixed with a pool of blood, many stabs covering his body."
"Is the victim dead?"
"No. He was still struggling for his life. Some have rushed him to he hospital. I took the courage to follow the cab, and I was led here. A girl rode the cab…"
"Can you briefly describe the girl?"
Mr. and Mrs. Mellbournne were filling with fear. What if the girl was their daughter.
"She was wearing thick clothes so I was not able to distinguish her face. She was about 5'4" in height, but I fear she is no more than fifteen. Well, that's all I could say…"
"Please continue with the story."
"Well, the driver was moving fast, but my car could not fight with the snow, so I allowed a few meters to separate us. I hear the girl screaming, and I was forced to follow. After some time, the cab stopped. I kept my distance. And, to my shock, it accelerated, until…"
"Until?"
"Until… he…" The man was starting to get teary-eyed.
"Sir?"
"Poor Girl. The man drove the car over the cliff, and that was what caused all the sounds… I am not sure if they'll survive, though…"
The Mellbournnes were stuck with horror. Could it really be Riann? A thought came from Mrs. Mellbournne. "The phone!"
She nervously dialed Riann's number. Reporters from various networks started to appear, too. She put the phone to her ear, and waited. The number was either turned off or out of reach. Mrs. Mellbournne slumped down. She was trembling hard.
"Pa…" Mr. Mellbournne was fearing more. If Riann was… then… it would be partly his fault.
The scene was filled with the voices of reporters. They were like bees, and they found it irritating. All were waiting, and at last, the bodies of the victim and suspect were carried up from the cliff.
"Pa… we need to see…Riann… Pa…" She was crying now, her tears accompanied my sniffles. The officer shot them a glance.
"Excuse me, Sir, Ma'am. Do you have any relationship with any of them?"
They were silent, and the officer waited for them to answer. "My wife and I doubt that the girl is… our daughter."
The officer was silent, as if calculating some thoughts. "Excuse me."
The officer approached one of the men who carried the bodies. After a while, the body of the girl was laid down, and the Mellbournnes were made to check.
Mrs. Mellbournne, her husband beside her, slowly lifted the blankets and was struck with horror. It was Riann. She was yelling, crying so hard, mourning. Mr. Mellbournne, tears streaming down his face, too, calmed his wife, and tore her away from their late daughter's body. It was his fault, after all.
"Sir, Ma'am, can you accompany us to the headquarters? We need to settle things."
As they rode the car of the officer, they heard a reporter, looking at the video camera, saying with a firm voice, "…Police and Crime Scene Investigators have investigated, and found enough clues. Later came a woman and a man of middle age, who both were looking and asking about what caused the commotion. The investigators have called them to identify the victim. The victim was identified as Riann Mellbournne, aged 15. The parent's had said that they last talked before she ran away. The suspect was identified as Inoue Matsunaga, 35, and was an escapee from Japan National Jail, confirmed of insanity. Both were found dead below the cliff…"
As the interment was arranged, the HQ was silent aside from the sniffles and crying sounds made by the victim's mother. Before they were dismissed, the victim's items were given. In it were her bag and her phone, which was badly broken. By he sight of her daughter's things, Mrs. Mellbournne broke up crying again. It was hard for them, but they had to go through it.
After calming herself, she turned with concern to her husband. "Pa… you need to release your emotions, too. Please…"
"Ma, it was my fault. If only I had allowed her to--"
"Pa, no one wanted this. Maybe, we should just, accept the truth?"
"We will, Ma, but someday. The pain is still to fresh, the wound still bloody, to forget."
Silence.
"What about Akutsu?"
Mr. Mellbournne looked at his wife with concern. He knew that telling Akutsu the truth would lead to another accident. But he knew, too, that Akutsu had the right to know. "Call him."
Wise move, Akutsu. I realize how dumb I was. I need money to use the phone booth, and I have none with me. Trying out luck, which only works well with Sengoku, I entered the booth nonetheless. To my surprise, there was a coin placed on top of the phone. I used it and dialed Riann's number. As I waited for it to ring, the booth was filled with the sound of my heartbeat. It was frantic, fast and loud. I was disheartened by what I heard next. "The number you dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area. Please try your call later."
Unattended? Out of coverage area?! WHAT?!
I banged the phone and left it hanging, while the lady kept on repeating the message that irritated me. I rush outside, and to my surprise, a car was parked in front, and two men came from out of nowhere. Each of them took me by an arm, and I tried to resist. I know that they are having a hard time keeping me down. I scrambled and rattled like a beast. One of them signaled to the car, and another man in a white suit disembarked. He went near me, and I felt something pricking my skin. I tried to look at it, but I failed for my vision started to blur, until there was nothing.
I woke up, and I was by the hospital bed again. The tubes were on me again. I still feel numb, I cannot move. My mother had just finished talking to the doctor.
"Jin." She looked at me with worry as she sat beside me.
I kept my stare at the ceiling. It was good that the lights were turned off.
"Jin. The doctor said you'll be dismissed today. Just one check-up…"
"And Riann?" Took me a lot of effort to speak.
"Jin… She is…gone." Before she finished her sentence she was crying so loud. "Jin. Please calm down. Don't repeat what you did a while ago. They needed to inject you with a calming serum. You could have done something fatal out there. Jin…"
I sighed. I need to calm myself for with every word she says, my heart sinks deeper, my blood gets hotter, my head gets heavier. "Hmm."
The doctors gave me a check-up, blood tests, and whatever tests whose names I did not bother to know. I was released, and my mother and I walked home.
She was still sniffling, and it was getting on my nerves. Every sniffle makes me feel more downhearted. "Stop crying."
"Yes, Jin-kun."
Darn. She took it as 'I do not want to see you crying' rather than 'shut up', which was what I meant.
"They said she'd be led to her resting place here…"
"Thought she lived in America."
"I don't know. Might have been a request from her. Or maybe her parents knew better. Wanted you to be there."
"Of course I'll be there." I sped of, leaving her behind.
I reached home and went straight to my room. The blood signs were still there, it was hastily cleaned. The knife was still there. Remains of my stupid acts, which caused her death. Her dreadful death, which I caused. It was all because of me.
I locked the door and sat on my bed. The weight of my heart multiplied by a billion times. My eyes felt heavy, and so did my heart.
Something warm flowed down my cheeks. Clear, warm fluid, which ran down my cheeks to my neck. I let them flow freely.
Yes, this was the same thing that flowed down my cheeks when I left the team, when we were by the clubhouse. You need to move on, for they will be showing you their smiles next week.
"Tears."
Tears of sorrow, I barely let them out of my system, but now, they were like bacteria multiplying rapidly and flowing down my cheeks. Tears that went down because you are gone.
I bury my head in my hands in a mixture of despair and frustration. It was my fault that you suffered that tragic… death. It is hard for me to say it, or even think about it, but it is the inevitable truth.
Just a few days from now, I'd have to say goodbye.
Her coffin was lowered, and I stared down as she was led to her final resting place six feet underground. After a while the people gave their condolences and left. The crowd started to disperse, and the sniffles and cries started to go down to silence.
The team stood beside me, giving their condolences.
Only Mr. and Mrs. Mellbournne, the team and I were left. For thirty minutes or so, we stood there, looking at the small patch of ground where her body was rested. The serene and nature-filled cemetery added to the peacefulness of the scene.
"Jin." It was Mr. Mellbournne.
"Sir?"
Mrs. Mellbournne, who was hugging her husband tight, gave me a weak smile and said, "You can call him Dad, and me Mom."
I don't know if I should be touched.
"Yes, Dad." It sounded pretty awkward, coming from my mouth.
"Jin, you need to rest. We need to rest. I know that wherever she is now, she is happy." It was Mom again.
I bowed my head in disagreement. I was not even able to give justice for the man who killed her had died, too.
Dad was trying to be strong for his wife. "So, Jin, let's go. We'll give you folks a ride home."
"Yes. Come on, now." Agreed his wife.
I am not leaving you, yet, Riann. Not yet.
"I think we'll be staying for a while more."
They gave me a worried look. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Don't push yourself too much."
He gave me a squeeze in the shoulder, Mrs. Mellbournne gave me a light hug, they shook hands with the rest of the team and thanked them for their condolences, and they rode off in their car.
The team and I stayed there with her, at the very same spot that I stood at in the last hour. I remember her peaceful smile, which almost meant something like "I love you" and "Goodbye". Her white dress that made her look as if she was only going to a party.
Now, I miss her more. And for every tick of the clock, I miss her more that the second before.
The wind, which was going smoothly a while ago was blowing furiously now. I stood still, unwavering. I want to know when to let go. I want to know if she will not be mad at me. I want a sign.
"Jin, it's about time that we go." It was Sengoku.
"Okay."
"No, we mean we, all of us, including you."
"No, I'll stay here."
"But Jin—"
"I said I'll stay here." I said it firmly enough that they gave up. They gave me pats at the back and condolences. Before they left, Minami, the team captain, told me, "Don't overdo it, Akutsu. You should know when to let go." And everything was silent again.
A few minutes passed by filled with silence, the deafening silence aside from the bustling of the wind. Just then, a saw a butterfly, a white one, struggling against the wind. White precious, beautiful. Just like Riann. Her purity, her cheerfulness, her sweetness, her love for me and her family and friends.
Indeed, she was a great loss for us.
My thoughts diverted back to the butterfly. Why is it here?
I know why.
This is the sign I have asked for.
The wind kept on blowing dried leaves and dust in my way. The poor butterfly was having a hard time. I reached out my hands, and it perched there. It stayed until the wind returned to being gentle again. It flew again, circling above my head, perching for a second on my nose, and it flew off, somewhere far away.
Somehow, it made me think of Riann. Did the butterfly represent her? Was she telling me to let go?
Then… Then.
I let you go. Be happy, and guide me always.
I looked to the west, the wonderful clouds in the blue sky filling my heart with awe.
Goodbye, my love.
I touched the gravestone once more, and started walking home. The wind was blowing gently now, and the sun was shining bright again.
The dark times, the dark clouds that covered my heart was gone now.
As for me, I'll continue to live. I'll enrich the life she gave me. I'd appreciate every day of my life, and I will live patiently 'til we are united again.
I'll prove that I can do it. I'll stay faithful; I won't love anyone else, unless of course she is you.
I smiled as I walk across the grassy area. I will do it. I will prove that it will always be.
This love is unbreakable.
Sorry if the ending is crappy. I tried to make it as tragic as I could.
Well, Riann's name was derived from my real name, but don't worry, Riann is NOT portraying me or any person. She's an individual. Oh, well.
Pardon me if I keep on changing the PoV. There's a first person telling the story, first person talking to Riann, and Third person omniscient. Sorry. :))
Pardon me for the wrong dividers. MS Word gave me a hard time and I did not want to type it all over again just to make another error.
Sorry for all the errors! :)) I was rushing to finish this. Errors in grammar, punctuation, sentence structure and the story line itself. I'll correct it as soon as I have the time.
For the school girl part, I really wanted to be Riann. And the clubhouse part, too. =))
Well, did you guys like it? Hope so.
Please please please review. Inspire me folks. And I'll be adding other stories soon. I have five halfway-done stories, and I hope to finish them soon. If I don't then it means that school is beating me hard.
See you next time.
Ciao! :))
~vaLcRist_kuTsu~