Hey Psych fans :) This is my first time so everybody please be gentle ;) I'm sorry if ya'll find spelling or grammatical errors (it's usually just things my spell check misses) I did this purely and simply for fun and I hope you get just as much pleasure out of reading it as I had writing it. Comments and reviews are of course appreciated, wanted, down right loved! [I own nothing! Everything comes the brilliant mind of Steve Franks] Oh and this is rated T for mild language and brief violence in later short stories. Enjoy 3

Always My First Choice

Her lips on his could tell him better than all her stumbling words.
~Margaret Mitchell

Juliet O'Hara made a promise to herself when she was 18 that she would never cry in front of anyone. Not her parents, not her best friend Missy, not even her neurotic lovable cat Oscar, and most especially not those jackass Miami detectives who looked down on her for being too young. She couldn't cry in front of anyone, it would only prove them right and she would never let that happen. And she kept that promise to herself for 10 years, until the night she almost died.

Strapped to that chair and dangling off the side of a roof, she cursed Mr. Yin, the man who put her there. She was going to die and she had barely begun to live. And in a split second she was saved from a gruesome fate as a bloody pancake on the street below. When she was untied and came eye to eye with her partner Carlton, she threw her promise out the window and broke down in his arms. She cried, sobbed, wept until her eyes burned like fire. She cried because she had never in her whole career come so close to death and in Carlton's arms she let one tear fall because Shawn was nowhere in sight. Apparently he chose Abigail, not her. And that almost hurt more than anything Yin had done to her.

Juliet sat in her apartment and continued to stare at her TV. She had been fixed on it for 3 hours now, even though it wasn't on. Oscar was pawing at her lap but soon gave up when she didn't even blink, and instead fell fast asleep on her brown leather couch. Juliet felt raw all over, in her eyes and head and even her soul. The silence of her apartment had been enveloping her since Carlton and Gus had dropped her off, so she jumped when the doorbell rang. She leaped off her couch so fast she scared Oscar, who yowled and fled the room. Juliet's heart was pounding, her eyes wide and breathing turning erratic. Whoever was at the door started knocking loudly. Juliet panicked and ran a hand through her blond curls, what if it was him, what if he had come back to finish what he started. They hadn't caught him, even though every cop at the station had assisted in the search. The knocking came louder now, and Juliet grabbed the gun she had left on her coffee table. She had to tell herself she was a detective; she was a force to be reckoned with. But as she reached for the door knob with her free hand, she flashed back to the moment on the clock tower and suddenly didn't feel very dangerous anymore.

She prepared to aim the gun right at the knocker but instead felt two strong arms envelope her when she opened the door. Panic and the urge to scream hit her first but then she realized who it was. She smelled his unique scent of Axe and pineapple and she swallowed her scream. He held her tight while she stood there unmoving, arms to her side and her head peeking over his shoulder. "Thank God you're okay Jules. Gus said they got to you just in time, but they didn't catch him. How're you doing?" When he finally let her go and she came face to face with his worried eyes and the smile that was always at the corner of his lips, she wanted nothing more than to cry again. So she did, because she had already broken her promise and showed her weakness to the world what was a few more tears. He frowned when he saw the tears in her blue eyes and started to reach out, but she stepped back quickly with her hand still clutching her gun.

"I-I-I'm fine. Everyone needs to stop worrying…I'm…I'm fine." He dropped the hand reaching towards her and stepped ever so closely, "Jules. It's okay to be upset. I mean when I found out this morning Gus taped over my football game with the regional birdhouse building tournament I wanted to cry too," he said, his signature grin spreading across his face. Juliet never wavered, had he did this a few hours ago she would have smiled at his boyish charm. Now all she wanted to do was make him leave, or smack him…or both. "Do you think this is a good time to make jokes Shawn?" His smile dropped and his eyes sobered, "No. Your right, I'm sorry. I just make jokes to break the tension," he walked slowly towards her but she didn't move, she just turned her eyes away, "I'm sorry Juliet. I'm sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault."

When she moved her eyes back to his, he was standing so close to her she could see the flecks of green in his eyes. She frowned and shook her head, "It's not your fault. It's my job, I should have been stronger. I should have fought back, been tougher, and not been so fucking weak." The tears fell and traveled down her cheek, dropping one after the other on her yellow tank top. She felt Shawn touch her shoulder and she flinched slightly, hoping he didn't notice. But he did so he pulled her into another hug. "Jules you're the strongest person I know. You're not weak, not even a little." Juliet slowly melted into him, her arms encircling his waist, her face buried in his blue button up shirt. It felt good to be held as she let the tears flow. "You weren't there," she whispered barely, his ears hardly even catching it.

"What," he asked into her hair, which he noticed smelled like lavender and coconuts. "You weren't there," she said louder, hating the way her voice wavered. He pulled her back so he could look at her face. Oh man he loved that face, creamy skin, blue eyes that reminded him of his old neighbor's pool he use to spend summers playing in, and framed by beautiful golden hair that always reminds him of sunshine. And he still loves her face, even red and tear streaked, with her hair falling in messy curls down her shoulders. "I know. I wanted to be so much. But I sent Gus because if I couldn't be there, I trust him the most…" He still had her by her shoulders and her eyes couldn't leave his face. Shawn was always so good at keeping everything hidden; his face never betrayed his feelings. Juliet knew that. How many times had she wondered what was going on in that head of his. The head of a crime fighting psychic. How incredible it must be. And as he stood with her in his arms, she could see everything written on his face. The pain at seeing her hurt, the sadness from knowing they hadn't caught the man who put both the women he cared about in danger, and guilt for knowing he hadn't been there to save Juliet; instead he chose Abigail to save, the woman who was probably packing up her things now and moving far away from the danger that followed Shawn Spencer.

After seeing his agony Juliet slowly let her guard down, she leaned her body into Shawn and let him hold her once again. "I was so scared Shawn. I've never been that afraid in my life. When I looked out over the edge…," she started to sob into him clutching at his shirt; he rubbed her back and whispered "its okay" over and over. The more he whispered the harder she shivered, which made her appreciate the warmth from his body. "When Carlton untied me I was still so scared, I hurt all over. And then I cried which I never do and should have felt happy to be alive but all I could think about was that you weren't there. You chose Abigail over me, and it shouldn't matter because she's your girlfriend and I'm a cop so I can handle myself and she can't. But…" she was babbling and sobbing and she knew she probably looked like a whiney red faced little girl.

Then Shawn took his hand from stroking her hair and tilted her face to look at his. She avoided his eyes and instead stared above his head. "Jules look at me," he said, bringing his hand down on to her cheek. She finally couldn't avoid his eyes anymore; oh man did she love those eyes. His hand felt warm and soft against her cheek, and he moved his fingers lightly over her cheek then her lips like a caress. "Jules I'm so sorry. You're always my first choice, always will be. I'm sorry I wasn't there," he whispered and then he kissed her. Hard at first, afraid that she would move away and when she didn't he softened it. His lips moved confidently against hers, like he already knew every inch of her. Her hands moved up his chest to behind his neck, as he kissed her like he had wanted to the day he saw her sitting in that coffee shop 4 years ago.

She would have stopped him, should have stopped him. Her and Shawn didn't make sense…they were too different…but then why did his lips feel as if they were meant to be connected to hers and his body fit hers as if it were made to. He took his lips away for a moment to catch his breath, with his forehead touching hers he didn't say another word, he just leaned in for another spine tingling kiss. And he didn't need to say another word because in that moment his kisses and his hugs were just for comfort, to remind her in his heart she was his first choice.

So? Love it? Hate it? Secretly wish this was how Season 4 ended?... I know I do :)

Much love to anyone who reviews!