Spoilers!

I took a short break from my Death Note Drabbles, Reflections, to finally finish writing this. It had been collecting dust on my laptop, unfinished, for about a year.

I don't own Harry Potter. Thank God.

PS. I realize that Fred is dead by the time Ron and Hermione get married, but I wanted them both there to torture Ron...So screw it!

Brotherly Love

It was the night before the wedding.

Ron felt sick. Very, very sick.

"Ronnie, what wrong?" Mrs Weasley asked. She hated to see her son so upset. And she didn't know what to make of it. He was about to marry the love of his life. He should be happy!
"Mum, please. I don't want to talk about it," Ron sulked.

Mrs. Weasley would have none of it. She persisted to question Ron until he finally begged to retire to his room.

"Ron's in quite a bad mood," Mr. Weasley observed quietly as he sat down to dinner with his family. Ron remained in his room.

"He won't even come down for supper!" Molly Weasley worried. "That's so unlike him! Darling, maybe you should go talk to him."

"Mum, if you don't mind, could Fred and I try to talk to him first?" George asked, grinning at his brother. Fred nodded enthusiastically.

"No!" Molly protested. "The last thing he needs his you two's teasing!"

"Honestly, Mum! We're not going to tease him. We're just going to offer him some brotherly advice!" Fred assured his mother.

"Molly, perhaps that's a good idea. He might be more open to them," Mr. Weasley said quietly.

Molly Weasley looked around the table. She was surrounded by men. Her one and only daughter was part of Hermione's bridal party, so she was staying with Hermione tonight. Molly Weasley let out an exasperated sigh. Choose your battles, she told herself.

"Fine!" She huffs. "But I'd better not regret it!"

Ron was lying in bed, his face smushed in his pillow, when he heard a knock at his door. He didn't answer, and he didn't need to. His elder brothers just walked right in.

"I don't even know why I bother locking the door," Ron said into his pillow.

"What was that mate?" Fred asked.

"Never mind. We've heard from mum that's you're a little bit under the weather." George pressed.

"I'm fine."

"Rubbish," the twins said together.

"Well, fine then, if you two know so much." Ron glowers darkly, but his brothers are unaffected.

"We do know so much. That's why we're here." George says simply. Ron raises an eyebrow.

"To help you!"

"Now when it comes to tomorrow, what makes you the most nervous?" Fred asked.

"The wedding, which will bind you into spending the rest of your life with your beloved Granger, soon to be Weasley?" George continued.

"Or ... "

"Or what?" Ron demanded, already fearing the answer he'd receive.

"Or the wedding night," his brothers said together, grinning broadly.

"Oh, Godric!" Ron exclaimed, burying his face into his pillow, the tips of his ears turning red.

"Well, I guess that settles that, eh mate?" Fred nudges his twin. George chuckles.

"Now, don't fret, Ronnie. We're completely serious. We want to help you."
"I don't want your help! I don't need help! I'm just nervous!" Ron admits, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"You won't be nervous when we're through with you."

"Piss off," Ron suggests angrily, sitting up.

"Oh, come on, Ron. Don't be such a baby."

"Yeah Ron. Anyways, we aren't leaving until we're completely convinced that you're ready, so you better just get it over with."
"I don't need tips on sex! Especially not from you two!"

The twins ignored their little brother entirely. "Now, give us a run down of what you already know and we'll start from there."

Ron just sat there, mouth open, a look of fury on his expression.

"Damn, poor thing, guess that's nothing at all." Fred laughed.

"No wonder he's nervous," George agreed with a teasing smile.

"I hate you both, so much," Ron said angrily.

…...

"So let's review, shall we?" George suggests.

Ron huffs indignantly before reciting the words that had been imprinted in his brain, probably for the rest of his life.

"1. Instinct, 2. Knowledge, 3. Skill."

"Very nice, Ron."

"I think he's ready."

"What about you, Ron? Do you think you're ready to take our dear little Hermione and throw her down and shag her brains out?"

"Bloody hell!" Ron groans, his expression horrified.

"It very well could be," George points out.

"If you don't do it right."

-Fin-

Well, that was awkward. :D

This was entirely inspired by the last three lines. They just popped into my head one night, and the rest of the story formed around them.

Review please!