A Soul's Distant Heart

Chapter 1

First Awakening

"Dude, you can't be serious." I snarled. Eli threw a corn chip at me and had a fit, "I'm being 100 % serious. My parents are letting Clare move in with me." I picked the corn chip up and threw it back at him. "How and why are they actually agreeing to that? I mean, I can only imagine the images you're having after figuring out your parents are letting your girlfriend move in." Eli shrugged and laughed.

"I don't know, I guess they feel bad for her, and they really enjoy having her around." Eli then ate a handful of corn chips and didn't throw one this time.

I couldn't think of how hard it must be for Eli. Sure he was going to be living with his girlfriend and that can be paradise, but it has its consequences. A lot of fights can happen when you first live together, in the same house, under the same roof, living the same rules.

I then started thinking about Alli and Drew. Alli was very heartbroken at the fact Drew cheated on her. Drew never really considered how much he was hurting Alli. Bianca and Drew were chatty after they did what they did. Bianca even called our house a few times. The whole thing hurt me a little too. Considering my brother did have oral sex with Bianca and I sort of still liked her. I completely despise her for treating me the way she did, and I completely despise what happened between Drew and Alli because they were an adorable couple.

"Dude." I snapped out of my thoughts and came back to reality. "Oh sorry, man. I… uhh… spaced out." He cocked an eyebrow at my choice of words. "Thinking about something? Anything you care to talk about?" I shook my head. "No I was just thinking about something small_" His eyes still beamed at my head and I swallowed, searching for a lie to start another conversation.

"_The English assignment due on Friday; the essay about who inspires you most and changed your life." I smiled a little and he shook his head, followed by a tiny laugh. "Homework is always on your mind isn't it?" He asked.

"No, I was just trying to discover who to do mine about. There are not many people to choose from." Eli changed his position on the floor where he was lying on his stomach.

"I might do mine on Clare." He said. I now was surprised.

"What exactly would you say? 'I am inspired by Clare. She changed my world by taking my virginity.'" I laughed as I was trying to mock his voice.

"Dude! No." He then smirked and laughed too. We both settled down and when there was no more crazy laughter, Eli spoke again.

"I really like her, she… changed me. She makes me want to… do better." I laughed again and then caught sight of seriousness on his face.

"You really love her, don't you?" I asked, trying to sound understandable. He nodded his head and fiddled with the carpet.

"More then any girl I've ever been with. I love her so much, it scares me." He kept his eyes anywhere but mine. I've never seen him so… sympathetic; so serious. He was being very cautious of his situation. And if anything happened between him and Clare, it might just mess him up for life.

"I'm glad to hear you guys are in love." I finally stated after a moment of silence. His eyes looked up and met mine. He spoke calmly. "You'll find someone, Adam. There are plenty of girls at Degrassi that would love to be with you."

I shook my head. "Nope, no one I have ever met has seen the likings in me. They have seen the friend Adam, but not the romantic Adam." I now was feeling sorry for myself, which I can't be. I hate when I hurt and feel hopeless. I hate when I am hopeless.

"How about we play Truth or Dare? To lighten the mood." He smiled at me. I nodded in agreement.

"I'll go first." He said. He then got off his stomach and sat with his legs crossed. "Truth or Dare?"

I wanted to say dare, but its Eli I am talking to. He does crazy dares. One time, he dared Clare to take off her shirt and sit in the Degrassi parking lot, where the cameras will catch her. Of course she said no and the consequence was to say something random to a passing neighbor. She had to yelling 'Banana Bread' out her window when her neighbor, Mrs. McCain, walked by while walking her dog. She nearly had a heart attack, and then quickly walked away with her small Chihuahua. Clare never picked dare when it was Eli again.

I finally took the risk and said, "Dare." Knowing I am about to regret my words.

He smirked and stood up. "Follow me." He said. I then gulped and got on my feet and followed Eli downstairs. The steps creaked every time I went down another, and another; making me more and more nervous.

We walked into the kitchen. He turned on his kitchen lights. "My parents should be asleep, so I can now do anything I want." He opened the fridge a little, as I was trying to peek. "Sit down right there." He pointed to the chair near the counter and I sighed.

"My dare is to sit in a chair? How pathetic." I made my way to the chair and sat down. I knew he didn't mean it that way, but I thought it was still funny.

"No, dude, just watch." He snapped. I eyed him curiously. He pulled out the mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, barbecue sauce, chopped onions, horse radish, honey mustard, and wheat bread. He then got out a blender.

"Dude, no way, that's going to make me sick." I realized what he was doing and gagged at the look of the stuff. I didn't even like half the stuff by themselves why would I like them together.

"At least I'm not making you eat your own toenails. I'm not going ruff on you." He laughed. He put the bread and mustards in. He mixed it a tad, added ketchup, mixed it, added the onions and horse radish, grinded it, and then added the rest of the ingredients.

He poured the mixture into a plastic cup and handed it to me. I held the cup away from me and didn't dare to look. "This is gross, man." I stated. He laughed again.

"Dude, look at it and taste it." I gulped and gave a small peek into the cup. Gross.

The mixture didn't even look like food. It was a moldy green color, and had lumps and I could see tiny specs of onions from here to there. I looked at Eli, who had a ridiculous smirk on his face.

"What's my consequence?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I took my time making that, so you have to drink some of it." His evil eye looked at me and I sighed.

"You are a real son of a bitch." I murmured. He heard me and laughed, yet again. "I know. Thank you for that compliment."

I sighed, took my free hand to hold my nose, and slowly pulled the cup to my mouth. I could smell the gross aroma of mayo mixed with ketchup, which is what Drew loves to dip his fries in. I felt my eyes stiffen and water.

I slowly took a sip and swallowed. As I put the cup down, I felt a small feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Where is… the…" I tried to ask, but it was too late. I already puked all over the Goldsworthy's floor.

"Thank you for helping me clean up, Mr. Goldsworthy. I'm sorry about that." Eli and I walked back into Eli's room and his dad took one step in. "Don't worry, Adam, accidents happen."

He walked away, and I took a glimpse of Eli, laughing so much he didn't make a sound.

"Dude, that wasn't funny! I went bulimic on accident!" My joke seemed to make him laugh harder.

"You're dead to me." I murmured. He settled down a bit and sat on his bed. I sat on the floor, replaying the horrifying thing in my head. "I know your joking, Adam."

"I know I am too." I finally say. "So, what are we going to do now, since it will take your dad awhile to fall back asleep?"

He shrugged. "Now we can't do dares, I guess we just do truths." I sighed in relief. I didn't want to do another one of Eli's dares EVER again.

"I go first." I said. He nodded.

He came and sat down next to me on the floor. "Have you ever been 'involved' with a teacher?" I asked.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise of the question. He shrugged. "There was this one teacher at my old school, Mrs. King. We always flirted in the teacher/student kind of way. We never did anything though." I laughed a little.

"Ok, ok, my turn." He said. He looked around the room. He was thinking of a question, a really good question. It took him 5 minutes to even start functioning anything.

"I can't think of anything good_" He started, and I was silently happy. "So my question is who was your first kiss?"

I gulped. That was a good question, and he knew it. He knew he wanted to know. I looked down at my feet. "Jake Hamilton." I said quickly. He then eyed me. "Jake for…?" I sighed. "Jake was a guy." I said. He was now really confused.

"I was 13, I was Gracie at the time, and Jake just kissed me at a party. It was stupid, but I was curious since no girls would come around me." He then relaxed his curiosity and smiled. "Well, at least you were honest." He said.

"Are you a virgin?" I asked. His eyes shot up again. "What? It's my turn to ask a question." I explained.

"No." He said. I looked at him and he knew I was curious.

"Have you told Clare?" I asked him. He nodded. "Of course Clare knows, she is sort of…. Involved." I was confused at first, and then I finally got the message of what he said.

"You had sex with Clare? Saint Clare? Did you guys pray afterwards?" I laughed. He smirked, but didn't find my joke funny.

"She's not much of a saint when you're in bed with her." His hand shot up to his mouth and covered it in surprise. I knew he didn't mean to say that, it was just his inner thoughts had accidently slipped out.

"Have you guys done different things?" I asked. He nodded. "A couple of different things actually. I was really surprised when she suggested doing those things. It was like a whole different Clare… and I… really liked it." He explained the things he and Clare did before and my jaw dropped.

"Clare and you take showers together?" I asked. He then blushed slightly.

"When my parents aren't home in the mornings, yes. That's why I'm nervous but happy that she is moving in. I just need to control myself when we are close so I don't jump her."

I even laughed at that. I knew that was why he was worried. "You'll have your chance to jump her." I said. He took a pillow and hit me. "Don't go Alli on me just yet, Eli." I said. He dropped the pillow and busted out in laughter.

"I wish you and Clare luck." I said randomly.

"With our sexual tension? Thanks?" He laughed again and threw the pillow on his bed.

"No. I mean, I wish you guys luck with your problem. Hopefully you guys don't get into any arguments." I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, dude." He said. "It's getting late; you want to head to bed?"

I nodded, and crawled on the floor to my sleeping bag. Eli sat up on his bed.

"Night, Machismo." He teased. I crawled into my sleeping bag and laid my head on the floor. "Shut up." I laughed.

"Hey Adam…" Eli said after a couple moments. I leaned my head a little to notice Eli had already turned the lamp off.

"Yeah?" I said slightly, trying to open my eyes.

"Heads up." He said. I didn't understand what he meant until I felt something hit me hard in the head. I fell slightly. I picked up the object and felt it. I smiled.

"Thanks dude."

"No problem."

I lied my head back down on the pillow he threw at me, and soon fell into a deep slumber.