AN: Why hello there. I haven't written anything in a while, but after a discussion with my friends about how hormonal teenagers should never be given fake body parts...well, this just needed to be written.

Disclaimer: I don't even own my own toothbrush, let alone NCIS.

--

Ziva David had been on many undercover missions. Like that time that she pretended to be Tony's wife/assassin, or the time when that insane serial killer nearly shot her. She had even pretended to be a priest - which had invariably scarred that little alter boy to death when he saw her changing back.

But this?

This Hell, complete with the bad hair and the gum that somehow ended up in her amazing hair, and the strange group of girls protesting the use of deodorant in front of the Cafeteria. And according to the three chinned principle, no, breaking students arms is not allowed - even if they grabbed her in inappropriate places.

Ziva could handle this. She was a trained Mossad agent, after all. What were a few pimple infested, oily haired, braces wearing teenagers compared to Tony! The moment she walked through the front door of her post - the Health Class of Doom - a piece of lime green gum flew from a redheaded girl's mouth into her one secret vanity - her beautiful hair. She would have cried had her pride not had such a firm grip on her tear ducts. Instead she slipped into the severely uncomfortable chair behind the cheaply built desk and flipped through the lesson plan that had been left for her.

Dear Substitute:

Here is the schedule for the long day ahead of you.

1st period: 8:15 - 9:55
HELLSPAWN!

2nd period: 10:00 - 10:55
BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!

Lunch: 11:00 - 11:30
SWEET RELIEF!

One eyebrow arched, but she kept reading.

3rd period : 11:45 - 12:25
...They're okay.

So, today we are working with plastic cancer replicas for Breast Self-Exam demonstrations.

Ziva quickly scanned the other three paragraphs, noting the regular Health teachers abuse of exclamation marks, then her obvious insanity, and lastly the fact that she was going to be giving a class full of hormonal teenagers fake breasts. She rested her forehead on the heals of her hands.

This was one undercover assignment that fighting with Tony so wasn't worth.

--

"So, how did school go today, Ziva?"

"It went well, until I got hit with a fake boob."

"...Why do you always get the good assignments?"