WARNING: complete stupidity ahead!!!

Roy's stupid road trip plan

It was a normal day at the Central HQ and Colonel Mustang was in his office taking a nap before he does any of his paperwork, not knowing that is 'friends', lieutenant Breda, Havoc, was talking about him…

"He's such a bum! He's never gonna get that promotion!" lieutenant Breda says. "Yeah! All he does is go and takes naps in his office all day long, pretending that he went on a midnight patrol!" lieutenant havoc joins in. "I bet he cant even stand the world outside his office!!!" Breda protests one more time.

Suddenly, two kids arrive at the office. One looking really short and the other looking freakishly tall.

"This better be a good one! Where's that crackpot mustang?!?!?!" the short one said, with a rather exploded look. "Brother, don't shout. The Colonel's sleeping." The taller one said with a little boy's voice. "Well it isn't my fault we're always dragged into this crap shack!!!" the short one complains again.

While the two kids argue, lieutenant Breda and Havoc step into the scene and greet the two brothers. "Edward! Alphonse! How are you guys doing? Not into any trouble lately?" Lieutenant Havoc greets them with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. "Nope, no trouble! In fact, Alphonse and I have been real bums lately! But it's worse to be doing any of Mustang's assy work actually! I'm not surprised he's not doing any progress with his job." Edward says laughing at his own words. "Yeah! Colonel Mustang isn't doing any progress lately. How come?" Alphonse asks. "Well, ever since lieutenant Hawkeye left for her vacation for a few weeks, the colonel's been sleeping on all his work…well, almost all." Lieutenant Breda answers Al's question.

When the Colonel finally woke up from his dreamland, everyone was staring at him suspiciously. "What are you dickheads looking at?!?!" Mustang says with an eyebrow raised up. "Nothing" everyone else looks away. "So, Colonel, what did you call me up for again? Any assy work you have to get done?" Edward smirks at Mustang in an I'm-not-going to-do-it-for-you expression. "I'm glad you asked, Fullmetal. But no, I don't have any jobs for you now. I called you and your brother in here to go on a road trip with lieutenant Breda, Havoc and I." Mustang smirks back at Ed. "WHAT?!?!?!" Everyone in the room yelled in surprise (Havoc spit out his cigarette). "Yes. I want all of you to come with me in this trip. It's not a mission or anything! It's just for us men to, you know, bond… to get to know each other more." Mustang explained while clearing his desk from piles of unfinished paperwork. "Is this actually necessary? Why do we need to 'get to know each other more'? Don't we already know enough? I'm the dude who smokes, Breda's the one who eats a lot, Al's the one who looks like a big suit of armor and Ed's the vertically challenged one!" lieutenant Havoc said in a sarcastic 'whoop-Dee-doo' expression. "C'mon you guys! It's gonna be fun! Just imagine it, Five friends hanging out on the open road…" Mustang said looking up at the sky as if something great happened. "HEY! Who said we were friends?" Edward folds his arms. Mustang stops smiling and looks at Edward's smug little face. "Fullmetal, if you come with us on this trip, I swear, I'm gonna let you drink…BEER!""WHAT?!?!?! BEER??? YOU REALLY MEAN IT?!?!" Edward says in a overjoyed face. "Only if you come with us. So, What do you say…" Mustang smiles one more. Everyone had no choice but to say yes…so the next day, they all packed up for the trip.

"So, Al, are these all we need?" Ed get ready. "Brother, correction! Are these all YOU need?" Alphonse corrected his brother. "Um...yeah...sure! all my stuff are packed! I"m ready for the beer!!--I mean the trip!!" Edward stands excitedly. "Oh brother! If mom were alive she would ground you like taco beef!" Alphone worries.

"Hurry up you dipwads!!! you wouldn't want to catch any traffic! Move your bloomin' asses!!!" Mustang yells at his men. "We're all set for the trip sir! but all we need is a HUGE food supply!" Lieutenant Breda said while put his things into the car. "We'll get food on the way! FULLMETAL!!! Get in the car!!! Or no beer!!" Mustang starts the enginge. "COLONEL!!! I'M COMING! FOR THE BEER!" Edward jumps into the car and Mustang drives off.

What mischief would these men meet in the road trip... Find out on the next chapter!