Thursday, November 03, 2005

A/N: Continuity sucks. If something doesn't quite match up with what happened in the animated show, my answer is "That never happened," okay? Okay. Further, although I'm reading the transcripts now, I'm still unable to watch the show in it's animated glory, so my fics diverge from sometime after Season 2, okay? Okay. Now, feel free to tell me what sucks, and I'll try to correct it.

Disclaimer: No claim to Teen Titans or anything related to it. I wrote the story, but I really don't have claim over that either. At least lemme know when you pilfer it, okay? Okay.

Titan Wet: A Fiction About Fiction

"Well," Beast Boy prodded finally. They'd been silent for hours. "What do you think?"

Robin looked up, baffled. "It's...um...well..." He looked back at the manuscript in his hands, flipping though it idly. "It's certainly a lot of writing..."

Pshyeah. The whole table was buried under a hoard of stories, fics, novellas, narratives, tales, and sagas--a lot of writing sorta went without saying.

"It's..." Cyborg gestured vaguely, looking for the right term. "It's about us, BB."

"No it isn't," Beast Boy took on a rather condescending tone, like Cy was kinda stupid for even thinking so. "It's made up. These are characters I made up."

"You use our names!" Raven objected. She stood up and glared at the little green cretin. Yeah, he figured she would use that against him.

"Yeah, but the characters in these stories ain't you guys."

"You got that right!" Cyborg interjected. "All this guy does is say 'Boo-yah.' And he listens to Pink. I told you not to tell--I do not listen to Pink! Ifound that CD!"

"It's...certainly a lot of writing..." Robin repeated, dumbfounded.

"You think?" Raven yelled at him, out of control. "What--where in--what the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's fiction!" Beast Boy got defensive. Jeez, if he thought they'd get like this, he wouldn't have showed them. "I even say so!"

"Lot of writing...wow..." Robin went on.

"'Fiction,' he says!" Raven ranted. Boy, she was kinda pissed. Looked cute that way. Maybe he could write a story where she gets mad and--

"Look," She picked a manuscript up off the coffee table and waved it at him. "In this one--you imply that I'm engaged in a Sapphic relationship with Starfire!"

"No: I'm implying that Fictional Raven is engaged in a Sapphic relationship with Starfire. Fictional Starfire."

"What I don't get," Cyborg wondered. "Is how come I don't have a single girlfriend in the hundred or so...ah...'erotic fictions' you wrote up?"

Raven turned and looked at Cyborg like he'd gone insane.

"You offer advice..." Beast Boy tried to explain.

"Yeah, I advise getting everybody else hooked up! Man, you hate me that much?"

"Lot of writing," Robin continued. "It just goes on and on..."

Raven was incredulous, "That's your complaint? That you don't get laid enough?"

Cyborg backed up, "Whoa, now don't mistake me. I'm just saying: if he's going to write about a Fictional Cyborg..."

"...and on and on..." Robin persisted.

"Over half these stories are about me," Raven rage on, "with--everybody else!"

"...and on, like forever. It just one big passion-fest or something..." Robin complained.

"Fictional Raven," Beast Boy corrected.

"Yeah, man, that's weird." Cyborg agreed with Raven. "How come you take turns pairing Raven with the whole dang team? Why does the most antisocial Titan fall in love with everybody? And even then, I get shorted, man!"

"He portrays me like I'm one big super-slut!" Raven whined.

"Fictional super-slut."

"Would you stop that!" she demanded.

"Just like the seventies. We're all just hopping in and out of bed with each other." Robin went on.

"Everybody except me!" Cyborg pointed out.

Raven threw her hands up. "I don't get it! With all the metaphors and euphemisms you happen to know for genitalia, how come you can barelyspeak coherently in real life?"

"Like...'every night's just a sex party at Titan Tower,'" Robin continued. "'Come and get you some.'"

"I'm sorry!" Beast Boy finally said. "I just wanted to write something and I wrote, and this was what I was thinking when I wrote, and I wrote it! I'm sorry, okay?"

An awkward silence lingered. Finally, Starfire looked up from the manuscript she was ready. "This story is peculiarly arousing..." she observed.

"Oh yeah," Cyborg agreed. "This is sexy stuff, though."

"Hot." Robin added.

Raven nodded. "And I'm such a stud."