Innocence Enforced
Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters and concepts do not belong to me. Pity.
This is admittedly a bit of an odd idea but it came to me when I couldn't sleep so don't be surprised if its …off. I would like to point out in self-defense that at times seems a little clogged with stories that boil down to '… and because he was so Bad-ass he had sex with every vagina in the land.' An interesting treat to be sure but hardly something to 'live' on. Anyway, on with the story.
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Loud voices and barely audible music provided a pleasant back-ground drone for a group of celebrating young men and women. Stories and jokes were traded freely while food and drink flowed without end, further weakening already relaxed inhibitions. At a large corner table the Rookie Eleven of Konoha cut loose.
"To the return of that brooding bastard, Sasuke!" Kiba's toast was meet with loud cheers and long pulls on the assembled shin obi's drink of choice. It had taken years of sweat, tears, and blood but their long-lost comrade was back. Granted he was currently locked up and being careful interviewed, but they all felt that given time(and therapy) Sasuke would someday truly be with them again.
In the high spirited atmosphere it was no surprise that the couples present were being particularly affectionate. Neji and Tenten were in neighboring seats, not touching, but very close to one another. Temari had grabbed Shikamaru's arm and not let go. Ino, in a moment of impishness had claimed Chouji's lap as her throne. And Hinata…..well, Hinata blushed and stared at an obvious Naruto….from across the table. A cozy, friends only environment, lots of alcohol, and sense of ballsy mischief lead to a question that wouldn't have surfaced under other circumstance
With a small leer on his face, Kiba leaned over and wrapped a conspiratorial arm around Naruto. "Hey Naruto, when ya gonna find yourself a girlfriend, or at least laid?" A knowing wink was tossed Hinata's way. "With Sasuke back you oughta stop an' settle down a bit!" There was a chorus of agreement and gentle teasing from group, a few subtle comments getting a certain shy young kunoichi rather flustered.
"Never."
"What'd ya mean never!? Come on man, you gay or something?" Naruto snorted in responsive paying no attention to the surprised expressions on his friend's faces. "I'm straight alright but it doesn't matter; I'm just never going to have a girlfriend or sex, ever." Shino entered the conversation, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Why would you never engage in sexual activity?" Naruto let out a loud sigh, gaze dropping down to his glass before answering the question.
"Sakura, you've trained as a medic-nin under Baa-chan, you ever heard of something called Demonic Immersion Syndrome?" The young healer's face went slightly blank as she tried dug through her memories. The rest of the group quieted, wondering what it had to do with Shino's question. "No.. I don't think I've ever heard of anything like that. What is it?" Naruto frowned before answering, clearly not happy with the direction of the conversation. ""Demonic Immersion Syndrome, DIS, is the result of being exposed to large or lingering amounts of Demonic chakra. The way baa-chan explained it to me, Demonic chakra acts like a poison to humans. A little bit makes you sick or weak but a lot starts killing. She said when Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked it was giving off so much Demonic charka that even people across the village were feeling ill. Me, I've been exposed to a LOT of Demonic chakra, several times." Sakura scowled, her medic training coming to a conclusion she didn't like. Several of the of more informed ninjas nodded faintly.
"Naruto, if that's true, how are you still alive." His face becoming unreadable, Naruto's reply was almost unheard in the noisy bar. "I heal really fast, faster then almost anyone else. I heal and recover so quick that I avoid the worst of DIS but not all of it." "And this is why you will never enter a relationship?" "Exactly. Basically, my sex drive is dead. I can look at naked women all day and not feel a thing anymore. It really sucks…" As her crush trailed off into grumbles Hinata's face took on a pallid tone, years of love and nervousness wasted because the love of her life was no longer capable of physical intimacy.
Kiba couldn't keep a sympathetic expression off his face. "That really sucks man, can't they do anything at all for ya?" Naruto shrugged, feeling a little better with the support that he was being given. "Nothing they can do." A hint of smile flickered across his face, deciding to crack a joke and lift the spirits of his friends.
"Its not totally hopeless though. Baa-chan and err, a certain individual said that if I find and seduce a demoness I could have all the hot 'n wild sex with her I wanted!"
Thump
"Hinata! Wake up! I'm sure the idiot was joking!" Watching the girls try to revive the fainted Hyuuga heiress Naruto couldn't help but shiver as a terribly wonderful sensation slide down his spine.
Man, why does it feel like I'm REALLY gonna regret saying that….
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Author's note: You see, very odd. Before anyone asks though, yes I know its blatantly open-ended but that's the way it came to me. Rereading I couldn't help but wonder what a writer more skilled then myself could make of this little idea. If curiosity killed the cat then I wanna be bludgeoned to death! Should anyone feel interested in this set up feel free to take and run with it. But please, for the sake of my very sanity, please send me a link to read it!! I must have it!!! Bwa-Hahahaha!! *Ahem* Yes, anyways, thanks for reading my oddity.
Tigee86