A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night

May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright

Remus

I hate nights like this, when the the moon is a perfectly rounded pale yellow orb in the sky, half covered by an eerie fog. Any normal student at Hogwarts could admire the dark November sky from the parapet on the Astronomy Tower, except me. I mean, I shouldn't even be up here right now, as the tower is "strictly for class use" but it isn't like I will run into Professor Sinistra up here or anything. All my teachers and friends are in the great hall, almost done devouring the feast conjured up every night by the house elves of the school. Half of me knows I should be down there, nibbling on a piece of buttered toast and sipping from a steaming mug of hot chocolate. The other half is drawn to this place, knowing the moon makes me feel too sick to eat anyway but for some reason still unknown to me, I'm drawn to it. Maybe it's just me becoming more comfortable with my lycanthropy. It used to bother me when my friends would call me "Moony", it made me feel like more of a monster than I already do. I don't deserve James, Sirius, or Peter. Every single month they risk their lives to help me. I look down and retrace the path I take with all of them. First out of the castle, while everyone finishes dinner and with full bellies returns to their dormitories. Then we run across the Quidditch Pitch and under the branches of the Whomping Willow that are currently twisting and rustling in the wind. We get under the massive trunk and climb through the tunnels to the Shrieking Shack where my transformation begins. I can't recall the specifics of what happens once I'm in the shack, my mind is too wild and I'm too ferocious, struggling to keep myself and my friends safe.

I pull up the thick sleeve of my jumper and run a finger over the deep scratches I gave myself last month. I examine my hand in the remaining light, and look at my nervously short-bitten nails. Later tonight, thick, sharp claws will sprout and I will end up doing damage myself even more. I'm just thankful that it isn't Peter, James, or Sirius I'm hurting, I can't imagine the guilt I'd feel if I injured one of them. I pull my sleeve down and brush away my chesnut-colored hair that was shielding my eyes.

I hear the sound of boots hitting the stone stairs at a quick pace and whip my head around to identify the source of the noise and immediately my shoulders fall in relief. Of course it's Sirius. His smile brightens the dark tower as he runs up to me.

"What're you up here for Moony? James, Peter, and I searched the whole grounds for you. Somehow I knew you'd be up here though." He laughs lightly and sighs.

I jerk my head in the direction of the moon above and he nods understandingly. He puts wavy his chin length hair into the bun he sometimes puts it in for Quidditch and says,

"Moons, we gotta get going. We can stop in the dormitory quickly until everyone is asleep and then we can sneak out before it's too late."

I take the Gryffindor scarf Sirius holds out to me and wrap it snug around my neck and follow Sirius as he leads the way down the spiral staircase to the dormitory.

"Fortuna Major," I mutter to the sleepy Fat Lady who reluctantly opens up the door to the common room. I realize these are the first words I've said with Sirius around since he found me sulking in the Tower. The warmth of the huge fireplace welcomes me and I resist the urge to slump down in one of the gigantic cushy armchairs. I glance at the familiar scarlet and golden banners draped around the room and climb quietly up the stairs to the boy's dormitories. Sirius and I make our way to our four poster beds, in the practically pitch dark we can still find the way after spending five years at this school. Sirius throws on a leather jacket and I see him slip a chocolate frog in his pocket, for later probably. He laces up his boots tightly and sits down on his bed, facing me.

I hear muffled laughs and hushing, that I recognize as James and Peter from the common room. They burst into the room, somehow not waking anyone up. James's shirt is untucked and his tie is undone, hanging around his neck, typical of James. Peter, his face tinged slightly red looks small standing next to James, who is only slightly shorter than me. James raises an eyebrow from under his jet-black hair questioning me, asking if I'm ready to go. As we step out of the circular door of the common room, my friends offer me encouragement, each in their own way. Peter gives me kind looks, James pats my back and stays upbeat and cheery as always, and Sirius stays by my side the entire time, arm wrapped around my shoulders until we reach downstairs. We sneak past the great hall into one of the back doors and Peter unlocks the door with a whispered "Alohamora". We speed out and all of us begin running across the slightly muddy moonlit Quidditch Pitch. We halt once we reach the Whomping Willow. It stirs once it senses us and performs a stretch-like movement before the branches come crashing down. We all dodge the thrashing branches while I manage to get a scratch on my ear as a branch whizzes past me. Peter is pulled up by his jacket and is thrown down at my feet, over the thick roots next to the trunk. I help him up and he brushes himself off.

Once safely inside the tunnel, we slump down and take a few gasping breaths. After all of us cast a quick "Lumos" I discover James's glasses are askew on his face and there is a crack running down one of the lenses. "Reparo" I say as I point at his glasses with my unicorn hair wand. Just as Sirius puts his head on my shoulder, panting, Peter reminds us that we must get to the Shack before I turn. We increase the brightness of our wands and creep through the underground tunnel, James and Peter leading, Sirius and I following, While we walk, Sirius nudges my hip and silently offers me the chocolate frog he'd put in his pocket earlier. I take the sweet from his hand and for the first time today, I smile because the small gesture means a lot to me.

We approach the small wooden door and halt. Sirius quietly reminds me

"Remus, we'll be right outside the whole time. Just come out when you're ready and we can go back to the dorms or if you're up to it tonight we can even sneak around Hogsmeade for a bit."

I open the door and the musty, wood smell drifts out. How inviting. Once inside I click the rusty lock behind me. I hear my friends' backs hit the other side of the door and I prepare for the transformation as soon as the clouds clear up and the moon is fully exposed. I take a deep breath.