Name: Adam
Age: 24…probably
Date: Don't know, don't care
Place: Harran, Slums Districts
Well, this is it. I'm sitting on a lumpy couch, covered in shit and slowly bleeding to death! Yay me!
I stopped carrying Antizin around with me. Didn't really need it since I never got bit until now. Couldn't even bother packing bandages in case I hurt myself. I'm so fucking lazy….
I did however pack a pen and some paper with me for some fuckin reason. I might be screwed, but at least someone passing by can read this and learn from my own mistakes to save them this bullshit I'm going through right now.
There I was, sneaking around like a fuckin ninja. Moving from house to house whilst avoiding the Biters because I'm too fuckin lazy to swing my baseball bat around like some zombie slaying hero or whatever when I suddenly found myself under siege.
This sort of thing happens all the time and knew what to do. I opened the front door and gave a whistle. A few biters heard this and started shuffling to the door.
I hid behind the door and as soon as the first Biter walked in I slammed it shut and sent the bitch crashing to the ground with a good knock to the head.
Without hesitating I started smearing her blood all over me, humming "I wanna be like you" to keep me distracted from the smell.
Am I a messed-up bastard? Probably, but who gives a shit anymore? The song goes well with the situation and I didn't pack anything to clog up my nose so I needed something to keep me entertained.
When I was done I stepped outside and started walking through the group, hoard or whatever their called towards my hideout which was still a few fucking streets away.
When people started turning into rabid freaks, I decided I couldn't be fucked learning how to fight or free run and instead went for the old "If you can't beat em, join em" tactic.
Works good. Don't have to risk my life or nothing and even Rais' men don't notice me as long as I don't get too close.
I was almost in the clear when I realized something, my vision was starting to get blurry and my head started to spin.
Mistake number 1: I forgot to check for any scratches or sores on my fuckin body before applying the shit to my skin and I was already starting to feel the effects kick in.
Every once in a while, I might get a little scratch here and there due to my short attention span and usually checked myself over before greasing myself up for the awaiting audience.
I fucked up ok? Give me a fuckin break.
I could've made it out of there and gotten some Antizin from my emergency stash, but then came mistake number two: I fell on my fuckin face because of a stupid fuckin rock!
That wasn't what got the Biters attention though, it was because of mistake number three: Swearing like an angry mother at the top of my lungs.
They were on me in seconds and somehow, I managed to get out of there with my limbs still intact, stumbled into a small apartment and fell onto the couch before the adrenaline abandoned my body.
Now I'm too weak and lazy to get off my ass and do something about it. Decided to write my final words into a piece of paper like some fuckin war hero or something since I got nothing better to do.
In case your too stupid to get what I'm saying I'll explain it to you in fine print.
If you can fight, fight. If you can run, run. Just don't go covering yourself in Biter guts like I did.
I pretended to be a zombie, and soon I'm gonna be the real thing.