Chapter 1

disclaimer: TBBT, not mine.

Summary of the difference between this and CANON: Penny graduated high-school and continued to college (majoring in performing arts)- up to the third semester, before of going off with her persuasive boyfriend to chase her dreams.

Part One

i

From the first time Penny met those two guys across her apartment, she'd been playing with Leonard. He likes how she looks, unlike the lanky guy next to him. (A short bespectacled guy like that, why wouldn't he?) Judging from the shirt the lanky one was wearing, he was probably a kid in a man's body. It explains the lack of sexual interest he had towards her. Although he was strangely trying to impress her as well, maybe because he could or his pride made him do it. Men and their pride…

Mental sigh.

She smiled at the thought of having two more friends she could be with. Living alone was so overrated. Screw independence. These two look like they need a free spirit to light up their little corner in the world. If there's some space for this little firecracker, and she likes being with them, why not? Having a guy who liked her was a plus and it reaffirmed her place in the world. That tall lanky one might not be so hot with her, but that can change with time. She just has to know what sort of person he'd be fine with, and see if she's okay with what he is.

Leonard invited her for lunch in a slightly embarrassing way that she hoped she'll be over it by the time she sits down to eat. She had a bit of revenge by sending Leonard to fetch her things from her ex-boyfriend, Kurt. Hard to believe he'd actually gone through with it. She was expecting him to retreat when he see the build of her ex. Poor Sheldon, he wasn't even supposed to be there. Both of them had a reminder of high school when Kurt pantsed them both. Turns out Sheldon skipped all of that by going straight to college. He must've missed his sex-ed class as well.

With both of them gone, she had been introduced to more geeky paraphernalia. Wolowitz supposedly had praised her in 5 different languages, and Raj never responded to any of her queries. He was a silent guy, hiding behind the wordy Howard.

ii

Five months at the place and she hasn't gotten far with the little boy in that tall body. He seems to be living in his own world where they practiced literal laws and forgotten social niceties. As if he wasn't quite human. Except that he actually is a human, and reacted appropriately to certain situations. There was that time when a bird flew into his apartment, and he had run into hers because, 'My apartment doesn't have avian creatures, therefore it isn't my apartment, and I'm staying here till it turns back to my apartment.' Turns out he had hidden a sleeping bag somewhere in her apartment and proceeded to nap in the living room, even after she tried persuading him that the couch would be more comfortable. Leonard had been away that night because of some science discussion in Oregon or he would've removed the bird from the apartment. She didn't bother with it because she was curious if he'd really stay in her supposedly disorganized heap called Penny's Sanctuary.

That was how she was convinced he wasn't a total robot.

I'm pretty sure robots wouldn't give a crap if a bird flew into their place. They're logical beings with yes no functions, not 'oh my god there's a bird in my apartment! Abandon shiiiiiip!'

iii

Sheldon had prowled back from his apartment to sneak in the laptop when Leonard walked up the stairs to their floor.

"Sheldon, what the hell are you doing in Penny's apartment at 9?!"Leonard had yelped when he came back from the meeting and found the apartment empty. Whether he said it in a jealous or confused tone, it was hard to tell. His voice was rather whiny most of the time. "She doesn't even wake at 10!"

"Hey, I'm awake!" I said, popping out from my apartment at the sound of that accusation. Okay, so I love to sleep in. But I didn't sleep in today! Shows what you know, short stuff.

"Oh, hi, Penny. Didn't know you're up." he gave Sheldon a disapproving glance. Sheldon sent a puzzled look back. The expression was rather cute. If I didn't know any better I would've thought Leonard had a little something for Sheldon. But I know it was just me he was thinking of, since he kept trying not to stare at me too long except he was doing it awkwardly. Wonder why he's being so obvious.

"Thanks to Sheldon here, who woke up at five thirty, made some noise at seven and gave me a nice breakfast for not complaining when he needed to bunk here." Actually, I think he only bunked with me because he wasn't used to being by himself after having a room-mate for so long. Not that I'm going to tell him that.

"Thick, rich, warm blended Coffee can wake me at 8 anytime." I winked at him. Leonard went into the apartment to put his luggage back.

"Don't get used to it Penny, it's only for today." Sheldon reminded me.

"Darn. What if I let you bunk with me again?" Oops, wrong words. Leonard had appeared and he looks rather unhappy with the direction of the plot. "Just kidding! We'd end up killing each other. Probably with spoons! Or the TV remote."

"Don't be ridiculous, Penny. Spoons and remotes are not made for that purpose." Sheldon deadpanned.

"Sheldon, I see some bird poop at your table." Leonard had interrupted the easy chatter with that line, and Sheldon had turned into a berserker with his anti-bacterial weapon.

I can still hear his cries of "Die, you evil stain on my perpetually clean furniture! Die die die!"

It's actually very entertaining to see other people clean.

iv

A string of disappointing boyfriends later, Leonard asked me out. I was ready for a change at that time, and it wasn't a bad idea at that time. I told him I need some time to think about it though, because of Sheldon. Wouldn't the group dynamics be blown off by the change?

Maybe if he has a girlfriend too, then the change wouldn't be that crazy. Or would it be worst if that happened? It's rather hard to tell.

Either way, I planned to search for someone to balance the equation. Did I just use a math joke? I think I did! All that physicist influence must be doing a number on my vocabulary. I must've ate a thesaurus when I met these guys, just so I can understand their conversations.

Back to the problem, a date for the lovely, neurotic Sheldon and his idiosyncrasies.

If I were to get a similarly afflicted with emotional stunt and logical girl, they are never going anywhere. Both of them would be marooned in their isolation and enjoy it. Being a friend of Sheldon, I think that's a waste of all that jokes and sarcasm. He deserves someone who would teach him how to navigate through social situations, understand his problems, is straight forward when dealing with his shortcomings and will honestly tell him in private when he's being an embarrassment instead of publically shaming him. That way, he might enjoy the subtle exchanges and intellectual socializing. His girlfriend has got to know what he's talking about. Where can I find someone perfect like that?!

Face meets palm.

Facebook might shortlist some people. I know! I'll recruit Leonard and his friends! How about Bernadette? Is she the type of person that would fit Sheldon?

I guess I'll have to set up a field test.

v

I had invited them over to watch Chuck on my big flat-screen TV. It was a series that had lots of techno-babble in it I thought they would enjoy the science a bit. On second thought, this might be the worst series to choose from a bunch of science action series. Perhaps Fringe would be better?

"The problem about these action series isn't the story. It's the logic within the story line that makes me more than a little doubtful on the legitimacy of the claim that one long view of a movie could transfer so many images into someone's mind." Sheldon ranted his logical fallacy what not's.

"It's a show targeted for a large audience. People who watch these aren't expecting the plot to be difficult to grasp or follow the logic of a neuroscientist. They didn't hire professionals to validate the possibilities of what was inflicted on the main character to be within the abilities of the technology of this age."

Don't encourage him, Leonard! Le Nerd! The nerd! Aha! Oh, wait, wrong train of thought.

"There was that part when she showed him the bomb and he accepts it without a single question that it could be wrong. When proved to be a wrong assumption, he runs into danger again... and revealed that he didn't trust her to her face. He need some acting classes. Or is it better if he has rudimentary psychology... "

"The voice of the narrator is awesome." I said to derail the topic. Oh, shut up the both of you, I'm trying to enjoy the show, not a debate!

"Penny, that isn't a valid argument." I glared at Sheldon, who snaps his mouth shut. Leonard seems to receive message when Sheldon turned to stare at the screen, his mouth moving soundlessly. Probably running a scathing commentary about how all the science in the series was unsupported or something.

The day passed somewhat better when the episode ends and I switched to Star Trek. They never complain about how teleportation doesn't exist or ships that big can't float or something. Odd. And probably because everyone knows that the stuff in Star Trek is made of dreams.

Bernadette knocked on the door at the moment the huge ship hovered into the screen.

I jumped up to get the door, knowing that the boys would be watching the movie like a hawk. Bernadette came in and saw that I had started Star Trek without her.

"Oh, it's Star Trek for today? I should've gotten here earlier!"

Both of the boys turned to look at her, distracted by the new voice.

"Who is it?"

"This is Bernadette, Bernadette, these are my neighbours! The tall one in the red shirt is Sheldon and the one with glasses and hoodie is Leonard."

"Oh. Hi, Bernadette." Leonard greeted. Sheldon turned back to Star Trek after a quick glance to make sure she wasn't armed. Hmm, nothing beats Star Trek in terms of importance, eh?

There was a vacated seat next to Sheldon, and another next to Leonard. I left it to chance and went to get some drinks for Bernie.

"What drink would you like, Bernie?"

"What do you have?"

"OJ, coffee, milk, chocolate, water and wine."

"Milk's okay." I picked up the carton and poured some into a cup for her and got myself some hot chocolate.

Sheldon must've heard her reply because he was mumbling about milk being inappropriate when watching a movie when I passed him by. Bernadette had sat next to Leonard. Darn, she didn't sit next to Sheldon because he was being dismissive earlier. Leonard, being the gentleman he is, had the tendency to cower in the presence of potential girl-friend material.

The lights went out. I might've timed the field test date to clash with the electric maintenance at the apartments. I even hid a copy of the black-out announcement from my nerdy neighbours.

Two yelps and a gasp. Maybe I should've made a surprised sound but without proper lighting they can't see me laughing at them.

A/N:Chapter edited on 20th July because I had changed some terms.