Ssssssssssssssssss. Flush.
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"Come on, goddamn it."
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"YES! FUCK. God. Oh my FUCK thank god. That was almost really fucking terrible. Hey Ino! Guess what! I'm not pregnant! Wooooo!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I'M IN THE SHOWER!"
"I SAID I'M NOT PREGNANT YOU DEAF BITCH!"
"HEY FUCK YOU! I AM A LOVELY LADY, YOU FUCKING WHORE! LET'S CELEBRATE BY GETTING DRUNK OFF OUR ASSES!"
"HELL YEA! NOW HURRY THE FUCK UP!"
Hello, my name is Haruno Sakura. I'm 26 years old and have recently earned my M.D. and am now starting my residency at the Hikari Hospital in Konoha. As you may have noticed, I can be somewhat boisterous. Some even say whimsical. Others, downright vulgar. But before you call me anything, let me show you around.
See that girl right there whom I screamed at across the apartment? The blonde putting lipstick on and puckering at her reflection like a goddamn fish. That's Ino Yamanaka, my roommate and my best friend. I love her to death. She's honest, generous, respectful, and pays half the rent like a true friend.
"INO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY RED PUMPS?"
"THEY'RE MINE NOW YA EVIL BITCH!"
"GODDAMN IT, INO!"
Yep, a true friend. Right now Ino is working as a waitress at Kai's Sushi Bistro while aspiring to be an actress. Believe it or not, we weren't always this close. Since elementary school, we had always bickered and never got along. Once we were in high school, though, something just clicked and we became best friends. Then after graduation, I went to college and Ino left to travel the world. And now we're roommates. Cute, right? We have other friends too like Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru and a couple others but I'll tell you about them later.
Now, you're probably wondering about the pregnancy thing. Well, I'm not quite sure where to start. See, a couple of weeks ago I felt kind of depressed and unattractive and decided to feel better with a couple of drinks at my usual bar. Really bad idea. Somehow my first drink escalated to me waking up naked in a bed that was not mine and next to a man that I did not know - who was also naked. So there you have it, that's my sad little story. Unfortunately, I have to wait 2 more months to test for any STD's. I am so fucking STOKED.
Boodadoop!
Sweet! A notification! I can't believe I almost forgot to mention it. Give me one sec.
Dear Rosy,
I've been having trouble giving my boyfriend good handjobs. He says he likes it but I know he's just being nice. I'm not that experienced so when I do it I feel like I'm hurting him or - I don't know - something just doesn't feel right. Got any tips?
Sincerely,
Tight Grip
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Dear Tight Grip,
Try giving him a blowjob first or licking/spitting on your hand before giving him a handjob. Or you can use lube or lotion instead. It should feel really good for him and also not feel as awkward for you when you do it. Try to avoid giving handjobs without some kind of lubrication. You could tear his skin and cause it to scab and that would be a real mood ruiner. You can use both hands or just one, it's all up to preference (that goes for speed and grip too). And remember, a lot of the sensation comes from the top of the penis, but that does not mean you should ignore the rest! If you'd like more specific tips or instructions, feel free to PM me. Hope this helps!
Sincerely,
Rosy
Yea, I run a sex advice blog. So what? And yes, Rosy is my pen name. . . Shut the fuck up.