"Love is wonderful. It is the rain that wets the crops... it is the peanut butter sent to starving orphans in Africa... it is the feet of the clam."
-Benjamin Franklin
Scorpius knew it was love at first sight the instant he saw Albus Severus's moist eyes. They were slick and wide with hope and love for the world, beacons of joy beckoning Scorpius to a higher plane of existence.
"Slytherin!" the Sorting Hat shouted as it bounced like a boob on a sunday morning. The newest Member of Slytherin house and the sexiest piece of twelve year old ass that Scorpius had ever seen walked straight towards him his eyes glittering with the hopes of a million new born babes. Scorpius intended to fulfill all of those hopes, even if babies don't really ever hope for blow jobs from twelve year olds they just met.
Albus sighed as he sat next to Scorpius. SCorpius chose to intrepret this sigh as a sexual meandering thoughts sigh. In reality, Albus was sad that he was not in Grynnndor like his parents. He had his father's eyes, but his father's eyes contained less babies.
"Hey there gorgeous lollipop," Scorpius growled as he slid closer to Albus, small amounts of spit crumbling from his lips as he closerer examined Albus's rotund chin. "What's goin' down in that sexy think pan of yours, dawg?"
"I am the first person in my family to be in Slytherin house. Why am I here? I'm not evil. I have never murdered anyone, unless the Sorting Hat knows about... chips. I like chips."
"I love chips. Want me to dips... your chips?" Scorpius grabbed a nearby chip and attempted to rub it on Albus's face, meekly.
"I like beans. That's my face though." Albus peerowetted off the bench and slumped to a different seat. "My face isn't beans," he muttered. "Stupid Slytherins." Scorpius gazed at Albus's slowly gyrating tushie. Majestic...
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Author's Note: this is legal. I repeat. First amendment. No haters! :D Else I'll use the second amendment too! AMERICUHHHH