Hello and welcome to my first songfic, my summary has decribed the bases of this fic so there is nothing left to do but get on with the show
Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat DO NOT own naruto or songs in is this Fic
Chapter 1 – Team Seven & Sannin
A letter is sent to ninja worldwide
Location: The Black Kunai of Konoha
Time: Whenever you get there
Purpose: To gain what you most desire
In a black basement the size of small village where some of the worlds most famous or infamous ninjas from Sannin to Akatsuki members all were here to get whatever it is they want.
Orochimaru: Is this really where the Gay pride parade is held?
Tsunade: "Shut the fuck up you damned pedophile, the all you can drink sake contest will be here."
Jiraiya: "Well both of you bitches are wrong the donkey show will be seen tonight."
Both Jiraiya's old teammates look at him questionably.
Tsunade: "I didn't think you went that low."
Jiraiya: "IT'S NOT LOW"
Sasuke walks in the door and looks around with a questioning look. "Gay pride parade?"
Naruto jumps up and and said "I told all you fuckers but noooo Naruto is never right about these kind of things."
Sakura crying in the corner "WHY IS KAMI SO CRUEL WHY SASUKE WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"
Kakashi walks up to everyone "Yo, what are you all here for?"
Orochimaru: A parade
Sasuke: same
Jiraiya: Donkey show
Tsunade: Drinking contest
Sakura still crying
Naruto: Free ramen you?
Kakashi eye smiles: A book signing for the GREATS PIECE OF WORK TO EVER COME OUT ON PAPER.
Me: EVERYONE PLEASE POINT YOUR ATTENION TOWARD ME AT THE STAGE also drinks at the bar
Tsunade plows through the crowd to get to the bar
Naruto: Who are you?
Me: Me well I am the one who lured you all here for a Karaoke night
Everyone: Okay
Me: Well who will be first?
Kakashi walks forward on to the stage
I've paid my dues
Time after time
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand
Kicked in my face
But i've come through
And i need to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions of the world
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You've bought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been no bed of roses no pleasure cruise
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
And i ain't gonna lose
And i need to go on and on and on and on
We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions of the world
We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions
Me: Next Sakura
Sakura: This is for you Sasuke-kun
Sasuke is talking to Orochimaru not even paying attention
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
if it ain't you baby ,if i ain't got you baby
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
but everything means nothing if i ain't got you
yeah
some people search for a fountain
promises are forever yours
some people need the dozen roses
that's the only way you prove
you love them
hand me the world
on a silver platter
then what a what good it would be
no one to share
no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
if it ain't you baby, if i ain't got you baby
some people want diamons rings
some just want everything
but everything is nothing if i ain't got you
(repeatx2)
yeah
if i ain't got you with me baby
Naruto: why the hell was she singing about collar greens?
Sakura walks up and hits him in to a wall "DIAMOND RINGS YOU BAKA
Sasuke pimp walks to the stage: I guess I will go next
Just tell me what you've got to say to me,
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth,
It comes as no surprise at all you see,
So cut the crap and tell me that we're through.
Now I know your heart, I know your mind,
You don't even know you're being unkind,
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways,
Just use me up and then you walk away,
Boy you can't play me that way.
Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.
When I saw my best friend yesterday,
She said she never liked you from the start,
Well me, I wish that I could claim the same,
But you always knew you held my heart.
And you're such a charming handsome man,
Now I think I finally understand,
Is it in your genes?, I don't know,
But I'll soon find out, that's for sure,
Why did you play me this way?.
Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.
Well I guess what they say is true,
I could never spend my life with a man like you,
I could never be your woman.
Jiraiya whispers to Kakashi: Do you think he realized he called himself a woman?
Kakashi: Only Kami knows.
Tsunade stumbles on to the stage and holds on to the mic stand for support: I will rock this shit
[Chorus: repeat 2X
Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession
Love me or hate me, that is the question
If you love me then - thank you
If you hate me then - fuck you!
[Tsunade
I'm fat, I need a diet, no in fact I'm just too light
And I ain't got the biggest breasteses, but I write all the best disses
(Cha-ching!) I got hairy armpits, but I don't walk around like this
I wear a big baggy t-shirt that hides that nasty shit (yeah)
Ewww! Never had my nails done
Bite them down until they're numb
I'm the one with the non-existent bum
Now I dont really give a - EWWW!
I'm late for my shepherd's pie
Like a high maintenance chick missin her diamonds
I'm missin my clippers lies, now bow down to your royal highness
No I dont own a Corgi, had a hamster it died cause I ignored it
Go on then, go on report me, I'm English - try and deport me!
[Chorus
[Tsunade
I'm that funky little monkey with the tiniest ears
I don't like drinkin fancy champy, I'll stick with Heineken beers
LOUD BELCH Whoops! Might burp in ya face
A little unladylike, what can I say?
Well oh gosh, I'm not posh, may I wear odd socks
I do what I'm doin - YEAH!
So everybody's entitled to opinions
I open my mouth and shit I got millions
I'm the middle kid, the riddle kid
I'll make you giggle 'til ya sick, my nose jiggles when I spit
Yeah I do have some stories, and it's true I want all the glory
Go on then, come on support, I'm English - try and deport me!
[Chorus
[Tsunade
Love me or hate me, love me or hate me
Love me or hate me.. ah ha ha laughing
[repeat 2X
So I can't dance and I really can't sing, yeah
I can only do one thing and that's be Lady Sovereign
[Chorus - 2X
Me: She most be fucking hammered, well Orochimaru get your gay ass up here
Orochimaru skips to the stage and takes off his clothes to reveal the outfit Shakira wears in video for Whenever, Wherever
Orochimaru: This is for you Sasy-kun
Whenever, wherever
We'll learn to
Be together
I'll be there and
You'll be near
And that's the
Deal my dear
They're over
You're under
You'll never have
To wonder
We can always
Play by ear
But that's the
Deal my dear
Lucky that my lips
Not only mumble
They spill kisses
Like a fountain
Lucky that my breasts
Are small and humble
So you don't confuse them
With mountains
Lucky I have strong legs
Like my mother
To run for cover
When I need it
And these two eyes
Are for no other
The day you leave
We'll cry a river
Lo ro lo le lo le
Lo ro lo le lo le
At your feet
I'm at your feet
Whenever, wherever
We're meant to
Be together
I'll be there and
You'll be near
And that's the
Deal my dear
They're over
You're under
You'll never have
To wonder
We can always
Play by ear
But that's the
Deal my dear
Lo ro lo le lo le
Lo ro lo le lo le
We can fly
Say it again
Lo ro lo le lo le lo le
Tell me
One more time
That you'll live
Lost in my eyes
Whenever, wherever
We'll learn to
Be together
I'll be there and
You'll be near
And that's the
Deal my dear
They're over
You're under
You've got me
Head over heels
There's nothing
Left to fear
If you really feel
The way I feel
Everyone except Sasuke fall on to the floor screaming: MY EYES
Sasuke cries: THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL
Jiraiya gets up: Well time to show you all what a real man can do, my song will be for you Tsunade
You're as cold as ice
You're willing to sacrifice our love
You never take advice
Someday you'll pay the price
I know
I've seen it before
It happens all the time
You're closing the door
You leave the world behind
You're digging for gold
Yet throwing away
A fortune in feelings
But someday you'll pay
You're as cold as ice
You're willing to sacrifice our love
You want paradise
But someday you'll pay the price
I know
I've seen it before
It happens all the time
You're closing the door
You leave the world behind
You're digging for gold
Yet throwing away
A fortune in feelings
But someday you'll pay
Cold as ice, you know that you are
Cold, cold, as, as, ice, as cold as ice to me
Cold, cold, as, as, ice
Ooh, ooh, ooh, cold as, cold as ice
You're as cold as ice
You're as cold as ice, cold as ice, i know
You're as cold as ice, yes i know
You're as cold as ice, cold as ice, i know
You're as cold as ice, oh yes i know
You're as cold as ice, cold as ice, i know
You're as cold as ice, oh yes i know
You're as cold as ice, cold as ice
Tsunade beat Jiraiya in to the ground and he was taken to the hospital
Me: And then there was one
Naruto: What are you talking about?
Me: YOU, you dumb-ass
Naruto: Oh well then KAGE NO BUNSHIN
Clones appear
eat. Eightball & MJG, Young Buck
[DJ Paul
Yeaaaaah!
For the first time it's goin down, history baby!
New Three 6 Mafia, featuring Eightball and MJG, Young Buck!
It's a Tennessee thing!
[Hook: Juicy J
I gotta stay high, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh
Till I die, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie
I gotta stay high, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh
Till I die, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie
I gotta stay high, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh
Till I die, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie
I gotta stay high, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh
Till I die, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie, ie
[Juicy J
Heyyyy
Call me the Juice and you know I'm a stunt
Ridin in the car with some bump in the trunk
Tone in my lap and you know it's a pump
Breakin down the good green, rollin the blunt
Ghetto pimp tight girls say I'm the mayne
Ice on the wrist with the ice in the chain
Ridin through the hood, got me grippin the grain
And I'm sippin the same, while I'm changin the lane
Eyes real tight cause I'm cho-ckin the green
Vision messed up cause I'm drinkin to lean
Messin with a D-Boy, ridin them big toys
Make your man-gal wanna get on my team
She gotta give it up before she get in my car
I ain't Denzel but I know I'm a star
Cause when I'm in the club, I be back in the fog
In the V.I.P. part and be buyin the bar
[DJ Paul
DJ Paul is a dog, one you do not trust
You leave your green around me nigga your green gonna get lit up
You leave your drink around me believe your drink gonna get drunk up
You leave your girl around me if she bad she gonna get stuck
These niggaz is spies, we live them lives
And keep them knives tight, ridin round what they like
Make a couple numb, a couple will die
So purple, p-purple, p-purple and swallow it down with
the yurple, yurple, yurple
It's goin dowwwwwn
[Hook
[Young Buck
Puff puff pass nigga roll that blunt
Let's get high nigga smoke a swunt
Paul pulled out the Phantom, niggaz can't stand it
But them hoes gonna come out
Just really wanna smoke my weed, fuck these hoes and stack my g'z
Stop at the light and pause on Three
Hit the mall and it be all on me but
Gotta keep one eye up on the po-po, close the window
when I roll the indo
Know they mad, cause I'm rollin Benzo
This that purple, not pretend though
Three 6 Mafia them my kinfolks, so when I'm in
Memphis, Tennekee
I just might not bring my own cause them niggaz there
let me smoke for free
[Crunchy Black
What's up Mary? (how you doin?), Mary Jane (stalkin me)
Since I have met ya girl you ruined my brain (ruined my brain)
You stole my heart (stole my heart), right from the start (right from the start)
So I broke you down, let momma put you in the garden (put you in the garden)
[Hook
[Eightball
Shrimp roll, full of that dro
Leave the club full of Rose' Mo
Your girlfriend wanna ride with me
In a car with a pimp where she supposed to be
You ain't met no dude spit it cold as me
The bag of kush cost 650, have a nigga who smoke Reggie Miller
Coughin and chockin constantly
Taste like soup when you hit it, gotta have bread to get it
Smoke all night, sleep all day
That's to me the American way
Roll that shit, light that shit, hit that shit, hold that shit
Blow that shit out slow, then pass it to me bro
[MJG
MJ finna sprinkle in some of that, super incredible
have a nigga runnin back
Where that nigga with the hood sticky number at?
Cuttin up a cigarillo like a lumber jack
In the mornin, when I need this and breath again a whole lotta weed but uh
I'm needin somebody to give me what I need
when I want nothin less then the best of the trees
DJ Paul and Juicy J, Eightball and MJG
And Young Buck we don't give a fuck we must represent this Tennessee
We drink a whole lot of Hennessy
Nigga got a lil hair on his chest
Do me like Bill Clinton girl, take it out ya mouth
we'll shoot it right down on your dress
[Juicy J
I gotta stay high, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh, igh
Everybody looks at him
Naruto scratches the back of his head: What?
Well that is chapter one so tell me what you all think
REVIEW LIKE YOU ARE REVIEWING SOMETHING YOU THING IS GOOD
Kakashi/ We are the Champions - Queens
Sakura/ If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
Sasuke/ Your Woman – White Town
Tsunade/ Love Me or Hate Me - Lady Sovereign
Orochimaru/ Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
Jiraiya/ Cold as Ice – Foreigner
Naruto/ Stay Fly – Three 6 Mafia