A/N: This is dark and doesn't have a happy ending. The contents are graphic. If that's not your cup of tea, please read something else. Don't like, don't read.

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "Monster" – Meg & Dia

~*.*~
'His little whispers, 'Love me; love me.
That's all I ask for – love me – love me.'
He battered his tiny fists to feel something – wondered what it's like to touch and feel something.

Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here looking through the window.'
~*.*~

I threw myself down on my bed, unceremoniously. It's been a long day. Eli decided it would be a good idea to take MDMA at school. Apparently, streaking sounded good, too. I cracked. After he came down from his high, I told him that we were done. I told him that I couldn't do it anymore. He didn't take it well. He was still screaming at me, when I was walking out of the school.

Jake took me home, but he had to leave to help Glen with some job. I have no idea where my mother is. So, as usual, I'm home alone… no big surprise there.

"Clare," a voice said softly, from my closet door. I jumped and thrashed around for some sort of weapon. "Relax Blue Eyes. It's me." Eli said, coming out of my closet. I froze.

"Eli, what are you doing here?" I asked him. He smirked.

"Did you honestly think that I was going to let you break up with me, Clare? You're my soul-mate. We're meant to be together. Surely, you see that. We've had a rough couple of weeks, but we can work through it… just like we work through everything else." He ranted.

"No, Eli, we can't. We're over and we're both better off that way. You don't want me. You just like the idea of me." I tried to reason with him. He shook his head and sighed, before sitting down on my bed, next to me. I scooted closer to the wall and made my way to other edge of the bed. As soon as I stood up, he grabbed my wrist.

"Stay, Clare. You owe me that much." He whispered.

"I don't owe you anything anymore, Eli." I corrected him. He chuckled and pulled my arm. I cried out as he yanked me back onto the bed and onto my back. "Eli, stop." I breathed.

"Why should I? If I stop, you're just going to leave me. We can't have that now; can we?"

"Stop." I told him, firmly.

"You're mine, Clare. You will always be mine and I'm going to make sure of that." He threatened me. My heart raced and threatened to beat out of my chest. I started to hyperventilate. I tried to get my wrist free and push him away from me. "Don't you want me, Clare? There was a time when you were ready to give yourself to me, but I didn't think that you were ready. Don't you remember that? I do. I think about it all the time. I was so stupid for saying no. Do you know how hard it was turning you down? You're so innocent and that's part of what makes you so enticing. I've pictured being your first so many times, in so many different ways. I think about how it would feel knowing that I was your first lover and no other man could ever take my place. I bet your pussy feels even better than I imagined, Clare. I bet it'll fit me like a fucking glove. Tell me, Clare, have you touched yourself? Show me." He purred in my ear, trying to coax me into going along with his insanity.

"You're delusional, Elijah. I'm not having sex with you."

"I know that, Clare." He assured me. I let out a sigh of relief. It feels like I can breathe again. "I'm going to make love to you." He corrected me. My heart plummeted into my stomach.

"No." I scrambled off the bed and managed to get my arm free. I ran to the door, only to have him run after me and grab me from behind. He picked me up and threw me onto my bed, before locking my bedroom door.

"You're mine, Clare. I'm going to make sure that you never forget that."

"You can't be serious." I whimpered. The way that he was looking at me told me that he was very serious. He started unbuttoning his jeans. I clamped my legs closed and looked for something to use against him. Seriously?! I don't even have a pair of scissors up here?! "Shit." I mumbled.

"I am very serious, Clare." He smirked, before lunging at me. I grunted as his full weight landed on top of me. He pinned my wrists, easily. I was fighting back, but it didn't seem to make a difference. I saw him take something metallic out of his back pocket.

"You're really going to rape me, Eli?!" I asked, becoming completely hysterical. No sooner had the words left my lips, Eli pressed his lips to mine. I tried to move my face and break the kiss, but it was like he was cemented to me. I heard something click, but I couldn't see what he was doing. I jerked when I felt something clamp down on both of my wrists. I hissed in pain, as the metal bit my skin. Handcuffs?! He fucking handcuffed me to my own bed frame?! Eli pulled away and looked at his handiwork. He smirked.

"We both know that you want this, just as much as I do. You're afraid to admit it to yourself, Clare. It's okay, Blue Eyes. I'm going to take care of you, and then you'll see what you're missing. Trust me – you're going to enjoy this as much as I am." He promised, smiling.

It's sickening. It seems like he actually believes what he's saying. It's like the fact that he has to tie me down and force himself on me doesn't even register as wrong. I don't think I can get out of this and for the first time, I am genuinely afraid that he's going to hurt me. What's worse is... I don't think he really cares.

I did the only thing that I could think to do – I screamed. I screamed as loudly as I could and started thrashing, trying to jerk him off of me.

I was moving too much to see him hit me. I felt it, before it registered. My voice cracked and my scream died in my throat. I felt blood trickle down my chin. My lip is busted.

"Things would go so much smoother for you, if you just cooperated, Clare." Eli warned me. I shook my head, frantically.

"I don't want this, Eli. I don't want you. I don't want to sleep with you. I'm telling you, 'No.' If you force yourself on me, it's assault. I swear to God that I will never forgive you for this. You've done a lot of stupid things while we were together, but none were this bad. If you do this, you're going to lose me… not just romantically, forever. I will hate you until the day I die, Elijah. Don't you fucking touch me!" I screeched.

His face remained impassive. He pulled something off of the floor and I realized that it was a much longer pair of handcuffs. Everything clicked. He had to have planned this. There's no way that he carries these around with him – one pair of handcuffs… maybe, but not two.

He grabbed my foot, but I moved it away from him. I knew that it wouldn't be long, until he grabbed it. There's only so much I can do without my hands. He cuffed my foot to the foot-board on my bed-frame and I really started to panic.

"Don't do this, please." I pleaded. My pleas fell on deaf ears. He gave my other foot the same treatment. I was shaking uncontrollably, now. He's actually gonna do. I can't believe he's actually going through with it.

"When I'm finished with you, Blue Eyes, you'll be begging me to do it again." He smirked and started kissing his way up my leg. I trembled and tried to slow my breathing. If I keep going at this rate, I'm going to pass out. But, would that really be that bad? I don't know. I don't fucking know anything anymore.

Eli started to pull down my boyshorts and I started crying. Sobs shook my body. He didn't seem to notice or care. I felt something sharp kiss my skin. I looked down and saw him with a pocket knife. He cut through the fabric of my underwear and shoved them into his pocket.

He licked his lips and settled in the middle of my legs. He gripped my hips and nestled his face in between my thighs.

"Don't!" I cried. He chuckled, darkly, before opening my lower lips to take a more intimate look at me. I sobbed, harder. I felt his breath, before his tongue.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good, Clare." He breathed against me. I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't take my mind any place else. I can't forget that he's the one touching me or violating whatever trust I still had in him.

His tongue found my clit and my back arched, involuntarily. I hate myself for responding to his advances. He knows my body so well, and he's using that against me. I don't want this. I'm not ready for this, but I can't stop my body from responding. I feel so beyond betrayed.

He shoved a finger inside of my heat. I winced. He wasn't gentle, by any means. He started finger me, without any regard for me. As brutal as his movements were, he was sitting something inside of me that had me writhing with him. I couldn't control the sounds that were dripping from my lips. With the combination of his tongue toying with my clit and his finger hitting my g-spot, I was on my way to my undoing.

He started moving faster, harder, and with increased fervor. I moaned as I felt my abdomen tighten. I was numb for a second, before I was shot into oblivion. He kept lapping up my juices, as I rode my forced high.

When my orgasm started to fade, I cringed away from him. He kissed my stomach and pushed up my dress. He massaged my sides and took extra time caressing my breasts. My weeping doubled. He nuzzled my neck and brushed my curls out of my face.

"Didn't that feel good, Clare?" He asked me. I refused to answer him, as hot tears blazed down my face. "The real thing will feel even better." He smirked. "You're so beautiful when you climax. I'd love to film it, one day." He whispered. I looked at him in horror. "You look so pretty all bound. I love knowing that you're mine and I can do anything to you and you have to take it. You know you enjoy it. Don't you, Edwards? Blue Eyes has a secret kinky side." He added, before pulling something else out of his pocket.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It's a condom. He's really going through with it.

"No!" I screamed. He grabbed my cheeks and forced me to look at him.

"Stop fighting this." He growled. I jerked my face out of his grip. He pushed his jeans down and his boxers. His erection came to life. I squeezed my eyes closed. "Look at me!" He demanded, squeezing my face, again. My forced my eyes open and stared him in the face, wondering where the man went that I fell in love with. "Look at all of me!" He bit out. I bit down on my lip, to try and get my crying under control and glanced down at his manhood and then back up to his face. "What's the matter, Clare? Does it scare you?" He mocked.

He stood up and took off his clothes. I turned and looked at the wall. It's better than looking at him. I felt the bed dip and I knew he was sitting next to me. He straddled my chest, and knelt with his dick by my face. I refused to acknowledge him.

"Open your mouth, Blue Eyes." He commanded, softly. I ignored him. He growled and grabbed me by my hair. He forced me to look in his direction. Two of his fingers pried my lips open. One hand gripped my hair and the other worked its way into my mouth. My tears were falling at full force, now. "Open your fucking mouth, Edwards!" He yelled.

I flinched. Without warning, he moved his hand out of my mouth and replaced it with his dick. I coughed and tried to bite down, but he just pulled my hair tighter and forced himself deeper into my throat. I gagged and struggled to breathe.

"God, your mouth feels fucking amazing, Clare. I bet I can turn you into my little cock slut in no time." He grunted as he thrusted in and out of my mouth. Finally, he pulled out. "I can't wait to see what your tight, little cunt feels like around my cock." He whispered in my ear. I shook. I just want this to be over. I know that I'm not getting away and I hate him for it, but I can't take anymore. I just want it to be done!

"I hate you!" I whimpered. "I fucking hate you, Eli. I've never hated anyone, as much as I hate you." I sobbed. He didn't say anything in return, just rolled on his condom. He positioned himself between my legs and looked at me, until I looked at him. "P-please, d-don't d-do th-th-this." I stammered, between sobs.

He shoved himself inside of me and I screamed. It feels like he's ripping me apart. He didn't go slow or give me any time to adjust. He just pulled out and thrust into me harder than before. I wailed as he kept forcing himself inside of my abused core.

Eventually, he pulled out. I let out a sigh of relief. It's finally over. It's over and he can go. I just want him to leave me alone.

He ripped off the condom and threw it on my stomach. I looked at him in confusion as he kept pumping his dick. He's not going to… Is he…? He straddled my middle and moved his hand with more enthusiasm. Eli grunted and a stream of hot, white ejaculate landed all over my chest and face. I closed my eyes and cried as I waited for him to move off of me.

"That was amazing, Blue Eyes. You're the best fuck I've ever had, Clare." He whispered. He kissed my cheek, careful not to get anything on himself. "I want you to remember this forever, Edwards. Can you do that?" He asked me, softly. I opened my eyes and looked at him with as much hate and loathing as I could muster.

"I'll spend the rest of my life trying to forget it." I promised. His smirk turned into an outright sneer. "Just go. You've done enough." I told him, as my voice broke.

"You want to forget what we did?" He echoed. "Why do you want to hurt me, Clare?" He growled. He picked up his knife and ran it up my leg, to my waist. "Maybe I should give you something to remember me by. What do you think?" He asked me.

"No. Get out!" I screamed. "Just get out! Get out! I never want to see you again!" I seethed.

He just laughed and pressed down on my torso. He didn't waste any time. I felt white, hot pain burn through me. He started cutting into my waist. He kept making more and more cuts. I have no idea what he's carving into me.

"There, now you'll never forget who you belong to." He smirked.

"What did you do?" I whimpered.

"I carved my name into you." He laughed. My stomach lurched. I turned my head to the side and vomited all over the edge of my bed. "Thank you for tonight, Blue Eyes. I love you." He kept talking as I threw up the contents of my stomach. I kept dry-heaving. He waited until I was finished to keep talking. "I'll be seeing you, Clare. I'll check and see how you're doing tomorrow." He promised. He got dressed and pocketed the knife. I watched him walk over to the door and unlock it, before opening it. He took out two pairs of handcuff keys and tossed them onto the floor on the other side of my room.

"You're leaving me like this?" I asked him, humiliated. "Haven't you done enough?!"

"It's only fitting; isn't it? After all, you left me earlier." He smirked, before walking out.

Any resolve I had left shattered. I wept until I couldn't anymore. I trembled long after my tears ran dry. I can only hope that my mother is the one who finds me. I don't want anyone to see me like this. Eli didn't even shut the fucking door.

"Oh, my God, Clare!" My mother screamed. I jerked away and forced my eyes to focus. She and Jake stood dumbstruck in my doorway. "Who did this to you?!" She asked me, rushing to my side.

"E-Eli did." I told her, softly. My voice is gone from screaming earlier. "I br-broke up with h-him at sch-school and he came here to lay his cl-claim." I struggled to tell her. Jake flipped on my bedroom light and saw the keys on the floor. He scooped them up and started to take off the handcuffs.

"Helen, call the police." He told her, curtly. She looked at him and then back at me, before nodding. She pulled out her phone and made a frantic phone call. "It's gonna be okay, Clare." He told me, handing me some tissues to wipe my mouth with.

"I need to take a shower. I feel so dirty, Jake." I whispered, fresh tears claiming my face.

"Wait until you talk to the cops. They'll need samples for DNA and stuff."

"Okay," I breathed.

Tonight was the longest of my life. I had to answer so many questions and go to the hospital to have a rape kit taken. It was hours before I could go home and shower. My mother had called someone to professionally clean my room. I couldn't look at it anymore.

Jake let me stay in his room. He volunteered to sleep on the floor. Despite the sedatives they gave me, I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face. I know that I'll never forget what he did to me and I know that I'll never be the same person.

They arrested Eli, but I still jump at every sound I hear. He broke me and for that, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to forgive him.

~*.*~
'That night he caged her, bruised and broke her.
He struggled closer, then he stole her.
Violet wrists and then her ankles – silent pain…
Then, he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.

Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here looking through the window.'
~*.*~

Review?
-Anneryn