To Live Another Day

I could feel her presence receding, inching its way out of her body forever, out of my life… forever… I grasped her hand tighter… tighter! Squeezing her as if to remind her that I needed her. She couldn't leave! Not yet! We had so much we needed to do together.

'Stay!', I barked the command at her. Her resistance strengthened momentarily. She gasped for precious air, forcing herself to breathe… for me.

I could see what it cost her. But I urged her ever further, dreaming selfishly of the life we could share if she suffered just a bit more. Even if only for a short time, I would have her. But her strength went as easily as it had come, leaving her exhausted. She couldn't force herself any further. It was just avoiding the inevitable.

I hated myself for doing this to her. She was so pure, a woman who truly served God with all her might. And I, her demon lover, who had tainted her sweet flesh; desecrating her soul, and stealing her life. Even now, as she lay dying, her precious minutes were with me, the one who had killed her.

I turned my head away, but could not bring myself to pull my hands away from her. She deserved someone to respect her final moments. Even if it was her killer.

A sob choked in my throat. She would not see me cry. She would not! I had taken everything away from her, and yet I somehow felt I had the right to feel pain. I sat there and cursed everything; God, the world. How could it end like this? Was it my punishment, brought against her because of my love for her?

The thought left me horrorstruck.

What if she lay dying as penance for my earlier sins? How could she face that so diligently?! I forced myself to look at her. I hated everything at the moment she looked up at me and smiled. She reached up her hand to my face and brushed my cheek with her fingers. I flinched away from her touch, revolted by my own extreme inferiority.

Her smile became a frown, loving eyes tainted with confusion and fright. She needed love, but I hated myself too much to allow myself to love her. She was everything in that moment. I cared not for anything but her peace and happiness. I gazed at her with a coldly stoic face, hoping she might realize my insignificance, and secretly wishing she wouldn't. It would be more than I deserved.

As another bout of her sickness came, she was left struggling for breath and in sobs. As it drew to a dramatic close, her hair covered her face, her eyes in shadow. I was afraid… so afraid that she was already dead.

I was relieved when she looked up. But her eyes chilled me to my core. She looked so totally and helplessly alone. She had wanted my love, and had been rejected. Those pools of deep azure were doing what I'd most feared and deserved…

They accused me.

'Why hadn't I done what she wanted? ; Why was I here, when I had killed her?' But most of all, they asked 'How could you do this to me?'

I couldn't take it anymore. My eyes grew heavy with tears as I sobbed to the ground at her feet. Begging… pleading for her forgiveness.

'Please! Please...!' I choked, not even fully comprehending what I was asking for. I dare not look up. I was a lowly servant, and she, a goddess more precious to me than God himself. She was everything. I would do anything she asked of me.

The divine woman placed her hands gently under my chin; cupping my cheeks and bringing me too look at her, my lips mere inches away from her serene face. If I just leaned in ever so slightly…No! I looked down in shame.

She gave a small smile and said the words I never dreamed I'd ever hear from anyone ever again…

'I forgive you.'

I looked up hopefully, praying that she was serious. That I was truly forgiven for the most terrible sin that could ever be committed: hurting the one you love most in the world. Her eyes were all-knowing as she stared at me evenly. She reminded me of Mary Magdalene, my past love. My own eyes widened as I feared the fate that had befallen Magdalene would be repeated.

Her glorious expression changed then, to the woman I had known for such a short time, but I loved with all my heart. She had caring, joyful eyes, filled to the brim with love…all for me!

I truly did not deserve her. She was so far above me that I daren't even breathe in the same air that she did. I pulled away slightly, but she pulled me back with renewed strength.

'No.' Her voice echoed across the marble of the church, reverberating through the pews and through my heart. I gazed at her confusedly. She was sitting up, clear-eyed and breathing evenly. My eyes widened in shock as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

Rosette would live. That precious clock that had previously been an omen, now shined with hope for a new day. The seconds ticked by in a steady, reassuring rhythm; the pounding of my own chained heart following in an act that mimed my feelings exactly. My love, however undeserved, and my loyalty to her, would remain long after our bodies had perished.

I bent over, humbled by whatever force had allowed my love, the most precious thing to me ever, to live. It was a miracle, a dream come true. I leaned forward, breath slowly brushing over her soft, yet strong, features.

And as we shared a bone-searing kiss, melding us together forever, I knew that we would fight anything that came our way. And we would win! After all, it had been said before, and would be said again, Rosette could not be beaten by anything, not even by her own death.

We would be together, for a little while at least. So no one and nothing else mattered. She may die tomorrow, but we would live another day. Together. Tomorrow may not come, but then again it just might. And then as we stared together into the unchanging world, even as time sped by, we remained unchanged. And it would be that way forever.

OWARI

AN: Thanks everyone for taking time out of your lives to read my somewhat pitiful excuse for a story. I wrote this forever-and-a-half-ago, so I didn't expect it to turn out the best, but it's deemed an OK by me. Constructive criticism is welcomed and appriciated. Really. I really do love advice! It makes you better. Gosh, I am so nervous... I have to go on TV for this National Vocabulary Championship thing. I hope I do good! prays Well, love to everone(even those who don't review). Thank you once again!

Ja!

TLS