Author's note: So here we go, this is my first major fic, and I have spent a long time writing it. I'm sure there are still some kinks so forgive me, everyone makes mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it.

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

EDIT: so I started to hate this, which is why i haven't updated in forever, and now i am going through and editing it a bit, not a lot because i don't want to change it completely but i just don't know what i'm going to do with it =/

I groaned and turned over on my bed, turning off my alarm clock and then sighing one more time before I sat up. My feet hit the cold floor of the dorm and I shivered as I rubbed my eyes and walked into the loo, to get my morning shower in. I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the shower turning the water on and hoping that it would hurry up and get warm, because I wanted to quickly get down to breakfast and my lovely boyfriend.

Contrary to popular belief, my boyfriend is not James Potter. James Potter is my best mate, strictly mate.

James Potter is tall and not as scrawny as you might think, he is actually pretty fit. He's got hazel eye's and some black rimmed glasses, that don't actually look to bad on him. His hair is jet black just like his fathers and he loves the long look, although it is prone to lie more flat on his head. He is actually pretty attractive, so I see why all the girls like him.

Yes I know, that James is a pig, and yes I know he loves to play with girls hearts. But it's not like I fancy the bloke or anything,remember I have a boyfriend, I just think he is a nice sight and I think everyone would agree with me there. He gets around, and although he wasn't always like this, he now has a reputation of being quiet a slut. I might be on his list, which I'm not to proud of, but at least I'm number one and well I think it was a little more meaningful than most of the girls he was with, but I really have no idea.

It's probably confusing when I say he is strictly my mate and then go on about how gorgeous he is and how i've been with him, but well see there is a story behind that.

Now James and I have always been good friends, the best of actually, we were both in Gryffindor and we got along well. I think the main reason was because I didn't fall at his feet like most girls, but treated him like a real person and not some heavenly figure

However when 5th year rolled around some things changed. I had finally grown out of my baby fat and into my looks, as we all started to really notice the opposite sex. It was awkward and definitely not planned but one night it just sort of happened and well we went from friends to each other's firsts, and that was that. James who I was best mate's with started acting weird around me, and with James meant Brayden was acting weird too, even if he had no idea what happened, they were like a unit.

Brayden Wood, was James's other best mate, and well a good one of mine too. You could usually find the other guys of their year following them around as well, so I was more often than not surrounded by guys.

Anyway, I don't blame them for acting weird because I was acting weird too, we were both too embarrassed to talk about it and we didn't want to screw anything up so we just started hanging out less. So while I never centered my life around him, I decided it was time to branch out. I had a pretty close friend in Ravenclaw, Brynn, who I liked to study with sometimes so I decided I would hangout with her outside of the library, and that is how I started hanging around with Matt.

Matt Hilton, Ravenclaw quidditch captain, prefect, James' life long rival, and my current boyfriend. Yes, Matt is my boyfriend, not James.

Brynn and Matt are twins, and while I always knew who he was, James did like to complain about him a lot and he was Brynn's twin after all, we had never got to talking. However now that I was hanging out with Brynn more, I saw him a lot. So we started talking more, which led to hanging out more, which led to a hogsmade date, our first kiss, and then we were dating. A little cliché, but it worked for me.

Matt is a great boyfriend, don't get me wrong here I really do have strong feelings for him, it's just that now I'm torn between him and James. Not in the way you are thinking, like I said before I don't fancy James, even if he is gorgeous.

The problem is that even how awkward it was that we had sex and didn't talk about it, we couldn't stay away from each other for long so James and I took up our friendship again soon.

So now there is a tension there that hasn't ever really gone away, and probably never will, and my deepest darkest secret is one of the main causes of this.

I don't know why they dislike each other so much really, it is just one of those things where they don't get along. I try to explain to them that I do still think of James as a best mate so he is super important to me, and Matt is my boyfriend so I love him, but they both complain to me about the other which is rather annoying, because of course they both expect me to agree with them. I have taken to walking away if either of them ever brings up the other. It has gotten a little better over the years, but I suppose they are just never going to get along.

I'm Aridella Haynes, although I only go by Della, no one at all is allowed to call me Aridella, I mean honestly what were my parents thinking? I'm in Gryffindor and it's one week into my 7th year of school. I'm about 5 foot 6 with medium length auburn curls. My eye color is of question to many, some say dark blue some say grey but I usually consider them blue, because saying they are grey is weird. I would say I was fairly smart and I'm planning on working as a researcher for a potion distributor's company next year, I know interesting choice right? But I love potions and I love to travel so I figured that was the best way to go about it.

I was just getting out of the shower when I noticed most my dorm mates were already down at breakfast. Makes sense I usually am the last person up, I love sleep, really I do. My dorm mates who were more commonly than not the bane of my existence consisted of four very annoying girls. It's not that we hate each other, or at least I don't hate them, we just don't really get along so I tend to either hang out with the James and Brayden or Matt, Brynn, and their friends.

Like I said before mostly guys. I mean Brynn is one exception to the rule, and there are two other girls who I can stand as well Rose, and Lily, but well those are James' relatives so it's not really that impressive of me. It's not that I care that much about having girl friends though because I have James and Matt, and they are enough. Also girls can just be so annoying, especially considering most girls in this school hate me because I am best mate's with James, and they all think I am secretly dating him.

So I rushed getting ready and ran out the room. I walk into the great hall and over to the Ravenclaw table to see my spot open next to Matt and a plate with my favorite breakfast a poppyseed muffin and pumpkin juice waiting for me. I did mention he was wonderful right?

"Morning love," he says as I sit down and rap my arms around him. I kiss him on the cheek and thank him for setting up my plate. "Your hair smells as amazing as always, mind if I dry it for you though,"

"Oh Bugger, I knew I forgot something," I say as he pulls out his wand and dries it.

"You are too adorable," he says laughing.

Now you may think that we are all gross and fluffy, but I promise we are not one of those couples. I guess I should describe Matt too, he has long dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin. Which adds up to pretty dang hot. He is pretty tall and while not skinny he isn't really buff either, personally he is just right for me. He is smart and a hard worker too, which is nice because he is the best study partner ever especially because the breaks are nice too. And well he is just perfect.

Him being smart is also nice because I have a lot of my classes with him, and he is a much better student then the Gryffindor's so he doesn't distract me during lessons like some people do. The classes I have without him are not to fun though because all of the classes without him in them have James in them and he however does distract me, often. Okay so I guess they aren't really terrible, and can be fun sometimes, but I do like to learn so it can get annoying.

The thing about James Potter that really pisses me off is he is pretty much good at everything and the only thing he ever works hard in is Quidditch (which I'm sure even if he didn't he would still be amazing). So since he doesn't have to work hard in his classes and still get good marks (not amazing, but good enough) he gets really bored and when James is bored he takes to bugging people, usually me. He even bothers me a little in the classes we share with Matt although that is usually less because we don't sit next to each other in those classes.

Today he had taken to levitating bits of paper and shooting them into my hair seeing which would stick and which would bounce off.

I don't think he could be more immature.

I tried to ignore him all class but it was becoming increasingly infuriating so I decided to play back, and I cast a shield around my body so all the bits of paper would bounce off. It wasn't too hard to keep up the shield during class, defense was my second favorite subject after all, and it was good practice on my stamina. James who seems to never get frustrated or bothered by anything I do,(which always makes me more frustrated and bothered) simply started throwing bigger things at me to try to break my shield.

I finally turned around and glared at him, which I knew was what he wanted, and all he could give me was his classic lop-sided grin. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off then turned back around. He stopped after that and turned on to bothering someone else. It was always easy to stop anything he was doing as long as I acknowledged that he was bugging me he would stop, but I hated to acknowledge it because then he was winning and he already wins enough.

After class he came up and swung his arm around my shoulder, and grabbed something out of my hair.

"See now Dell, you missed one of my paper bullets in your hair. There were 34 in all that made it in there did you count how many you pulled out?"

"No I did not count, you prat, I was busy trying to learn, you know what were at this school for,"

"Oh is that why we're here, I thought I was here because people wanted to say that they knew James Potter, the son of the chosen one, oh and so girls could shag me,"

"I'm sure your parents sent you to school so girls could shag you," I said sarcastically.

"They are wonderful aren't those two. Personally I would say my dad's greatest achievement isn't offing Voldemort but rather gifting me to the world of women,"

"And I say I would rather have Voldemort still be around than you," I said making James laugh.

"Ah I know you don't mean that Delly Belly, you luuuuurve me," he said as we turned the corner to the entrance hall and saw Matt waiting for me with his arms crossed.

"Potter," he said greeting James and looking at his arm around me.

"Hilton," was James' reply as he didn't move at all. These boys were way to stubborn for their own good.

"James if you would please take your arm off of me that would be great," I said turning to him.

"Sure, you say that now that your boyfriend is around," he said grumbling under his breath but took his arm off of me anyway.

"As much fun as this is, want to go to the library Della?" Matt asked me after we stood awkwardly in silence for a minute, I nodded.

"See you later James," I said and he nodded and waved as he walked away.

"God, that prat," Matt said as James left, and I just turned to him and gave him a look that said don't-even-go-there. He sighed before saying, "I know you hate it but I just can't stand him."

"And this is where that conversation ends," I said going up to him and giving him a hug. "How was runes,"

"Not bad we were still just reviewing a bit from last year. I missed you though," he said kissing me lightly.

"Missed you too,"

"What is this?" He asked as he pulled a small piece of paper out of my hair.

"Ah I am going to kill James! He was throwing little pieces of paper in my hair all through class,"

"Glad you finally came to your senses on that one, you know if you need some help killing him I would be more than happy too," he said with a smirk that looked very similar to another boy I know. I just hit him playfully on the arm as we walked to the library to study before dinner.

Matt had quidditch try outs that night so I was domed to hangout in the Gryffindor common room, which normally wasn't too bad except for the fact that at the beginning of the year all the girls seem to go more mad over James then usual, and they were starting to get on my nerves.

"James could you please tell your fan club to give you or us some peace for a moment," I said indicating me and the other 7th year guys after there was a particularly loud giggle.

"Alright, sorry ladies but playtime is over as the queen commands," which made them all giggle more and me glare. James whispered into some blond 6th years ear and I watched her blush and nod her head. Well we all knew who James was doing tonight.

To be honest I feel kind of bad for unleashing James on the female population of Hogwarts. I mean really if it weren't for me James could be a good guy when it came to girls. Okay that is probably a lie James would most likely be a player if he had sex with me or not. Plus I don't see the girls complaining about him really, sure there are an occasional, "I thought you really cared about me," but nothing to big. But I just feel bad for all of them having to deal with him in the sense that they are all getting used by him.

"How do you guys stand being around him all the time?" I asked the 7th year boys.

Other than Brayden, there was Miles Stuart who was the classic American "surfer" guy, with long wavy blond hair and brown eyes, who was very go with the flow, and Liam Connor the smart one of the group and while he used to be a little tubby he grew out of it and was now rather charming with long curly dark hair and dark eyes. The boys just laughed it off and said they didn't mind much as it meant the girls were hanging out around them too.

After about twenty minutes of doing homework James let out a huge sigh.

"I'm boooooooooored," he said "Will you entertain me Delly?" I had just finished my homework for the night and it was a Friday so I felt like I would oblige him.

"What do you have in mind?" And I saw his eyes light up.

"See I knew the Ravendork couldn't turn you into a complete bore! HEY LILY COME HERE," he called across the common room to his sister. I honestly loved Lily she was probably the spunkiest person I had ever met and she had to go through her childhood living with James which would have driven most people crazy.

"What was that drinking game your muggle born friend taught you?" He asked a very annoyed looking Lily.

"Oh you mean I've never?"

"Yeah that's the one, how does it go again?"

"Well you take turns saying things that you have never done and everyone who has done it has to take a drink. Are you planning on playing?"

"Absobloodylutely, I would invite you but your too innocent to know what I have done,"

"Don't make me hurl James," she said rolling her eyes and walking away.

"My sister is so lovely, so how about it you all down?"

"We are not doing this just me and you guys, can we please invite another girl?"

"Yeah sure I'm bringing one but you can invite one too, and we will all meet in our room in twenty minutes."

I didn't know who I was going to bring with me and then I saw Rose Weasley walk in the portrait looking thoroughly upset. Rose and I had always gotten along well too, she was like me in her year, didn't really get along with the girls that well and she mostly just hung out with Albus, James' younger brother, and the Scamander twins. While many thought that she was a bookworm teachers pet I knew for a fact that she could have a good time, I had seen her at the annual Weasley Christmas party.

"Hey Rose, rough day?"

"Oh hey Della, you haven't the foggiest."

"I know this might not sound like the best of fun but James the guys and I were about to go play a drinking game and you look like you could use it, you in?"

"Honestly I would like nothing better," she said with a smile.

"Great I'm just going to change, meet you back here in ten?" She nodded as I went upstairs to change into something more comfortable. I finally decided on one of Matt's old quidditch hoodie and pair of jeans. I went to the common room and got Rose then we went up the boys stairs to the 7th years room.

"Hey Dell, Rose just waiting on you guys, come on in," said Miles who was leaning against the wall.

"Welcome to the love shack," Brayden said wrapping his arms around both Rose and I.

"Goodness Della you brought Rosie! What a swell idea, she is in the same year as Spencer here," James said indicating the blond he was whispering too earlier.

"Let's get this party started," said Liam walking in with a box full of an assortment of bottles. We all grabbed some and sat down.

"So do you all know the rules?" James asked as we were all settled and we all nodded that we did. "Okay me first, I've never worn a skirt," he said to which all the girls drank and so did Liam.

"Don't ask, please don't ask," he said shaking his head to which we all laughed. "My turn, I've never been related to someone famous," Liam continued as James, Rose and Brayden drank.

"I've never gotten paid for any sexual act," Brayden said looking at James.

"Touche," he said lifting his glass.

"I've never cheated on someone," I said and James and Spencer drank.

We played for a few more rounds and we all started getting a little tipsy.

"It's really hot in here," I said as my cheeks flushed.

"It's probably just that ugly sweatshirt your wearing," James grumbled.

"Oh I forgot I was wearing this," I said taking it off, I was only wearing a tank top underneath but I didn't really care about impressing anyone here. James' eyes just about popped out of his head and Spencer started to glare at me.

"I've never been jealous of Della because the boy I'm obsessed with likes her more than me," Rose said and Spencer drank.

"I've never been a book loving teachers pet," Spencer said sneering at Rose.

"Fine Bitch," she said taking a drink, "I've never sucked off half of the 6th and 7th year males."

Spencer drank, "I've never been a prude who hasn't ever even kissed anyone," she said trying to embarrass Rose, but she didn't drink.

"Well neither have I," Rose said with a smirk.

"Your liar, who have you kissed?" Spencer said shocked.

"That is none of your business," she replied.

"Ha I knew you were lying! There is no way any boy would want to kiss you, the only friends you have your related to." Both James and I stood up at this point.

"You can get the bloody hell out of here you dirty slag," I said.

"Seriously you will not talk to my cousin like that,the only person who is allowed to tease Rose is me. And don't think you can ever talk to me again," James said, and if there was one thing honorable about James it was that he always stood up for his family and friends. Spencer just huffed and walked out of the room.

"Thanks you guys," Rose said.

"Seriously though Rose who are you kissing," James said. Rose turned bright red.

"Well you promise not to tell anyone James, I mean not even Albus?" She asked

"Not even Albus? You tell Albus everything, but I promise I won't tell," he said seriously.

"It was Lorcan," she said quietly.

"Oh my gosh really Rose?" I said excited that what everyone else saw finally happened.

"Yeah but he hasn't talked to me since he kissed me so I don't know what to do," she said her face turning sad.

"I'm sure he is just nervous about how your relatives will react, I would never go after a Weasley or Potter, there are way to many protective brothers and cousins in the group," Brayden said.

"Yeah plus Albus is just downright scary when he is pissed," I said.

"That's why I haven't told him, plus all he cares about lately is his new friend," Rose said a little viciously.

"His new friend?" James asked curiously.

"Oh shit, I'm shutting up now," Rose said as she walking away and up to the other guys who moved to the other side of the room.

"I should probably go talk to her," I said.

"Just do it tomorrow when you are both sober," James said.

"She looks really upset though," I said looking over at her.

"Rose is a tough girl she will be fine," James said as he stared at my face, we stood there for a moment him just staring at me and me just trying to look anywhere but his eyes, I didn't know what to do with how awkward it was feeling at this moment but then James broke the silence, "Your so gorgeous Della," he whispered, for a second my breath caught in my throat and I felt my heart jump but then I shook my head and realized who I was talking too.

"James come off it, I'm sorry your shag for the night was a bitch but I'm not going to replace her," I said smiling to let him know I was just kidding.

"I know, I would never think of you like that! I just don't think I have ever told you that," he said his smiling as well, although it wasn't as big as usual.

"Hey you lot lets continue this game there is something I want to know!" Miles said from across the room. James and I walked over and I sat on the nearest bed I think it was Brayden's.

"I've never had sex with James Potter," Miles said. I should have know this was coming. The question was obviously directed at me because I was the only girl there besides Rose who was James' cousin. I thought all the boys knew about it but obviously James hadn't told them the details. James hit Miles on the back of the head, and then I flipped him off as I took a drink.

"Della," Rose whispered.

"I knew it! Told you Liam, now pay up!" Miles said as Liam grumbled something under his breath and got money out of his pocket.

"You bet on this you ass," I said hitting Miles and Liam.

"Seriously guys, you ever think there was a reason I never talked to you about that one," James said the anger clear on his face.

"Sorry mate," they said.

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to Della," he said hands on his hips, looking like a pissed off mother, and they did.

"It's really not that big of a deal James, I mean the guys knew something happened apparently and Rose here isn't about to go blabbing so we can still pretend it never happened." I said and a weird expression crossed James' face.

"Right it didn't happen," James said.

"Okay I have one, I've never been in love." Thank Merlin for Brayden and changing the topic. Me, Rose and James took a drink.

"James you have been in love? With who?" I asked.

"Myself!" He said making us all laugh hysterically.

"Your nutters James," Liam said shaking his head, "Completely nutters,"

review pleassse, as it would help me get over this funk i am having with this story!