Chapter One: Marriage, Broom Closets, Virginity, and Fried Chicken
There I sat in Transfiguration with Fred Weasley pelting the back of my head with paper balls. I mentally snorted. That's all he's got? Seriously?
McGonagall was droning on about something or another, probably about how fantastic my Vanishing Charm was the other day when I 'accidentally on purpose' vanished Marcus Flint's mouth after he asked me rather rudely to have a shag with him in the Slytherin boys' dormitory that night. I got detention for the rest of the week.
I drummed my fingers on my desk repeatedly, earning a glare from my know-it-all best friend, Angelina Johnson, who was hanging on to every word McGonagall was saying. Ponce. I don't even know why I sat next to her.
My dark brown eyes flicked around the room lazily and they landed on Flint who was picking his nose rather gruesomely. I held back a snicker. Dumb wanker.
"Oi! Katie!" Fred hissed.
I turned my head slightly to mutter, "Sod off, Weasley. I'll get another detention."
"That's my plan," he retorted. I could hear the stupid grin of his in his voice. I rolled my eyes, and turned my head straight.
"Your boyfriend is bugging the crap out of me," I mumbled out of the corner of my mouth to Angelina. She didn't look at me, but I saw her dark cheeks darken even further. I smirked.
And finally, the bell rang. I stood up straight so quickly, I knocked my chair over.
"Smooth move, Clumsy Kate," sang George terribly and sat on my desk on top of my Transfiguration textbook. I bent at my knees to pick up my chair and bag off the floor.
"Get off my book, George." I sighed, standing up straight.
"What's the magic word?" he taunted.
"Please?"
"Actually, it was Wingardium Leviosa, but that'll do," he winked at me, hopping off my desk.
"That's two words, George." I rolled my eyes and shoved the book into my bag as the six of us walked out the door. The 'six of us' meaning Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia Spinnet, Lee Jordan, and, my humble self, Katie Bell.
Fred and George Weasley - twins, furious red hair (George's was shaggier and longer than Fred's), witty, Beaters of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and the pranksters of our lovely group.
Angelina Johnson - know-it-all (as I've mentioned before), ebony skin, and one of the three gorgeous Chasers on the Quidditch team.
Alicia Spinnet - blonde, gossiper, slow, and another Chaser.
Lee Jordan - Never. Stops. Talking.
Me - loud, obnoxious, long dark brown hair, and another gorgeous Chaser. (This is how George described me once, except for the latter. He described me as rather ugly and plain-looking. He was lying, of course. Wanker.)
Lee was going on about some joke he heard to the twins while Alicia gossiped to Angelina about her new-found crush, Cedric Diggory. I had to admit, he was fairly good-looking
"Katie-Kate-Kate, I'm missing your usual loudness, darling. Where is it?" Fred said rather loudly, walking backwards to face me. I rolled my eyes.
"And that darling obnoxiousness? And those hateful words you decide to grace me with every day?" George added in, batting his eyelashes at me, also walking backwards.
"Well, Georgie-dear, if you miss it so much, you insufferable git, you could have just asked." I pretended to smile warmly, and batted my eyelashes right back at him.
He grinned. "Oh thank you, thank you, your highness!" And there he went, getting on his knees in the middle of the corridor, and kissing my hands.
"Get off, you fool." I snatched my hand away, but grinned back at the prat.
The other four snickered at us.
"Well, look at that, Georgie in love!" Lee sang to the crowd. George silenced Lee with a look.
"Georgie isn't one to love, Lee, darling," I told him wisely. "He cowers just at the thought."
Everyone in the group laughed but him. He glared and turned back around facing away from me. Afterwards, we set ourselves on our way to Divination. We all took it just for a good laugh at the ridiculousness that is Professor Trelawney. Well, except for Angelina. Again, I say 'ponce'.
We were studying crystal balls. I sat at a table with the girls while Lee sat with the twins. Trelawney came over to me and asked what I saw in the crystal ball.
"Let's see…" I start thinking, then I get it. "I'm in Potions and I have to pee really bad…"
She looks confused but goes, "Yes?"
"And Sna - Professor Snape won't let me go to the restroom. I'm holding it for a while, and it's at least an hour or so before he lets me go to the bathroom."
"Yes?"
"And, oh! I develop an infection in my bladder because it's been waiting there for so long! A very painful infection, I might add."
The girls had their hands pressed against their mouths to keep from laughing as she gave me an 'O'.
Speaking of Potions, that's where we went after Divination. George and I have been partners ever since he and Fred made a big blue goop in their cauldron one day. When Snape went to inspect it and started to give them a zero, it blew up in his face. All in all, one of the best days of my life.
We planted ourselves down at our table in the very back of class right behind Fred and Lee , and they were behind Ange and Alicia. Snape was yelling at one of the goofs in Hufflepuff. I propped my head up in my hands and noticed George staring at me in the corner of my eye. I sighed and wrote on a sheet of parchment: What? Is there something on my face?
Yeah. I think it's called 'ugly'.
Aw, you sure know how to make a girl feel loved.
I thought I 'cowered just at the thought' of it.
Is that why you haven't been talking to me the past two periods? George, I was joking.
I noticed the way he sort of slumped a little in relief as he read the last message.
Oh. I didn't know. You acted like it was true.
I smirked. 'Course not, Georgie Because I know you're completely infatuated with me, right?
FINALLY! Now that you know, let's get married, Kates. We'll have the most gorgeous red-haired children.
Who said they'll be red-headed? Why can't they be brunette like my beautiful self?
I swear I just called you ugly not even two minutes ago, and why wouldn't they get my dashing red hair? They can have your shit-brown eyes.
I couldn't help but snort at his last sentence. Again, Weasley, you sure know how to make a girl feel loved.
It's what I do, Kates.
I grinned over at him. He returned the gesture.
"Miss Bell, could I see your notes?" asked Snape walking over with a cruel smile on his lips. I shrugged and handed him me and George's note.
He looked down at it, his cold black eyes, darting back and forth down the parchment.
"Discussing the make of your children and undying love for one another isn't for my class, I'm sorry to say. Detention for you both. Saturday evening." Angelina and Alicia whipped around in their seat to glance at George and me, all wide-eyed. Lee and Fred smirked back at us.
"We never said undying love. I just said infatuation." I pointed out casually, getting up to point at the spot on the parchment where it was written.
Snape glared at me as George stifled a laugh.
"And I already have detention from McGonagall all this week," I added, pleased with the look Snape was giving me.
"Make it another week, then, for your cheek, Bell. And take ten points from Gryffindor."
"Lovely, sir," I replied brightly, and George lost it. He was trying to cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughs, but Snape already snapped, "And another ten points, Weasley. Contain yourself."
"Y-yes, sir."
He walked to the front of the class to resume talking, so the class all turned around in their seats to face him. I shared another grin with George, and we started making the potion up on the board.
!
"The make of your children?" Angelina practically screamed in my ear after class on the way to dinner. I winced. "Undying love? Infatuation?"
"We were just teasing each other, Ange. Chill." I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the millionth time that day. "He said my eyes were shit-brown."
Lee and Fred howled with laughter next to me and high-fived George who was walking right next to me. The girls smiled slightly.
"Yes, real charming," I said sarcastically, with a small smile on my face also.
"You know you loved it, Kates," George nudged my side.
"Oh, gosh, yes, George! It was the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life!" I pretended to fan myself. "Do marry me, George! Oh, please!"
"Alright, then!" George said rather cheerfully. "When's the honeymoon?" He winked at me. I snorted.
"When frogs fly, dear. When frogs fly," I replied, earning a few giggles from the girls.
"Well, okay. Where's Longbottom? I'm sure I could bewitch his toad to grow some wings," he retorted giving me what he supposed would be a 'sexy' smile.
"He has a toad, doesn't he?" Lee asked.
"Same difference," George retorted.
"WAIT!" cried out Fred suddenly, making us all jump. "You two have to be married before we even start talking about you two shagging each other's brains out."
I, being the very skilled actress I am, sighed impatiently like I wanted to do what Fred said. "Well, lets get on with it. George is so irresistible, I don't think I can hold on much longer," I said dramatically, biting my lip.
The girls giggled furiously.
"Okay, then! Lee, if you would do the honors!" George exclaimed stopping to bow at Lee. We all continued walking.
"We are gathered here today," Lee spoke aloud. "On this rather unusual and shag-filled occasion to join this bloke and this babe in very unholy matrimony."
We were all laughing as we walked down the hallway.
"WAIT!" cried Fred yet again. "We all have to stop. They must join hands!"
So we all stopped. People in the hallway peered at us curiously. Lee stood up against the wall, while me and George stood in front of him facing each other, holding hands, each of us red in the face from our laughter. Fred took the place next to George, I suppose for the best man position while Ange stood next me and Alicia next to her.
"Like I was saying, it's very unholy and stuff, yadda yadda yadda, ahem," Lee cleared his throat and I burst into a fit of giggles. "Oh, I'll skip the whole definition thing about marriage, it's boring. Okay, let's see, yeah. George Fabian Weasley," (More laughter at the discovery of his middle name) "Do you take Katie-Kate to be your wedded wife? Do you promise to love her, shag her senseless, neglect her and yell at her to get you sandwiches, cheating on her every chance you have as long as you both shall live?"
I was leaning into George, shaking as George yelled, "Hell yeah!" I snorted. I was surprised teachers weren't sticking their heads out of classrooms to see what was going on. A group of people surrounded us, trying to see what was going on.
"And do you, Katherine Elizabeth Bell, take this awful prat to be your wedded husband? Do you promise to love him, shag him senseless, avoid him and poison his sandwiches, cheating on him every chance you have as long as you both shall live?"
"I-I, yeah." I said breathlessly, sides aching.
"Then by the non-power not invested in me, I now don't pronounce you bloke and whatever Katie is. You may now snog the bride."
George grabbed my face between his hands and kissed me roughly on the nose. I erupted into a whole new fit of giggles.
"Hallelujah!" exclaimed Fred as George threw me over his shoulder asking, "Where's the nearest broom closet?"
"George!" I shouted, exasperated, all humor disappearing from my mind. What the hell? I started pounding his back with my fists. "George, I'm serious, put me down!"
I guess Fred pointed the way (only they would know where all of the broom closets were by heart), because George took of running, with me over his back like a sack of freaking potatoes, while everyone in the group bursting into laughter. People stared at us in the hallway.
"George Weasley, you prat, put me down!"He ignored my protests and finally he slowed and I heard the click of a door. He walked in and sure enough, it was a broom closet. He set me down and closed the door with a grin on his face. He studied my face which was probably a mixture of anger and shock.
"Oh, don't worry Kates. I'm not going to take your virginity." He rolled his eyes like I was insane.
"Wha - why - How the hell do you know I'm a virgin?" I glared at him, slightly offended.
"You've never had any really serious boyfriends."
"I could've had a one-night stand."
"You wouldn't give your virginity to a guy you don't know. To women, it's too important," George reasoned.
"How would you know what girls think?"
"'Cause I'm secretly a woman," He winked.
"You're crazy, but that explains a lot actually."
"Exactly, Kates, crazy in love." He batted his eyelashes, and ignored the last part of my sentence. Now I was confused, and I'm pretty sure my face showed it, because he sighed impatiently. "Godric, Kates, you're so slow sometimes. I'm in love with you!"
I studied his face for a second before answering, "No, you're not."
"Yeah, I am. You're so stupid. Why did you think we got married?"
"'Cause we're all stupid. We're best mates and we're sixteen, it's what we do. And people who are in love don't call each other stupid, thank you very much," I replied easily.
"I'll prove it to you, Kates, and I'll prove you're in love with me too. By the end of this year, you will be head over heels for me. I already am with you of course, 'cause you're so ugly, it makes me want to die." George gave me one last grin, then grabbed my face between his hands for the second time, and pressed his lips against mine. I froze in shock, but by the time I was going to slap him, he disappeared out of the broom closet, leaving me all by lonesome.
"Merlin, he's a retard." I shook my head. I couldn't help but think how this was going to turn out. George Weasley cannot be in love with me. It's ridiculous. The Weasley Twins have been having one night stands since they were four. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but they could never fall in love. Especially with me. It's ridiculous.
I walked out of the broom closet, smoothed down my hair and my skirt. I shrugged out of my sweater and black robe then also smoothed the white button-up shirt down and pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. I loosened my tie carelessly and looked for my bag in the empty corridor. It was behind the broom closet door. Well, at least he had tact. I threw my sweater and robe inside of it, and turned away from the direction of the Great Hall to the common room. I had to put my stuff away. I started running after a few minutes thinking about the way George kissed me. Just like that. Easy squeezy. I stopped at the Fat Lady and told her confidently, "Balderdash."
She swung open and I dashed upstairs into the girls' dorm to toss my bag onto my bed in the middle of the room under the window. I sprinted back out of the dorm, out of the common room and down the moving staircases. I skipped over the trick step gracefully, and went back to running. I skidded to a stop in front of the Great Hall to catch my breath. I opened one of the doors and some people turn to stare at me. I gave a princess wave and planted myself in my usual spot between Fred and Lee and across from George.
"You're a prick," I told him sweetly, piling my plate with fried chicken and mashed potatoes. He just grinned at me.
"Well, that's no way to talk to your husband," Lee said with a smirk. I silenced him with a glare. He shoved a heap of corn into his mouth.
"Just leave me alone in a broom closet, to walk up to the common room to put my bag up, then to walk down here, by myself? Yes, that will surely make me fall in love with you, you prat," I went on. George kept grinning. "Oh and that thing you would call a 'kiss' or a maybe 'snog' is what I would call 'assault', my love."
"KISS?" Alicia and Angelina shrieked girlishly. People turned their heads to stare at them.
"Assault," I corrected them.
"Yes, darling, but I assaulted you with love." George winked at me. I scoffed. He rubbed his foot against mine under the table. I snatched it back folding my feet together, and tucked them under the bench while he gave me a wide smile.
"Rapist," I called him.
"I can be your personal rapist, if you'd like," George waggled his eyebrows. I pretended to vomit.
"So, about the Tournament," Fred interrupted, to which I was glad. "Aging Potion, I reckon, Georgie-Boy?"
"Sounds fantastic, Freddie-Boy."
"Save the twincest for the boys' dorm, guys," I said around a mouthful of potatoes.
"Oh, the mental images you give me, Kates." Lee shook his head and shuddered.
"It's what I do."