Mossflower was in the grip of mid-winter when he arrived. A sturdy mouse with dark eyes was walking down the path; looking back he stared at his paw prints in the snow, and sighed. Shifting the rusty blade on his back, he continued onward, and immediately stubbed his toe on a root hidden in the snow.

"AW SON OF A BI-" And he fell into the snow, gripping his busted toe he rolled around, yelling to himself, "Aw right in the god damned toe! AAAAAH! Mother F(bleep) that hurts like a mother f(bleep)er!" The mouse's screams trailed off through Mossflower, and were never heard by the family of hedgehogs living in the cabin to the south of Kotir.

The said family of hedgehogs were huttled around a turf fire when a scratching at the door of their cabin made them jump. They stood their, listening for it again, and then there was a knocking at the door, and they still were silent.

"Open dis ere' door rightem now!" A gruff voice said, followed by a loud banging. The hedgehog scrambled to his feet and ran to the door, and had just got in unlatched when a mole burst into the room, shaking the snow from his pelt. "You garsh darn hedgehogs! Always leave deh mole out always!"

"Oh quite bitching and warm yerself by the fire!" The hedgehog snapped back.

"Well oi come on ofer ere- oh f(bleep) this damn mole accent!" The mole pulled out a peice of silver birch bark and showed it to Ben Stickle. "This is a map from the rebels! We're going to them whether you want to or not!"

Goody Stickle wasn't to happy about the idea of her little ones going on this journey, especially when the weather was this bad!

"But the little-"

"WHETHER YOU LIKE IT. OR NOT!" The mole commanded the hedgehog maid sternly. Ben Stickle studied the map, which had the word corim on it and detailed instructions through Mossflower. Before the hedgehog could talk to his wife about it, there was another knock on the door.

"Open up! This is the rebels!" They heard a group of beasts snickering on the other side of the door, "We've come to tell you that we've defeated the vermin, and are here to rescue you!"

"Really?" Ben Stickle asked, his eyes bright and hopeful. His children started to dance around and laugh, his wife crying in joy. Then the door was kicked inward and a ferret and a stoat barged in with wild grins on their faces.

"Nope! Yer still hoplessly screwed!" The two mustelids were followed by a patrol of weasels with spears, who immediately burst into laughter at the confused and fearful faces of the woodlanders.

"Oh look at there faces!" One exclaimed.

"Oh my god you actually fell for it! Hahahaha!" Another sneered.

"AAAh! Its times like this that make you just appreciate the little things in life!" Another sighed, his eyes getting sleepy and blissful.

One of the hedgehog kits ran at the one of the weasels and kicked him in the shin, saying,

"You a meany!"

"Aw son of bitch! Why you little mother F(bleep)er! Aww god that hurts!" The weasel screamed, hopping around on one foot gripping his shin.

The ferret, Blacktooth, laughed at the hedgehog as he ran at him, and side stepped, causing the little one to slam into the wall, knocking him out cold.

"You heartless brute!" The hedgehog maid screamed, running towards her unconscious baby. The ferret felt hurt at that remark, and defended himself.

"Hey lady! That was self defense!" He turned to his patrol, "You all saw that right! He attacked me first!" His partol nodded in agreement. The ferret turned back to the maid, pointing to his men.

"Ya see? They saw it! He attacked me first!" The hedgehog maid simply growled at him. "Well sooorrry!" The ferret mocked, walking up to the hedgehogs mate. Kneeling down so he was level with the hedgehogs face, he whispered to him,

"Women! Am I right dude?" Ben nodded, rolling his eyes. The ferret stood back up, clapping his paws together, "Well, now that we got the formalities out of the-"

"But Blackieeee! What about me! Aren't ya gonna introduce me?" The stoat Splitnose whined, walking up to his ferrety companion. The ferret sighed and pointed to the stoat.

"This is Splitnose! Me best mate!" The stoat smiled cheerfully. Then the ferret slammed Ben Stickle into the wall, his voice getting serious and stern, "Now! Wheres the bomb!"

"What are you-" He was silence by the ferrets paw slapping him in the face.

"Wheres the f(bleeping) bomb you god damned terrorist!" The ferret screamed in the hedgehogs face, who screamed back,

"What in the name of god are you talking about!" As soon as he said that the ferret released him and his voice went back to normal.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, I fell asleep last night watching CSI and I guess it got stuck in my head!" The hedgehog cocked his head.

"Wait! You guys have TV?" He asked, rather surprised. The ferret smiled, puffing out his chest, cheerfully exclaiming,

"Yes! And there flat screens! We even have ipods!" The entire patrol whipped out ipods and turned them on, showing the hedgehogs, who in turn stared in awe. "Now, back to business, we want all of your food and supplys!" Ben Stickle sighed.

"Sure..."

Later...

The patrol walked off away from the cabin, most of them hauling sacks of food on their shoulders. Blacktooth smiled at his companion and exclaimed happily,

"Well! Everything went better that expected!"

"You can say that again mate!" His friend replied.

"Ya! I thought something was going to happen for-" A mouse charged from the woodlands, a bandage on his toe, screaming,

"Deeeaath to aaaallll!" Blacktooth whirled around and delt an epic round house kick to the mouse face, knocking him out. Looking at the unconscious mouse on the ground, he spat on him.

"Bitch."