A/N: Hey everybody! Well, this little fic came into my head the other day, and I hope you all like it! Personally, I'm not sure what to think about it...but maybe you guys will like it! Sorry for any grammatical errors – enjoy the story!
Have you ever been in love with someone who hates every fibre of your being?
Not many people have, and there are times when I really wish I was one of them. If you have never been so unlucky, then I can't even begin to describe the pain that floods through me every time I see her face.
Lily Evans, the love of my life. My soul mate. My true love. My natural enemy.
Ever since I met her, I've known we're meant to be together. But, every time I've tried to get close to her, the universe seems to push me away from her.
Our friendship died two years ago – we chose different paths. I suppose I'll never get to see her again after this year is over, if I decide to join the Dark Lord.
I keep telling myself that she's a mudblood, that she's scum, but I want her just as much as I always have.
Lily hasn't talked to me since our fight in fifth year – she hardly ever throws a glance in my direction anymore. So, I've resorted to my old pastime – spying on her.
That's why I'm crouching uncomfortably behind this rock; I'm watching her swim back and forth across the black lake. My friends say that I'm obsessed with her, but there's something about her that always makes me feel more calm and happy. It's very soothing to just watch her when she's so alone and peaceful – the real Lily, the one nobody else gets to see.
I'm so caught up in my thoughts that it takes me a few seconds to see that something was horribly wrong.
Lily's arms are flailing wildly and her head keeps dipping beneath the water. She lets out a horrible, gut-wrenching scream and bobs under the water again. She does not resurface.
"Lily!" I yell, looking around frantically. There's nobody in sight – they're all back at the castle. By the time I run to somebody for help, Lily will be dead.
I wrench my shoes off and sprint towards the water's edge. The jagged rocks on the ground cut my bare feet, but I don't stop running. I have to keep going, I owe Lily that much.
I reach the water and jump in without hesitation. The lake is icy cold and I shiver as I swim frantically. I've never been a very fast swimmer, and I just hope I won't be too late.
I catch sight of some fiery red hair and swim towards it, grabbing Lily around the waist and attempting to drag her back to the surface. I kick out hard with my feet, trying to propel myself upwards speedily. I'm running out of breath, and I don't dare look at Lily's face – I'm too afraid of what I'll see there.
Just when I'm about to give up all hope, my head breaks the surface of the freezing black lake. I take in several deep breaths of air before dragging Lily ashore. I press two of my fingers to her neck.
Her pulse is there, but it's getting weaker by the second.
At this, I lose all of my remaining calmness. I begin to shake uncontrollably and my breath comes out in short gasps. I mentally slap myself. I can have a meltdown later, right now I have to save Lily.
I open her mouth with shaking fingers and bend down to press my lips to hers. When I had imagined our first kiss it had been very different to this, I think sadly as I breathe my air into her water-filled lungs.
I stretch up and begin to press hard on her chest. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Or is it supposed to be three? I can't do this properly – I could be killing Lily for all that I know.
I breathe into her mouth once more, and then press down onto her chest, and then breathe into her mouth, and then press onto her chest...
It isn't working. I can't save her. I am a failure.
Lily's eyes flicker open for a second, and she seems to see me. "Sev..." she whispers.
"Yes, it's me, Lily I'm here. Everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." I would've danced with joy if I wasn't so tired from the swim.
Lily shakes her head stiffly. "I...won't..." she chokes out; she's having trouble getting out the words.
"Of course you will, Lily. You're going to be fine."
Lily looks up at me with saddened eyes. "I'm...cold..." she says softly.
I place my hand on her heart – it's beating even weaker than before.
"No, Lily! You can't die! Don't you dare die on me!"
Lily smiles sadly. "Severus..." she breathes, and then her eyes go blank.
I feel her heart stop underneath my fingertips, and I know that I cannot save her.
I let out a strangled cry of pain, and begin to sob as I kneel over her body.
Lily Evans...dead. My love, my life, my angel...was gone.
A/N: Well, what did you think? Good? Bad? Awful? Please let me know! Reviews really make my day :D!
