Hi :)

So, this is my second story for Criminal Minds. It is somehow linked to the first one entitled "Memory Lane" but you can read it as a stand-alone.

It takes place after 5x01 but way before 5x02.

I'm waiting to see if you like it or not. Reviews are absolutely welcomed.

He hears the beeps of the machine next to him before he even regains full consciousness. It's been like this for the past two days. In and out, in and out. He is still in his hospital room and from what he can now see as his eyes open slowly, it's late in the afternoon. The clock indicates 7:34 pm. There's no one in his room, for once. Hotch sighs. The painkillers are strong enough to make him drift into sleep very often. He's never awake more than two hours. The nurse in charge of him says that he really needs to rest, but Hotch feels restless. He's got a killer to catch and he's not going to do that lying in a bed. He promised Hayley that she'd have her life back. He doesn't want her and Jack to live in fear forever. He doesn't want Jack to grow up without a father. Without him. He couldn't stand that.

But the pain… Suddenly, Hotch's aware that the medicine has stopped working. Because he can feel how much it hurts, everywhere. Foyet is going to pay for that. He presses a button and almost immediately, the pain subsides. Thank God for morphine, he thinks. For a moment, he closes his eyes and tries to forget that he's in a hospital. That's when he smells it. It's a fragrance he would recognize anywhere. He was once used to it. It's someone's perfume. Someone who left and never came back. Until now, obviously.

"I'm awake," is all he says.

But his eyes remain closed. The person standing at the door walks in and sits on the edge of his bed. Instinctively, Hotch opens his hand, palm up, and he has to wait only for a few seconds before he feels a warm hand slip in his.

"You came." He states as he opens his eyes. "Who told you ? Was it Morgan ? JJ ?"

"Reid, actually. I've been keeping in touch with him."

"And not with the others ?"

There's a pause before the answer falls from her lips, simple, honest.

"No."

"Why ?"

Your eyes meet hers, unblinking. She's still the same after three whole years. The hair is longer, but she kept the fringe. The lips are still full and red. But the look in her soft brown eyes is haunted.

"You're staring."

"You're avoiding my question." He replies, calmly.

She gives him a half-smile.

"He is the only one who didn't judge me for what happened with Lee. Instead, he's been blaming himself."

"That's Reid for you."

This time, she offers him a real smile and it warms him a little. But he has to ask one more question :

"Why did you come ?"

"Where else would I be ?"

"Elle."

She sighs and sits a little closer, her hand still in his. She doesn't want to let go and frankly, he doesn't want her to.

"I was worried. Reid never calls me. It's an unspoken rule between us. We don't call. We don't see each other. We only write. Letters, or e-mails. But this time, he called. And I knew it had to be important. Then he told me about you being in the hospital. I took the first plane."

"Did you… go back to Seattle, after you left ?"

"Yes."

He nods absently. So much has happened in three years that he doesn't even know what to say. How many killers did the team catch during this time ? How many people died before they could help ? How many cases JJ had to turn down because they couldn't be everywhere at the same time ?

"How's life treating you ?"

"Good, actually. I found a job and an apartment. It's a desk job, but it's… nice."

Her hand has tightened a little and Hotch can tell that she's not saying the entire truth.

"Elle ? What's wrong ?"

"Nothing. I'm just… Tired. I was coming home from work when Spencer called. I haven't slept in over twenty hours."

"Couldn't you sleep on the plane ?"

"I was worried, Hotch."

"Well now that you've seen me, surely you're gonna sleep just fine."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Thank you."

She smiles and looks down at their hands.

"You don't wear your ring anymore. Reid told me about your divorce. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was bound to happen anyway."

Already he can feel his eyelids getting heavier, but for once Hotch doesn't want to fall asleep. He doesn't welcome unconsciousness.

"Maybe I should go. You need your rest."

"No, please. Stay. I haven't seen you in forever… I'm glad that you're here. And… I'm sorry."

"For what ?" She asks, surprised.

"For not checking up on you. For not trying to understand what you were going through. I do, now. At least I think I have a better understanding of how you must've felt. He…"

"Hotch you don't have to talk about this if y—"

"It's okay, I'm not gonna break. I just want you to know. He was waiting for me in my apartment. We were coming back from a hard case in Canada. He surprised me. I don't even know how he got in. But he was there. His gun aiming at my head."

He feels her other hand covering his.

"I get it now, Elle. How powerless you must've felt at this moment. He kept… stabbing me and I couldn't stop him. I couldn't move !"

He's getting angry and upset, and as soon as Elle feels it, she sits even closer. Their hands entwined now rest on her lap. Somehow the simple fact of having someone close to him appeases his anger. He relaxes against the pillows.

"You'll get him, Hotch. I don't doubt that. But first you need to heal, both physically and mentally. The team is going to watch closely how you act when you'll get back to work."

"I know."

Elle watches him silently while he takes deep breaths.

"You were wrong," he whispers.

"About what ?"

"Reid told me about your first letter. About you knowing it wasn't my fault that you got shot. You said you'd tell it to me yourself but you thought I'd want nothing to do with you. You were wrong. I was hoping you'd give me some news. I even asked Garcia to try and locate you, once. That's when she told me you moved back to Seattle. I didn't ask for details. I wanted you to be the one to tell me about your life, not some computer database."

"I needed time to get my life back on tracks. Like I said, my job's nice now, but… something's missing. I think it's the thrill of being in the field."

"What you said to me, the day you left… About not being the same person anymore…"

"I meant it. I miss the thrill, and sometimes I miss the field, but I'd be too scared to go back. I think it's too soon."

"It's been three years, Elle."

She doesn't answer, but there's no need because Hotch knows a trauma like this might never leave her alone. He's pretty sure she lied about killing Lee in self-defense but somehow, after all this time, he doesn't care anymore. It doesn't seem so important. Maybe because of what happened to him since she left.

"Elle ?"

"Yes ?"

"I'm tired now but… I'd like you to come by, tomorrow."

"Sure. Is your apartment still guarded ?"

"I don't think so. Prentiss gave me the keys today. Why don't you take them and sleep there tonight ?"

"I was planning on going there anyway."

"Really ? Why ?" He asks, his eyebrows raised.

"I believe there's some blood on the floor that needs to be washed away." She replies with a wink.

"Why would you do that ?"

"Hotch… Let's skip the part where we pretend you didn't wash my blood off the walls of my apartment while I was in the hospital trying to remember how to breathe."

He smiles at her. Of course, she knows.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Do you think the others will be here ? I'd rather not… run into them."

"Same hour than today ? If there's anyone left I'll tell them I'm tired."

"You dirty liar." She teases.

Then she gets up and drops his hand gently to his side. He's quite surprised when she kisses his forehead lightly. She's almost out of the room when he finally manages to speak.

"Hey Elle ?"

"Yeah ?"

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

This is not romance, but friendship. I think Hotch has more chemistry romantically with Prentiss, and Greenaway with Morgan anyway.

I hope you'll leave a few words after reading :)

OTH-FOQ