It's horrible and dismal here. The seconds pass by like hours and I sit there, a single grain in the vast sea of sand. I have to watch these strange monsters gamble. They laugh and talk about humans being boring creatures. There is one that I've seen before. In some distan dream. What was his name? Shidoh. It's like an hourglass. Each moment a grain of sand falls to the human world another baby is born. Every evil human goes to nothingness, and every evil human waits here for another chance at life, taking with them the one memory they have left. Every second I lose another memory of my old life. Soon I'll be released from here. With one memory left, whichever I choose. I picked the one that left my heart at ease, even though it put such a heavy burden on me.

Matt, do you remember the promise we made when we were younger? It was the day after A had commited suicide, so the house was quiet. We didn't have to be weary of Near, because he was locked in his room. A and him were almost joined at the hip, so the death of his friend, or should I say older brother, took a toll on his health, both mental and physical. The rain was pounding down, having an effect on our open eyes. We were splayed out across the living room floor. This was back at the Wammy house, and it was one of those rare moments when you didn't have your games with you. I guess you were unable to stand the silence, so you crawled to the green glass coffee table and grabbed the remote to the large screen TV. You punched the power button, then settled down close me again. The TV was tuned in to the news and it showed pictures of floods and peoples pleas for help.You crawled in front of my spot on the plush carpet and sat there, staring at me. I turned to look at your face, it was pleading me for something. I didn't know what. The lightning lit up the room, then left us in darkness. You hesitantly took my hand and cast your eyes downward. I whispered 'what?', you were so mysterious. Then you spoke the words that had been floating in my mind for what seemed like an eternity.

'We have to stay together no matter what.' I smiled and nodded.

We fell asleep on that plush carpet. Side by side. Hand in hand.

This is the memory I chose to keep, but the remains of others still float in my mind. I always think about something called 'Death Note'. It confuses me, because when I think of it , there is always a feeling of guilt.

The only other memory I have left is of me driving a truck. The emotions passing through me were so powerful. Anxiety, impatience, and pride. I had peered down at the screen on the dashboard, but, the memory is fading away, so I can't remember what was being diplayed. I whispered such a simple sentence, but the feeling of guilt that came with it was overpowering. I felt suffocated in it.

'I'm sorry I let you die.'

I don't know how long it's been since then, but I'm sure a lot has changed. Our destinys were so far apart, but they ended the same. I have this strong feeling, you died in a way that you shouldn't have had. I haven't forgotten the promise. I will never forget the promise.

I got your message, Matt. I do not know who this L is. You said he was there with you,

But you're dead, so does that mean you're not in nothingness…. I wish you were here. I'm sorry I broke the promise. I'm sorry I left you.

You think it would have been different if we had stayed together on that cloudy day…. I don't remember what led up to it, or how long the whole thing lasted. I don't even remember how I died. I just know I did, or I wouldn't have ended up in this godforsaken hell.

So, here's one more promise I hope you'll cherish: I'll find you, even if it takes me my life.