Just Let Me be Me (when it comes to loving you)
Pairing: Jagan
Alternative Universe
Main Characters: James Diamond and Logan Mitchell
Other Characters: Gustavo, Kelly, Carlos, OCs – Justin and Jim
Summary: Dating a pop star isn't easy and James invests a lot of time and patience in maintaining a relationship with celebrity star Logan Mitchell. He didn't mind the limited time they spend together, the fans screaming 'I love yous' to his boyfriend, or the paparazzi always trying to find out about him, but after a while, it's just not enough. Maybe it's time for change.
Prompt: Serious relationship where James is much more invested and they both have very different ideas for the future.
Author's Note: this story is written for fleetofblimps, a Jagan Exchange gift from me. I hope you enjoy this story even though I did a terrible job.
Disclaimer: Remember! I don't own Big Time Rush or anything that is related to the show or anything that is related to real life. Have FUN reading!
James Diamond nervously stands at the airport patiently waiting for his boyfriend, Logan Mitchell. He double checks the arrival board to see if he is too early or too late, panicking when a pack of girls push past him heading straight towards the arrival area.
"Did he arrive already? Can you see him? Watch it Allison! Oh my god is that him?" James hears the girls scream, and James quickly flips around just to see the group of girls desperately push past another group of girls, all fighting to stand as close to the arrival doorway as possible.
James can see at least a hundred teenage girls, short and tall, wide and thin, all wearing their idol's signature t-shirt and cap, holding pens and books, posters and cameras, all anxiously waiting for his boyfriend to show up. James smiles at the sight, still can't quite believe the famous Logan Mitchell is his boyfriend. If Logan hadn't called him to tell him that he is coming home today, James would still be rolling in bed, pouting at the coldness.
He looks at the arrival board to see that the flight has been delayed for another ten minutes, and he exhales, glad he didn't miss the arrival. He turns around and weaves his way through the crowd, finding a clear spot to stand and view the entire arrival. He can see the paparazzi are all patiently waiting for Logan, probably eager to pester Logan about him. Not that Logan will tell them about him. Nobody knows about their relationship. Not even Logan's producer Gustavo. As far as anyone knows, Logan Mitchell is single and ready to mingle.
Hm...I wonder if he can see me from here. Probably not with all those crazy fan posters blocking me.
James huffs and decides to push his way through the crowd and stand right in front of the railing, but his tall height almost collided with a poster, causing him to back up. He tilts his head to look around the poster as a stir starts to form within the crowd of fan girls. It begins with mumbles, gasps, slowly turning to screams, and James' smile broadens into a grin.
"Oh my god Logan I love you! Marry me! Logan Mitchell! Ahhhhh! You're so sexy! Sign my cap please!" girls in front of James scream at Logan as the idol makes his way out of customs. Logan laughs at the crowd, so happy to see so many of his fans waiting for him even though it's late at night.
"How's it going everybody!?" Logan shouts across the crowd, smiling when the crowd erupts into a scream. Responses of every kind blast at him, hands stick out for handshakes follow by pens and papers, all requesting for an autograph. A fan even tries to jump over the rail and rush over for a hug, only to be stopped by Logan's bodyguard. He reaches out for a pen, but stops when his manager whispers the incident into his ear, urging him to keep moving. He quickly scribbles a name for his fan, apologetically smiling at the rest of them when he continues walking down the aisle towards the exit. He occasionally stops to smile at the camera, but keeps his distance from his fans. He still can't believe he has the power to make people be this crazy about him.
But I wonder if James is around.
Logan's eyes wander through the crowd, stilling his step so he can seek out the tall brunet. He sees James standing in the middle of two "I love you Logan!" posters, and he smiles, waving at the brunet.
He sees James waving back at him, and he blows a kiss at the brunet, causing some of the girls in front of him to scream and faint.
"Logan!" his manager Kelly Wainwright scowls, quickly pushing Logan forward, frowning at Logan's scandalous action. She can see the paparazzi pushing their way towards them, the kiss obviously sparking their interest. She quickly motions Justin and Jim to shield Logan, ushering them to lead Logan safely out of the airport, but Logan doesn't want to leave. He wants to just stand here and look at James. He hasn't seen his boyfriend for days, having only hearing his voice over the phone at random times of the day, each time only lasting for three minutes.
"Logan," Kelly repeats, pushing the short brunet and causing Logan to stumble forward. Now he realizes the paparazzi are waiting for him to reveal his secret, and he closes his eyes for a moment, pulling himself together. He looks at James one more time before quickly following his bodyguards to his car.
"Guess I'll see you at home," James mumbles, watching Logan walk out of the airport doors, his eyes still lingering at the shorter brunet. The crowd starts to disperse, the fan girls and paparazzi fighting their way towards the doors, their screams following after Logan. James sighs as he makes his own way home when his phone rings.
Love you. See you soon. – Logan
Logan's car rolls to a stop, Justin and Jim stepping out to check the area.
"The place is secure," Justin says as he motions Logan to step out.
"Is this really necessary Kelly? I'm home. What possible harm is there when I'm home?" Logan groans when Kelly pushes him out of the car.
"You can never be too careful. Good night Logan and I'll see you on Monday."
"Monday? So I do get a day off tomorrow!"
"Yes, now go find James. I bet he's waiting for you already," Kelly repeats before motioning Justin and Jim to escort Logan to his door.
"Alright! Thanks Kelly! You deserve a break too! Bye!" Logan shouts running around to grab his suitcase.
"Bye guys!" Logan huffs as Justin and Jim tug his suitcase out of the car, running away from the two blondes as soon as his fingers wrap around the suitcase handle. Finally, he can have a day off.
Finally I can have James all to myself tonight. Just… I wonder if I should lie and tell him I'm leaving in the morning for… an interview or –
"Logan Mitchell! Come here right now," James' voice booms in Logan's ear, and all thoughts flee from his mind. He feels himself being pulled into James' strong arms, his face nuzzling into James' wide chest. He sighs, taking in James' scent, the familiarity calming his humour.
"I missed you," Logan says, wrapping his arms around the tall brunet. He can feel James leaning down to kiss his hair, fingers intertwining with the nape of his hair. If only he can freeze this moment, just stand here forever in James' arms.
"I missed you too. Now get in here. It's cold outside," James smiles, closing the door behind the shorter brunet.
"It's been cold for far too long," Logan replies. Somehow he can feel time slipping away from him, and whatever happens tomorrow he doesn't want to know. All he knows is that he's with James.
The sound of the grand piano plays outside James' bedroom door, the melody sweet and slow. James groans at the noise, twisting in bed as he tries to drown the music out. It's way too early for him to wake up, especially on a day like this. He had hoped to stay in bed all day if he can. He yawns and rubs his eyes open while his left arm reaches for the alarm clock.
7:48 A.M, it reads and James huffs, wondering why Logan is up so early in the morning. He looks over to the right side of the bed, white and empty but messy, and James smiles as he recalls last night. Maybe he can convince Logan to come back to bed.
"Logan!" James calls, pouting when the other doesn't respond. He repeatedly calls Logan's name but not once is he successful in getting his boyfriend's attention. The music continues to play and James groans, sitting up in bed. He lazily crawls out of bed and makes his way to the living room, wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs. He sees Logan sitting at the piano and scratching his head with a pencil, tongue sticking out in frustration. Music sheets are scatter everywhere.
"With this song, I confess, I was afraid. Now I know–"
"Just what are you doing?" James asks, walking towards Logan while picking up the music sheets.
"Ow! J – James! You're awake! I didn't expect you to wake up for another couple of hours," Logan flusters, stopping his singing as he rushes over to pull the papers out of James' hand before James can read them.
"You left me in the cold, I had to wake up. Now let's see what you're up to," James replies, reaching out for another music sheet.
"Nothing!" Logan panics, swiftly snatching it out of James' reach and quickly cleaning the area. He carefully places the stack of papers on the piano stand, stretching his fingers before he sits down to continue his song.
"Inspiration came, so I wrote a new song. Nothing special," Logan continues when he notices James' questioning look.
"Well inspiration has to say good bye," James says, pulling Logan into his arms.
"But inspiration is hard to come by!"
"Well, tell inspiration to make an appointment because you're supposed to be mine right now," James complains before leaning down for a well deserved kiss.
"James," Logan whines, dodging James' advance.
"Logan," James mimics, leaning in again, this time successfully placing his lips on Logan's. However, their kiss doesn't last long when Logan's phone rings. James groans, arms tightening around Logan, lips pouting again.
"James," Logan states, arm reaching for his phone. He can see his manager's name appear on the screen, and even though Logan has no intention of working today, he still needs to know what the music company wants from him. James refuses to let go, but moves them over so Logan can answer the call.
"Hey what's up Kelly? … Work? … Now? I thought –, oh I see. Okay, I'll see you in half an hour," Logan answers, eyes glancing at James before ending the call.
"Interview?"
"A movie gig actually. James I'm sorry, I said today I'm all yours but –," Logan starts but gets cut off by James' lips.
"It's okay. I'll still see you tonight right?" James asks, punctuating each word with a kiss.
"Yes, but James if I get this opportunity I'll have to –,"
"Then it's settled. Oh look, I still have 28 minutes and 14 seconds left," James finishes, pulling an exasperated Logan to their bedroom.
If Logan can only squeeze a word in he would definitely tell Gustavo to stop shouting. His fingers are itching to rub his ears, temporarily deaf by now, sitting at the conference room of Rocque Records for the past 6 hours.
"AND IF YOU ONLY…" Gustavo continues to shout around the room, spitting out his theories of how to seal the movie deal, going through the contract again and again. Sometimes Logan wonders if Gustavo knows about James and wants to keep him away from him. What other reason is there to review a contract for 6 and possibly more hours?
"LOGAN! I NEED YOU TO PAY ATTENTION! THIS IS A HUGE DEAL! NOW OFF TO SEE THE DIRECTOR!" Gustavo booms before motioning Kelly and Logan to follow along.
"See the director? Gustavo, you gave me a day off today."
"SO!?"
"So… I'm not supposed to be here! Gustavo, I want a day where there is no phone calls from Kelly, no interviews, no music gigs, no studio recording, no movies, nothing and just…"
"No,"
"Gustavo," Logan pleads, eyes glancing at Kelly for support. Kelly ignores Logan's eyes, leaning in to whisper into Gustavo's ear.
"FINE! You settle this deal and you can get your stupid day off. Now let's GO," Gustavo pouts, swinging around to walk out the door.
"Awesome! Thanks Kelly!" Logan beams at the African woman. Kelly smiles, eyes studying Logan before she speaks.
"Just what were you planning on telling Gustavo?" she asks as she steers Logan towards the elevators, Gustavo already disappearing from their sights.
"What do you mean?"
"You trailed off after just, I thought you were going to tell Gustavo about James."
"I tried, but… that's not what I was planning on saying," Logan hesitates, avoiding Kelly's eyes. He knows she expects an answer and by the time the elevator reaches the lobby, Logan mumbles his answer.
"Just let me be me."
Logan tiptoes into his house, slowly closing the door. It has been five hours since James had called him, but the meeting with the director went a little longer than expected and Logan just can't risk listening to James' calls when Gustavo is breathing down his neck. Besides, he earned what he wanted.
The house is dark and quiet, making Logan's footsteps echo throughout the empty house. He quickly takes off his shoes and quietly walks around, eyes searching for the tall brunet. He walks up the stairs to check his bedroom first, thinking James is probably sleeping, only to find it empty. He checks the other rooms, but when he is unsuccessful in finding the brunet, he decides to move downstairs to check the dining room. The smell of spaghetti fills his nose as he peers into the kitchen, walking past to see two dinner sets place on the dining table. Three waxed candles are still burning on the stand, lightly glowing in the dark, waiting to spread its warmth to the supposedly eating couple a few hours ago. He grimaces at the image, wanting to slap himself for not returning James' calls, and he moves into the living room just to see the fireplace burning, and on the couch is James.
"James… James… You shouldn't be sleeping here. Wake up," Logan whispers, fingers running through James' dark brown hair. James grunts and turns around, refusing to wake up. Logan chuckles as he leans under the coffee table to grab a comforter. He turns back to see James lying on his back, a booklet in his hands.
"A calendar?" Logan questions while settling down beside his sleeping boyfriend. James had a tight grip on the booklet, and Logan had to be slow in the process, careful not to rip it as the thin calendar slowly eases its way from James' strong arms. Logan lies on his back, observing the calendar. There is nothing special about it, ordinary with the theme of puppies, and curiosity overcomes Logan's hesitation as he opens the calendar up. January, February, March, April, May, the months list onward to December, each month covering a single page with days of the month, celebrations, reminders, and an awful lot of red Xs. There are several red shaped hearts, but most of them have been scratched off with an X as well.
"What is this?" Logan whispers, looking at James as if expecting him to wake up and answer him. Instead James just rolls over, hands running over Logan as if wanting to grab something to cuddle with, and Logan places the calendar on the table before snuggling with James. Something about the crossed out hearts nags him, and he places his lips on James'.
"Tomorrow will be different, I promise."
Waking up alone on the couch was not what Logan had in mind for today. Rubbing his eyes he finds himself on the couch, cold and aching, the couch definitely isn't the best place to sleep overnight.
"James?" Logan calls out, pulling the comforter around his shoulders as he shifts into a sitting position.
"Morning sleepy head," James calls back, walking towards Logan with a smile.
"Morning beautiful," Logan smiles back, stretching his arms to pull James in. James leans in to give Logan a kiss, laughing as he struggles out of Logan's grasp.
"You know, Gustavo isn't going to enjoy waiting for you all day," he says, walking off towards the kitchen.
"He'll survive. He promised."
"Does that mean you have time to eat? 'Cause I made breakfast," James asks when he hears Logan sneaking up behind him. He can feel Logan's arms snaking its way around his waist, neck craning to rest on his shoulder.
"Ummm, tastes good," Logan says, nibbling on James neck.
"Logan stop, we don't have time for this. Gustavo is going to kill you if you're late," James complains as he pushes Logan away.
"James, Gustavo gave me a day off. Now come back here,"
"Day off?"
"Yeah, day off. A day where we can do whatever we want. Now get BACK HERE!"
"Whatever we want?"
"Yes, whatever we want, and right now I want you!" Logan insists, arms reaching out for James. James laughs as he allows Logan into his embrace. He allows Logan to spread kisses along his jaw and chin, his mind already thinking of all the things they can do today. When Logan starts pressing kisses onto his neck, palms sliding over his hips, it was then James realizes he had never spent a single day with Logan outside of the boundaries of the house. Once again ignoring Logan's protest, James walks towards their bedroom only to return with two caps, two t-shirts and a mouth mask.
"Just what do you have in mind?" Logan asks, his questioning eyes matching James' sly smirk.
"Babe, let's go outside today."
"Stop pulling Logan! You're going to ruin the shirt!" James whines as he firmly grips Logan's hands to stop the stretching, pulling the shorter brunet down the concrete road as they stroll in the local park, previously admiring the wonderful sunny weather.
"But I love this shirt! Look!" Logan beams, fingers wiggling within James' grip, itching to stretch his pink shirt so the comical picture of Logan and the words Love Music pops out from his chest.
"But you're going to ruin the shirt," James complains, tightening his grip. James had spent countless nights creating the design on the shirts and he's not going to throw it out because of Logan's fanatic stretching of the fabric.
"Hey, I love this James. I'm not going to ruin it. Besides, your heart's right here," Logan smiles as he pulls his right hand loose, and points to the heart the comic Logan is blowing out.
"You notice that?" James asks, running his finger over it. He thought it was cool using his initials JD to create that heart, making it seem like he will always be with Logan, but seeing it on Logan right now; he wonders if it is such a good idea. His initials outline the heart, but there will always be a line breaking the heart into two.
"Yes and it's brilliant," Logan replies, taking off his mask so he can lean up to give James a kiss. James smiles into the kiss, closing his eyes to savour the feeling when he hears gasping behind him.
"Oh my gosh, is that Logan Mitchell? Helen, I think I see Logan Mitchell."
"Oh god, I think it is him."
Girls start to bustle around, causing Logan and James to continue walking down the road, pretending that nothing had happened, and when the girls start to scream Logan's name, James reluctantly releases Logan's hand, walking away before anyone notices his presence. As far as the world knows, James Diamond is nothing but a man strolling through the park, while Logan Mitchell is a single, ladies loving superstar.
It takes a while for James to find a tree to hide behind, his eyes instinctively focusing on Logan as he watches Logan's fans merge from all directions, quickly surrounding the short brunet from his view. He can see Logan busily taking pictures and signing autographs, and as time pass, more and more girls seem to gather, and James wonders just how long this will take.
"So much for a normal walk in the park."
"Hey girls, I really gotta go, thanks for the support," Logan says after a while of signing autographs and taking pictures. He's starting to worry about James' disappearance, mostly because he promised James that he's all his for the day, and he didn't plan the fan girls into the equation. Logan apologizes while excusing himself, feeling the disappointment from some of the girls as he tries to walk towards the trees, eyes searching for James.
"James? James! Ja – AMES," Logan calls before being pull to the side. He flops against James' chest, his breath hitch in his throat from the shock.
"Mine," James pouts and Logan nods before giving James a reassuring kiss.
"Yours. I'm sorry about my fans," Logan apologizes as he looks over James' shoulder to see that the crowd has dispersed. When the coast is clear, Logan pulls James out of hiding, linking their hands together as they continue to walk away from the park.
"Now where do you wanna go next?"
James gasps as he watches the horror movie with Logan. The sudden fall of the main character into a pool of icy cold water, darkness surrounding her as the mysterious presence continues to drag her downwards cause James to shift in his seat.
"Logan," James whispers, his hand reaching over the armrest to hold Logan's hand, stopping when he remembers a major detail. Logan isn't sitting beside him. He was supposed to, but he isn't. James peers down the aisle to see Logan sitting 6 seats away from him, and James sighs before flopping back against his seat. He had thought because of the incident at the park, the movie theatres should be dark enough to conceal their identity and allow them to spend some time like normal couples, but they can't because a bunch of girls recognized Logan at the lobby. It was a good thing the movie he is watching now is R rated, and the girls couldn't get inside, or else he would have walked out by now. No way is he going to sit around while a bunch of 14 year olds drool over his Logan.
James peers over again, seeing Logan squeak in his seat, and he really wants to walk over and cuddle with Logan, but that will only draw attention to Logan again. Even though they are sitting down and watching a movie, James can still hear the whispers of Logan Mitchell surrounding him. There is just no way James can have a normal relationship with Logan.
"Oh god, James!" Logan whispers as a knife flies out of nowhere heading straight towards a man's head. Logan can feel his heart stopping, all the blood gushing out of the man's mouth and Logan wants to vomit. He can see James squirming in his seat, and Logan waits until James looks over towards him.
"Let's go," he mouths, pointing towards the exit, and James nods before disappearing in the dark. Logan cringes at a scream, shaking his head as he leaves the movie theatre. Never is he going to watch horror movies again.
They decide to return home after the movie, both of them too tired to continue a "normal" relationship. As James hops on Logan's motorcycle, wrapping his arms around Logan's waist, he wonders if this is what it will be like forever: watching the world go past them in a flash, nobody recognizing them due to the speed, their faces mask by their helmets. As the world flies pass them, James closes his eyes and nuzzles his head into Logan's back, taking in Logan's scent, feeling comfortable and safe, when suddenly they erupt into a stop.
"Hey, what's wrong?" James asks, opening his eyes and releasing his arms. Logan had suddenly stopped the ride and stumbles out of the motorcycle, a hand sticking towards James.
"Logan, what's going on?" James laughs as he takes Logan's hand, and the short brunet pulls him towards a little boutique. Once inside, James can see hundreds of suits, ties and shoes, all placed perfectly in their sections, all of them waiting for the right person to come around and take them off the shelf. Logan leads him to a chair, gentle seating James into it before he kneels down.
"James I feel bad about what happened today, and I just want to try one more time….Will you go out with me tonight?" Logan asks while his eyes squeezing tight as he prays James' answer is yes.
"You mean… go out for dinner… in a public place."
"Uh… yeah."
"No masks, no caps, nothing. Just you and me?"
"Yeah, just you and me in fancy clothes at a nice restaurant… so yes?" Logan asks, not quite sure of James' answer.
"Let's see what I can find then."
Several hours later, Logan walks out of the boutique with James in hand. Logan is wearing a simple black suit with a red shirt, his outfit matching James' except that James is in blue. He can see Justin driving the car towards them, and Logan tugs James into the car before untying his necktie.
"Logan, what are you doing now?" James asks as Logan covers his eyes with the necktie.
"I want it to be a surprise," Logan answers before whispering to Justin the location. He holds onto James' hand, occasionally squeezing it, sending comfort into the anxious man beside him. When the car stops, he slowly guides James into the restaurant, slowly leading him to his seat before untying the necktie.
"Beautiful," James mumbles as he takes in his surroundings. Everything is just like Logan promised, dim lights, burning candles, white table cloths, wine glasses, and soft music playing in the background…just like a normal candlelight dinner would be like.
"Cheers," Logan says, waving Justin away to hush the whispers of the waiters. He can feel James squirm slightly, trying to ignore them, and he reaches over to grab James' hand.
"Cheers to us," Logan confirms, and James nods before drinking his wine.
He's trying, James reminds himself and he smiles as the first course arrives. He can feel change tonight.
They are well into the second course of the meal when Justin suddenly appears, rushing towards Logan and urgently whispers into Logan's ear.
"Please, Logan you have to leave now."
"Justin, call Jim. Both of you can hold them off until later right?"
"He's already here. There's just too much of them, it's impossible to stay any longer."
"But we're almost done! Please Justin, try."
"Logan, I –"
"Let's go Logan," James interrupts, swallowing down his bite.
"No, we're staying," Logan assures before turning back to Justin.
"I know it's the paparazzi," James replies, getting up.
"James, I –,"
"It's okay Logan. I get it. Now let's go," and without another word, James grabs Logan's hand and follows Justin out through the kitchen and into the back alley. The paparazzi are already waiting for them, the flashing lights and clicking of cameras echoes through the dark night as the screams of the reporters sound in their ears.
"Logan! Logan! Who is he Logan!? Tell us!" the reporters screams as they fighting to get a glimpse of James, who is too busy pulling a shocked Logan to follow him.
"That way! Come on Logan," Justin shouts as he pushes the trailing waiters into the crowd of reporters, successfully knocking a few down. James continues to run, Logan following along as they both try to reach the car waiting at the end of alley.
"We're almost there Logan," James shouts, not daring to look back. No matter how much he wants to look back and see if Logan can keep up with him, he can't risk the paparazzi taking a picture of him. No matter how much Logan tries for him, James has to admit it's time to give up. It's time for both of them to let go.
And just like that James let's go of Logan hand, slowing down to a stop as the thought rip his heart in half. He has done it, he had let go of Logan.
"James? James, we have to go. The paparazzi are gaining on us," Logan urges, seeing Justin start to stagger backwards. Even his crazy attempts of using an umbrella to block the flashing cameras can't block the reporters hunger for celebrity news.
"Logan, I think –"
"James please, we'll talk after we get in the car," Logan begs and James hesitantly steps in. When Logan settles in besides James, he motions Jim to drive away, the car quickly zooming its way into the dark night.
"Logan I –," James starts but stops when Logan pulls him into a kiss. The kiss is sweet, slow, and the taste of Logan lingers on James' soft lips when Logan pulls away for air. It brings tears to James when he realizes how much he will miss Logan after tonight.
"Please James, there's nobody but you," Logan reassures, kissing James once more.
"I know… but I can't do this anymore."
Jim peers over his shoulder to sneak a peek at the couple in the back. The silence in the car seems louder than the busy streets outside, the tension in the air almost making him suffocate. He reaches to a stop and brakes the car, hand reaching up to untie his necktie. They are almost home, and Jim fears Logan will never smile again.
When Jim pulls up at Logan's house, Logan and James step out from opposite sides of the car, slowly making their way inside. James mutters a good night before speeding up the stairs, while Logan lingers in the living room, not yet willing to face the fact he and James are breaking up. He sits down at the couch, hands running through his hair as he tries to think of a way to beg James to stay when he notices the calendar sticking out from the comforter. He pulls it out and opens it to see the red Xs, suddenly understanding the meaning behind this calendar.
"Maybe it's meant to be."
He walks to the piano, inspiration coming to him as he finishes the last few lines of his song.
"With this song, I confess, I was afraid.
With this act, I must have failed you in a way.
Now I know, it was because of the world, I wasn't there for you.
If only I can be what you need, then you will see.
Only I'm not worthy of your love, so here I set you free."
9 months later
"Hey James, that guy you really like is on TV. Who is it again? The one who sings and acts," says James' roommate Carlos, who is apparently watching a movie awards show. James stops chopping the onions and wipes his hands before settling down next to him.
"Logan Mitchell," James replies, eyes train on the black haired man on the screen, his heart slightly stinging from seeing him. Ever since that night, James has always kept up with Logan's news, being his number one fan, and finally, Logan Mitchell has gotten his first movie award.
When the announcer calls Logan to the stage, James watches Logan bow to the audience before proceeding to the stage, taking his award while the announcer whispers into his ear. James can see him taking a deep breath, probably holding onto his tears as he steps towards the microphone and starts listing the people he wanted to thank. It was a short list, and the announcer jokes that Logan still has a lot of time left, but Logan insists on leaving. He was never one for the spotlight if it weren't for his talents. James smiles and gets up the same time Logan steps away from the microphone.
"Although there is one more person I want to thank," Logan's voice suddenly booms through the TV speakers, stopping James in his tracks.
"I didn't want to say it before as I'm sure he isn't watching this, but the person I want to thank is very special to me. He let me be me. He took everything he never deserved to go through, being with me all the way until he can't anymore. I wasn't worthy of his love yet I had it. So I thank you James... And I love you. Thank you for everything," Logan finishes before walking towards the show's reporters.
Tears trickle down James' cheeks his heart bursting at the confession. That was all he wanted from Logan and he finally got it. He can't help but choke on his sobs and Carlos quickly flips the TV off, rushing to James' side.
"Hey what's wrong?"
"Nothing, the onions are stinging my eyes, that's all."
"Well let me handle dinner," Carlos assures, walking to the kitchen to finish the onions, and James sinks onto the couch again, Logan's words rewinding in his mind before coming to a conclusion.
If only he isn't Logan Mitchell, then he is all James Diamond needs.