Series: VOY
Codes: Chakotay/Paris
Rating: NC17
Categories: Humour, Romance.
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Paramount-Viacom. I just borrowed them and am not writing for profit.
Summary: Chakotay is fairly sure the entire population of the Delta Quadrant is sexually depraved and completely insane. He may be right.
Warnings: This is NC17 rated so graphic descriptions of m/m sex.
Author's Note: I think I wrote the first chapter of this back in 2007 and then kind of forgot about it. Recently, I rediscovered it and finished it!
Stage Fright - Chapter 1
Of course, it had to be Tom Paris.
Chakotay's head was throbbing in dull pain, but he still managed to roll his eyes in bitter resignation at the sight of Voyager's chief pilot lying unconscious on the floor beside him.
Why was it that whenever something went wrong on an away mission, Tom Paris was surely involved? Unfortunately the trouble always seemed to involve someone else as well, and this time it looked liked being Chakotay's turn, and spending any kind of time with Tom Paris was Chakotay's least favorite entertainment. It wasn't that he loathed Tom Paris, although at one time he'd certainly felt strong contempt for him, it was just that the brash pilot often irritated him. Surely, all that arrogant confidence couldn't be real but Tom's mission in life certainly seemed to be to convince the world that it was.
Carefully, Chakotay dragged himself onto his knees and crawled towards the wall, slumping against it in exhaustion. Its coldness was a complete relief to his aching body and he pressed against it gratefully. His head was finally beginning to clear, and soon he'd try to remember what on earth had happened to them.
It seemed wishful thinking, under his current circumstances, but Chakotay tapped his communicator anyway. As expected, his request to speak to the Captain was met with silence and Chakotay rolled his eyes in resignation, then immediately regretted the action as even this small movement caused his head to throb sickeningly.
A soft groan came from the body on the floor and then Tom Paris jerked upright. A second later he collapsed sideways, moaning loudly.
"Take it easy, Paris," Chakotay's voice sounded like a raspy saw, painful to his tender ears. "If your head feels anything like mine, you're going to need to get up very, very slowly."
"Mmmph," came the reply.
After a few moments, the body moved again, slowly and carefully rising to a sitting position. Chakotay's gaze met bloodshot, blue eyes in a pale face, and he hoped he didn't look as bad as Paris. But he suspected he did.
Tom Paris cleared his throat. "What happened?"
"I assume we've been taken prisoner," Chakotay replied. "What's the last thing you remember, Lieutenant?"
Tom's brow creased thoughtfully and Chakotay waited. "I'd been with Kes and Neelix, talking to one of the Flartlings. I remember seeing the Captain leave with the President; I went to get a drink, some Flartle gave me some pink fizzy thing, and then… bam… nothing. You?"
"Pretty much the same, including the pink fizzy thing. I guess there must have been something in it."
"Does that mean the rest of the away team have been captured as well?"
Chakotay pondered for a moment and shook his head, wincing as he immediately regretted the movement.
"Can't say for sure, but I don't remember seeing any of those pink fizzy things around earlier. Maybe we're the only ones who got them."
"So, what could they want with us?" Tom asked, slowly. "I don't understand this. We were getting along with the Flartlings, and they certainly seemed happy with the trade we'd made."
"Hmm, I know," Chakotay murmured.
They sat for a while in silence, wondering what had happened and waiting for the aches and pains to subside. Chakotay took the time to examine the small cell they were sitting in. There wasn't much to see in the dim light that seemed to have no source. Grey metal walls, grey metal floor, no windows, and even more worrying, no apparent door. His eyes met Tom's again. The pilot's gaze was now clearer but his eyes held a strong expression of anxiety... and vulnerability.
Before he could acknowledge his surprise at the expression on Tom's face, the dim light suddenly flared into a brightness that stabbed painfully into Chakotay's eyes.
"Damn," Chakotay swore, shielding his face with his hands. "Turn that down."
To Chakotay's intense surprise, the lights dimmed obediently.
**Sorry.** The deep, disembodied voice echoed in the small cell.
Well, Chakotay reflected rather peevishly, at least their captors appeared to be polite. He clambered to his feet and sighed with relief when his head didn't fall off.
"What do you want with us?" He asked in the general direction of nowhere. He'd always hated disembodied voices, responding to them tended to make one feel foolish. "And what have you done with the rest of our people?"
**You're people are here,** the voice replied. **Whether they will remain here, depends entirely on you.**
Chakotay frowned. The words sounded vaguely and ominously threatening.
"What do you mean by that?" The question came from Tom Paris, who had risen to his feet and was now standing near Chakotay, a solid and supportive presence at his side.
**If you do not co-operate, their presence at this facility will be terminated.**
Definitely threatening.
"Listen," Chakotay strove to achieve his most reassuring and reasonable voice. "I'm not sure why you've done this. We had made an agreement with you that you had seemed perfectly satisfied with. If you weren't, you had only to say so and we would have been happy to negotiate diplomatically. There is no need to resort to-"
**Sorry,** the voice interrupted him, and Chakotay blinked in surprise at the apologetic tone. **It's not the agreement. We're perfectly happy with the agreement. It's just that our scientific community came across something very interesting in the data files you gave us and they'd like some more information. That is why you have been brought to this laboratory facility.**
"Fine," Chakotay replied, still feeling puzzled. "I don't understand why you abducted us and are threatening us then. We're quite happy to answer any questions you have."
A long silence followed his diplomatic reply, and Chakotay glanced at Tom, who met his look with one of confusion, and then shrugged his shoulders.
"This is nuts," he said, and Chakotay could only agree.
They waited.
**WE REQUIRE A DEMONSTRATION.** They both jumped as the voice blasted out of the walls at them. **IF YOU DO NOT CO-OPERATE YOUR PRESENCE AT THIS FACILITY WILL BE TERMINATED. **
"OKAY, OKAY," Tom Paris yelled. "But turn it down a notch will ya?"
**Sorry,** the voice responded, several decibels lower. **We are experiencing some difficulties.**
"You're not wrong there," Tom Paris muttered, and Chakotay couldn't stop himself from smirking. The pilot was annoyingly entertaining at times.
"So, what's this demonstration you want?" he asked, patiently.
**Amongst your data files we have found information describing sexual activity in your species. Activity that we find most unusual.**
"Uh, oh," Tom Paris whispered. "I don't like the sound of this."
For the third time in as many minutes, Chakotay found himself agreeing with the pilot. It seemed this day was to be full of surprises. "And?" he prompted. "What sort of activity?"
**Amongst your species it is not considered unusual for members of the same gender to engage in sexual activity. For males, this includes penetration. We require a demonstration of this.**
"OH BOY," Tom's voice burst out explosively in the small room. "You have got to be kidding me! I've got two words for you, buddy, and in this situation they're strangely appropriate…"
"Lieutenant," Chakotay hissed, grabbing Tom's arm roughly. "Calm down. Let me talk to them."
"Well, okay, Commander," Tom whispered. "But I still say this is nuts."
Chakotay directed a quelling look at Tom Paris and then cleared his throat. "I'm not sure we can do that," he said loudly. "You see that would be unusual behavior for our species. Usually human couples are emotionally involved before that type of sexual activity occurs. The Lieutenant and I are not emotionally involved in that way."
"You got that right," Tom muttered, and Chakotay sent another severe look his way.
**We require a demonstration. If you do not co-operate, your presence at this facility will be terminated.**
"Look, we can't just do that, right," Tom stated firmly. "It's not that simple, it can't just happen on demand."
**We have researched this topic in your files and we are aware that you will require assistance. We have provided you with the item you call lubricant.**
A small beam of light came down from the ceiling, illuminating the shadows in a corner of their cell where they now saw a small earthenware bowl placed on the floor. It was full to the brim of a gleaming fluid, which looked very much like some sort of oil.
"Oh. Thanks," Tom's voice was flat. "But that's not quite what I meant."
**You may proceed.**
Chakotay, with an increasingly stomach-sinking feeling of sheer horror, had been desperately trying to think of a way out of their predicament. He sighed deeply.
"You say that if we do not co-operate we will be terminated," he stated carefully.
**Correct.**
"What about our companions?" he asked.
**Their presence will also be terminated.**
"Surely, we can negotiate further on this. Perhaps there's some other way…"
**We require a demonstration.** The voice was firm but still polite. The politeness was really beginning to irritate Chakotay. ** If you do not co-operate, your presence at this facility will be terminated.**
Chakotay closed his eyes in a brief moment of pure despair. When he opened them, Tom Paris was staring at him resentfully.
"Great conversationalists, aren't they?"
"Tom…"
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
**You may proceed.**
"Shut. UP!" The words burst out from both of them and for a split second Chakotay felt a surge of kinship for Tom Paris. Then he looked at the bowl sitting like a spider in the corner, and the feeling was gone.
"Okay, so how do we do this?" Tom asked, frustration clearly evident in his voice.
Tom Paris had surprised Chakotay yet again. "You haven't done…?" he left the question hanging as he caught Tom's laser look of pure fury.
"No, actually, I haven't. So there you go – you get to be the expert, as usual."
Chakotay's own anger flared. "And there you go, making assumptions as usual. I haven't done this either."
"Oh great," Tom snarled. "The all-knowing First Officer finally admits inexperience. And perfect timing too."
**You may proceed.** The voice sounded slightly confused, and they both ignored it.
"Well, I'm still recovering from the shock that the all-powerful sex god known as Tom Paris would admit that there is something he doesn't know about sex."
"I know what to do, you idiot, what I meant was who's going to do what exactly."
"Oh," Chakotay's towering anger came crashing down with a thud. He eyed Tom apprehensively. "I hadn't thought of that."
"I didn't think so. Of course, it would be inappropriate for a senior officer to take advantage of a junior officer under his command."
"Oh you don't get away with that," Chakotay growled, his anger flaring up again. "It could be argued that it would be just as inappropriate for a senior officer to submit in such a way to a junior officer!"
**You may proceed.**
"THAT'S ABSOLUTE CRAP AND YOU KNOW IT," Tom yelled, "AND IT'S TOTALLY ARCHAIC AS WELL."
"Well, so is what you said," Chakotay pointed out. "In this situation it wouldn't be seen as taking advantage. We're both agreeing to do this."
"I wouldn't exactly call it agreement."
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Chakotay was yelling now as well, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the entire argument was merely a delaying tactic for both of them and he forced himself to calm down. "We're going to have to decide something."
"Okay, I'm taller than you-"
"That's the most stupid-"
**You may proceed.**
"All right then, if you remember, I saved your butt. Your life's mine, remember?" An evil expression crossed Tom's face. "But I'll settle for your butt."
"I told you at the time," Chakotay sneered. "Wrong tribe."
**You may proceed.**
"Okay," snapped Tom Paris. "It's whoever has the biggest dick. If yours is bigger, I get to do you, if mine's bigger then it's the other way around. It's the fairest way."
For a moment Chakotay stared at him in speechless horror. "I'm not getting into some dick-measuring competition with you," he finally spluttered.
**Excuse me.**
"Look, Commander," Tom's voice was now smugly patronizing and Chakotay seriously considered hitting him. "Neither of us has done this before, and it's gonna hurt. It's only fair that the receiver takes the smaller dick."
Chakotay narrowed his eyes at Tom. "You're taking a big risk on an assumption here, Tom, and I'm not that easily flattered. Be very careful, you may be overstating the case, and I just might call you on it."
**Excuse me.**
"I thought you didn't want to get into a competition," Tom muttered sullenly, and his confident expression now seemed far less confident, much to Chakotay's satisfaction.
**EXCUSE ME!** The voice boomed through the room and they both jumped, hands over their ears.
"WHAT?" Tom yelled.
**You may proceed.**
Chakotay lost his temper again. "OKAY, OKAY. We're just getting through the foreplay," he snarled.
Tom gaped at him for a long moment looking very much like a startled fish, and then, incredibly, he collapsed on the floor, snorting with laughter.
Chakotay, still furious, watched him for a moment and then concern took over as Tom's laughter began to sound hysterical. He knelt on the floor beside the pilot and laid a tentative hand on his shoulder.
"Tom," he said gently. "You need to calm down. We both need to calm down."
Tom took a deep, gasping breath. "I know," he finally whispered. "But this is so totally nuts."
"I know," Chakotay agreed. "But we're just going to have to do it. And you were right; I can't take advantage of you, and I guess I owe you."
Tom shifted under Chakotay's hand and when Tom looked up at him Chakotay was shocked to see the burning fury in Tom's eyes. "Oh, there you go again, the noble, honorable First Officer, sacrificing himself at the first opportunity. Well, I don't need you sacrificing yourself for me."
Chakotay flinched at the sneering tone and his face burnt with a mixture of anger and humiliation. It seemed it always turned out this way with Tom Paris, no matter what he did. Just when he thought things were slowly improving between them, and he had thought they were in the last few months, Paris would turn it all around on him and he'd be back where they had started. Voyager had been stuck in the Delta Quadrant for just over six months; at this rate by the end of the year they'd have killed each other.
"Fine then," Chakotay growled. "I'm done with this. Take your clothes off, Lieutenant, and turn over. Let's get on with it."
Chakotay turned to collect the bowl of oil so he didn't see Tom's face but he heard his gasp of shock and couldn't help smiling to himself in grim satisfaction. When he turned back, Tom hadn't moved and his face was pale and set.
Chakotay sighed, his emotions veering wildly once more. "Look, Tom, we have to do this. You want to make me the bad guy, fine, I'm the bad guy. I can even make it an order if that will help."
Tom stared at him for a long time, his face expressionless but his blue eyes cold and hard. "At this moment," Tom finally spoke, his voice tight, "we're just two guys right?" Chakotay nodded. "I know you don't really like me, Chakotay, and that's fine – I'm not that fond of you either, but, like you, I'll do anything for the good of Voyager. I respect you for that and I expect you to respect me for it as well, whatever happens. So, once the uniforms go back on, we forget about this and while I know that you'll have to report to the Captain, no one else ever finds out about it. Deal?"
Chakotay didn't have to think about it. It was a deal he could easily live with.
"Deal," he agreed.
Tom took a deep breath. "Okay then. Let's get this over and done with."