"You kissed her?" Rachel shouted. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Somehow, her boyfriend had managed to kiss the only girl in school he knew she couldn't stand. Quinn Fabray. She rolled her eyes in disgust. The worst part, was that he made it seem like it was no big deal; that she should just forgive him for the sake of forgiving. But she wasn't letting him off that easy.
"It was just one kiss." He said, as if that was supposed to make her feel any better. "Just one kiss?" She repeated. "So, you're telling me, that if I walked around and gave 'just one kiss' to every guy in this school, that you would be okay with that?" She tested him, trying to make her point. When he opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut if before anything could come out, she knew she had made it. "That's what I thought." She snapped, as she turned on her heels, and walked away from him, leaving him standing there in the hallway.
Rachel was alone when she walked into the choir room. They had at least another fifteen minutes before everyone showed up. She was okay with that though; it would give her some time to cool off before she had to see him again. She just didn't understand. She thought everything had been going pretty smoothly between them these past few months; until this happened. I mean, how could he kiss her? After all they had been through? Not to mention she had already broken his heart once, when she decided to lose her virginity to someone who wasn't him – while they were dating. As if that wasn't enough, she got pregnant and made him believe that the baby was his, just so she didn't have to take care of it on her own, after Sam bailed.
Sure Quinn was pretty. Heck, she was gorgeous. Rachel knew that she had her beat in that department. She was nowhere near as beautiful as Quinn was, but she had thought her boyfriend had a little more self respect than that. The girl had practically trampled all over his heart for crying out loud, and he, with the lack of words, had basically told her that it was okay. She just couldn't seem to wrap her head around that.
She was still sitting in the choir room, thinking to herself, when Puck walked in and noticed her tear stained cheeks. She wiped them quickly, trying to compose herself. She shouldn't be crying, she thought. Finn was the one who was missing out.
"Yo, Berry, enough with the waterworks. I don't wanna witness all this "girl drama," he emphasized, "just 'cause Mercedes got your solo this year." He said, walking over and taking the seat next to her. Truthfully, he could care less about the drama. He was so used to it by now it hardly even phased him anymore. Actually, he had grown to kind of like it. It made everything a bit more...interesting. He just didn't like to see her cry.
What was he thinking? He didn't even like this chick. Why the heck did it matter to him if she cried or not? He tried to shake the feeling, but he could still feel it lingering, and he wasn't sure he liked it.
"Shut it, Noah. I'm not in the mood for you right now." She spat at him. He didn't understand why she was the only person in the world who refused to address him as "Puck." Everyone else he knew did, and wouldn't dare to call him otherwise. Yet, she said it his real name all the time without fear of any consequences. Maybe she knew he wouldn't actually do anything to harm her, no matter how much of a bad-ass he pretended to be. Well, aside from maybe a slushy in the face, but now that he was on the receiving end of that cruel joke, he had began to refrain from being the one doing the slushy-ing. Even though he was the one who had started the whole thing in the first place, he had to admit, he didn't like how it felt; and he was sick of having to bring an extra change of clothes, in case he happened to be the target of the day.
No matter how many times she called him by his real name though, he never said a word. It was like some sort of mutual understanding between the two of them, that that was the way it was going to be. Neither one of them was going to budge. She wouldn't call him "Puck" if her life depended on it, and he wasn't going to say anything about it either, just in case for whatever reason she decided to start.
He actually liked her stubbornness; it reminded him of himself. But under no circumstances, would he admit to her that he actually kind of liked it when she called him by his first name. It made him feel good. Special. He didn't know how a girl as crazy as she was, could make him feel anything at all, other than annoyed. But somehow, she managed.
"Wow, someone's cranky. On the rag?" He snickered. He liked pushing her buttons. He thought it was cute seeing her all riled up. But, only if he was the one doing it. That's why he was secretly dying to know why he had caught her crying when he walked into the choir room a few minutes before.
Ugh, quit it Puckerman. Pull yourself together, he thought. You don't feel things like this. Especially not about her. He growled to himself. Besides, she was his best friends girl. He had no right thinking about her the way he was.
He had no idea how this one girl, how this one crazy, insane, girl, could do this to him. How she could make all the non-caring composure he had built up over the years, come tumbling down in just a matter of minutes. He hated it. She shouldn't be able to have this effect on him. Who did she think she was, anyway?
"Ugh. You're so vile, Noah." She said in disgust, rolling her eyes. "I try." He smirked. There it was again. Noah. This girl was going to be the death of him. He wanted to know what was wrong with her, but had no idea how to ask her nicely, without losing his bad-ass image. After all, he had a reputation to uphold now that he was in Glee club. His social status was slowly dwindling, and he didn't want to erase his popularity entirely before he had to.
"So, what's wrong with you anyway?" He asked, trying to keep it cool. He didn't need her to know that he actually cared.
"Why do you care? You hate me." She scoffed.
"True. But we have another five minutes until class starts, and I have nothing better to do. So spill." He demanded. He thought that did the trick. His bad-ass rep was still intact.
She sat there for a moment, thinking if she should really tell him or not. But, what harm would it do? The whole school probably knew by now anyway. Word had a way of traveling pretty fast around that place.
"Finn kissed Quinn." She finally breathed. "And he thinks it's no big deal. Like I'm just supposed to forgive him and move on." She began to rant. "If it had been any other girl, then sure, maybe. I mean, I would have still been hurt, but not as much as I am now, knowing it was her." She huffed. Puck could see her chest heave a little, as she tried not to cry again, and his heart sank for her. He still couldn't understand why he cared so much.
"So dump the douche and move on." He told her, as if it was that simple. "You could do better anyway." He said, meeting her eyes. She looked away, not knowing what to think of his semi sweet demeanor, a slight heat rising in her cheeks.
"Isn't Finn your best friend?" Rachel asked him, wiping away a small tear. "Why would you just want me to break up with him so quickly?" She was curious now. If she wasn't already before when he asked her what was wrong, she certainly was now. Weren't best friends supposed to have each others backs? She didn't think they were supposed to be so quick on giving break up advice. Not this kind anyway.
"Seriously, Rachel. We're in high school. Do you think we're going to be best friends forever?" He asked her sarcastically, rolling his eyes, as he ran a hand through his mo-hawk. Well, yeah. She thought to herself. Kurt and her had been best friends for as long as she could remember. She certainly didn't think that would end just because they would leave high school. Surely their friendship had to be stronger than that, right? They had plans for when they got out of this place. NYADA, Broadway, you name it. The world was theirs. At least she thought. But, it seemed as if Puck was trying to tell her otherwise. And yes, in her head she was safe to call him "Puck," but she wouldn't be caught dead saying it to his face. She was too stubborn for that.
"I-I just don't know what to do." She sighed. "I mean, I still love him, but this hurts, you know?" Puck just sat there and listened to her. No one was around, so what could it hurt to be a little friendly for a minute or two. Besides, the more she told him what she was feeling over that neanderthal, the more he wanted to kick his ass. How could he do that to a girl? Sure, he had a reputation of being quite the man-whore himself, but this was different. This was Rachel they were dealing with. All those other girls had just been randoms he picked up at the bar, with his fake ID, for one night stands. None of them ever meant anything to him, at least not the way she seemed to.
"I feel like we were already on the rocks when we got back together, after he told me he had lied about losing his virginity." She went on. "I mean, granted we weren't together then, but still. I thought he cared enough about me to wait until we fixed things. Did you know you slept with Santana?" She asked, turning to look at him now. "Of all people, he had to pick Santana. Am I that awful? Or was he really just that desperate to lose his virginity that he had to sleep with the sluttiest girl in school?" She huffed.
Puck couldn't stand to sit there and hear her say all this stuff anymore. She had no idea how great she truly was. She was far from awful. Sure she may get on his nerves sometimes, and could be highly annoying, but he kind of liked that about her. She was different, and in a world as terrible as this one, she still dared to be herself; no matter how many slushies were thrown her way. Sometimes he wished he was more like her.
"Alright Berry, wanna know a secret?" He asked, looking around the room to see if anyone might be listening in. That was for her amusement though, of course. Apparently everyone in the school already knew, but her. "What?" She asked, sniffling a little.
"Santana's into girls." He whispered, trying not to laugh. This girl could be so clueless sometimes. "I'm telling you right now, that more than likely, neither one of them enjoyed it, and it most definitely won't be happening again." He reassured her. There was some comfort in knowing that he could make her feel just a little bit better.
"What? Really?" She asked, surprised. "Yup." Puck said, popping the 'p', as he slouched back into his chair. "Well, what about Quinn? She's definitely not a lesbian." Rachel said. How can I be so sure that that won't happen again?" She asked. She was trying to sound sarcastic, but she really did want to know the answer, because she certainly didn't know it herself.
"Don't know, don't care." He said, getting up and moving to a seat in the back. "Like I said, dump the douche."
Those were the last words Rachel and Puck exchanged before the choir room began to fill. He had certainly given her a lot to think about.
"Alright, guys! Everyone take a seat, we have a lot to discuss before nationals this year!" Mr. Schue announced, walking into the the room.
Rachel began to think, when she saw what he had written on the white board: WHO ARE WE? It was supposed to be the topic of their next lesson, but Rachel had just the song for it that moment. Lately, Finn had been making her feel insecure; like she wasn't pretty. At least not pretty enough for him. After all, he had slept with Santana; one of the prettiest girls in school, and had kissed Quinn, the prettiest one. What was it about her that wasn't good enough for him? Why didn't he think she was pretty too? Rachel had always thought that she was okay looking. I mean, she certainly wasn't ugly, but she wasn't gorgeous either. Recently, Finn had her questioning everything about herself. Without noticing, she began to change small things, hoping to make him happy. It started off with her hair, then her wardrobe, and soon enough she began to change her personality as well. She wasn't sure she liked who she was becoming. Maybe the only way to change that, as much as it hurt her to say, was to get rid of Finn. Why should she be with someone who she just couldn't be herself with?
"Mr. Schue? If it's okay, I'd like to sing a song quickly pertaining to this weeks lesson." Rachel said, hoping he wouldn't deny her. She didn't to get this off her chest.
"Sure Rachel, that's great. Come on up, we're all ears." Mr. Schue said, gesturing for her to take her spot in the center of the room. She got up, and quickly looked at Finn, before forcing herself to swallow the lump in her throat. But as she locked her eyes on Finn, who was making googly eyes at Quinn, any doubts she had of doing this had went away. She quickly whispered to the piano man what she wanted to sing, and pointed to him when she was ready, telling him to start. She began, staring straight at Finn; her soon to be ex-boyfriend.
I wish I could tie you up in my shoes My outsides are cool You can buy your hair if it won't grow I feel pretty Never insecure until I met you My outsides look cool You can buy your hair if it won't grow I feel pretty Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight) I feel pretty (You can buy your hair if it won't grow) I feel pretty
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright
Now I'm being stupid
I used to be so acute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me (hey)
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
Keep on trippin'
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh so pretty (You can fix your nose if he says so)
I feel pretty and witty and bright (You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make)
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty
But unpretty
"Maybe I need to get rid of you, to get back to me." Rachel said in a soft voice, particularly to Finn, who was now paying attention. She turned around and made her way out of the choir room. "Rachel! Rachel, wait!" Finn shouted to her, as he got up and began to go after her. That is, until Puck beat him to it. "Sit down, dumb ass. You've already done enough. I've got her." Puck told him, as he walked out of the room, going to find Rachel. Everyone eyed each other curiously, wondering what the heck just happened.