Author's Note: Here is my next offering to all of you. If you voted for my poll you will have recognized the summery of this one. Once this one is all posted the Post Grace one is next. It's not done yet but its far enough along that I feel like I can share it with you. I really have no idea where it came from. I have never blamed my Muse for anything but this on is all hers.
I will be posting as I get it back from my Beta AriaJack, she has helped me smooth off some of the rough edges. I would also like to thank SerenBunny for her help as well pointing out the huge plot holes I had in this fic. Also I would like to thank KEF for voting for this one and giving me the encouragement to get this one ready to post. This one is for you.
Me again: I have had this re-edited and have reposted it so no more typos. Yeah!!
Anyway on with the show.....
Carter Anderson stood at the door to a cabin near a pond in Minnesota. The owner of the cabin, General Jack O'Neill had served with Samantha Carter for eight years and from the reports she had gotten a hold of, he was there when her father died. Through Jack O'Neill, she might be able to know him, and Samantha and then she would know who she was, and where she belonged.
Lifting her hand, she knocked on the door, and waited. From inside, there were sounds of stumbling, and mutterings about,'leaving a man alone with his fish.' The door was wrenched open and a man with greying hair stood in the doorway. He didn't look too pleased to see her on his doorstep.
He glared at the young woman, "What do you want? Actually, I don't want to know." He was about to slam the door when something about her caught his attention, "Do I know you?"
The girl smiled and Jack felt a punch in the gut. Only one person he knew smiled like that, and she wasn't talking to him at the moment. "Who the hell are you?"
"Lieutenant Carter Anderson USAF, Sir." The young woman stood at attention and saluted the Two Star General, who only frowned.
"At ease. Neither of us are in uniform. Do I know you?" His brow furrowed, Sam never told him about any siblings other than Mark. So who was this girl?"
"You served with my father and my sister. My father never knew about me, I wasn't exactly legitimate." The last part was offered with a shrug, but he saw sadness in her eyes at the loss.
Gesturing with his hand he asked, "I'm assuming you mean, Jacob Carter?" He seemed to deflate and closed his eyes. This was going to hurt Sam, he wanted no part of this, but how could he turn away Sam's sister from his door?
"Yes, Sir." The girl seemed to know she was on rough ground and toned down her smile.
Running his hand through his hair, he asked, "And you're here, why?" He wasn't sure why he asked, he already knew the answer.
"I need to know all I can about them, my father and my sister. They were never part of my life. I don't think they even knew about me. I understand he's dead now. Will you tell to me about them?" She looked so lost that Jack could not refuse her.
"Yes he is. I was there with your sister at the end. He was sick and there was nothing we could do for him. Everyone did the best they could." His voice got quiet as he remembered that day. Not long after Jake died, he had thought that he and Sam had a chance to be happy and maybe they would have been. They had just gotten their feet wet when the Ori showed up, and Sam ended it not long after that.
Jack studied Carter trying to decide what to do. The pain looked real but who knew with some of these people, she could be with the Trust or some more of those rogue NID freaks. With a sigh he said, "I have to make some calls and check you out. I know some people. You said Air Force right, Lieutenant?"
"I just finished the Academy a month ago. Currently I'm finishing my second masters in mechanical engineering. I already have one in computer science. I thought they would help me when I joined Stargate Command."
His eyes narrowed, "How do you know about that?"
She shrugged, "I was offered a spot about a month ago, but I knew about it before then. There have been rumors about it for years. In the information that I was given I saw Sam's name. I decided to find out some more, but the files were classified. So I went looking. I was able to get a few mission reports that were lightly classified. That was where I found Jacob's name but that doesn't tell me about who they were. I want to know who he was, I know some things about him, but who was he just before he died?" Her voice held a plea that Jack couldn't deny.
Sighing again, he ran his fingers through his hair, causing total disarray. "No matter how much I want to, I can't just trust you. Wait out here, and I'll get back to you, one way or the other."
Understanding his caution, she agreed. "Okay, I'll just be down by the dock, call me when you're ready. If you think you can't trust me, I'll leave, but the SGC does, so you have no reason not to." Not waiting for him to close the door, she headed down to the edge of the pond.
Staring out at the water, Carter felt somewhat at home. Jon, her boyfriend, had spent some years in this part of the country and he loved it. She had never been to the Midwest, or whatever you called this part of the country, but it was beautiful. There had been a time when she'd had a chance to come out here, but circumstances changed and she never made it. That also had been before...
Carter pulled her mind from those memories. They weren't hers, not really. To her, they belonged to someone else, someone whole, who knew where they stood in the world, but that wasn't Carter Anderson. Back then, she had been someone else, or had she? It was all so confusing. Although those memories didn't seem like they were hers, they were all there, sharp and clear.
Wrapping her arms around herself as though she were cold, Carter thought, that was the whole purpose of this little trip, to find out just who Carter Anderson was. She stayed there staring out at the water pondering that question for a long time.
Putting down the phone for the last time, Jack watched the young woman standing on the dock, confused. She was so much like Sam it hurt, but she seemed so lost. That was one thing Sam Carter never was. She was always confident and knew just what she was doing, never wavering. He called her name but the girl didn't respond. Finally he yelled at her in his best CO voice. "Hey, Anderson!"
Jack's voice broke through her reverie. She snapped to attention as she turned to face him. "Yes, Sir!"
Motioning with his arms he said, "Come on in then, I guess we can talk. You seem to check out. Landry's pretty impressed by you. He says that you're allowed full disclosure."
With a wave of his arm, he allowed her to precede him into the house. The two of them sat down in the small living room. He was unable to take his eyes off this woman who was Sam, but not. Carter's hair was darker, but the eyes were the same blue.
He found himself watching her; there was something strange about this girl. He looked her up and down; she was what, eighteen, nineteen, and yet those eyes seemed so much older. They had seen pain and death, more than any child should. What had happened to this girl, she pulled at his compassion. He wanted to make her pain go away, but he had no idea how.
He waited for her to speak, but she sat there and said nothing. She was the one who had come here and he wasn't about to volunteer any information. She seemed to study him just as much as he did her. When she didn't speak, he asked her a question about herself. "Where did you grow up?"
She shrugged, "Here and there. I never really had much of a home. I'm not here to talk about me. Tell me about them, Sir."
He closed his eyes against the pain. She sounded so much like Sam and it was killing him. Jack had been an idiot and maybe Sam had too. In the end, they had hurt each other, but he still loved her more than anyone else on this and every other planet. It hurt to talk about her.
Speaking through the pain, he told Carter what she wanted to know. He talked about Sam's compassion and kindness. The ability she had to go the extra mile and then keep pushing until the job was done, like the time the Kull warrior chased her through the forest at the Alpha site. Jacob on the other hand was different. He was a great man who sacrificed himself hoping that he would create a better world for his children's children, and he had. Jack didn't go into specifics of events and who and what was there but he hoped that Carter got a good picture of both Sam and Jacob.
When he was done, both of them were silent as they digested his words. Looking over at her, he saw something and narrowed his gaze. "You want something else, what is it?
Swallowing Carter said, "I want you to introduce us. I've seen her at the Academy but I have never met her face to face."
Standing up, he strode across the room, running his hand through his hair, "No, no and no. You want to meet Car- Sam, you knock on her door and say hello. You don't need me there to hold your hand. I won't do it. Off you go, don't write or call." He held open the door for her to leave.
Stepping through it, she said, "It's not my hand I want you to hold, it's Sam's. This'll hurt her and she will need you there, Sir."
Jack had begun to close the door and paused. Thinking about her words, he saw the truth in them. Dropping his hand, he accepted that she was right, just like Sam. "All right. Come back inside and I'll call the base and get us some transportation to Colorado Springs." Turning away, he made his calls, the sooner he got rid of her the better. Something about her bothered him and he couldn't decide what.
The smile was back as she said, "Thank you, Sir."
Shrugging, he picked up the phone. "I aim to please and call me Jack. We're not in uniform." If he were honest with himself, it was the fact that her Sir sounded too much like Sam's Sir and it was creeping him out a bit.
It was about four in the afternoon when they arrived at Jack's house just outside Colorado Springs. Jack quietly moved through the house, opening windows. Picking up the phone, he asked, "Pizza or Chinese?"
Carter smiled that smile again, "Pizza, with pepperoni and bacon please." Jack dialled the number and ordered the half-and-half. The owner Louie laughed, "General you haven't ordered that in forever, are you back with your girlfriend again."
Staring at the phone after the other man hung up, Jack wondered what was going on. He looked over at Carter and watched her for a few moments. It was frightening how similar she was to Sam. Their mannerism and even the way they stood was the same. This woman was like her twin, other than their difference in age and hair color.
Needing a little space, Jack went into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. Did he want Sam back in his life so bad that he was seeing her in the woman claiming to be her sister? Laying back with a sigh, he remembered how it had all ended so abruptly.
Jack lounged on the couch watching the Simpsons with his arm around Sam Carter. He was glad to be somewhere where no one called him Sir. They were content, at least he thought so, until Sam made a strangled noise.
Standing, Sam turned to him, "I can't do this anymore. I...." she trailed off, heading to the door. Her mind was in turmoil. She was speaking, but not really to him, or maybe she was, She was so confused.
For a second he just sat there stunned by what she said, watching her take a few steps then, suddenly, he lunged forward and grabbed her arm. "What?"
Stopping she turned. "Jack I can't watch you die, not again. They all die. I won't do it to you too. I've done it too many times and I won't do it now."
He was confused, what was she talking about? He wasn't dying and he had no plans to do it any time soon. " Sam, what's wrong? I'm not in danger, not anymore. My biggest threat is a paper cut." He cupped her cheek. "Sam, you're in more danger than I am, I know that you will never fail to come home to me.
Jack could see the instant the words left his mouth he had said something wrong. She reeled back from his touch. The look on her face was as stunned as if she had just been slapped. Hard. "You wouldn't understand. You can't, they never counted on you like they did me. I have to get away, I have to think." She stammered, needing to get out of there, away from his compassion, she didn't deserve it. She had failed.
Stepping forward, he tried to touch her again but she blocked him. "Sam, don't leave. Stay, I want to understand." His eyes said more than his mouth.
Sam closed her eyes against the pain, she loved him too, she really did, but that was the problem. Those she loved died, and so, to save him, she had to leave. She had to leave before he found out the truth and ended up dead.
She looked him in the eye, "I know, that's why I'm leaving. I..." But she could not finish her words, it would be too cruel to say them now. Turning away, she almost ran to the door, opening it, she went through and did not look back.
'Sam!', Jack's mind screamed but the word never crossed his lips and she closed the door. She never knew if he said anything else as she walked out of that part of his life forever.
Jack stared at the closed door amazed at what just happened. She left, she left, kept running over and over in his mind. He had always known the day would come, just not so soon, or so out of the blue. He expected a fight or something to be the cause, not silence.
He thought they were okay, in fact he had been ready to propose. They had had a few disagreements but they had settled them or come to a compromise.
Part of him wanted to run after her and beg her to come back, but the more rational part of him knew she had seen the truth. He was an old man, who wasn't worth her time or effort.
No, he wouldn't beg, she had made her choice and he would honor it. Turning from the door, he thought, a man does have his pride after all, as he climbed into his forever empty bed.
He didn't know how long he sat there on that same bed but eventually Carter came to the door and knocked. "The pizzas here. Are you still hungry?"
Nodding his head, he followed her from the room. Heading to the kitchen, he gathered the things they needed to eat. Neither of them said anything as they ate. Both seemed to be preparing for the moment that was coming.
On the way out the door, he called Sam's house to give her a heads up. The problem was that she hung up when she heard his voice and he didn't get to.
Sighing, he motioned to the Lieutenant. "No time like the present."
Sam stared at the phone like it was a snake. Jack O'Neill. What did he want? They hadn't spoke in a long time, not about them or anything else important. Not since the day she closed that door.
Sam walked away but every rational part of her wanted to turn around and run back into Jack's arms where she belonged. She knew he wasn't going to die, he was right, she was in more danger than he was, but she wasn't being rational. Fear and terror guided her actions and that was a bad place to be.
Watching Orlin slowly slip away, then today, when she saw him, he didn't even know her. It hurt so much to know that it was because of her. She wouldn't lose someone else like that, she couldn't. The worst thing had been that she couldn't save him. No miracle solution came to mind in time to save him. She had failed and if it happened once, it could happen again, it was only a matter of time.
Her life and confidence were in turmoil. Even the anti Prior device hadn't been hers, Orlin had given them the final piece that made it work. All she wanted to do was run away and hide from everything and everyone.
Every time there was a disaster, all eyes turned to her looking for the magic answer. Eventually she would fail, and she didn't want to see the disappointment on Jack's face when that happened. It was better this way, to end it now before he learned she wasn't perfect.
Pulling away from Jack's house, the only place where she felt safe, she drove up to the mountain and buried herself in her work, hoping that she would be ready when they needed the next miracle.
That had been the end of Sam and Jack. It was over before it had started. It was so stupid, but she never had the courage to try again. Daniel insisted that all she had to do was tell him that she loved him and wanted to try again. It couldn't be that simple. Things in her life never were.
She had stabbed him through the heart and left him to bleed. And she had no idea how to heal the wound between them. There was a part of her that wanted him in her life and by her side, but the larger, more terrified part of her, kept him at a distance. He cradled her heart in his hands and he had the ability to crush it like a tin can and walk away. She thought she could handle giving him that power but she had been wrong.
All those feelings were boiling in her mind and heart, so she just stayed away, hoping that someday she could stop loving Jack O'Neill.
Twenty minutes later, they pulled up in front of Sam's house. Slowly, he walked up to the door and rang the bell. Jack motioned for Carter to stay out of sight.
Sam opened the door to answer the knock; her first instinct was to slam the door in his face. She didn't want to get into this, not now, not today, maybe never.
Lifting his hand, he stopped her, "I have someone you're gonna wanna see. Samantha, meet Carter, your sister."
Looking past Jack, she saw Carter looking nervous and Sam smiled, "I wondered when we would meet."
Shocked, Jack rubbed his hand through his hair, "You knew about her?"
"Yes, I've known about her for a while." She shrugged, and allowed them to enter. She didn't have to explain herself to anyone, especially him. To Carter, she said, "I heard about the SGC. Congratulations."
Jack ignored Sam's comment and continued to rant, "You never tried to find her? Talk to her?" He could not keep the amazement out of his voice, or the confusion.
"I didn't need to, I knew where she was. I wanted her to have her own life without my influence. I wanted her to be Carter, not Sam Carter."
Hearing her words, something clicked in his brain. He looked from Sam to Carter to a picture of Sam and her dad on the mantel. She was about the same age as Carter. Looking at the two woman and the picture, he saw it, and understood everything.
Jack grabbed her arm, pulling her into the kitchen. "What the hell did you do? Who is that girl?" His voice was angry and hurt, but he had no idea why.
Well there it is. See you next time. Let me know if you liked it or hated it and you just might make me smile.