Hello, fellow fanfic readers and/or writers.
Though I am currently unable to find time to put in another chapter to a Treasure Planet fanfic called "Sick As A Cat", which should tell you which character is suffering from said sickness in that story, I do have time to rewrite a scene in the X-cellent(HA!)X-Men movie from 2000, and I do so now.
You see, although Halle Berry did an X-cellent(oh my God, just listen to me, I must be more prone to puns than even I knew, and that's saying something)job portraying Storm in that movie, being brave, beautiful, powerful, adept and smart like the one in the comics and everything, there was one hell of a big problem concerning her part as Storm in the movie.
And it's this.
That line she said just before she killed Toad via electrocution blasting, hurling into the water and drowning combined(if you've seen the X-Men movie, you know what line I'm talking about)was BY FAR her worst line and one of the most godawful one-liners, prior to killing a foe or otherwise, that I've ever had the misfortune to experience, and I wouldn't be surprised if Halle Berry secretly felt insulted to have to have been given that line.
Really, Bryan Singer, it was an awesome movie and all, but COME ON!
Surely you could have given her a better thing to say when she was about to kill Toad than THAT!
Well, I'm rewriting that scene, albeit only a small amount thanks to it just being in terms of that horrendous remark Storm made before she got rid of Toad and replacing it with, at least what I think, anyway, is a much better statement from her to be followed by annihilating Toad.
I'm hoping what I'm going for here will have the desired result for everyone who cringed at that line that was most likely an insult not JUST to Halle Berry, but to the character of Storm, movie version or otherwise, as well.
We'll see how I do.
THINGS TO NOTE:
I do not own anything about the X-Men movie, as it all belongs to its director, the aforementioned Bryan Singer, and all other producers that created it, the scene I'm obviously going to be showing you with what I believe will be a good modification or otherwise.
I would like you to tell me how successful I was in giving Storm a better one-liner than the original after you've read this, please.
What Storm Should Have Said
During the fight in the Statue Of Liberty between the X-Men members Wolverine, Jean Grey, Cyclops and Storm and the Brotherhood members Mystique and Toad(which was taking place because of how the four X-Men had come to rescue Rogue, who had been captured by Magneto for his artificial mutation machine use plan and sent the two Brotherhood members in question to deal with the X-Men while having his third member, Sabretooth, stay with him to be his protector after he weakened himself via giving his powers to Rogue for the job he meant to give her against her will), here's what had happened.
Mystique had been dealing a serious beating to Wolverine, while Toad had dealt a lot of harm to the other three, not the least of which was kicking Storm into an elevator and causing her to both hit the back wall and fall down from a great height(easily a great enough one for her to be killed by falling from it), spit slime onto Jean's nose and mouth and thus make it so that, if it wasn't gotten off of her soon, she would suffocate, and, before doing either of those things, punt Cyclops into another room so that he hit, and smashed, a museum exhibit along with hitting the wall that it was put up against, subsequently using his tongue to close the door to the room, effectively shutting Cyclops in.
Shortly after the other two ones of the worst things Toad did(though he had dealt plenty of other successful attacks to his foes that were comparably bad, as well, mind you), when Cyclops used his optic blast powers to blow the door off from its hinges and saw that Jean was struggling as the slime continued to make her unable to breathe, he first tried to get it off with his hands, but he couldn't, so he decided to use the aforementioned optic blasts to get rid of it, instead.
"Don't move." Cyclops said to a tense, frightened and agonized(the third one from lack of air, of course)Jean, who complied and so enabled Cyclops to blast the slime on the breathing passage regions of her face into pieces, allowing her to take in air again and thus stay alive.
Toad, who, from the floor above where this was happening, noticed it, but said floor was also where the elevator that he had kicked Storm into and(seemingly)killed her by so doing was, and though he predictably thought he had indeed ended her life, he was proven dead wrong when, just before he was about to attack his two unexpecting and in perfect range targets from above, he heard the unmistakable sound of an elevator ring, and was both surprised and confused.
So he looked and listened to find out exactly what the hell was going on here…and, as he learned when he saw lightning aplenty and heard loud blowing wind, Storm had flown back up from the floor which she hit after Toad kicked her into the elevator, still very much alive and clearly having regained consciousness from being understandably knocked out from Toad's attack and what it led to, which was obvious the instant that the elevator doors opened thanks to her powers(Toad had taken away the metal pole which was holding them open after he did his dirtiest deed as far as things concerning Storm were concerned and let them close).
Toad was shocked when he saw this, and he jumped on over from the railing he'd been standing on during the time he was thinking up a way to unleash another attack on his(in their position)very easy prey(after all, Cyclops had just barely managed to save Jean and was now holding her head as the latter coughed profusely)as so to walk towards his almost-victim.
"Don't you people ever die?!" he shouted furiously, unable to believe that anyone could survive what he did to Storm, but now it was payback time for the weather-manipulating mutant, as evidenced by the fact that she was now using her unbelievably powerful wind attacks to blow numerous objects Toad's way(read: onto Toad in a way that pummeled him badly)and also blow and batter him so that he went towards a nearby pair of doors as he let out a cry of pain from what she was doing to him.
He was then hit by a powerful blast of wind that sent him flying and smashing out of the aforementioned set of two doors from Storm who, while unleashing it, was in a position where she stood up straight and her arms and the hands thereon were outstretched horizontally to opposite sides, with a look on her face that clearly said: "Not so cocky now, are you, tough guy?"
Letting out a cry of both pain and fright, instead of just the former, this time, and indeed frightened for the first time in either his life or in a long, long time, Toad quickly used his tongue to get a hold of a metal pole he saw and, after shooting it out and making sure that it was wrapped around said pole tight enough so that he wouldn't get blown away, he hung on for dear life, and things were not looking good for him at all, especially after Storm walked out through the huge opening she had made in blasting open those doors while using her lightning powers to blast them further open and cause two pairs of doors on opposite sides of her to be blasted open, as well.
Looking at his nemesis as she stood directly in front of him and did not cease to create lightning or stop generating wind, and knowing that there was no way in hell that she was going to show him any mercy after what he did to both her and her teammates, which caused him to be further terrified, he would then hear her say the last two sentences that he would ever hear from anyone, her or otherwise(kind of like his astounded and enraged question to Storm of whether or not she and/or any of the other X-Men ever died would turn out to be his last words, as he'd soon learn the VERY hard way, indeed).
"When you kicked me down that elevator, Toad, you also, true to cocky and self-assured form, simply assumed that it was certain that I couldn't possibly have survived, so you didn't bother going down to check for a pulse, which would have made you learn that I was unconscious instead of dead."
After she said this to him, she looked up to the sky and made sure of it that further lightning showed itself, right before she looked down to face him again and said: "Not only was that a very foolish thing to do along with the worst mistake you've ever made, but, as it will now prove to be your undoing, it is the last one that you will ever make, as well."
Knowing only too well now what Storm clearly meant to do, Toad thought to himself: "Don't." but she did it…she brought down one hell of a huge and powerful bolt of lightning, which would prove fatal to Toad, as it made its way across the pole he was clinging to with his tongue, then onto the tongue itself and, finally, all over Toad's entire body.
"GGGGGGLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Toad screamed as the streak of lightning, in so doing all that it did, caused him to go flying off of the pole that he was previously holding onto with his tongue, and even when electricity was no longer engulfing him, he kept flying until he hit the water, in which he drowned after a giant splash was made and heard, and while said drowning sequence was commencing, Storm took one quick, satisfied look and thought to herself: "So much for him."
She then turned around and walked back into the Statue Of Liberty to reunite with her teammates, and though the mission that she was on along with them was far from over, she had certainly struck a giant blow, both metaphorically and literally, against the Brotherhood.
THE END(at least of this particular scene and the hopefully improved version thereof, anyway)
So, how well did I do?
Did this have the desired effect?
Please tell me in your ratings and reviews.