Challenge: Prison Fic
Title: Emotionless
Author: Lele
Rating: R to NC-17

Summary: I give nothing away.

Dedications: To Gina, and the prizes lol.

Disclaimers: Oh the things I'd do if I owned them.

AN: So I agreed to do this challenge fic and until I am done Leave Out All The Rest will be on hiatus. Also until I am done this fic I am not going to read any of the PF fics out there. I am really trying to be as original as possible so I don't want to look at someone else's and think I can't do something because some looks like they are doing it. Also I saw a lot of the names that have entered so far and I don't want to feel like mine won't match up to the amazing talent that is out there. Beyond that I wish everyone GOOD LUCK!!!

Emotionless

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Never break. Nine months and you've yet to shed a tear. If they think this is torture, being alone, surrounded by concrete walls then I'll never leave. Outside of these walls; that's where the real torture begins.

"Get up Lehane, it's time for your walk." Even if I wasn't in "the hole" Anderson would still talk to me like a dog. She treats all the prisoners as though we're animals that need to be put down. First time she gave me lip like this I told her she was just an angry bitch that needed to be fucked. They say being put in solitary confinement in the first hour of the first day is a record; I say the bitch still needs to be fucked.

"So Lehane, did you hear the good news? You go back to your cell tonight. What, you got nothing to say?" Stupid bitch, she knows I can't speak. No people. No talking. Those are the rules of the hole. If you don't lose your mind then you're one of the lucky few.

When Anderson opens the steel door to the outside my eyes are burnt by the light. I love the sun. Daylight is a safe time. The only thing I truly hate is that when you're sentenced to solitary confinement you don't get to be outside like the others. Instead my one hour of fresh air is in a cage. I guess if I ever get out of here I'll have no problem working in a cubicle, I've gotten so use to small spaces.

Normally during my outside time I move around and breathe in the fresh air but today I can't. Tonight I go back. I'm not ready to go back. In the "hole" I'm safe. In here I can focus on why I'm here, on the person I was that lead me to this place. This aloneness, whatever it's called, is what Angel told me I needed and he was right.

When I'm by myself I get it but when I go back I won't be alone anymore. Beyond the hole is where the bad people are. Buffy said I belong with them that I had to pay. If she really saw me as one of them then I'm terrified that there is no redemption for me. We may have made the same mistakes, the same crimes, but doesn't mean were the same people. Doesn't it though?

Shit. Out there fucks me up. I haven't even left my sanctuary yet and I'm already letting them break me. Fuck it though. I will do my time and when I get out of here I'll shove my redemption right in queen B's face.

"Alright Lehane, you've had your fun now come here." When I go over to Anderson she puts the cuffs back on, a lot tighter than would be necessary if I wasn't a slayer but she doesn't need to know it doesn't hurt. I'll let the bitch have her fun. As we get closer to my holding area Anderson pulls me down a different hallway and her pushiness is really starting to piss me off.

"I told you Lehane, you're going back to your cell. You need to listen when I speak to you." I fucking hate her and her stupid smirk, she said tonight not now.

"Hey Gina, " Another guard, Hendrix, says to Anderson. "What are you doing with Lehane?" Hendrix is okay or as okay as a guard could be to a prisoner.

"I'm taking her back to her cell." Bitch face says annoyed that we got stopped.

"Sorry girl, but Lehane isn't scheduled to leave until tonight. Since your shift it over in five I'll just take her back to the holding area." When Hendrix goes toward me Anderson pulls me a little closer to her and I fight the urge to throw up in my mouth.

"I know she's scheduled for tonight but I thought after nine months of being down here she'd be dying to go back. Plus it will give her time to get to know her new cellmate." I figured after breaking the nose of my last cellmate I'd get a new person but I don't get why Anderson seems so excited.

"Sorry Gina, but since I'll be the one to get shit for letting her go back early I can't let you take her." I doubted Hendrix would get into trouble for me going back a few hours early but she was a decent person, sort of, and even though I have no idea what game bitch face it playing I bet she does.

"Fine," Bitch face says and pushes me into Hendrix. "You deal with her. I'm done for the day anyway." Glaring in my direction one more time she turns and leaves. Normally her pushing me like that would make me want to break her face but seeing her not get her way is just a little peace of sun shine in my shit-tastic day.

"Pleasant isn't she?" Hendrix's laughs in my direction but all I do is nod. As cool as she just was I doubt we're all buddy buddy now. "Listen Lehane, I'm not your biggest fan but let me give you a piece of advice. If you ever want out of this place you need to stop letting Anderson trap you. Everyone knows if she wasn't pushing you all day then you wouldn't have snapped and broke Jackson's nose."

"Then how come I was put in the fucking hole for nine fucking months." Even though I prefer the hole to being are those bitches they still see it as punishing me and it pisses me off.

"Well you did hit Jackson and Anderson wasn't even on duty at the time of the incident. Plus your record from your first year here isn't the best. Anything you do is going to come back at you hard. It sucks but until you get more people on your side that's just the way it's going to be. Such is life." The way she talked, and her body language almost made me believe she was on my side, but in here I've learned no one ever really has your back.

"So what are we like buddies now?" Even if I can't trust her, the least I can do if she is going to be nice is be behaved around her. Plus she is kind of cute.

"I don't know if I'd go that far. I just think you have enough to worry about so you may as well know at least one person doesn't have it out for you." When she put me back in my holding area to wait for my final hours here I kept rethinking her words. How does she know what I have to worry about? Why does she care about me getting out of here or any of that shit?

Every since I got to this shit hole it's be exactly like life was on the outside. No one gives a damn about you until they need something. The good guys treat you like an animal because they think they're better than you and the people, I use that term loosely, that are nice to you are really just evil fucks that want something. I knew Anderson's game, she is just an angry bitch, but I don't get Hendrix. Why the sudden change of heart?

When I assume my time had passed my door opened and there stood Hendrix, my guard/friend in rusty fucking armor. "Alright Lehane, it's time for you to sign out and head back up to your cell." When we got to hell's gate, the metal door that separates the hole from the rest of the prison I saw another guard waiting for us. I assumed he was going to take me back but Hendrix signed me out and waved by at him as though they were the best of friends. As soon as we turned down a different hall and were out of site I could fell Hendrix tense up.

"Did Anderson say anything about your new cellmate?" She asked in a nervous tone.

"No, "I said in confusion "I didn't know anything until she talked to you in front of me."

"Listen Lehane, I know why Anderson wanted you up there early. You're new cellmate is pretty hardcore. She came here about a few months ago. She doesn't talk, at all. The last time someone tried to make her talk they ended up in the med unit for a couple of days." Damn, fucking Anderson.

"Damn, I guess no one told her I hold the record for quickest sentence to the hole." I tried to make a joke of my newest situation but the last thing I needed was someone who was going to cause me problems and add more black marks to my record.

"She never got sent to the hole." What the fuck. "No one saw it happen, including the girl it happened to. One minute there was a group was surrounding the girl and the next thing she was pretty far from them and Millar was knocked out of the floor bleeding pretty bad. We can't punish something no one saw."

"Millar?" Millar was as bad as it got in this joint. If she doesn't own you then you're an enemy. The only reason she left me alone is because I keep to myself and I let her know early on I wouldn't take anyone's crap but I did so privately, this was public. "Fucking hell, I'm rooming with a psycho so has a target on her back."

"Basically." Hendrix said. "You can only imagine the joy Anderson feels over this. Most of us guards know you stay to yourself around all of these groups but now you in the middle."

"Fuck that. I'll stay out of her way and that should make them leave me the hell alone." Hendrix knew as well as I did how close to impossible that is but at least she had the decency to not say anything. "So what's she in for?" I may as well know what I am getting into.

"Assaulting a police office, resisting arrest, endangering a minor, and second degree murder." Fuck, she sounds worse than me. The walk to my cell was pretty quiet and considering it was lights out I wasn't surprised. When they bring prisoners back from the hole they try to do it when few people are up and about so there is the least amounts of trouble. As we got closer to my cage I knew deep down this would be my real challenge. If I could keep my hands clean with the mess I am walking into then I'm sure I'll have earned my redemption.

As the cell doors open and I walk in I see my new roomy sitting on the floor staring directly at me. "Good luck Lehane." Hendrix says as she shuts and locks the cell door and walks away.

"Sup?" I say in as neutral tone as possible. As badass as she was made out to be I see her tense the minute I speak but it goes away just as quickly as it appears. With no words spoke Ms. Silent and Deadly stands and moves toward the bunk beds. As she walks by the window the moon light shines over her face and my breathe is caught in my throat.

"B?"