Author's Note: Lyrics from Keith Urban's song, 'Tonight I Wanna Cry'.
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the tv on, the sound turned down
And a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you
Her face held no expression at first, and she stared blankly around the room. Everything she saw reminded her of him; everything she was reminded of her him. Any random watcher would say simply that she sat stiffly, there was nothing in her demeanour to suggest that tonight the world had ended for her. They'd take in the photographs on the wall depicting a kindly old man and this self-same stern matron and perhaps find them an odd couple, and they might take in the pensieve upon the desk or the glowing bird in the corner of the room, but those who didn't know better might think that Albus Dumbedore was simply vacationing without his wife.
One hand steadily stroking Fawkes, Minerva closed her eyes in vain hopes of escape. All that she saw was his body, unmarked and still, and her eyes shot open again. She trembled slightly as she refilled her glass from the bottle of Elderflower Wine.
Would it help if I turned a sad song on?
All by myself would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hiding this way
Abruptly, Minerva flicked a hand in the direction of her radio and turned to survey the photographs on her wall. As the sad strains of the Weird Sisters' hit "Magic My Heart Away" played, she watched as her husband entwined his arms around her waist, saw again the day they married; the sky so blue it seemed that Albus must have had it bewitched for her. Her eyes drank in the sight of her beloved and her hands sought the precious parchments within the drawers of her desk. Though she'd had no reason to peruse them in the 15 years since they were sent, she knew exactly where they were. Tearing her eyes from the scenes of joy that she'd once lived, Minerva refilled her wine glass from the now almost empty bottle and let her eyes skim his writing. Phrases like "my dearest" and "yours always" tore at her heart and she drained the remainder of the wine in a single gulp.
'Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I'm gonna cry
It wasn't enough; her eyes burned... blurred. Alcohol slowed reflexes weren't quick enough to move Albus' letters out of the way and the tears that fell smudged the ink. She stifled herself at first, afraid to truly give in to her loss; but the pain was too great and the wine had broken the barriers that kept her control, kept her strength.
By the time Hagrid found her she was sobbing fit to burst.
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
Later she'd blame the wine, but she'd always know in her heart that the truth was far more simple; she missed him already. She always would.
Tonight I wanna cry