A Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events
(that may be called Drabbles)
1: Jaune's Party and Yang's Ass (it'll make sense, don't worry)
Greetings ladies and gentlemen of the RWBY fanfiction community! I thank you personally for clicking on this story.
Well, it's not actually a story. Sort of. It's a Series Of Loosely Interconnected Events! (Ha! Ha! Geddit?) That may be called Drabbles.
Most of these are one-shots, depicting their own scenarios – but the general storyline of it will play out via connecting these stories. Sort of. Some of these are just straight out non-canon to this story, considering this is more a place to dump those pesky ideas that fall out of my head a lot. I should really see a Doctor about that.
Some of these ideas I flatout admit I plan on using them. Others I just felt like I wanted to write. Some stuff that I write is more because I wanted to make a particular scenario than having an express interest in the whole story, which I'm aware is wrong, and it's why I have yet to release anything spectacular. Or at all… *blushes awkwardly*
Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, as they say – keep calm and ship like a horde of raving fanboys.
Author's SIDE-Note: It should be said that some of these will be more emotional than others. That said, tally ho!
"So what you're saying-"
"-Is that we-"
"-are gonna have-"
"-A PARTY!?"
Ozpin visibly flinched. "Yes, yes. I know you're excited. I felt it was proper form to let the heroes with less of a spotlight organize the celebration as well as celebrate it." He adjusted his glasses and impaled Jaune with a glance.
"Stay within the budget, advocate against any unseemly activities, and make sure it runs smoothly. If I have to douse a student with my personal fire extinguisher-" he gestured vaguely to a red cylinder worn from a surprising amount of use, kept out of its glass casing because let's be honest "-that has combusted from too much 'Flambé Punch' like last semester when I let team RWBY organize it… well. It was not I that paid for the burned down building."
"Good times," Nora giggled nostalgically, and Ren just sighed.
"I believe you'll find, Mrs Valkyrie, that my buildings will be significantly harder to burn if the party is shut down if I see so much as a ember."
"Awww~," she sounded genuinely disappointed, too, Ren comforting her with a silent, warm hand that she snuggled into not unlike a puppy.
"We won't let you down," Pyrrha cut in, wishing to stave off further conversation between the man in charge of their education and a girl that drank sugar like water. Jaune's nod of agreement was almost reflexive, very much used to delegating tact and thinking stuff to his second in command. That was also stronger, prettier, regal, more experienced… wait, why was he team leader again?
He paused in thought. Nodded. Because Ruby said so, right.
Pyrrha had a vague expression of interest that vanished when Jaune looked her way. Nora had a grin that said she was a cat and a very tempting ball of yarn was put in front of her, but ever the killjoy, Ren shook his head and mouthed 'no'.
No messing with the love lives' of the beauty and the blind, Nora he projected with a single glance honed and perfected by years of staring. The most hyperactive of team JNPR (and what was that anyway? Like the name of Jupiter's younger sister?) reluctantly scrunched her lips, cheeks puffed in obvious, adorable disgruntlement.
Ren wondered if the act was just reflex by now, or if she purposefully made herself look like that.
Ozpin, having now had his patience tried beyond its limits, abruptly pierced Jaune with a look, the team leader twitched into a paralysis, like a deer in headlights.
"If I may interject, I would please ask that you all leave. You have a lot of work to do."
JNPR nodded as one and left, Ozpin finally being given time to think-
As if on cue, the moment the professor pressed his temples, a student came screaming into his office – why does it have to be screaming, can't they be in pain but be silent about it for once – wreathed in flame, and stopped and rolled.
He didn't even ask why the student was on fire this time, simply grabbing the fire extinguisher lethargically in a single hand and letting it spray, sighing as the student stopped burning to death.
Who thought it was a good idea to give teenagers custom-made military equipment?
"Thank the guy that decided to give teenagers custom-made military equipment!"
"YANG! YANG! CAN YOU STOP MAKING THE SKY EXPLODE? WEISS IS TRYING TO SLEEP!"
"But it's only 10pm-"
"-4 AM!"
"-4 am, and I have to be prepared for the party… what day was it on again?"
"TWO DAYS FROM NOW! OR TOMORROW, WHATEVER!"
"That doesn't give me much time to prepare, so I should just be practicing non-stop, right?!"
Ruby actually gave it a moment of thought when Blake shouted "no!"
"NO!"
"Well whatever then, I just go practice my fireworks display elsewhere, maybe make it indoors!"
"THAT WOULD BE NICE! THANKS, YANG!"
Yang left, grumbling something about unappreciative teammates. Ruby slumped back from the window, giving a short, squeaky "fwew."
"IS SHE GONE OR DO I HAVE TO GO DOWN THERE AND-"
Weiss appeared in a hellstorm of ice and snow and rage. Ruby jumped forward, selflessly sacrificing herself for her cat-eared teammate, taking the brunt of the wrath.
"Easy, easy! Yang is gone – she's going to practice elsewhere. Indoors, I think."
Blake stared at Ruby incredulously. "Fireworks? Indoors?"
The leader of team RWBY made a soft, subtle "oh" of understanding, and then ran after Yang because something very very bad was about to happen.
Blake followed suit.
Nora knocked on the covered wall. It made no sound.
"Wow, fireproof, really?"
"Just in case," Jaune replied, eyeing the eventual party room covered in fireproof tarp. He felt that the only way he couldn't possibly mess this up was solely if he went to the complete extreme, hence the tarp.
As Party leader, a pun-y name bestowed by no less than Ren and Pyrrha, he'd, ahem, 'hired' (just thinking about the forced labour made him strangely giddy) several students to work like slaves until the entire room was covered in tarp. The good parts was when he mentioned that they wouldn't getting ladders, as they were outside the budget and yes, that still means you have to cover the ceiling.
He was completely certain Cardin was dreaming of his grisly demise in the infirmary, after taking a particularly nasty fall ("what? The idiot must've fallen off the ladder!") but it was so, so worth it.
Though he'd be lying if he didn't say the power trip was also pretty good.
He cackled loud and ominously, and his myriad of slaves and friends – but mostly slaves – continued on, as though not hearing him. It was after all the 12th time today he'd upended their ears with demonic laughter.
It was pretty freaking fantastic, actually.
And then the doors exploded.
With a cackle that matched his own, a volley of fireballs blasted through the dust and smoke, an ominous silhouette morphing into a humanoid character as it walked through.
"LET'S LIGHT THE FUSE, BITCHES!"
In the distance, the indoor fireworks display routinely bellowed smoke and fire from the open door.
"I think she's mad," Blake noted dryly, taking in the high plumes of Yang's wrath.
"Yang doesn't get offended easily. She does get angry though…" Ruby intoned, bounding alongside Blake.
"Whatever," Weiss hissed, hissed, like a pearlescent snake. "If Yang wants to throw a tantrum, she can do it on her own time. I'm trying to sleep."
"While running in the middle of the night?" Blake quipped.
"Keep talking kitty. See what happens."
"OH GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE!?"
"AAAHHHHH I CAN TASTE MY OWN MELTING FLESH IN MY MOUTH!"
"WHO'S ARMS IS THIS OH GOD STEVE!"
"SOMETHING'S GIVING ME THE BAD TOUCH AND IT'S NOT THE FIRE!"
"SORRY!"
"STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!"
Jaune could only watch his rather small kingdom burn, the cacophony of screams and explosions haunting him, drowning out his own breathing.
One of his slaves – his favourite, he called him Stupid Face – had succumb to the panic and was hyperventilating in the fetal position over in the corner, his jagged, labored breathe the sure sign of a breakdown.
Ren had started crying, and even Nora was shocked into silence, sitting mutely beside him. The room had become an utter warzone, minus the dead people and injuries.
Pyrrha, bless his stronger, smarter, more accomplished – why was he team leader again? – second in command, was trying to douse the flames. She'd even organized a team of slaves to do it, and once assured that they could carry on themselves, went after the source.
Yang had taken to standing on a table of flames, her ammo seemingly infinite as she lobbed more and more fireballs indiscriminately at the building. She didn't even try to move when Pyrrha came down on her, slashing and stabbing. The human firebomber promptly spun on her heel and-
"YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!" Shouted one of the more rebellious slaves.
Pyrrha's flaming body crashed against one of the few walls covered in tarp. The tarp burst into flames.
Fireproof my ass.
Granted, he might be being too harsh on it – nowhere on the packaging did it say 'capable of withstanding Yang'.
Speaking of which, the literally emblazoned blonde had almost finished charging a fireball that would've levelled the building when a blur dashed through the fire and the smoke and whammed her.
"I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP, YOU CRAZY BITCH!"
Weiss emerged from the blur looking like someone had smeared misery all over her face and she was not happy about it. At all.
Ruby appeared a moment later and saw Yang's face in the table, and her ass in the air. She blushed profusely and suggested "I think we should just get out of here."
"I concur." And then there was Blake, because obviously Blake was always there. Yang's butt twitched reflexively, and Ruby tried very hard not to think about what that meant.
"Just grab her by the ass or something – I don't care." Weiss muttered darkly, only the sweet temptation of revenge and utter hatred keeping her conscious now.
Blake volunteered for the duty, and Ruby tried very hard not to look as Blake grasped a fistful of gluteus maximus and pulled, (why can't we just grab her by the legs?) Yang's hair dragging like a mop. Ruby eventually volunteered as well, but moved her hand like the curvy ass was pure acid.
And then she was holding it, and it wasn't that bad, actually, very full-feeling and firm – Ruby turned completely red, head to toes. Feeling up her sister's ass was the thought that elbow-dropped the camel's back, shattering it in half, and Ruby decided she'd had enough of this weird night. The thought was abandoned like a hot stove and she went to work with Blake, tense and blushing, the faunus giving Yang's sister a strange glance. This became the third thing she tried very hard not to think about.
The entrance abruptly slammed closed, and Jaune was cackling.
"HAHAHAHA!" And holy mother of dust did he sound like he actually was evil, "YOU FOOLS! FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS AGAINST MY KINGDOM, I, JAUNE ARC OF THE HOLY KINGDOM OF JAUNELAND, SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH!" The previously cowering horde of slaves (when did they heal? And where's Jaune's team?) rallied together around team RWBY, some of them rather openly looking at Yang's ass like starved men at prime steak. Ruby wanted to – to – to cover it up and hide it like some sort of dirty secret, the lecherous perverts staring at something so firm and full and delicious and they would not get it because that is mine-
Ruby fumbled as she tried to draw crescent rose, caught off guard by her own thoughts. Where did that come from…?
"MY MINIONS, MY LOYAL SERVANTS IN SERVITUDE! KILL THEM, BUT LEAVE THE HEADS! I WANT TROPHIES!"
Okay seriously now what the fu-
"ATTACK!"
Team RWBY, minus Yang, whose butt just twitched again as though attempting to relay a message – a taunt knowing Yang – and braced themselves for an onslaught.
Blake drew her blades, glinting mercilessly like fangs. Weiss readied her rapier and struck a perfectly balanced pose. Ruby loaded Cresecent Rose and aimed. And Yang's ass twitched once again, much to delight of most of their attackers, aggressive and ready to fight.
The slaves descended simultaneously, time almost seeming to slow as the epic battle began to unfurl, team RWBY shouting and attacking in unison-
Ozpin burst into the hall, the doors almost leaving their hinges, and boy did he look pissed.
He looked to the fire burning the fireproof tarps, Jaune sitting atop a throne of other students, all sweating and obviously uncomfortable from being his seat. He looked to the dozens of students about to maul team RWBY, while the aforementioned 'King' watched and cackled.
The attack stopped mid-motion, the horde suddenly finding themselves vary awkward and with much better places to be. They vanished, like a swarm of rats, diverging around and avoiding Ozpin as they made their escape. He made no move to stop them.
"Jaune," in the headmaster's eyes, hellfire returned to the party room as something not quite human emerged from Ozpin's shadow and closed the door. There would be escape for him. "What, exactly, are you doing?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh-" Jaune's throne abruptly vanished and scrambled out through the windows. There were on the 4th floor.
"Well?"
"I uhhhh-"
And then Ozpin's eyes were black and in front of Jaune and thousands of thin, creeping tendrils grabbed Jaune and pulled him kicking and screaming out of the building, disappearing with a high-pitched outcry of "HEEEELP MEEEEE!" The doors slammed shut, and Jaune's fate was denoted by a chillingly loud echo from outside. Which continued until he must have been gagged by something they didn't want to know about.
The team was almost sorry for Jaune. Very, very almost.
Yang's butt twitched in feigned pity, butt it came out as more sarcastic than intended.
Ruby began wondering if Ozpin was a sadist or just wanted to see what would happen when he left Yang's ass up and in groping distance, now in his office.
Blake explained the events, because if Weiss did it she'd make it sound like Yang committed genocide by existing, and if Ruby did it she'd be kept floundering and staring. Not staring at Ozpin, that is.
As for Yang, they could attempt it, but Ruby wasn't sure how well-versed the headmaster was in the language of tasty, tasty butt wiggles and twitches.
Speaking of such things, it was only Ruby's continued, ahem, scientifically platonic interest that let her notice one thing about that ass; it actually was communicating.
Subtle twitches and flexes denoted words. Squeezing and stretching denoted laughter, as completely disturbing as it was to watch. Ruby had a working theory that Yang's subconscious resided in that ass, and was taking temporary control of her muscles. It did not seem to have direct control over her bones, as it couldn't make her walk – the absurd mental image of Yang's lower half moving ass-first with her upper torso folded and trailing like a cape made her smile and suppress a giggle.
Oh, she was a bad person.
"…In conclusion, the events of tonight can be summarized as this; Yang was overexcited, kept shooting off loads-" Ruby almost guffawed but no one else seemed to notice her or how that sounded "-and eventually stormed off to go release-" oh come on Blake you did that on purpose "-at the area the party was being prepared at. Jaune had turned the students he'd hired into interns – excuse me slaves, and had deemed the area as 'Jauneland', his kingdom, which he attempted to have us decapitated and our heads mounted for attacking." It actually sounded pretty weird when it was laid out like that.
The butt gave a twitch Ruby was 67.936% sure meant it agreed, and she stared with wide eyes as she wondered.
The butt responded with a 'yes, I can' twitch.
Yang's ass can read my mind. She pinched herself. How did this become my life?
"I thank you for sharing your side of the story," Ozpin responded, and the butt gave a "thank you, you're welcome" twitch with a strange air of politeness.
Ruby decided she might want to see a doctor.
The butt slyly said "baby, I can be all the medicine you can ever need."
Ruby almost threw up in her mouth, but held it in and excused herself as her team was dismissed.
She put as much distance as possible between her and her team, receiving some strange looks and a "you can't escape, my little red!" from Yang's ass.
The butt's threat proved true. By the time she reached the toilets, it was waiting for her.
"You can't escape me, my little red."
She turned and ran the other way, semblance engaged as her breathing and heart rate accelerated. It beat like the hooves of a fleeing deer.
The monster in form fitting black leather was at the stairwell, Yang's brilliant blond tresses cascading over the stairs as it wiggled up them.
"You can't escape me, my little red."
She turned again and jumped from the window, desperation closing in, hooves beating faster and faster in her ears-
She engaged Crescent rose and fired again and again, ringing like church bells as something dreadful and terrifying loomed near, wreathed in black and-
"You can't escape me, my little red."
She could only see it because of the moon. It floated deftly, hovering almost, directly above her, contrasting heavily against the stark white.
Poised to strike.
The sharp axe kick was definitely not in Yang's style of fist attacks, but the ass somehow knew the move perfectly. The muscles on it flexed and the leg rocketed down, forcing the air of Ruby's lungs and giving her a sudden hammer-force of speed towards the ground.
Crescent Rose tumbled out of her grasp, and she was incapable of slowing, the ground looming closer and closer. But the ass wasn't finished, wrapping it's cheeks around Ruby's throat as she fell, trying to scream but also trying to breath as the wind suddenly stopped and-
Ruby woke up screaming.
Covers tossed over and sweat clinging uncomfortably to her head, she breathed, gasping as the memories of the firm ass-muscles choking her returned.
She… but the… ass… what?
And then like most dreams, it promptly drained away, leaking from her short term memories like water down a sink. She vaguely recalled black leather, but could no longer place the words.
She looked to her team's dorm room, watching the clock tick in its eternal rhythm – tick, tock, tick, tock – and the peaceful breathing of her team members.
Ruby let herself relax, tension fading just like her dream. Every nightmare was a dream in the end… right?
Two leathery cheeks clenched tightly around the back of her neck. She felt the words, as the muscles moved in tandem.
"You can't escape me, my little red."
And twisted.
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So how about that ending huh? Stick around! I promise there won't be any more creepypasta parodies.
SHI-EDIT (First Edit): Also, review today, or Yang's leathery ass cheek's will haunt your dreams, and not in a good way you ero-baka!
BAN-EDIT (Final Edit): You may begin drawing Fanart of Yang's leathery ass please.