A/N: Basically don't read this if a story about Dementia is likely to affect you. The song is I Miss Her by Jessie J and I hope this is okay

Beth xx

It's not fair
I'm talking to you upstairs
Are you there?
You know I care
So please don't tell me that this is an empty prayer
Oh no

I never saw this happening to her, I always saw her as a strong woman who was always completely there but although she's physically here I'm not sure she's mentally here. I couldn't cope with her being in the care home anymore and instead I gave up work to look after her. After all we've been through I couldn't have her forget who I was, she's upstairs in her bed and although I'm talking she looks like she's staring straight through me and it hurts that it's like this. I really do care, I always did because after all she's my mother and I love her and more than anything right now I need her to be okay.

'Cause all she has and she's lost
I wish she could remember
I watch it fade and slip away
It's hurting more than ever

I try to talk about the good times we had, to prevent any bad memories ruining things but she's looking at me cluelessly as if I'm telling her about someone else. Every day a bit more of the things that makes her, her slips away and each day it hurts more and I wish she could remember it all. I wish she'd start picking faults with what I've done with my life because although I hate her doing it, that's what makes her her.

I miss her even though she's still here
you need to listen
Don't let her disappear
I'd give her my forever
If it meant for a day she can really be okay
'Cause I miss her
Even though she's still here

She mumbles about something, something about life before I was born and although she's mumbling it's as loud to me as if she was shouting. These are the things I need to remember because if she completely forgets everything these are the stories I can try and tell her to see if it brings anything back.

Is this pretend?
Will she really not know my face?
In the ending
If You're a friend a friend a friend
Show me how to heal it when she can't even feel it
Please… show me

I can't quite believe this is real for some reason, she's been slowly slipping away for so long now that it's been hard really to notice but now there's no mistaking it. The doctors told me to prepare for the day when she won't know who I am, and that day's fast approaching as with each day she talks about me but stares at me blankly as if I'm a stranger and not the little girl that she's talking about. How am I supposed to make this better? She see's nothing is wrong, she can't feel herself slipping away like I can see it.

And promise me this
When she goes
Everything she sees will set her free
Promise me this
That she knows
That the people that she loves
Will love her in the skies above

I know there will be a day soon when she'll completely slip away both mentally and physically but if there is a God, promise she'll look down and remember everything. Promise she'll be her again because I miss her. Promise she'll know I love her. Promise she'll miss me too.