Dearest Mr. Stark.

I love you very much. You are an inspiration to me, in my personal and professional life. You are my god, my hero, my rock.

You gave me the courage in the face of the unknown, the courage to accept consequences of my actions and the courage to accept things about me that I hadn't known.

You gave me the strength to fight the battles that I was too scared to fight. You gave me the boost to take certain risks, challenges, and do things I normally would be shy to do.

You have always been my companion, in my thoughts, and my conscience – a voice inside my head offering encouragement and a unique perspective of things – a voice that's steady, calm, practical, yet quippy, funny, and witty – even a little mad.

You are a reason why I am so well connected with my inner madness, and why I am willing to explore the boundaries of who I am. You give me the inspiration, to be able to be alone in pursuing what I believe in.

Your charm pleases me, your wit dazzles me. Your form ensnares me. Your knowledge awes me, pushes me to become better. I learn from you, your nature, and your personality – to be helpful, to be there when someone needs you, to do anything to bring joy to people, to make things better for someone.

I know, Mr. Stark – Tony, that you are fictional. And boy, do I wish that you weren't.

But that little thing has never, nor will it ever, come in the way of me loving you for who you are; Loving the strength, the will, the genius, the passion, and the affection, and the generosity,
loving the man who wants to save the world because he can't think otherwise,
the man who bears the weight of a universe on his shoulders,
the boy who wants to see everyone happy, safe, and thriving;
the genius whose curiosity and talent knows no bounds,
the boy who loves secret doors, and tinkering, and creating,
the man who knows to spend as well as earn,
and the man who knows the importance of love, passion and expression.

You will always be more real to me than many real people in my life, because compared to their little candles of lives yours is a sun that burns brightest. Your presence in my Virtual world matters and helps me just as much as true friend's love does in the real world.

I don't know how sane is it that I trust in a fictional guy like I would a real one. And it doesn't matter. Because trusting you makes me whole in a strange way, that in which the possession of trustworthy people makes me.

You have helped me through tough times, and you've been there through the rest. You are never missing from the world in my head.

Thank you, Tony. Thank you for the world, thank you for the love. And most importantly, thank you for you, you precious gem of a person. Thank you.

I am very worried, Tony, about you. I always am. You do know you tend to overwork yourself. You tend to push past your limits, of mental, emotional and physical prowess. You are an amazing man – but Tony, you are a man. I need you to be safe, and happy, and thriving just as much as you want to save the world. The world needs you – although I daresay you know that, you ass.

Right now, not knowing where you are, knowing you are missing somewhere in that vast enormity of the unknown, is what brings me to tears every day. That you are living your worst nightmare, the very thing you fear the most, is breaking my heart to smaller pieces each moment. Knowing that you are away from you home, your love, your friends and family – is excruciating pain.

And knowing that I'm unable to do anything to bring you back home, bring you back to the arms of love that I know you crave, to keep you safe, Tony – Safe – the one thing I want the most right now. I want you in the middle of people whom you've made your family, people who love you so much, and are dying a little with every second that passes by and doesn't bring you home.

I have finally crossed the line, where before it was possible for me to remind myself that the pain was virtual, fictional; neither you, nor the pain remains fictional anymore – ever since I left you stranded on that god-awful planet, broken and alone – I have been broken myself. I have been living with you there, in my head, watching in pain as I realize there is nothing I could do.

Nothing, but wait.

The most harrowing moments, the constricted throat, the brimming eyes, the fist of iron squeezing my heart;

Then I pray: If there is someone out there, listening, please save my Tony Stark. He's the handsome one with a devilish smile. He's the clever one without guile. He's lost, and I need him. We're lost without him. Bring him home, safe and sound. He deserves his home, and all the love, for he has more than earned it. Just find him, please, and get him home.

And for a moment, the iron fist opens, a breath comes in, of faith, and the tear doesn't roll down. In that moment, I remember my faith, in the strength and adamancy of Tony, and I know no lady luck is a match for Tony's tenacity. And for just a little while, I live, and look up at skies, searching for my star. I search, and search, but then, the heavens are empty, my god is gone, there are no angels watching, and no life to live for.

I am but a poor human, Tony. The worry seeps back in; the tears fill up.

And so, I wait, Tony. So I wait.

.