Over the Moon
Greetings. This crack fic, is, apparently, the result of boredom and procrastination.
Warning: Prepare for weirdness and OOCness.
—
Yada is oddly excited. She and her girls - that is, all the females who were in Class E - had arranged a girls' night to celebrate Koro Sensei's death anniversary.
The event is held at a large function room, and Yada had deemed herself the leader of the organising. For once, Kataoka hadn't interjected.
So, as each of the girls file in, all wearing cocktail dresses (but some extremely uncomfortable about it, like Okano and Okuda), and all chattering happily, Yada feels a sense of duty and pride.
"I brought heaps of champagne!" she grins giddily, pointing to an enormous ice bucket.
This sentence is, surprisingly, met with a lot of confused faces.
"I thought I was the one bringing the drinks," Hara says.
"No, I'm pretty sure it was me," Nakamura frowns.
Kurahashi holds up her bag of clinking glass bottles. "But Yada told me to bring them!"
"I got us expensive stuff!" Kayano - or Akari, whatever she wanted to be called now - frantically waves around two wine bottles.
Yada watches the commotion, slightly perplexed. "Okay, everyone, calm down!" she calls. "It doesn't really matter who was supposed to bring the alcohol. The more the merrier, right! In fact, I insist you drink all of it."
"YEAH!" Kaede, Rio, Fuwa, and Hinano cheer.
"B-But I've never had alcohol before…" Okuda whimpers, watching the scene timidly.
"Neither have I," Hazama replies. "And I'm not too excited about having it anyway."
The resident dark girl grabs Manami's arm and leads her away to another table. "Come on, Okuda, I want to discuss some science-y things with you."
"Like what?" the chemist asked.
"Like, you know…" a sudden chilling glint that could out-scare Karma's flashes in Kirara's eyes. "If the possibility of making my own Frankenstein is possible."
Meanwhile, to no one's surprise, Rio is the first to open one of her champagne bottles she'd brought.
"Don't be shy, ladies!" she calls, pouring some into Fuwa's glass (which was unnecessarily big).
The women line up to have their glasses filled. Some of the classier type, like Rinka and Megu, prefer Kayano's so-called 'expensive stuff'.
Soon, they lapse into comfortable conversation. They each sit in their own groups, and Hara insists Manami and Hazama have some of the drinks too. They eventually give in, and both are suddenly more interested in the foreign taste of the alcohol than their own Frankenstein-related conversation.
Yada observes her handiwork proudly. Kaede, Rinka, and Megu are in a heated discussion about economics (this is a shock for the ponytailed brunette - she hadn't known they were so passionate about this kind of thing); Fuwa is recommending some old-people manga to Kanzaki, who regards it with great interest (although she may have been more interested in the love stories than actually selecting some for the age care).
"More champagne!" Hinano yells, opening yet another bottle, and her comrades give exclaimations of agreement (save for the economic-snazzy group, and the amateur-alcohol-drinkers pair), lining up for more.
Kayano pours more glasses of that nice new expensive wine she'd bought for the two taller girls. "I mean, the acting industry should actually give their actors a pay rise," she babbles on, encouraged by nods from Hayami and hums of agreement from Kataoka, and the occassional "indeed," and "I couldn't agree more," from her companions.
"I wonder if we can ask Karma to do something about it," Megu muses, sipping at her drink.
The three contemplate the what reaction of the red-haired politician would be.
"I know he will if Okuda asked him," Hayami replies finally, before downing her whole glass of wine whilst still looking business-like and composed.
Rio whisks by, already a tiny bit tipsy. Then again, it might be been her normal personality - it's always hard to tell with the blonde.
"Champagne, guys?" she offers. "There's plenty."
The three hold out their cups before Nakamura twirls off again, offering more drinks to everyone else.
—
Hayami finishes her seventh drink of the night. She's already feeling slightly woozy. Groaning, she rubs her head and blinks slowly, trying to make out where she was.
She looks around, not noticing Nakamura had refilled her drink yet again, and immediately sets her eyes on something familiar.
A cat.
She blinks again, harder this time. Yes, it is definitely a cat - a green cat. But still a cat.
Rinka loves cats. More than anything else (except for Chiba and shooting, of course. But neither the man nor a gun was present right now).
Wordlessly, she stands up, a little shakily, grabs the cat, picks it up, and sits down on a nearby beanbag with the green feline.
"Good kitty," she murmurs, petting the kitten on the head.
She becomes pleasantly surprised when the cat burrows into her side, obviously wanting more pats, which she happily obliges.
In reality, to no one's surprise, the cat is indeed Kayano. It isn't her fault, or Rinka's, that she had been mistaken for one, due to her chosen hairstyle.
Kaede's system is also being overtaken by alcohol. She becomes increasingly happy about being doted by Hayami.
Whilst all this is happening, Hazama and Okuda's conversation had gone completely off Frankenstein and biology and science. They had started discussing the meaning of life.
"I'm telling you, the meaning of life is death," Manami slurs, sipping at her champagne.
"Nononononono," Kirara mumbles. "The meaning of life is leeks!"
"Death!"
"Leeks!"
"Death!"
"Leeks!"
Suddenly, a pair of hands bang down at the table.
They look up to see Kanzaki's face holding a serious, valiant expression. She has an ominous vibe about her, eyes narrowing as she stares at the two.
"You're both wrong," Kanzaki announces. "There is only one true meaning of life…SEX!"
"Death!"
"Leeks!"
"Sex!"
Hara watches them, looking uncharacteristically like a sad drunk. Which, in reality, she is.
"Ah, the young 'uns actually have energy to argue, and even open their mouths…what happened to my youth?" she mumbles, drinking her champagne.
"It went down the drain, that's where it went," she continues, talking to no one in particular, except for an equally drunk Kurahashi, who starts crying hysterically at Sumire's depressing monologue.
"It's okay Hara! You're not old!" she sniffles between stifled sobs.
Out of the blue, someone grabs Kurahashi's arms and pulls her towards them.
Hinano blinks up into Megu's eyes. "Can you dance?" the ikewoman asks.
"No?"
Kataoka pauses, as if in deep thought. "Me neither."
—
"So, you think Asano is hot?" Fuwa asks, smirking inwardly as she interviewed a ridiculously drunk-off-her-blonde-ass Nakamura. She had started subtly filming the whole thing, and was planning to show Gakushuu later.
"Ohhh, yes. Mmmm. So hot," Rio slurs, obviously drunk to oblivion. "I mean, hotness radiates off him like heat radiates off a radiator. He is so hot. His sexiness is overwhelming."
"What about Karma?" Yuzuki prods.
Rio shakes her head vigorously. "Ewwww! He doesn't stand a chance against Gakushuu-kuuuuuuuun! I mean, you hafta admit it, Yuziiii-chan, Gakushuu is like six things! Hot, smart, a genius, sexy, and hot too!"
Her filming comrade doesn't have the heart to tell her that Nakamura's list consists of only five things, and one was repeated. Oh well.
"Oh my gosh, Gakushuu-kun and I should have f-fifty chiiiildren!" the blonde yells, throwing her arms up in the air. "My kiiiids would be soooo hot!"
Yuzuki drinks more of her wine. "That's both incest and pedophilia, I think."
"Hey, Yuziii-chan, let'sa have a competition!"
Considering Rio was currently too drunk to even stand up, Yuzuki agrees.
"Soooo, I wanna you to have five more cups of wine!" Nakamura grins. "I-If you get drunk, I'm gonna kiss Mimura!"
Fuwa's eyes narrow, and her protectiveness kicks in. "Never! Koki-kun's mine!"
"Mmmmmmm," Rio hums. "If y-you win, I'll do any-ting ya wanna!"
"Will you kiss Gakushuu if I win?"
Rio blinks, as if confused by the notion, then throws her arms up again, screaming. "YAAASSSSSS!"
"Deal, then!"
Fuwa isn't eager to lose. She gulps down five more glasses of wine.
Unfortunately, she becomes utterly wasted.
Fortunately, both of them forget about the bet two minutes after they make it.
"B-but listen, Asano? I mean, like soooooo sexy!" Nakamura continues.
"Listen, my precious homie," Yuzuki begins formally, speaking a lot like their ex-principal. "You and Gakushuu belong together the way films belong with magnifying glasses. The chemistry between you two is greater than the chemistry between Okano and Maehara!"
"What did you guys say?" Okano says, popping out of nowhere. She, too, had gotten way too drunk.
"I said, you and Maehara are so perfect together, it out-perfects Isogai!"
"But Maehara's a dick," the gymnast responds, genuinely perplexed.
"Oh yeah, he does have one!" Nakamura suddenly yells.
"Have a what?"
"A dick! Gakushuu has a dick!"
This makes the poor Okano even more confused. "Huh?"
They were all surprised by Rinka, who walks over, gathers Okano in her arms, and proceeds to fuss over her.
"Oh, you're so cute, little kitty," Hayami croons, cradling the perplexed but satisfied Hinata.
"Thank you?"
Fuwa and Rio watch as Hayami fawns over Okano and Kayano, both 'kitties' extremely pleased with the whole situation.
Suddenly, Megu grabs Fuwa's shoulders. "Fuwa! Can you dance?"
Fuwa looks so startled by this notion that Kataoka backs off a little.
Turning slowly to the ikewoman, Yuzuki looks absolutely horrified. "How did you know?" she screams.
"Know what?" Kataoka screams back, as it seems only suitable.
"THAT I COULD DANCE!"
"You can dance?" Kurahashi says, sneaking up behind her. "Dance with me, Fuwa!"
Yuzuki obliges with a straight face, solemnly twirling Kurahashi around.
Megu watches, puzzled, when someone suddenly taps her on the shoulder.
"Kataoka!" cries Yada. "Are you drunk?"
"No," Megu lies. "I'm perfectly fine. Yada, can you dance?"
The other ponytailed brunette blinks, nonplussed. "Oh, so you ARE drunk."
Kataoka shakes her head wildly, muttering to herself.
Yada lets go of her and surveyes the room, panicking. So she had accidentally gotten all the girls wasted. Oh boy. Trying not to hyperventilate, she does the first thing she can think of - call her boyfriend.
—
Likewise to the girls, the guys had planned a Guy's Night. They're all currently in the living room of Akabane's enormous house, snacking on chips and soft drinks.
Justice's phone rings in the middle of a game of 'Truth or Die', which had been initiated by Karma.
He picks it up, and his girlfriend's contact name (Okajima had hacked into his phone and changed it to 'Boobalicious Brunette') flashes acorss the screen.
He taps the green call button and holds the phone to his ear. "Hey, Yada!" he greets cheerfully. "How's the party going?"
Her voice possesses the calmness of a hysterical person who just found out they'd woke up to a zombie apocalypse. "IT'S A FREAKING TRAIN WRECK!" she screeches. "I've gotten all the girls drunk and they're pretty much suited for an asylum!"
At this, Kimura's police instincts kick in. "I'll be there right away. Do you need me to call reinforcements?" His eyes flicker to the rest of his friends, who look like they need a quick escape from Karma's torturous game.
"Oh, bring everyone! We'll need it!"
—
One thing was certain - Yada's party is NOT a just train wreck.
It's a high-speed cargo train that smashed into an active volcano.
The smell of alcohol is so strong that Karma thinks he's going to puke.
The first thing he notices is Hayami, Kayano, and Okano all snuggled up on a beanbag like some strange lesbian cult. He almost laughs at a fuming Maehara nearby and Chiba looking confused. And disturbed.
"Kar-uma-kun!"
He blinks at Manami, who's latched on to his shoulder. "Tell me! Is the true meaning of life death?" she asks, shaking him like a madwoman.
"No!" Hazama yells, sidling up. She grabs a fistful of his red hair. "IT'S LEEKS!"
Kanzaki slowly approaches him, hands on her hips, looking like a solemn soldier. "Sex," she announces. "It's sex."
For once in his life, Karma is lost for words. "Um…"
Manami shakes him again. "IT'S DEATH, I TELL YOU! DEATH, DEATH, DEATH!"
"Of course it is," he reassures smoothly. "You're always right."
Okuda pauses, readjusting her glasses. "Do I know you?"
"Oh, shit. You're utterly wasted."
She shakes her head slowly. "Yeah…I don't know you."
He carefully unlatches himself from the three dark-haired girls' grasps and gazes, and heads to the only sober woman in the room - Yada, who looks ready to dig her own grave.
"What happened?" he deadpans.
Before the brunette can answer, Hara sidles up to them, looking too depressed to be alive. "Everythin' happened, that's what. Disaster happened. Ya know how the world ain't perfect? Well, it ain't. It's a burnt swiss roll, a disgusting burnt swiss roll…"
"You look too depressed to be alive," Yoshida says, speaking for Karma. "And what's with that Southern accent?"
"My boy, if only you've seen the things I've seen. Fire and hell, raining from the sky like cats and dogs. Animal cruelty, lemme tell you. Killing cows for food? Awful." Hara shakes her head. "And the worst part?" She pauses dramatically and whispers her next sentence. "Beef is delicious."
—
Maehara's eyes are fixated on Hayami, Okano and Kayano's intense snuggle session. He would have found it sexy, but for reason, the fact that Okano's engaged in it makes him very, very annoyed.
"Now, that is what I call some serious lesbo action," Okajima announces, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Taiga!" cries Kataoka, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him violently. The resident pervert's head swings back and forth almost comically as she shakes him. "Can you dance?"
Okajima blinks, and a slow smile stretches across his face. "Why indeed, I can!"
Megu silences, leans back, and slaps him hard across the head.
"AAAAAUGH!" Taiga screams. "What the hell, Kataoka? You're gonna give me brain damage!"
"It's alright," Fuwa reassures tipsily, slinging a arm across his shoulders. "You already have brain damage."
Isogai runs up, and, in stunning ikeman-like fashion, picks up a very violent-looking Megu and throws her over his shoulder.
"PUT ME DOWN!" the brunette screams, although making no effort to escape.
"What's wrong with you, Megu?" he responds.
Kataoka releases a strangled sob. "I don't know," she replies, crying hysterically.
Hara nods as she walks by. "Young 'uns, their sanity is decreasing. One day, you'll turn out like Taisei if you're not careful."
"WHAT!?" screeches the motorcycle ethusiast.
Fuwa decides the noise is too much for her, and staggers her way back to Nakamura, who pours her a drink.
"Lemme tell you, Gakushuu? We all know he's gay," Rio slurs. "For me."
"That means you're gay too," Fuwa replies. "Which means…you're a rainbow." Apparently the alcohol had reduced her once sharp brain into mush. "But that means…Gakushuu is a girl."
Nakamura nods. "Yeah, he's as hot as a grill. Good analogy, Yuzuki-chan."
"Nakamura, Fuwa!" cries Mimura, coming up to them. "Are you guys okay?"
Yuzuki takes one look at the director-in-training. Her eyes widen considerably. "NARUTOOOOOOOOO!"
"Wait, what?"
"Naruto, my boy! You gotta tell me how Sailor Uranus is going!" Fuwa yells, grabbing Mimura's arm.
"You know it's bad when she's getting her manga mixed up," Sugaya observes. He hands a photo of Gakushuu to an ecstatic Nakamura. "That'll keep you preoccupied for a few minutes," he says, patting her head.
The artist looks around the room. The situation reminds him discreetly of Picasso's abstract art.
However, his eyes are especially drawn to the three women hugging on a beanbag. Something is definitely up, and he has a feeling something bad is about to happen.
And something bad does happen - in the form of Hayami and Okano ready to kiss, with Kayano watching, looking interested.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Maehara suddenly yells, and storms over to grab the gymnast before some seriously M-rated stuff could happen between her and the sniper. "Don't touch Hinata!" he yells, hugging her protectively.
"Kiiitttyyyy!" Rinka whines. "Give me back my kitty, pleeeeaaase!"
Sugaya watches as the ever-sensible Chiba walks foward to try to negotiate with his sniper-in-crime.
"Rinka, maybe you should—"
"BLACK KITTTY!"
Hayami reaches up and pulls a beet-red Chiba down into her lap, stroking his hair.
Kayano, feeling of no more importance, stands up and leaves. She wanders around until she finds a sullen Kurahashi.
"Can you tango?" the nature-lover questions melancholically.
A sudden look of duty crosses the actress's face. She pulls Kurahashi up and stares at her dead in the eye. "I can tango. And I can do it fucking well."
"Tango with me, Kaede!"
"As you wish, Hinano!"
Sugaya averts his eyes elsewhere. "Oh, hell."
Isogai walks over, carrying a sobbing Kataoka in his arms like she's a princess. "Sugaya! Have you seen Sugino and Nagisa? I don't know where—"
"HEEEEEELP!"
The two men look to their right just in time to see Okuda, Hazama, and Kanzaki chasing around the baseballer and bluenette, each carrying weapons - Okuda, a half-broken champagne bottle; Hazama, an ice bucket sloshing with cold water; and Kanzaki wielding both of her stilettos like twin daggers.
"Damn it, Hazama, calm your gothic ass down!" Terasaka gripes. He grabs a squirming Kirara around the waist and lifts her high into the air as she screams menacing gibberish at the ceiling.
"I'll calm my gothic ass down if you tell me the meaning of life!" Hazama yells. "Is it leeks? It is, I tell you!"
Terasaka sets down the persistent goth girl, much to her relief. "What the fuck is wrong with your noggin?" Ryoma yells.
"Itona, is it leeks?" Kirara asks while pouring the sloshy water all over the carpet in a strangely dignified manner.
"The meaning of life is leeks," Itona replies flatly.
Kirara chucks the bucket over her shoulder and hugs a surprised Itona. "Thank you so much!" she sobs.
With one madwoman down, Karma chases Manami and Yukiko, both screaming at the top of their lungs.
"DEEEEAAAATH!" screams Okuda.
"SEEEEEEEEXX!" screams Kanzaki.
"HEEEEEEEEEELP!" screams Sugino.
Karma picks up his pace and disarms Manami easily with one hand. With the other, he duct-tapes her ankle to a table leg as fast as he can - which admittedly is very fast,
"Calm down, Manami," he says as gently as he can, trying not to freak out (what happened to his adorable innocent Manami?!). "Take a few deep breaths."
"Stranger Danger," Okuda intones.
"I'm Karma. Your best friend. Okay?"
The chemist blinks for a few seconds, before smiling suddenly. "Okay!" She replies cheerfully, hugging the redhead around his waist. "I love you so much, Kar-uma-kun!"
"Uh, yeah, okay. Love you too," he replies, blushing faintly.
"OH LORDY LORDY LORDY, IT'S TURNED INTO A CUDDLEFEST!" Hara yells suddenly from her perch on a table. "SPREAD THE LOVE, MY CHILDREN, SPREAD THE LOVE!"
"You're so beautiful, kitty. I want you to be my kitty forever and ever," Hayami whispered into Chiba's hair.
"Okay," says Chiba, sweating profusely. He knew that Rinka would definitely regret it later.
"Hey, how come I don't get any cuddles?" Okajima asked dejectedly, pointing at himself.
"No one likes you, man," answers Maehara, arms still around a very sad Hinata.
—
Somehow, Kurahashi and Kayano's tango had gotten very handsy in various ways.
"That's not how you do the tango," Kimura deadpans as he and Yada duct-tapes down Kanzaki.
"No…" Yada agrees. "A looks a bit like a stripping routine."
"Now this is pure, high-class lesbo action!" Okajima nods, wiping at his nosebleed.
Kataoka slaps him in the face again, still being carried by a currently unfazed Isogai.
Yada finishes duct-taping a drowsy Kanzaki. It has indeed, as Hara said, turned into a cuddlefest.
However, she decides she can use it to her advantage.
Hayami, Okuda, Hazama, Kataoka and Okano are currently preoccupied by cuddles (three of them hugging some VERY embarrassed men, the latter two being hugged). Good. Kanzaki is now unconscious. Hara has resolved to lecturing Yoshida about 'spreading the love'. Nakamura is kept busy by the photo Sugaya had given her (Yada swears that artist was quite a genius).
Right. So Fuwa and the tango partners need to be taken care of.
—
"So I told her, "Naruto is educational. It teaches kids to eat their veggies." Get what I'm saying? And this woman, she looks at me like I'm drunk. She asked me, "are you drunk?" And I was like, "I never get drunk." That was so offensive of her, you get what I'm saying?" Fuwa rambles to Mimura.
"So offensive," Mimura agrees, internally having no idea what she was saying.
"I'm glad you understand me, Naruto," Fuwa nods, looking touched. "I'm a big fan. I'd do anything you said."
This gives the Mushroom Director a quick idea. "Anything, you say?" he asks.
"Except for die, or have sex," Yuzuki confirms.
"Do you mind…if you go to sleep for me?" Koki requests.
Fuwa taps a finger to her chin. "Will you tuck me in?"
"Yes?" he decides, still confused.
He hops off the barstool, turning back to grab Fuwa, but the manga addict's already asleep.
"That was fast," he muses as he drapes his jacket over her shoulders (wearing a spaghetti-strap cocktail dress to sleep is not very helpful). "She must sure love Naruto."
—
"I have to say, Kayano, you're looking especially gorgeous tonight," Kurahashi smiles flirtily.
"Oh please, call me Kaede," her tango partner purrs. "And you're gorgeous too, Hinano. So beautiful."
Hinano grins. "Really? You sound even sleazier than Okajima."
"You know you love it."
"Someone please stop them before they go at on the dance floor," Yada mumbles, rubbing her temples.
Okajima raises a hand. "I'll do it."
"Um, Okajima, are you sure?" Isogai asks as he rubs an adoring Kataoka's back.
Taiga nods. "Trust me on this one."
He approaches the pair slowly at first. However, as Kayano twirls Kurahashi around, letting go of her hands for a split second, Okajima quickly cuts in, grabbing Hinano and spinning her off elsewhere.
"Oh, hello, handsome," Kurahashi cooes.
"Hello there, gorgeous," he answers, spinning her around. "Is your name Wifi? Because I'm feeling a connection…"
Hinano smirks rather sleazily. "Do you have a map? Because I'm lost in your eyes…"
"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
"Are you library book? Because I'm checking you out…"
Takebayashi watches as he pours Yada a glass of water. "Is it just me, or is Okajima really enjoying this?"
"No, he's definitely enjoying it," Isogai sighs.
"Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day," Taiga says.
Kurahashi slows down. "Come to think of it, I'm actually pretty exhausted."
"Maybe you should get some sleep."
"Yeah, maybe."
And with that, Hinano collapses on one of the spare beanbags.
"Ha! Did it!" Okajima grins triumphantly.
Itona raises his eyebrows from under Hazama, who's curled up like a cat on him. "Wow. Even perverts can help the world."
"Of course we can," Maehara replies, rocking Okano to sleep. "And by the way, I'm pretty tired. Is everyone just sleeping here or something?"
"Now we are," Karma replies, looking guiltily happy from being Manami's cuddle cushion.
Chiba squirms from under a sleeping Hayami's vice grip. "Yes, apparently."
Yada looks at Kayano, passed out next to Kanzaki.
What a ridiculous, terrible, chaotic night.
Something tells her that tomorrow morning would be even worse.
—
…
—
Hayami wakes up with a vague sense of nausea and a lovely feeling of warmth. Her head's pounding, too, and she can hardly remember what happened last night.
"Rinka?" asks a muffled voice.
She looks down. "Um, Chiba? Did I—"
"Do you mind if you let me go now? You've kind of been hugging me all night."
"I'm so sorry," she applogises, flustered.
What the hell happened last night?
—
Hazama groggily opens one eye, and then the other. She's curled up in a fetal position, as per usual, but…
"ITONA-KUN!" she borderline screeches.
Itona hardly moves, still half-asleep. "Sorry…you were so comfy…" On instinct, he hugs her tighter.
"Ah, curses," she mutters. "Unless you want me to puke all over you, please let me go."
—
Nakamura wakes up splayed on the toilet floor, draped in toilet paper.
"Ah, how handy," she says, addressing the toilet bowl, as she kneels to vomit in it.
With that done, she dabs her probably-bloodshot eyes and attempts to recall what happened last night.
Something she notices immediately is a photo of shirtless Gakushuu on the floor next to her.
"What the—"
—
Manami's head is pounding. It feels like a thousand mini elephants are tramping around in there.
She tries to get up to pour herself a up of cold water, but she's restricted by two things.
One, Karma snuggled into her shoulder (he looks so peaceful that she doesn't want to bother him).
Two, she's…duct taped…to a table leg.
Eventually, her confusion gets the better of her and she gently removes Karma's head from her shoulder. She spots a half-broken bottle of champagne next to her.
"Oh, you're awake," Karma says, yawning like a cat. "Hold on and I'll grab some scissors to un-tape you."
"Okay," she replies, still perplexed.
—
"What's this?" Hara yells, eyes almost popping out of her head as she stares at a piece of paper Yoshida hands her.
"Yeah, you wrote it for me last night," he replies. "Awfully depressing, isn't it?"
Sumire winces at the negative letter she apparently wrote for Taisei.
"Um, I'm more concerned about the colloquial slang," she answers, furrowing her eyebrows. "Oh, goodness, I swore! There are so many swear words! Was I really that drunk?"
Yoshida nods. "Yes."
—
Okano rubs her eyes. Her cheeks are oddly stiff with the afterthought of steady streams of tears.
"Good morning, sunshine," Maehara sing-songs. "You slept like baby."
It takes some time for Hinata to register the fact that Maehara had been cradling her like she was a newborn.
"WHAT THE HELL? PERVERT!" she screams, attempting to kick him in the face. Unfortunately, her hangover slows down her actions considerably.
"You're supposed to thank me, Little Miss," Hiroto tuts, still cradling her. "I saved you from making out with Hayami."
"From what?" Okano repeats, eyes wide. "How much did I drink last night?"
—
"Fuwa."
Poke.
Poke, poke, poke.
She bats the person's hands away and buries her head in her arms, groaning loudly. Her brain is killing her.
Suddenly, she's hit with a blast of cold.
Fuwa straightens up. "Yeesh!"
"Sorry, just claiming what's mine," Mimura laughs, putting on his jacket.
"I'm cold. And tired. And confused," she complains, resting her head back on the bar table.
"Well…to sum it up, you got so utterly wasted last night, you got your manga mixed up."
Her stomach plummets. "Seriously? Oh, no…"
—
"Rise and shine, Hinano!"
"My everything hurts," she mutters, not opening her eyes.
"Hmm. Side effects of flirting with me, I'm afraid."
Kurahashi's eyes pop open. "O-Okajima! Did you say I was flirting with you?"
"Don't act too surprised. In fact, you were the one who started it. I only rescued you from having lesbian sex with Kayano," Okajima answers offhandedly.
"We whaaaat?!" Kayano yelps from beside Kurahashi. "B-But…I…this…"
"Oh, yes," continues the pervert, laughing at the girls' horrified expressions. "And Kanzaki here was declaring that the meaning of life was sex!" He points to a half-conscious Yukiko taped down on the floor.
"I'm going to pass out," Kayano murmurs, rubbing her head. "I hope the other girls are doing okay…"
—
Kataoka blinks, dazed. The ceiling seems to be swaying. She sits up and sees a blanket draped on her. Probably by Isogai - even her hungover brain can register that.
"Morning, Megu," he smiles, handing her a glass of water.
She hums in response and takes the water, sipping at it. She tries to remember what happened last night, but her brain is fuzzy.
She notices that Isogai's massaging his arm.
"Is your arm okay?" she asks, setting down the cup.
"Well, I guess," he answers. "I did have to carry you princess-style all night though."
—
Soon, everyone in the room stirs awake. Eleven confused and hungover women surround Yada's phone.
"Ritsu, did you film everything like I asked?" Yada questions the AI.
Ritsu salutes. "Yup! Would everyone like to watch?"
The video of last night's traumatising shenanigans begins to play. Slowly, very slowly, expressions of pure disgust and horror start showing up on their faces, much to Yada's amusement.
"Please, no…" Nakamura bemoans, covering her ears as video-Nakamura starts ranting about Gakushuu's hotness.
The others have similar reactions. Hayami gives up watching halfway, cheeks burning. Hara winces. Okuda continues watching, absolutely horrified.
"That night…was a disaster," Yada declares as the footage ended, much to everyone's relief.
"Hear, hear," Fuwa mumbles, massaging her temples. "I'm starting to regret drinking alcohol."
—
Unbeknownst to any of the former 3-E students, Gakushuu arrives to work with a very strange message in his inbox.
It's from Fuwa, which surprised him, and has a video attatched.
Of Nakamura.
Ranting about his hotness.
(Yes, Fuwa had sent it to him.)
His eye twitches as he watches the humiliating video, and starts to dial Rio.
"Hi, this is Nakamura—"
"NAKAMURA, WHAT THE HELL IS THE VIDEO IN MY INBOX!?"