Hey yall! Guess who rewatched her favorite movie on netflix more than enough times?

Me. It me.

But anyway yeah I really love El Dorado so so so so much I knew I had to write at least something for it, and I did manage to scrounge this up so im super pumped.

This right here is a modern au where Tulio and Miguel are fresh college grads, Chel is Tulio's gf, and Altivo is Tulio's pet dog rather than horse, (i know, it sounds weird but trust me itll be fine).

Usually I hate love triangles to death but for some reason this one in particular entertains me deeply, so I'm just gonna roll with this.

There's a bit of spanish here and there so the translations are at the bottom. Just scroll down when you come to them.

Annnd yeah i think thats it for now. Read on and tell me what you think!

~DUECES

They really didn't waste a single second shooing me out of the room this time. It literally took less than a minute for that tall idiot to spot me minding my business in the corner of their bedroom and break away from his precious "Angel-cakes" to swat me out the door with his bare foot. Not so gently, may I add.

This is how my life has been for the past couple months or so; it might be approaching the half year mark at this point to be quite accurate. Getting ushered in and out of places in a home that I have lived in for years, as if I was the new resident in this apartment and not that shrill-voiced sorry excuse for a Sports Illustrated model.

If it isn't already clear, I don't like Chel. You're probably wondering who exactly Chel is, but if I gave you my description of who Chel is, then you'd more than likely listen to the rest of my spiel with a skewed perspective of who Chel actually is. Although I may be judgemental and cold, I'm fair and I think that everyone deserves an equal chance. So, I'll just keep my personal perceptions of her to a minimum and give you simple facts.

Chel is a twenty-one year old college dropout who happened to strike gold with a well-off boyfriend in her two years of college education and latch herself onto that train before it left the station.

Well, I tried to be nice, but even the facts are mean.

I suppose there might be nice facts about Chel, if I try desperately hard not to look at her as a golddigger.

She's amazingly beautiful, that's an unfortunate fact. Long, silky, raven-colored hair that falls ever-so gracefully down her shoulders and back; a warm, terracotta complexion; and physical features so unattainably stunning that it makes me wonder nearly every day how someone as underwhelming as Tulio Lopez could manage to win her over.

Now it may seem like I'm being excessively harsh to him as well, but I assure you that this is my normal level of snarkiness to this man and it's nothing to think ill of. He is my owner after all, I can only be but so irritated with his routine antics.

I've been Tulio's best canine companion ever since he was fourteen and still growing into that tall and lanky awkward body that puberty shoved onto him. I need to emphasize "canine" here because I wouldn't want you to mistakenly assume that I am indeed Tulio's best friend. No no no, absolutely not.

Tulio Lopez's best friend happens to be one of my favorite people, and unlike Chel, I actually don't mind how much he has intermixed into my owner's life.

Miguel Sanz is such a nice and sweet young boy-well I suppose I should say man at this point. He's what, nearly twenty two? Only a few months younger than Tulio?

I've known Miguel for as long as I've know Tulio, and that's because the two of them were practically inseparable as young teens, and from my knowledge their friendship extends even farther beyond that point. They've supposedly known each other from early childhood, age five if I'm remembering the conversation I overheard correctly.

Either way my point is, the two of them are-well-were best friends. The closest a pair could ever be. Miguel is my ideal partner for Tulio. Miguel is so generous to me, he'll give me spoonfuls of peanut butter when he's over and he'll always play energy-filled games of catch until Tulio tells him to relax and to "Give Altivo a break before he drops dead" not that I need one however.

But sadly, Miguel isn't Tulio's partner. Instead, it's Chel; a scheming devilishly attractive self-server who has that poor man wrapped around her tiny little fingers.

It's because of her that I'm out here on this cold linoleum floor rather than in the comfort of my own bed. I truly wish that at this point someone would either relocate it to a different (but preferably warm) room; or simply stop hogging that stupid bedroom for hours on end when they know for a fact that that is the one place I spend the majority of my time.

I used to sleep on the bed with Tulio, but ever since I had the accidental displeasure of watching first hand what now goes on in that spot, I've opted for my pet bed only.

The annoying thing is that they barely ever stopped engaging in heated, rough, passionate sex during all available hours of the day. I wish I was exaggerating.

Before it was apparently a struggle for Tulio to sneak Chel into his college dorm because of RA's constantly watching and unpredictable roommates, but now that Tulio managed to scrounge up enough tip money for a couple months rent on an apartment, every second of the day was fair game.

I was happy when I heard that I would be able to live with Tulio again, but not as much when I met Chel for the first time and later found out that she'd be moving in with him.

"Oh-OH-Tulio! God don't stop baby..."

"God...Chel...augh."

I winced. No matter how far away from their door I went they were just so goddamn loud that I was subject to listening to their erotic noises. Ugh.

And this is no way to prepare for a guest that's supposedly arriving in less than an hour. Honestly.

It was at that moment that my face lit up. My ears went skyward as I delightfully remembered that this wasn't just any house guest coming over, this was the house guest. The only one who truly mattered.

"Tulio! Where are you going? Answer me you idiota!" And almost at the blink of an eye, that love session that was previously blaring through the entire home was abruptly ended and all I could see now was Tulio's figure haphazardly tugging his pants on as he stumbled out of the bedroom.

Chel was close behind, she had thrown on the work shirt that Tulio had tossed into the dirty clothes pile.

"Why do you insist on calling me names in Spanish as if I can't understand you?" Tulio replied, now sitting on the futon and pulling on his worn, old polo boots.

"Why not, huh? If you can't understand what I'm saying to you in English right now, quizá entiendas en español!(1)"

At that, Tulio finished lacing his boots and looked over begrudgingly at his girlfriend. "Chel, darling, please don't do this right now. I'm already stressed out enough as it is."

Chel scoffed and folded her arms. "Stressed out? With what? The fact that your 'boyfriend' showed up a little earlier than expected?"

Tulio groaned loudly. "He is not my goddamn boyfriend-"

"Anymore."

I never thought I'd say it, but nice jab, Chel. That one stung a little, and you could see it written all over Tulio's deeply irritated face.

"Honestly? Are you sure you're twenty one, Chel? Because you're acting like a child." The tall man snapped, swiftly moving across the room to take his coat from the nearby closet. "Miguel has been my best friend for literal decades and you still get hung up on one little thing I told you about that doesn't even matter anymore. It's fucking unbelievable."

"I'm unbelievable? Are you kidding me? You're the unbelievable one for thinking that man doesn't still have feelings for you! Estas ciego o que?(2)"

Tulio snatced his keys from the counter top. "No Chel, I'm not blind. I'm not stupid. The only one who can't use enough common sense to figure out what's going on here is you."

Chel scoffed even louder, but that didn't stop Tulio from approaching her nearly an inch away from her face.

"It doesn't matter, if Miguel still has any feelings for me and you wanna know why? Because I'm not fucking dating Miguel. I'm dating you. I don't have feelings for Miguel and I don't give a damn if he does. You're the only one who matters to me right now."

Aw, that sounded rather sincere for someone who was lying straight through his teeth.

It seemed to suffice Chel however, because as soon as Tulio had said that, her huffed expression dissolved into a needy pout, which succeeded in drawing the taller man back over to his girlfriend. The two were soon in a tight embrace that almost made me a little sick to my stomach; I couldn't help but roll my eyes at how easily satisfied she was.

"Sure, you can say that, but do you even really mean it?" Chel still held her signature pout as Tulio nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck.

"Why would you even ask something like that? Of course I do sweetheart."

Eugh.

Chel drew her almond shaped eyes up from the carpet and into Tulio's gaze as he drew away from her neck. "It's not like I don't like Miguel baby...he's a wonderful guy I just-" She sighed. "He makes me a lil nervous, okay?"

"That's understandable." Tulio replied

He's been your best friend for years and he makes you nervous? Alright.

"He can be a bit touchy feely, I get how it might make you uncomfortable. But I assure you Chel. Absolutely nothing is happening between the two of us. Nothing at all. You have nothing to worry about."

The amount of pure bullshit that I was hearing today was absolutely amazing.

Chel still looked a bit hesitant, so in turn Tulio placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Alright, alright, how about this? I was going to order out rather than cook for all three of us, but how about instead I make some chile relleno for all of us? I know it's your favorite."

Distracting her with food, how romantic.

That seemed to make her happier however, because as soon as he mentioned food her frown perked up into an enthusiastic grin.

"You really would? You hate cooking with peppers." Chel snickered.

"I'm willing to make a sacrifice for my Angel-cakes." Tulio responded, grinning back at her.

God, there was that stupid pet name he'd given her. She was far from an "angel" of any sorts in my opinion.

And they just stood there for a few seconds, goofily grinning at each other as if they were high school sweethearts briefly meeting each other before the next bell rang. Truly incredible.

"I'll run by the store while you're gone and get some peppers and pork." The shorter woman patted her back pockets to make sure she had enough cash on her person.

"I would love that." Tulio replied back, smirking slightly.

Chel smirked back at him. "Don't do anything iffy baby, okay?"

"I won't"

"Lo prometes?(3)"

Tulio gently planted a kiss on her forehead before looking her genuinely in the eyes. "Lo prometo."

With that, the couple shared one last peck on the lips before Tulio broke away to continue on towards the door. It was a bit chilly outside, and he should've had on a heavier coat, but that was his problem to deal with later on.

"You mind if I take Altivo babe?" My ears perked up and I instantly shot up from my place near the dishwasher. "I don't know if you'll feel safer with him here or not-"

"No no no-take him!" Chel cut him off, now fixing her mascara in the hall mirror. "It's fine Tulio, I don't think he likes me that much anyway."

You're damned right I don't like you. Good observational skills.

"That's ridiculous. He's a dog. He likes everyone." Tulio couldn't be anymore wrong, but I kept my mouth shut.

Chel scoffed. "Sure he does. Tell that to the designer bag he peed on."

Tulio gave me a baffled look at that, and I shot him an "i-would-never" expression back. I mean, I did, but it was only because she refused to take me for a walk when Tulio specifically asked her to. It wasn't my fault that Great Pyrenees Dogs didn't have an iron bladder. She really didn't need that bag anyway; it wasn't designer. Whatever back end alleyway con artist told her that was lying. I've seen real coach before, and that definitely wasn't it.

Incredulous exchanges aside, Tulio simply rolled his eyes and gave me a quick whistle to follow him out the door. In no time we were trotting down the main apartment stairs and down to the parking lot; I hopped straight across the driver's seat to the passenger's as soon as Tulio opened the door.

He buckled himself in and started the ignition, giving me a narrow eyed glance as a tapped at the window so he could roll it down.

"You can sit up here for now Altivo, but when Miguel gets here you're gonna have to move, okay?"

I barked in agreement, anything for Miguel. Nothing was out of the question.

"Good." Tulio shifted the car into reverse and backed out of his parking space. "Miguel's gonna be so excited to see you. I can't wait to see his face."

I was excited to see Miguel too. It had to have been at least half a year since I'd seen him. The last time was at Tulio's graduation party he'd thrown the day after he'd received his diploma. (I know, I was shocked too).

However, he graduated and so did Miguel not to long after. And now they were finally getting to see each other again after several agonizingly long months. Nothing could be better.

Well, for me at least.

TRANSLATIONS:

1. "Maybe you'll understand me in Spanish!"

2. "Are you blind or something?"

3. "You promise?" "I promise."

Yeah I decided to throw in some Spanish here and there because I could picture them speaking it to each other in certain situations. Since the people of El Dorado were based off of Mayan civilization I assumed that in a modern AU that would probably make Chel of Mexican descent with Tulio and Miguel of Spanish descent (cause duh they were Spaniards in the movie).

But anyway woop woop yeah this is it for the first chapter. Idk why i decided to tell it from Altivo's perspective but I did and here we are. I think this gonna have like 2-3 (maybe more) chapters so hang in there for those and if you defs wanna see more, tell me about it!

Review please!

~DUECES